Static
by America Liberty
Summary: I hate hot weather and when the world ended it was hot and wet. It was also a Monday. I hate Mondays. Now, due to my defiant ways, I'm stuck in the peak of civilization, that happens to be Abel Township, in the middle of nowhere, run by idiots, who are in need of a new Runner Five. I hated Abel, but it was take the job or become zombie food and I was not about to be a walking meal.
1. Rebellion

November 14th 2014

The world ended on a Monday. It was a rainy, dark, and hot Monday, too. Not even the cold kind of Monday that made you want to wrap blankets around yourself and sip hot chocolate. No, when the world ended it was hot and humid, like a tropical rainforest. Let me tell you, this is why I hate Mondays.

My head throbbed on the bus ride to Mullion's Base and it hurt when I organized my first strike. It hurt every time when I tried to escape and when Jake died. It always hurt when I got stressed. Well, it's hurting right now, because barracks are closed in ten minutes and I just traded my rations for a week, my socks, and a ring that my boyfriend got me for some paper and a pen. I wasn't supposed to trade things.

That is one of the many reasons that I hate it here at Mullion's Base. I hate it so much a few months back I tried to organize a hunger strike, so that maybe we could be treated like humans. That didn't work out so well. Turns out people love the little bits of food they get to much and I turned out to be the only one starving myself, and hey, that was more food for everyone else so no one stopped me.

I tried to march and chant a couple of weeks ago. I made signs out of wood and with a butter knife I carved 'knowledge for all.' I think I ended up spelling knowledge wrong but spelling didn't matter because no one liked my so-called artistic ability and catchy slogan. I know this because my sign got snapped in two, when Major Ivory found me screaming my head off in the street about civil rights and the privilege to know what is going on, like the officials did. That was my first time in confinement and lost my rations for three days. I attempted a couple of escapes but didn't really have a plan and got caught every time.

My most recent strike was trying to cause a riot in the camp by the heroic means of self-sacrifice and patriotism. I tried to slit my throat with a plastic knife so that maybe my death would cause a riot in Mullion's Base. I really should have known better. First problem with that plan was that they really didn't care if I died or not. They confiscated my pens (why I had to trade for one) and took me aside. They gave me a firm talking too about how everyone here was important and how they needed everyone in a different special way and how hurting myself would not bring my parents back and my baby brother was in a better place and that Jake would have wanted me to pull through. I cried every night since they said that because I knew it was true. Mullion's Base is good at screwing with your head and getting you to shut up.

In all honesty, I don't really have much of a reason to strike, except, you know, fair treatment, but still. They gave us meager rations and their military style kept the place running fairly. They kept us safe from the zombies in the world. I still hated it, incase you couldn't tell. I guess I wanted the one thing that the base really deprived me of. Knowledge. I wanted to know what was happening and I wanted to have a real role in the community. I wanted to feel needed and I wanted to know about the other people in what is left of America.

They don't want us knowing about other people in the world. They don't even want us knowing about ourselves and out neighbors. They told us that if we got attached to each other then we would care if we 'passed on.' I wonder if they know how inhumane that sounds or if they just do that to keep little pawns like us 'in line.' We refer to each other as 'Comrade Number' or simply 'Number.' My number is ninety-three because I was the ninety-third survivor too be allowed into the base. I think some people here have forgotten their names. I know my mother and father did, until they died of tuberculosis. I looked after my younger brother, but he turned gray or went all zombie on me. I made sure that he remembered his name was Aidan and that my mother's name was Adelaide Marie and my father's name was Brendon. Jake remembered his name, too. He was a rebel just like me but he turned zombie a couple of weeks ago in the same chaos that my brother died in. Ever since I lost them, I vowed to remember my name.

So when the lights are shut off for the night in the barracks I'll whisper my name to myself until I can see the sun, just so that I assure to myself that I'll remember it for one more day, because if I don't then I'm scared that ninety three will be my new name. I can't let that happen. I know Jake would have been proud. My father and mother would not have though. They were both in the army and when we were recruited to the base they assumed new identities and demanded that I do to. They died a week after the base was formed. The last words they ever said to me were in the heat of anger; so I'll not write them, just know that I would give anything to take them back.

I only have one memory of my father and mother. It's a book called Brave New World. I don't actually know what it's about. I've scanned through it a couple of times, but I've never really been one for reading. I think it's about birds because they're always talking about hatching things. Birds and maybe cannibals because they say savage a lot. I don't plan to read it though. In all honesty, it seems kind of boring.

I should probably be getting to bed, but, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm scared. I'm scared to sleep. I hate dreaming, partially because I know that my life will never be normal againe. I'll never stop dreaming; even when I'm awake I'm still dreaming. It's a horrible nightmare and a horrible bad dream, but, I tell myself that that's all it is; a bad dream. Not like I believe that, though. I'll always be living in a bad dream. I don't have a single person on this earth can count on any more.

Dr. Regan Hills tells me that it's a diagnosable case or paranoia, but I think that she's just saying that to keep me 'in line.' She tells me that I'm sick and that I need help that they can't give me but that's not true. She says that to everyone. She needs to keep people needing more of the limited supply of medication. She needs people to need her ten-minute therapy sessions. She needs us to need her more than we need her. The base needs us more than we need it.

Everyone else is stupid enough to stay here, when really all we would need to do is just overthrow a few people. Then we could have a democracy. Sucks that I'm the only one gutsy enough to even try to make a change. It also sucks that there is nowhere else to go.

Everyday I think that maybe if people start to see what Mullion's Base keeps from us they'll help me. They might start to see reason and realize that even though it's the apocalypse we can still live a good life. Yah, not really, we would definitely be better out of this dictatorship though.

They send people on missions and those people don't find out about it until they get there. It sucks that everyone else is too hooked to the pills they give us before bed to get us asleep. It's to bad that I have not a friend in the world to talk to anymore. It's too bad that I wish I were dead. To bad that this base sucks and to bad that I wish it would blow up with all of the people inside. To bad I wish zombies would come and destroy it. To bad I hate it here.


	2. Names

November 15th 2014

I'm more excited today then I've ever been in my entire existence here at Mullion's Base, which is not saying much. I have about one good memory and it's when my late boyfriend, Jake, found a way out of the fence and we went running through the woods for a while. That is my big memory here.

Let me explain a bit about the base so you can understand a little why I'm excited. Here at Mullion's Base, as much as I hate to say it, they don't treat us bad. I know I just completely contradicted myself, but bare with me here. They feed us and all but the never tell us anything and that's what I want. To know things. I guess that's why I hate it so much.

Well, every once in a while they send civilians out on missions. They never tell us what they are and they never release anything to anyone. The only reason I know about them are my parents, who are evidentially not with me anymore.

That's why I found it suppressing when they came right out during meal time and told everyone that they needed a brave volunteer who knew how to put up a tent. They said that, as they are a government run base they needed to help out other settlements of people that need help. Pretty much everyone needs help, but I wasn't going to say that to anyone because they were in need of a volunteer.

To go out on a chopper.

Out of headset signal range.

Away from here, giving me a real shot to get out of here.

Major Ivory asked for one person to come and set up tents at Able Township. Why Able Township needed someone to help set up tents was beyond me, but I saw a chance to escape, and for real this time. I didn't even remember that the people here are manipulative bastards and never tell you the whole mission until it's too late to back down.

After meal time I walked up to Major Ivory and in my most sincere voice possible, told him that I wanted to go. I was surprised, when they muttered something to each other about how everybody trusts a pretty girl and some Project Green Shoot. I don't know what being pretty had to do with setting up tents, but apparently a lot because I'm setting out tomorrow.

My plan is simple. Deliver the supplies to Able and help set up the tents then run like hell into the woods. That's all I have planned so far and I figure that it's all I'll ever have planned because I don't want to over think anything. Pretty much my whole plan is run as far away as possible. Great plan.

When I was going to fall asleep to thoughts of Jake and Aidan I herd a knock on the door. I didn't want to get it but I knew it had to do with the mission tomorrow. I groaned.

"Ninety Three?" I heard a voice call. My barrack mate, Ninety Seven, ran for the door.

"I'll get it!" She called.

"They called mFy number, stupid." I snapped and made sure not to say name. My name was not ninety-three. I opened the door. Major Ivory was standing there with Dr. Regan Hills.

"Excited for tomorrow?" Dr. Regan Hills asked.

"You bet!" I said enthusiastically. Dr. Hills stepped forward. The was probably the one time that I'd ever bee nice to Dr. Hills. She gave me a quick smile. Oh my god, did I want to punch her.

"I'm going to have to ask you some questions." If you are going to go I need to make sure that we don't have any more... um... incidents." She said. I knew what she was referring to and I hated her for it, but I needed out of here. I had come to far to give it all up because I shot a smart-ass response.

"Ask away, doc." I said and she looked annoyed at me. "I mean, please continue." I amended as sincerely as I could muster.

"Do you like it here?" the doctor asked. What the hell does this have to do with setting up tents? I hated it here but I needed to get on that chopper.

"I've had a hard time adjusting and the death of my family as been quite hard on me. It's increased my paranoia but I'm trying harder to be like my parents. They were good comrades." I lied. I don't know how dumb the doctor was but she looked like she was buying into it. I must have been a good actress because even Major Ivory looked like he felt a bit sorry for me.

"Can you tell me why you want to come?" She asked. Crap. I hadn't thought that out. I looked around.

"Because the last things my mother and father said to me were out of anger and I know that doing this would make them proud." I said. "They were so devoted to the base they would have wanted me to shape my act up." I said and Dr. Hills wrote something else down on her paper.

"Can you tell me your name?" She asked me. This was a trick question. I was sure of it. I remembered Jake telling me never to forsake myself. I looked around a bit and then sucked it up, begging for forgiveness.

"Ninety Three." I said. Everyone nodded approvingly. Dr. Hills wrote more things down. She then nodded at me and walked off. Major Ivory got close to me and grabbed my wrist.

"Listen, Ninety Three." He hissed in my ear. I wasn't exactly scared of him, he had a gun on him and I didn't want to push his buttons. He never talked to me like this. He always tried to mess with my head, but he was never stern like this. "This is a important mission and if you screw it up I'll have your head on a silver plate." He snapped. I nodded at him.

"I'll see you at five, Major." I said and nodded my head once more. When the three of them walked off I hoisted my out of work running legs onto the top of the bunk. I needed to stretch out.

In high school I used to run Jr. Varsity track team, and yes I said Junior varsity. You had to try out for both, but we all know that if you try out of junior varsity they always let you on. You could be as slow as a snail and if you tried out they'd still let you on. Now, luck for me, I was not slow as a snail but I most certainly was no cheetah and I knew that once I was done setting up tents I was going to have to make a run for it.

"What are you doing, Ninety Three?" My bunkmate asked me. She was like fifty years older than me and she was still annoying as hell.

"Sacrificing my soul to the devil." I snapped sarcastically. She actually looked a little shocked so I decided to take it back before she called Dr. Hills back here. "No, you moron, I'm stretching. What does it look like I'm doing?" I hissed againe and she looked relived.

"It kind of looks like you're trying to climb out the window. I mean, I wouldn't put it past you." She said and then apparently found it funny because she started to laugh.

"My patriotic acts of rebellion are not a laughing matter!" I hissed and apparently she found that funny too. This was why I hated people who were older than me. They always thought that they were better and they thought they knew more, when really, if she knew more then me, she'd be making signs too.

"You think you're clever?" She asked me and I shook my head.

"I actually don't think I'm all that clever. I'm just trying to do the right things. You know, keep the little bit of humanity I have left?"

"You're name?" She asked me. I froze. If we went by names here we'd get shot. I could die if she told. She must have seen the desperation on my face because she raised her hands in a cease-fire manner. "I'm not going to tell. I hear you whispering it every night." She said and I nodded. "I'm scared but I remember my name too." She whispered. "It's Mina." She said and I nodded. "Tell me your againe." She said and I nodded.

"Brooklyn." I whispered. Tears were coming to her eyes. Aw, crap, she was going to cry. I was so hard; I'd forgotten how to cry. I needed to be hard and strong to survive. Crying would get me killed in a second. They'd twist my words and make me want to kill myself. Sometimes thought that Mullion's Base was more dangerous then the zombies that overrun what was left of the world.

"You have such a pretty name." She whispered. I smirked a little.

"Yah, that's why I don't plan on forgetting it." I snapped and she lay back, looking into my deep blue eyes.

"You're going to run tomorrow, aren't you?" She asked. "For real this time, I mean." I hesitated, not sure if I could trust her but decided to go for it. What the hell? I looked around to make sure no one else was awake and the nodded. "I'll miss you here. You know, we might have been to scared to strike with you, but we sure as hell found it entertaining. You made them so angry, Brooklyn." She laughed. I chuckled.

"What can I say? I'm a rebel." I muttered. She smirked and then grabbed my wrist, putting her pill for the night in my hand.

"I know that you toss your pills. Maybe you should take one tonight so you don't dream." She said and I hesitated, but nodded, popping the pill. I could feel myself slipping into blackness. Mina knelt down close. "Do something with your life, Brooklyn. Don't run from it, face it head on." She said but I wasn't able to respond. I had slipped into pitch black.


	3. Do You Copy?

November 16th 2014

"Up, now, Ninety Three." I herd the major hiss. Man, Mina was right. He really did hate my guts. I sat up and stretched. "Let's get you into uniform." He Saud and threw a uniform at me. My mouth must have dropped. It was ugly and gray. Gray! Of all the colors they had to pick.

"Are you kidding me?" I snapped. "I'm not wearing that! I'll look as ugly as you do." I hissed and immediately regretted it when he grabbed my wrist and wrenched me up, out of bed.

"You'll put it on now and you'll carry this." He barked and threw a plastic card at me. I scanned it. It looked like an ID card. It said my birthday and the status of my relatives. It said what base I came from and had a picture of me on it, but most importantly my name. Brooklyn. Not ninety-three. It said my real name, Brooklyn Harker. I wouldn't mind carrying the ID; the uniform was a different story, though.

"No way am I wearing that. I thought you wanted pretty girls? No one can be pretty in that."

"You'll manage." He said and gave me a death glair. I sighed and thought of the deep, dark, and cool woods. I wouldn't have to look that this disgusting monster anymore. Between you and me? I'd rather take my chances in the zombie-infested world then spend another day here with this bastard.

I took the card and tried to wait until he left to strip down, but it was clear that he was not leaving so I took of the ratty base dress that all the girls had to wear and put on a pair of tight running shorts and a tank top under it. God knows how many others wore it before me.

"You'll be good won't you, Ninety Three?" He asked me and I bit back another remark.

"I'll behave." I said and he passed me something to put my hair up with. I obliged, trying my dark hair in a tight ponytail. He smiled coldly at me.

"Good, you had better. I would hate for something to happen to you, Ninety Three." He remarked and I rolled my eyes.

"No, sir. You would love nothing more than for something to happen to me because that would cut one problem off your list and you can keep everyone here ridiculously stupid, like you are." He laughed coldly.

I walked out to the helicopter and got in. The pilot was sitting in her seat already. "We can't tell you more about project Green Shoot but we need you there at Able being sweet." Dr. Hills told me. I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'll set the tents up. That's all I'm doing." I snapped and they exchanged glances and nodded at me. I looked back at the barracks and saw Mina looked at me. The helicopter took off and I saw her mouth good luck.

I'd need it.

I found it funny that I'd housed with her since I came but we had never talked and she'd always annoyed the heck out of me. If this had never happened and she was seventeen years younger, she and I could have gone to the movies together.

"You'd better strap in, Ninety Seven." She said and I obliged. "I'm Amanda. Amanda Keller, the pilot from New Canton. You have a good base. They traded us lots of technology for this flight for you. We usually don't associate with Able. Sworn enemies, but they don't know it's me and I'm just dropping you off and picking you up." She liked to talk. I didn't really want to talk with her, but decided not to be rude. Amanda put on her headset. "Jolly Alpha Five Niner, copter from Mullion's Base coming with supplies. Heading up north coming at seven miles per hour, estimated time of landing is seven thirty. Do you copy, Able Township? Over.' She asked. I picked up my own headset. There were static crackles and then a man's voice came in on the other end.

"Yup. You're good to come in whenever, Mullion's Base and thanks for this." I looked over at Amanda.

"Can I try?" I asked and she nodded.

"Sure, just hold that and talk." She said and I did.

"Ummm...Chopper to Able Town." I said.

"I read you...um...Jolly Alpha Five Niner. What's up?" The man said. Able Township was much different then Mullion's Base. I didn't need to go there to see that.

"Just testing the headsets, Able Township." I said happily. "And I'm really board. Amanda's kind of being annoying." I muttered. The man on the other end laughed a little.

"You're from Mullion's Base?" He asked. "They're usually so much more...uptight."

"Unfortunately so. Over."

"Over?"

"You know like, go on it's your turn?" I said and the man didn't talk for a while. "Don't feel bad. I just herd the piolt say it. I didn't knew what it ment before this either." I said.

"Yah, sorry. I...um...knew that." The man said and Amanda took the headset from me.

"They are not to chat with. They are for communication purposes." She said and I smirked.

"Sorry, Miss Amanda." I said. It was silent for the rest of the ride or at least until Amanda requested to land.

"Able Township, this is Jolly Alpha Five Niner, requesting permission to land. We are coming from up west, heading in at seven miles per hour with supplies and two persons. Estimated arrival time is in ten minutes." She said. "Do you read me, Able Township, I am requesting permission to land." She said. I put my ear set on.

"Able Township, got that...um...I mean roger that...wait, no...oh great, just come on down." I herd the man say. Amanda rolled her eyes.

"They are so unorganized and that Sam is really the pits for a communicator." Amanda said to me. I didn't want to trash talk Sam, or Able for that matter. It seemed a lot nicer than Mullion's Base and Sam seemed nice.

"I could say the same for New Canton, but I'll not act like I'm in kindergarten." I snapped. Amanda looked a bit shocked by my hostile demure but dropped the topic. I felt bad the second that I snapped at her. She's put up with my antics and besides; she let me use the cool headset. Amanda had been nothing but nice to me and I had just flipped out at her for her opinion.

"Sorry, Amanda. I just can't stand it when we people don't get along. I mean, we're all that we have left, if that makes sense." I said and she shrugged.

"I guess." She said and then after a minute she looked at me againe. "I don't suppose you can tell me what you're going to do in there." She asked. "What's Project Green Shoot." She asked. I didn't want to tell her that I didn't even know so I ignored her. "I mean I'm sorry if it's confidential and all, but I herd them talking to you when you got on." She said and I nodded.

"Sorry, Amanda. Believe me, protocol or not I'd tell you if I knew, but I don't." I admitted. She shrugged and started to talk about the weather and how pretty the trees were." I shrugged her chatter off and zoned out. I must have zoned out and fell asleep because the next thing I know I opened my eyes and it was dark. Amanda was talking on her radio.

"This is Jolly Alpha Five Niner requesting permission to land at Able Town. Cargo of-"

"Just come in, Jolly Alpha." The man, I presumed to be Sam, said. Amanda rolled her eyes. I cracked a smile at that.

"Can I try againe?" I asked. Amanda nodded.

"Sure, ask if we can start to head down." She said.

"This is Jolly Alpha Five Niner. Hey againe." I said and Amanda looked exasperated with me.

"Hey, Jolly Alpha Five Niner. Over. See, I got it right this time." The man said and I laughed.

"Jolly Alpha Five Niner, requesting permission to come down." I said. I thin the man was humoring me by now. The radio cracked a little.

"Sure thing, Jolly Alpha." I looked over at Amanda. She was glancing out the window.

"Able Township, do you have a rocket launcher?" She asked. I looked out the window and traced her glance to the cause of her nervous demure. I could see a rocket heading at us.

"I wish! No, why?"

"We're being shot at!" Amanda exclaimed. "Jolly Alpha Five Niner, to Able Township, we have a Code Three heading at us from up south! We've been hit!" She screamed. I felt a lurch jerk me forward. I could hear someone screaming and I assumed it to be myself, as Amanda was to calm and Sam probably didn't care. The seatbelt snapped my back and I could feel a rib snap. I screamed againe. I was scared now.

"Amanda!" I yelled, but she was to busy talking to loser/nice/geek radio guy on the other end of the headset.

"We're heading down fast, Able Township, at a speed of ten miles per hour! Mayday! Mayday!" Amanda said, much more calmly than I would have been able to. I could barley control myself now. I wanted to curl up and just die, but my will to live was stronger than my fear of the situation and I knew my biggest concern right now was the fact that geek/nice/loser Sam probably didn't know what Amanda was saying. I grabbed her headset from her.

"Just fly! I'll talk." I snapped. She nodded. I took a deep breath. "Able Township, this is the chopper from Mullion's Base. Do you copy?" I asked. "Who fired the rocket?" I asked. I was going to strangle them with my bare hands.

"I have no idea! I mean...can you land?" The man asked againe. I bit back a sarcastic response. Yes, of course we can land, we just got hit. Landing should no problem. I thought. "Jolly Alpha? Are you still there?" He asked.

"No, I hung up as the plain was crashing." I hissed. "Of course I'm still here!"

"Ok, ok, ok, calm down." Sam said. "Jump. Please, just jump out of the copter! You can use a parachute. You're not that high up, just jump!" He pleaded with me. I ignored him. I tried to take the first part of his advice, about calming down, but the plain was going down fast. I tried to breath easy and slow I was just starting to calm down when I felt another lurch pressing the seatbelt up against my wounded chest, aggravating my fractured rib. I felt hot tears of frustration dripping from my eyes and suddenly I felt an impact and I knew that we hit the ground.

I felt my shoulder crack when I hit the ground. I didn't think it was broken, but it sure as hell hurt. My vision was glassed over with tears and everything was a blur. I felt a heat starting to surround me. At first it was warm and comforting and then it was excruciating and burning my skin. I franticly tried to undo the seatbelt but it was jammed. I screamed out and grabbed the headset.

"Jolly Alpha Five Niner to Able Township!" I cried through tears. "Do you copy? Can you read me? Are you still there? Answer me damn it!" I yelled and tried to turn off of my hurt shoulder but I was stuck. I herd a crackle of static on the headset and my heart started to beat faster.

"I'm right here, Five Niner. Are you ok?" Sam asked. I was really starting to hate him.

"No! I'm not ok! I'm stuck in here and it's burning and I can't see Amanda and I'm going to die and-"

"Calm down. You're going to be ok. Just...wait...oh...um...can you get out of the copter?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No, I'm stuck in here. My seatbelt." I cried then my eye was caught to the rear view mirror that apparently was not only in cars but in helicopters too. I saw a survival pack. A knife. They must have a Swiss army knife. I thought and took a deep breath. "Ok, Able, I'm going to be disconnected for a few minutes. Just stay there. Don't leave." I begged and threw the headset as far as I could out the window. I'd need it later and I couldn't get it if it was burned.

I took another deep breath. I wanted to help Amanda, but I knew that I couldn't. She was under mound of debris by now. She must have been. Panic seized me. I was going to die. The fire was creeping up on me. I started to scream and cry, thrashing about desperately.

"Let me out of here! Let me out!" I screamed and then remembered Jake's number one survival rule. Stay calm and think about the situation. I took a deep breath and shifted the weight off of my shoulder and onto my back. The pain was dull now and I couldn't feel my shoulder or chest. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them I tried to stay calm.

I could do this. The fire was a safe distance, but I only had a few minutes before it spread. I reached in back of me and grabbed the survival pack and fingered through it until I got the knife. Then I threw the pack out of the shattered window and cut the belt, sawing through the fabric until I could snap it with my hands. I threw myself at the door and tried to get it open, but it wouldn't budge. I screamed one more time and started to kick at the closed door. It wouldn't budge. I looked up at the half broken window that I'd thrown the things out of.

I almost rolled my eyes. Oh my god, I really didn't want to do that. This could not get worse." I thought and pushed my bare hands through the glass, trying not to scream and cry. I laid my cut and bleeding hands on the edge of the helicopter and hauled my weight onto the roof. I rolled myself off of the roof and onto the ground, crawling over to the headset. I weakly stood up, but tumbled down soon after standing. Tears had not stopped coming, as hard as I tried they wouldn't stop. I pulled myself over to the headset.

"This is Able Township to Jolly Five Niner. Do you copy? Over." Sam asked. I grabbed the headset.

"I read you! I read you! This is Brooklyn from Mullion's Base! Help me!" I screamed. Sam sighed.

"They're not answering. Their equipment must be fried." He said. Great. Just sensational. I couldn't believe this. This was horrible. I took a couple of deep breaths and grabbed the headset and the bag and used a rock to sit on.

"This is Sam Yao from Able Township. Are their any survivors? Oh no, wait...stupid question. Oh my god, I'm-I'm just a radio operator. I don't know how to handle this stuff." He said. I raised a hand to my head. Man, could I use a pill now. Sam took a deep breath.

"Ok, if there is anyone there, you've come down in a nest of hostiles." He said. I swore. Sensational. I needed to get out of here. I stood up. Ok, calm down, Brooklyn. I thought and looked around. "They've heard the noise and they're coming." Sam said. My eyes widened. I was going to die. I was scared and I was going to die.

"There are thirty." Sam said. "No wait, forty. Oh wait...sorry...crap your only safe path is twords out town and the tower. If there is anyone alive, just run!" Sam exclaimed. I looked around at my options. I didn't have many. I took a deep breath and ignored the stabbing pain in my shoulder and my ribs. I ran as fast as I could towards the not really very high tower that Sam was talking about. I could hear the zombies gaining on me. The radio crackled a little. I stopped running. I figured I was far enough ahead.

"Sam! Can you hear me, Able!" I screamed.

"Ok, running person. If you can hear me. Well, you're doing great." Sam said and I swore. "Just keep going. Ok? Now, I'm going to say this and it's not going to come out right. I've been trying to think of another way to say it, but I can't. There is a small army of zombies behind you and to the east of the trees so if you can hear me head to the right...oh, man. She can hear me...ok, ok. I can keep you safe. It's cool I can get you here." Sam said and then I herd another voice starting to argue with Sam about something.

"No, we can't ask her that. What if she's hurt?" I heard Sam say then I herd rustling of papers and a new voice came on.

"This is Dr. Myers. I'm the medic here at Able. I'm sorry to ask you this, but you're going to be heading past the hospital. I need you to pick up some medical things when you get there." She said. I swore. No way. No way was I going to listen to some new doctor who would be just like Dr. Hills.

I hate doctors.

"It's not safe for her there! You know what happened to Alice!" He exclaimed and they argued for a few minutes.

Sam was not very good at arguing.

I stopped. I couldn't go any longer. My legs were killing and I felt like I was going to faint. This was the one time in the last few months that I felt completely void of hope. I couldn't run like this! I could barley run Jr. Varsity! How was I supposed to do this?

"Look, you should be heading to the hospital. I don't mean to be cold, but if you don't have anything when you get here we can't let you in." She said. My heart froze. I was only thinking one thing.

Oh, isn't this just great?

"God damn it! God damn it! God damn it!" I screamed. "I hate you Dr. Myers!" I screamed. "I hate you so god damn much that-" The voice on my radio came in. I sure hope she didn't hear that.

"Runner? Can you hear me, Runner?" Sam asked and I looked up. My head was hurting and I grabbed onto a tree.

Let the goddamn zombies get me. Maybe it would just be better for everyone. I thought.

"Runner, come on! They're going to get you!" Sam yelled and I looked behind me, swore and speed up as fast as I could. I got to the hospital. Trust me did I want to jump for joy when I saw that door. I ran up to it, pounding, for a foolish second thinking that someone would open it. I looked behind me at the zombies. They were moving at a slow shuffle, but they were moving. I opened the door and barged in, almost tripping over a pair of crutches. I franticly started throwing things around and searching for something that would buy me into Able. I needed somewhere to stay.

"What do I grab?" I thought out loud and then decided that it wasn't too important what I grabbed. Maybe if Able was really as crappy as they all say they'd just let me in with some stuff. I grabbed two first aid kits and then ran into another room and filled the bag with bottles in yellow jars. Prescription meds should get me in. I ran up the stairs and into a couple of rooms nothing else. Sam's voice soon filled my ear. I wasn't sure yet if this was a good thing or a bad thing. I was leaning towards good, though. It was comforting to hear a voice that I knew.

"You're making great time." He said. "No broken legs, I'm assuming." He said and then paused. "Hey, can I call you Runner Five?" He asked. "Really because I don't know your name and we just lost a runner in that very same hospital." I froze.

Great Sam thanks for telling me that. I totally needed to know that. I thought sarcastically and then to make matters worse he started to babble about this smart, funny, and all around angel of a runner who died in the same hospital and apparently had a thing with Sam. Great, now I have to listen to his sob story. I wanted to yell at him to shut up but three things stopped me. First; that wouldn't have been very nice and part of me felt bad for Sam. Two; that would not have gotten me into Able and three; my headset was broken and I couldn't have if I'd wanted too. Sam proceeded to explain to me about how important the runners were and how I might not make it back alive.

"Ok, pace is very good but there is a swarm in the parking lot and...well...yah...you get the idea. Just head right and to the second floor." Sam said and I followed his instructions. "Hey, listen, if you head along the top floor of the hospital you should be able to exit through the back." He said. "And if you see anything interesting, you can pick it up. We sent Alice, she was Runner Five before you, in there looking for something that doc was interested in, so if you see anything cool, pick it up." Sam said cheerfully. He seemed to be over his moment of weakness. I smiled. That was good.

I didn't know why but I now liked Sam. His voice kept me calmer and kind of gave me a reason to keep going, like a goal. I breathed and ran through the corridor. Suddenly the lace to my shoes came undone and sent me sprawling down the stairs. I slammed my head against a wall. It left me dazed for a few seconds. He said and I stood up and looked around, kicking my shoes off. The laces were frayed and they would keep coming undone.

As I was looking down at me feet I noticed that there was something at my foot. I kicked it. It was a box. It looked official. I shrugged and picked it up. Doctors loved boxes and if this was what it took to get shelter for a while then so help me god I'd bring it.

"Hey! I got you on camera, Runner Five. I mean, you're kind of blurry, but still I can see you." He said. I smiled a little. I really wished that the headset was working. "What's that you got there?" Sam asked. Then he asked the doctor to come and look at what I had. She seemed to be interested in it. She told me that the file was worth my life.

Sensational. Now I'm running through an abandoned hospital with no shoes and a broken headset and a bulging backpack to some crappy little town in the middle of nowhere. Could it get worse?

"Oh, no, this is what happened before...to Alice...they're following you, Runner Five. The swarm, oh great...you're going to die." He said. Could it get worse?

Apparently so. I could be running through a zombie infested forest with no shoes and a broken headset and a bulging backpack to some crappy little town in the middle of nowhere and being chassed by a zombie runner with a headset names Alice, who was according to Sam, fast amazing charming, pretty, and smart. Did I say fast?

"Runner Five, I'm sending people out to meet you." Sam said. My heart was pounding. I readjusted the bag on my shoulders and, as that goddamn doctor said, I put on a burst of speed.

She really annoyed me. I thought, but then againe, that's not saying much. A lot of people annoy me. Mostly all doctors annoy me. I thought. She reminded me of Dr. Hills and I couldn't stand Dr. Hills. I started to wonder if they learned to be manipulative in medical school.

"Five, they're gaining on you. Run!" Sam yelled. I could see the town. No way was I giving up now. I pushed myself a little farther, not thinking about the blisters that had started to form on my feet or the fact that my head was throbbing with pain. I tried to forget about my shoulders and my chest. My headset clicked a little.

"Runner Five?" I herd a new voice asked. I didn't like this one either. "I'm Runner Seven. We're coming out with guns to meet you." I heard him say. I didn't care about Runner Seven and his gins or Dr. Myers and her box. All I cared about right now was that town. Getting to the town and maybe Sam who's voice had gotten sadder and weaker. I felt ad for him. I knew the feeling. "I can't watch her die like this. I can't watch this.."

"Sam, she wouldn't have wanted to live like this." Bullshit. The was something that Dr. Hills would have said. I just lost all respect for her. The tiny little shard of respect I had I lost. She can just shut her mouth because she doesn't know what it's like. I kept thinking about Jake and I felt bad for Sam. Not bad enough to become a walking meal for his girlfriend. I thought and propelled ahead a little.

"Raise the gates!" I herd Sam yell over the headset and I ran through the open gates. There was a crowd of people in there. I was the gossip of the day. I guess not much changes with people. I took a class in group behavior. People clumped together for different reasons. They made sense too, but right now I was too exhausted to think of them. I collapsed on the ground, gasping for air. Everyone got up really close, talking. Dr. Myers ran over.

"Let her breath! Let her breath! Don't get to close!" She yelled. Then she turned to me. "Don't stand. I'll get someone to help you over to the hospital building. I'll need to make sure that you're not bit. Stay calm, Five. Just calm down." She said and just to piss her off I stood up shakily on my feet. I saw Sam walking over. Dr. Myers gently took my wrist. "Sam, can you help her over to-"

"I don't need help." I snapped. Yah, I played it cool for about three seconds and maybe two and a third of those three seconds were filled with gloating. The rest of it was filled with an agonizing pain that shot through my entire body and I grabbed at whoever was standing next to me. My head had started to kill and my throat had started to throb. I pushed the man I had grabbed onto away and fell to the ground, using one hand to hold myself up. Dr. Myers knelt down.

"Easy, easy, Runner Five." She said and I looked around at everyone.

"Come, on guys, you herd her." Sam said. "She needs room. Give her room." Sam said and I didn't need room though, I don't think it would have made a difference because the last thing I remember was being lifted up and brought to the hospital house. Then I remember Dr. Myers laying a hand on my forehead.

"She's started to spike a fever of one hundred twenty." The doctor said. No shit. Aren't you a genius? How can you tell? By touching my forehead? I'm pretty sure my baby brother could have done that. I thought ruefully.

"Is she...you, know...bit." Sam asked. Dr. Myers shook her head. Sam looked relived. I was just glad that someone cared what happened to me. Yah, Sam was probably the only one I don't even know if her cared all that much.

"She's not bit, but she will die if we can't get the fever to die down." Dr. Myers said againe. Oh, another deep observation however did you know that? Is it the fact that you went to medical school or is it the fact that everyone knows that you can die from a high fever? I thought and tried to block out the fear rising in my chest. I might die. I was going to die. "The fever is caused by her wounds and probably immense stress. It should be fairly easy to lower." Dr. Myers said and I wished I could have laughed at her in her face. How does a broken rib and a cracked shoulder blade make for a fever? I could see that Sam had knelt down to my level. I hated for people to see me weak.

"It's going to be ok, Five." He promised. Liar.

Strike one.

"Dr. Myers is really, really, really good at her job and she's nice too."

Strike two.

"We're going to get you fixed up good as new." He said to me and I nodded, weakly. I didn't want to say strike three. I wanted it to be true so bad so I tried my best just too block out any doubt in my mind that it might not be true.

"Sam..." I chocked out.

"What's wrong?"

"My papers..." I said. "My bag..."

"It's all here. Just calm down now. You're here at Able Township. You're safe and you did pretty good work today. You brought in some good supplies and the doctor is thrilled with that box." Sam said and I could start to feel my eyes drooping. I didn't know if Able was going to murder me in my sleep, but right now I was so tired, it didn't matter if they took an axe to my head. Anything was better than having to get up and run more, which is what I would have had to do if they had sent me away. The only one I really thank here, is Sam. He sat down next to me.

"What.." I muttered. "Project Green Shoot...tents...Amanda..." I trialed off, remembering the pilot that couldn't have possibly escaped from the crash. She was dead. I might have been able to help her but she was dead. Sam took my black binder with my diary papers in it. I should have known better than to think that they would just trust me. I should have known better.

"Can I look?" He asked. Wait? Asking my permission? What? I nodded. He opened it up and started to read. I could hear him gasp a little at my description of the base. Good. I thought. People deserve to know the truth. I thought as I lost consciousness. I was safe here.

Yah, right as long as they kept that doctor a safe distance.


	4. Tear Fairy

November 17th 2014

When I woke up the pain had subsided. At least that's what I tried to tell myself. My head was still hurting a little and my shoulder had a dull throbbing pain, but I was ok. My vision was a little blurred, but I could see enough to know I was in a hospital. Well, a house with beds and medicine cabinets.

"Hey!" I herd a voice say. My eyes focused on the smiling face of Sam Yao. Trust me, waking up to his voice was three hundred times better than wakeup belles or that Dr. Myers. "You're awake. You had me worried for some time there, Five. Doctor said you had a fever."

"Doctor don't know anything." I muttered and then slowly realized the apparent pain that I was in. My head was killing. "What happened?" Sam's face creased with worry.

"You don't remember?" He asked. No, idiot. I forgot being chased through an abandoned hospital with bare feet all for some box and admission to a crappy little town in the middle of nowhere. I didn't say that to Sam.

"No, I remember, I just want to know what happened when I was out." I said and he nodded.

"Well, your fever spiked a little and Janine thought you were bit She wanted to throw you out but I told her that- Forget it. Just forget it. Let's not do this now. Janine was just doing her job." Sam said and passed me four pills. My blood froze. Pills. I hated white pills. God know what they would do to you. Jake was a rebel but he was hooked on the pills. Jake couldn't stop. He took his and mine. I shuddered and gingerly looked at them.

"Don't make me, Sam." I said quietly.

"Dr. Myers said that they'd keep your fever down." Sam said and I blinked.

"No, Sam, please." I said louder. "Don't make me." I begged. What if they were poison? What if they tried to kill me? What happened if they put me to sleep and I dreamed? Sam looked shocked. I guess this wasn't the wisecracking and sarcastic girl he'd herd on the headset.

"Ok, ok, stay calm. I'm not going to make you." He said.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have ran...She was in there...I could have saved her..." I muttered. Dr. Myers walked over and sat down next to me. Wonderful.

"You're doing better, Five." She said then she looked at Sam. "Did you give her the pills, Sam?" She asked. "She needs to-"

"Don't go there, doc." He said.

"The wounds aren't that bad. Your rib is cracked and your shoulder is fractured, but we got the fever down and the concussion is minor." She assured me. Yah, assuring. She sucked at assuring. Her and Sam. Small army of zombies. Come on, Sam. "We also called your base. They said that-" My eyes widened. With Amanda dead New Canton would blame me and my base would have war with New Canton. Major Ivory was going to have my head on a silver plate. He was going to kill me if New Canton had war with Mullion's Base.

"No! Please don't send for my base. Please, please." I begged and tried to sit up. My chest was killing. Sam pushed me back gently.

"Calm down, Runner Five. Stay calm. We're not going to do anything if you don't want us to. You're safe here. Just relax." He soothed. Safe? I didn't know the meaning of the word. I never had and I never will.

"Why don't you want us to call your base?" Dr. Myers asked me.

"Brooklyn. Not Ninty Three. Not Five..." I muttered. I didn't want to have another number. The door opened.

"Sam?" A new voice called. I turned to see who it was but my eyes were to glassed over with tears of frustration and fear. Sam turned around. He sounded annoyed.

"What is it, Janine?" He snapped.

"Ask her where she's from. We need to-" The women protested.

"We already know where she's from, Janine. Mullion's Base." Sam snapped. "Also, she's in shock and I don't want to stress her out farther."

"I'm sorry, Sam, but her stress level is not my concern right now." The women said and walked over. "Miss? I need-"

"Runner Five." Sam said. "We're calling her Runner Five. The women rolled her eyes and looked at me.

"Runner Five, I'm going to need to see a identification if I'm going to let you stay." The women, Janine said. Sam cut her off.

"You can't throw her out becase she doesn't carry a ID! That's not human, Janine. We need to take care of each other. You always say it yourself." Sam said.

Thank you, Sam. I hate you, Janine. The only reason you're not at the top of my list is because Dr. Myers is there right now.

"Sam, that's not what I ment. Us here at Able need to take care of each other." She said. "And besides. I only said that to get you to stop attempting to use all of our power on those blasted X-Box games." She snapped.

"I was not using all of our power! I was attempting to bring us together as a community and keep us getting along and running, like Runner Five here!"

"Sam's right. Runner Five did good work today. She risked her life following orders and she got us the CDC Box. " Ok, Dr. Myers. Maybe I don't hate you as much as Janine.

"Do you have a identification card?" Janine asked me. I thought franticly, trying to remember and then I did. The plastic card with my name. Brooklyn.

"Yes, it's in my uniform." I said and pushed the blankets off of myself. I was suspired at how cold it was. I mean, I knew it was November, but still. I'd never had time to worry about being cold. "Where is my uniform?" I asked. Major Ivory is going to murder me in my sleep. No, take that back. He's make an example of me. He'd do it in front of the entire base.

"It's right here." Sam said and he passed me the ripped uniform. Did I really show up wearing that? I must have looked like something out of Dawn of The Dead. I thought and then quickly took it back.

I groped through the pockets desperately, looking for the plastic card. Crap. I couldn't find it. It must have fallen out. Able was going to make me leave or kill me or worse. Call my base.

"I can't find it, but I swear that I'm not trying to hurt you. My name is Brooklyn Harker and I hate it at Mullion's Base. I'd never hurt another human for the base. I swear that-"

"Calm down, Five." Dr. Myers said. "We'll radio the base and see when-" Oh my god, was she not just here for the last hour? Did we not just go over this like three times? Was she an idiot?

Yes. Most doctors were.

"You can't make me go back. I've come to far..." I pleaded, but in a moment of horror, I realized that Sam might feel bad for me, but no one else here even cared. Dr. Myers was pure evil and Janine, well, I didn't know about her yet. I calmed myself down and started to talk slower and in my normal tone. "Look, you don't know what it's like at my base. You can throw me out of here, kill me, feed me to the zombies, I don't care, just don't' call my base." I looked over at Sam and tried to make my eyes bigger like I did with Jake when I tried to get him to stop popping those pills they gave us. He was an addict. "Sam?"

"Well, you can't stay here at Able." Janine said.

"Yes she can." Sam piped up. I said I silent thanks. "She got Dr. Myers that box and all of that supplies. You can't just throw her out againe!" Any other day I would have said 'screw you' and walked out myself, but I knew that right now, in my condition, I wouldn't make it half a mile. He looked down at me. "She could run." He said. I looked up. "She can really be the new Runner Five. She's fast. Did you see her work too? That was good, solid, work today, Janine. We can't mourn Alice forever." He said and looked down at the ground. Dr. Myers and Janine exchanged glances.

"It could work." Janine said. "I suppose if you really wanted to stay here. I mean, everyone needs to earn their keep and if your base doesn't want you and you don't want to go back then you might just be able to be a runner." My head was swimming. What did I just get myself into? What did Sam just get me into? I scolded myself. Sam just saved me.

"Ok." Dr. Myers said. I threw my arms around Sam.

"Thank you..." I muttered into his ear, trying not to cry againe. "People like you are the reason I have hope for humanity."

"Welcome to Able Township, Runner Five!" Sam exclaimed. I let go of him my chest was hurting and this time it wasn't my ribs. It was a sinking feeling in my stomach. Yah, yah, I know I hated my base, but it still hurt to know that they wouldn't send someone to get me. It hurt to know that I'd never see it againe. I wasn't exactly going to miss it, but it hurt, if that makes any sense.

"Tomorrow Runner Seven can show you the town. Right now though, you need to get some sleep." Sam said and passed Dr. Myers the pills. I grabbed his wrist and took a deep breath. My hand was shaking. He turned around.

"What do the pills do?" I asked. I needed to sleep badly. I changed my mind. If I was going to be doing more running like that then sleep was a must have and I wasn't going to get any with my head.

"They're painkillers." Sam said. "They'll...umm...kill the pain. You know." He said. Dr. Myers passed them to me againe.

"They'll take the fever down." She said to me and I looked over at Sam. I don't know what it was, but I liked Sam. He was funny and he was sweet. Not at all like Dr. Myers. Certainly not like anyone in my base. I mean, I didn't really know Janine, I guess she was just trying to keep her town safe.

Sam nodded at me to take the pills I breathed out and popped them and then drank some water that Dr. Myers handed me. Unfortunately, Sam was right. All they did was kill the pain so I lay there, trying to sleep.

"I'll be around the hospital if you need anything." Dr. Myers said. I nodded. "Do you need anything?"

For you to get the hell out.

"No, thank you." I said and lay back. She sat down on a chair next to me. Sam and Janine had left.

"Are you sure?"

Get the hell out and leave me alone.

"I'm fine thank you." I said. She sighed.

"You know, it's hard being a doctor." She said and I almost rolled my eyes.

"It's hard being anything nowadays." I said.

"Listen, what did you say your name was?" She asked.

"Brooklyn Harker." I said.

"It's nice to meet you, Brooklyn. Why did you say you were here?" She asked.

"Tents." I said. I was toying with the idea of telling her about Green Shoot but decided against it. I'd tell Sam later. Not her. Never her. I sat up. Jesus, did it kill. "Do you have liquor?" I asked. I hated to socialize with her, but I hadn't drunk in ages. She looked around.

"Most certainly not. Drinking is not acceptable here. We need everyone sober." Ok, I hated her. She raised an eyebrow at me. I had issues with authority figures. I kind of had issues with everyone who told me what to do. Like Dr. Myers.

"I'll get you some." I herd a voice say. "My mother and father are both builders. They get paid with alcohol sometimes. I can get you a bottle if you'd like." I sat up. Dr. Myers wasn't here. It was a little boy. He was standing by my bed. The gesture touched me.

"Yah thanks. That would be great. Normally I'd never take what people offer but-"

"It's ok. I don't mind." He said. I smiled. He did to. He sat down on my bed. "My mom and dad say I'm going to get better, but I know they're lying." He said. My heart started to shatter into one million little pieces. This was Aidan all over againe.

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm sure you'll get better." I said and touched his forehead. It was burning up.

"I was only bit a coupe of hours ago. They say they'll have to send me away in a while. I'm not scared though." He said. It was silent for a little. He started to cough. "So, what's wrong with you?" He asked. I took a deep breath.

"I fell from the sky." I said and the boy's eyes widened.

"Really?" He asked and I nodded. Aidan always liked stories, even though he was only two. "Are you like a princess?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"Not at all." I said. "I'm a..." I had no idea what to say. Tears had started to form in my eyes. I wasn't thinking.

"I'm a tear fairy." I blurted. Great. I shouldn't have talked to him. I should have ignored him or said no thank you. Now I was blurting out stories about tears and fairies. This was horrible.

"What's a tear fairy?"

Good question because I really don't know either.

"It's a fairy that...umm...makes sure people don't cry to hard." I said. Sensational explanation. I thought sarcastically. The boy yawned and stood up.

"My infection is low grade. I'm not changing fast. Sometimes I wish it would just be done with." He said and walked back to his bed. I forced myself out of my own bed and, with shaky knees I stood up at walked over to his. I fell once and the little boy laughed. If it was anyone else I would have murdered them but that little boy was so innocent and so sweet. I laughed along with him. He started to cough and wheeze.

"Take it easy." I whispered. "Take it easy." He looked up.

"W-W-What's your name? Who are you?"

"My name is Brooklyn." I said and brushed some hair out of his eyes. "Brooklyn Harker." He smiled.

"That doesn't sound like a fairy name." He challenged weakly. He was right. I should have said Meadow or Dewdrop or even Tinkerbelle.

"I don't know. That's part of the reason they kicked me out of my castle." I snapped a little. He gasped.

"They kicked you out!" He exclaimed, horrified. He couldn't have been more than seven. I nodded, a twinge of annoyance suddenly rising in my chest. I hated Mullion's Base. I hated them for not caring, grabbed I didn't make it easy to care about, but still.

"They sure did!" I gushed, calmly, trying to get the little boy to smile. "Let me tell you, I was different. The people in the castle wanted to...umm...I...er..." I had no idea what to say next. He seemed to be liking the story, but I didn't know what to say. "Well, I'm here, now, and I'm staying." I whispered. The little boy looked up at me.

"Are you really going to stay?" He asked me. I nodded. "You should work in the school. You're really nice." He said. "And good at telling stories." Crap. He knew it was a story. Well, that shows how good I am.

"No." I said looking up at the ceiling. "I'm a runner." I said. "Runner Five." I finished and after sitting with the little boy for a little I stood up. This time walking was easier. I looked at the little boy lying in the bed and quickly turned away.

"Brooklyn?" He called. I turned around. "Please go to my parents and make sure that they don't cry to hard when I'm gone. I know they made you leave the castle and all, but still..." He yawned. I nodded and ran out. I felt like a coward.

I wasn't going to spend another second in this hospital, so help me god, let Dr. Myers be annoying. I thought and started out the door. I walked down the street of Able and looked around. It was late or early, I didn't know, but I did know that I just wanted out of that hospital. I walked over to a small building and looked at the barbed wire around it. There was barbed wire around the whole town, but it was also around this building. I knew how to climb barbed wire. I'd done it before at Mullion's Base. Easy.

"Five?" I herd a voice say. I lost my balance and came tumbling down. "Oh god! I'm so sorry! I had no idea. Are you ok?" Sam asked me, rushing over. He grabbing my arm and helping me up. I shook him off.

"Yah, yah." I muttered. "I'm fine." I said, wipping away the tears.

"Jesus, your crying. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Sam, I'm fine. Really." I said. "And I'm not crying."

"It's ok to-"

"I'm not!" I hissed. My voice dropped. "Look, Sam, I'm sorry. I just met this little boy and- Why does this have to be our world?" I asked.

"I don't know, Five and I don't think anyone ever will. I wonder sometimes though. You know about deep things like that." Sam said. Pause. Awkward silence "You know, this is the Comms. Shack...office...wait..." I rolled my eyes and smiled a bit.

"Shack, Sam. Shack." I said and we both laughed a little. I leaned my head down. "Can I stay in there for the night?" I asked. "I just don't want to stay in that place anymore." I said and Sam nodded and went to undo the door.

"Sure. "

"I told him I was a fairy. He was really smart. He knew I was lying." I said and Sam nodded. "Then he told me that if I was really a fairy I would visit his parents wen he was gone and make sure they didn't cry to hard."

"Don't worry now, Five. There is nothing you can do. Just get some rest." He said and he pulled a chair out for me. "I'll see what I can do about finding you barracks later."

"Thanks, Sam." I yawned. Funny. I thought. How you could have only known someone for such a short period of time and already feel so safe with them and like I'd known them for a life time? I think it was Sam. He was easy to talk to and understanding. I already trusted him and I never trusted anyone. How could that be? I wondered and lay my head against the chair. Sam had left. I tried to sleep when there was a knock on the door. I opened it. Sam stood there.

"Wait, sorry. Everyone is going to get really mad if I let you stay in the Comms shack alone. I'll stay here to." He said. I nodded.

"You can have the chair." I said and got up, and lay down on the ground.

"You sure? I mean you-"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I'll be fine. I sleep like this all the time at my base." I said, the last part was a lie, but I didn't know if that was my pride talking or the real me. I was scared to sleep. I lay awake until I realized Sam was watching me. "I just wanted somewhere to stay that wasn't full of dead people. I can relocate if you don't want me near your secrets." I snapped.

"Oh, that, ...right...umm...don't tell Janine, but I actually don't mind." Sam said. I looked up. "I mean I know Janine says 'always have your guard up' but, you know, you don't exactly seem like a threat. You seem...a little lost...but you got the chopper crashed and you ran out and you risked your life for the box. I mean, if you are a traitor, you know, you seem like a nice one." Sam said and I laughed, propping my head up with my arm.

"Is there such thing?" I asked. Sam laughed at himself.

"I have no idea." He said and I leaned back, sighing and not really trying to go to sleep. If anything I was trying to stay awake. Maybe Dr. Hills wasn't to far off on the whole paranoia thing.

"You know, I won't let them throw out. You can sleep." Sam said and went back to my sitting position so I could look him in the eyes. He went on. I could tell that Sam liked to talk. "They always tell us that we're still human, especially Janine, yet she's willing to throw you out, Five? It just doesn't make sense. Janine's like...really...umm...how do I put this lightly...oh, what the hell I'm just going to say it, you won't tell, Five, she's annoying sometimes." Sam finished, after looking around. "Got to make sure she doesn't make the place wired."

"So, your ok with me?" I asked Sam. He shrugged.

"I mean you're going to have to earn your keep, Five. We all do, but yah, sure, if you do more running like today, I'm cool with it." Sam said. "Everyone else will warm up to you. Just try to calm down now. Seeing things like that little boy is hard. Damn, that poor little boy, but we can't just give up. You had a hard day, try to calm down a little." Sam said and I leaned back, breathing and smirking to myself.

I couldn't wait to see Dr. Myers and the look on her face when she sees that I spent the night in the Comms shack with all the computers and all the secrets. She was going to flip out.

Good. I hope she has a heart attack.


	5. Evil

November 18th 2014

I woke up to the sound of screaming. "No! No! Please, no! I didn't mean to! She's not dead! Oh, god, don't hurt me! NO! Jake! I'm so sorry, DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"Runner Five! Runner Five! Come on, wake up!" Sam said and shook my lightly. I bolted upright in a cold sweat.

"No, he's dead...they're all dead...It's my fault...Project Green Shoot...I don't know...those god damn pills..." I sobbed.

"Ok, ok, just calm down. Uh god, what am I supposed to do? Crap...DR. MYERS!" He yelled. I grabbed his shirt, sobbing.

"No! No! I'm going to die..."

"It's ok, it's ok. You're ok..." He soothed. He was bad at that too.

"No, It's all my fault...I'm so sorry, Sam. I failed. I couldn't make it..." I cried and grabbed onto Sam's shirt, burying my face in it and crying my eyes out.

"Dr. Myers!" He called againe. She came running into the Comms shack, followed by a man with short black hair and dark skin. His brown eyes were narrowed with a look that was all too familiar to me.

"What happened? What's wrong? Why isn't she in the hospital?" I turned to her quickly.

"A little boy. Blonde hair and blue eyes. Said he got bit. Parents are builders. Do you know him?" I asked and Dr. Myers put a hand on my forehead ignoring me.

"You're burning up againe." She said and turned to Sam. "Do you know how long?" Sam shook his head. I shot up.

"I'm not! I'm not! I don't need your help!" I yelled and ran my fingers through my, now greasy from sleeping on it, hair. Dr. Myers put a hand on my shoulder. I wrenched away.

"Runner Five?" She asked. I covered my face with my hands, collapsing to the ground. "Runner Five, what happened?"

"I was at my base and Jake was there and he and Amanda were on the plane and it crashed and I wanted to help him but I ran. I was so scared, Sam." I said, flinging my arms around him againe.

"Ok, can you tell me what happened? Are you hurt?"

"I-I-I-" I stuttered.

"Just tell her what happened." Sam assured me.

"I-I-I-" No, not happening. I was not just going to spill my emotions in front of Dr. Myers, this new guy, and even Sam. Dr. Myers looked around and then turned to the brown haired man.

"Evan? Can you give us a second?" She asked. He nodded. Sam stood up to leave as well. It was just she and I in the Comms shack. I quickly snapped out of my panic mode, when I established that I was not on a plane and Jake was dead. I turned to face Dr. Myers.

"Nothing happened. I'm fine." I told her. She narrowed her eyes in the same way the brown eyes man had done.

"No, your not. Your breathing is labored and you're sweating. You have a panicked look in your eyes. Not much good at hiding your emotions, are you, Brooklyn?" She asked. I shook my head.

"No, I'm not, but you don't have to be a doctor to see that." I snapped and moved to leave, and then I stopped. What if she thought that I was hiding something? Crap. "I was dreaming." I blurted. Crap Crap.

"About what?" She asked.

"It doesn't matter, but now you know that I'm ok and I don't need your help." I snapped and flounced out. She followed me. I could have killed her. Sam walked back up with the brown-eyed man. The dark haired man took my hand.

"I'm Even." He introduced. Sam spoke up.

"He's the head of runners."

"That's not a official title, Sam. It's what I get for surviving longer than the others." Even said and he and Sam chuckled. I cracked a smile.

"You ok?" Sam asked me. I nodded, my cocky smile returning. It was about time. That was a close call. I couldn't let the people here at Abel see me weak like that. No way. Not even Sam. Not now, not ever.

"I'm fine, Sam. Just a little tired." I insisted and Evan showed me to the main gates. Sam gave the command to raise the gates and gave me a covering fire.

"Runner Five, ready?" He asked.

"All set, Sam. What exactly am I doing?"

"Runner Seven, here is going to show you the neighborhood." He said and I looked over. The dark haired man had run up next to me.

"Runner Seven, ready?" Sam asked.

"You bet, Sam." Even said and together we took off into the woods. I didn't know how I felt about leaving the base with someone I barley knew who didn't trust me, but I really had no other choice. I needed to learn the lay of the land if I waned to be a runner.

"So, you see we're going to be heading around the base." Even said and he explained about the different routes into the city and how never to stay the night. That was fine with me.

"So up there is New Canton. They're the largest settlement of humans we know of. They don't talk to us and we don't talk to them for the most part and that's the way we all like it." Even said and we both stopped for a few minutes to look up the hill at the faraway castle of New Canton. I started to think about Amanda. She had a family up there. They were probably crying. Like I cried for Jake and Aidan. I shuddered the thought away and caught up to Evan.

"So, down here is the settlement of Scoobs. Or what used to the settlement of Scoobs." He said. "We don't know what happened to them one day they were-" I toned the rest of what he was saying out. I knew what happened to them, as did Mullion's Base. My expression must have changed because Evan looked at me with those eyes againe. "What's wrong, Five?" He asked me. His stern voice broke my reverie.

"Nothing's wrong, Seven." I snapped and shifted my weight from foot to foot. Even and I stared each other down for a few minutes then we both started off on a run againe. I followed him around the perimeter of the town.

Running this fast for this long was hard. My speed and pace were both good but my stamina needed a lot of work. Even told me that it would come with all good time. I was kind of forced to trust him. He was really fast too. He and I ran up a hill together.

"Breathe a little more, Five." He said and I turned to face him, not slowing down. "If you don't breath you won't be able to do much of anything. Also, speed if a key asset of yours, but please, I'd rather have you outpacing the zombies and going slower than faster." He said and I nodded. I hated to admit it, but he was right. We shared another look and suddenly he stopped. "What's caught in that tree?" He asked me and I shrugged. What do you think I have? Super eyes. I squinted a little and focused my eyes. The bag hanging from the tree looked like a body bag. There were a couple of zombies mulling around it, but in all honesty, I had a pretty big head. I wouldn't get bit, let alone hurt. I wouldn't put it past our world. I turned to Even.

"Let's run for it." Even looked around.

"No, you're not fast enough." He said and if I didn't want something from him I would have slapped him.

"Please, Even. I need to practice." I said and Evan looked around.

"We do have a sniper on the roof." He said and I nodded. "Maybe you should wait here and I'll go see what it is." He suggested. No, way! I wanted to prove myself. I wanted them all to buzz about me. I wanted to do something to show them that they could trust me. I was going to be staying here for a while and I was sick of being alone in the world, as I had been for two weeks.

"No way in all of hell, Seven! Why don't you wait here and I'll run?" I challenged. Even looked unsure.

"You can run ahead and I'll trail you." He said. I smiled brightly at him, the same way I always used to for Jake and took off at a steady pace.

Well, the whole 'you go ahead and I'll trail you' bit didn't exactly turn out as planned. Even was much faster than me and didn't hesitate to sped ahead. I had to press myself to keep up. I could feel the sweat dripping down my back, even though there was a thin dusting of snow on the ground and it was cold. Even and I stopped when we got to the bag. The sniper had shot the zombies.

"It looks like a supplies drop." Even said and he picked the bag up, emptying the contents into his bag.

"From where?" I asked. He lent down and picked the bag up. I saw the sign on the bag and I already knew the answer.

"It looks like it's from your base. They must have sent us supplies. They must know our routes.." Even said. That scared me. He and I poured over the contents. It wasn't a bad find. Three med kits, a shirt and pants, pain killers, five tins of food, shotgun shells, and a handgun. My base was filled with manipulative bastards and I didn't know what they were up to yet, but I did know that they wanted something in Able.

Even had started down the path, probably expecting me to follow, but I didn't. I fingered the white cloth and shivered a little bit. The sack was dusted with light snow. I bent down and fingered the grass around the sack. I'd seen something. It was shiny and silver. I picked the ring up. It was silver with purple and turquoise jewels. I gasped. It was a two-dollar ring from the store, but you would have had to bought it to see that. My heart stopped. My breath started to come short. My head felt like someone was pounding it in with a hammer.

It was the ring that Jake had given me.

My throat closed and dried up. I fingered the grass around it and found a white sheet of paper. I opened it. It was damp and the ink was running, like blood. Funny, it was red ink. Coincidence? I think not. They wanted me dead and they wanted me hurt, because why? I didn't follow rules? No it was more than that. I jeopardized their iron fist over the base. My heart froze when I read it.

Ninety-Three,

Welcoming gifts are scarce at Able so I thought that we would send you some. We know how hard it is for you to adjust to new places, being paranoid and depressed. We can only hope that you get this, as we are only able to get this as close as some of your runner's routes. I hope you are doing well, Ninety-Three. The people at Able have told us that you survived. I regret to say, that we will not be able to send a helicopter over until we are sure who sent that rocket launcher, but mission protocol stays the same and you volunteered for a mission. You are there to make friends and gain trust. If you fail to do so you might befall the same fate as your poor late friend. I would hate for that to happen, my dear. Funny thing, Ninety Three. The attack on our base that killed your dear Jake happened a week after he refused to go on a mission for us, it killed him and his family, almost killed you too. He loved you, Ninety Three. He failed us. Don't make his mistakes. Don't fail us, too, Ninety Three. Don't fail the memory of your sweet parents. They were good comrades. Remember, my dear Ninety-Three, we know and we acted on our knowledge. Don't make us do the same thing againe. I'd hate so see something happen to you.

Good luck and I hope to see you soon,

Major Ivory

I stood up. Evan was at my side when I stood. I didn't know what to do. The content of that grim note was swirling and dancing through my brain. I was scared. I mean, I was really petrified. I had only been here for a few hours, maybe a day, but I already cared about the people at Able. They had taken me in and treated me fairly. I needed someone to tell about the note.

My first instinct was strong. I wanted to tell Sam. He was kind and understanding. I wanted so badly for him to tell me that everything would be ok, like he did before. I wanted him to tell me that they wouldn't hurt me and that I was safe. I wanted him to lie to me. I knew, though, that I couldn't tell Sam. He wasn't good under pressure and he wouldn't know what to do. He would panic.

Dr. Myers. No. No way in all of hell was I going to tell her. She wouldn't help and she wouldn't understand.

Runner Seven. I had half a mind to just tell him now and show him the note, but I remembered that look and I knew that he didn't trust me and that note was not going to help my case. I could feel myself starting to cry againe. Then it hit me.

Janine.

She would be fair and listen to me. She would be kind and understanding. She would believe me and she knew what she was doing.

"Runner Five?" I herd Evan say. He was next to me. "Are you alright?" He asked. I nodded and stood. "What's wrong?" He asked me. I wasn't going to tell him a thing. He wouldn't understand.

"Overwhelmed." I muttered. It was a half-truth. Even gave me another look. He didn't trust me. I could tell that much. It was his very well with that fake mask of concern, but if I could tell anything it was when someone didn't like me. He started out on a light jog.

"You must be tired. We can take it easy." He said. Liar. You'd love to run me ragged. I thought and bit my lip. "So the runners are a pretty big part of life here. They go out and get supplies and go on different mission to help the town." Evan said. I bit my lip harder. Missions?

"What kind of things?" I asked.

"Well, we're under the command of Major DeSota, so whatever tactic things she needs us to do, but that's only if you're really quite good. Most of the runners go out on supply runs and trade things and pick up things. Also there's decoy duty, when we need zombies lured away from town." Evan informed me.

"Sounds interesting." I said, but my mind was elsewhere.

"We've decided to go with Sam in calling you Runner Five. Are you ok with that?" He asked and I nodded, speeding up a bit. I needed to talk with Janine soon.

"Being here is just a little overwhelming. I'm sorry I've been so distant." I said and taped his shoulder. "I'll race you back to the town." I said, trying to give him my bright smile.

"Another practice rum?" He asked and I nodded.

"Let's go." I said and ran back through the woods to the township as fast as I could. We ran back to the town. I think I must have surprised Evan with how fast I ran, because this time I was able to keep up with him this time. He nodded with approval when we stopped for a breather.

"Better, Five. Not bad speed at all. Keep that up and we'll reach the town in now time." He said and I nodded. He was right. We got to the town within ten minutes. My heart was beating fast, partially because I was scared out of my mind of Janine and partially because that was the best workout I'd had in months. "You did good today, Five." He said and put a hand on my bad shoulder. "We'll have use for you soon." He assured.

Yah, sure you will, you and Dr. Myers would just love to use me as target practice.

"Where will I find Janine?" I asked urgently, when I had caught my breath.

"You don't want to get some water with me?" He asked. I know what he wanted. He wanted to know more about me and why I'm here.

For some bizarre reason, everyone here thinks that they can't trust me. Yah, like I shot rockets at my own copter then magically summoned that army of zombies and purposely screwed up my shoulder and cracked my own ribs. Yah, Able Township was totally worth all that trouble. Let me tell you, if I wanted to cause the downfall of a town, I'd go for the bigger New Canton.

"I'd like to speak with Janine about my place in this town." I repeated. Oh my god, what is so hard to get about that? He walked me over to a stone building that he told me was used as the armory. After he left I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Please dear god, let me be doing the right thing. Please let Janine not be angry. Please let her believe that I have no idea what is going on and I'm just as scared as anyone. Please dear god, let her realize that I'm only human and two weeks ago I lost the only two friends I had and they're still out there, eating people and one day I might have to put a bullet through their heads. My brother is only two. He just learned how to walk. Janine opened the door. I took a last deep breath.

"You don't have to knock, Five. We did away with private property and privacy with it, but I'm glad that you respect the fact that this was my house before the outbreak." I walked into the room. The armory here was nothing like the armory at Mullions' base. At my base it was wall to wall with guns and crate after crate of ammo. They liked to show off how much weaponry they had. Here at Able, they had a few crates of ammo and some rifles.

"Janine, I need to talk to you." I said and she nodded at me. I wished that we could go somewhere else, so she wasn't standing next to a gun when I showed her the note. I started to babble before I could stop myself. Smart, Brooklyn. Really smart.

"Evan was showing me around and we found this supply drop from my base and I was looking closer at it and I found this. This is a ring that my boyfriend gave me and I swear I had nothing to do with that note and-" She scanned the note and cut me off.

"What mission did you volunteer for?" She asked.

"I have no idea, Janine. They never tell us anything and I planned to run when I volunteered but-" She put a hand on my shoulder. "You believe me, don't you, Janine?"

"Calm down, Five." She said and turned around. "Great, just splendid. The one time Major DeSota leaves for a long time we have a crisis to deal with." Janine said to no one in particular. I felt bad for causing Able these problems, but I was a part of the community now. I was Runner Five.

"Who is Jake and what happened?" She asked me. I must have blushed seven shades redder.

"He was a...umm...er...friend of mine." I finished with. Not a total lie and anyways, Janine did not need to know my love life. She raised an eyebrow. "He was turned gray in a attack on our base that was evidently pre planned." I said, the last part of my statement dripping with hate. How could Mullion's Base do that to another human? How could they hurt someone like that? Evil bastards. I thought. That was the answer. Because they were sheer evil.

"All right, Five-" She started. I cut her off.

"You believe me, don't you, Janine?" I repeated. "You're not going to throw me out and kill me?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Sam trusts you and as irritating as he gets, he lost one to many friends when Alice died." She said. "Also, Dr, Myers is quite pleased with you. Getting that box and all."

"Good." I said. Janine paused.

"And, Five, I do have to admit, I watched over you to make sure you were not in contact with New Canton or a threat to the town and I heard what you said to little James. He turned that night and we were forced to kill him, but that was a kind thing to do, Five." She said and I nodded. Maybe Janine wasn't so bad.

"Thank you, Janine." I said and she passed me the ring back.

"You must want this." I took it from her cold hands. "The fact that you showed me this note says something, Five." She said. "Thank you. I can tell that you'll do great things here at Able." I sighed a sigh of relief. I felt like the weight of the world had just been lifted from my chest. Janine believed me and her word was law around here. I closed my eyes for a second after slipping the ring on my finger. I looked over at Janine.

"What are we going to do?" I asked. She shook her head, sadly.

"There is nothing we can do, Five-"

"Brooklyn." I interrupted. "When I'm not on missions you can call me Brooklyn." She nodded.

"There really is nothing we can do, Brooklyn. Major DeSota is away on urgent business and we're just going to have to hang in there." Janine said. She turned to face me and I looked down at the ground. "You can stay with me, Sam, and Runner Eight. Lord only knows why I have to share lodgings with a idiot like Mr. Yao, but that's life here." Janine said and, together, we walked over to the house. It was rundown. A couple of houses that people were probably crammed into.

"Runner Five!" Sam said excitedly. I nodded; correcting him and telling him that, he too, cold call me Brooklyn. "What are you doing here?" He asked. Janine rolled her eyes.

"She's going to lodge with us, Mr. Yao. Is that all right with you? Of course it is. She's a pretty girl and I forgot how shallow and immature you can be. I'm sure you'd be fine with having another girl here."

"Hey, it's not my first choice of houses either, Janine. I don't want to stay with you, but what choice do I have?" Sam snapped back. Then he turned to me. "Are you going to sleep tonight, Brooklyn?"

"I plan to try." I responded.

"You should have the day off according to the runner schedule in my office." He said. Janine coughed.

"What schedule? Brooklyn, have you ever seen his office? It's like a tornado-" Janine was cut off by Sam's protests.

"The mission log that I plan to make when you fix the lights, Janine, and it does not look like a tornado ran through it. Runner Five knows that. You've been in there; you know it's neat as I can get it, Brooklyn.

"Neat as you can get it, Mr. Yao. How neat is that exactly?" Janine snapped back. Then she looked at me, shifting my weight from foot to foot awkwardly.

"You can sit, Five." She said. I stopped trying to correct them on using my name. They used it sometimes and I didn't think I'd be forgetting it anytime soon. Besides, Five had a certain ring to it. It was more like a title then a number. It made me feel needed and important, something that I'd never really felt since the apocalypse started. I lay down and listened to Sam and Janine arguing. It was a little entertaining.

"Well, Janine, maybe if you minded your own business once in a while-"

"Sam, if I minded my own business nothing would get done around here and your Comms shack would fall apart. All of our runners would be in the hospital." She argued back. I turned over and started to think about the note. I fingered the little silver circle and ran my hands over the fake gems on it. Jake had told me it was an engagement ring and that one day we'd get married. He really did love me. I loved him too. More than anything and anyone, except Aidan. I loved him too. My parents could rot in hell for all I cared. Jake had gotten bit in the attack, and when he found out he left me to change. I told him not to go. I begged him not to go, but he kissed me and told me that he loved me. Tears were starting to form in my eyes, they killed him. The people at Mullion's Base killed him and I wanted them to suffer. I mean, they practically admitted to it in the note they sent me. They thought that he was a bad influence on the community, like me. I guess when he refused the mission they must have snapped.

My parents hated Jake in high school when we dated, and then when we moved to Mullion's Base at the start of the outbreak, because they were both military, I met Jake againe. He saved me. Saved me from becoming mindless like them. I shut my eyes. Big mistake.

_"Brooklyn! Brooklyn!" I herd a voice call. I rose out of my bed and looked out the window. Jake stood below the house that my parents owned here at Mullion's. They got perks, as they were military. I shot up and climbed out the window. Jake helped me down and took me in his arms, kissing my lips gently. "How have you been doing? I know how hard new places are for you. Always were. I remember on the high school class trip to Canada you-" _

_ "Shut it. That never happened." I muttered into his ear. I was new at Mullion's base. The ninety third one to come. _

_ "Brooklyn, I love-" I cut him off with a frown._

_ "My name is Ninety Three. You know that. Calling me Brooklyn will get you killed, by my parents." _

_ "I don't care what they say! I don't care! They can-" _

_ "Stop that!" I hissed and took his hand. "They're my parents and I love them." _

_ "Brooklyn, they'll never let us get married! You promised that when we finished high school we would." _

_ "That was before the apocalypse!" I huffed and turned away. He wrapped his arms around me. _

_ "I'm sorry. Don't be mad, but don't you see what they're doing to you?" He asked me. I shook my head. He sighed and grabbed my hand. "Come with me. I want to show you something." He said and led me back to his barracks. I sat down on the bed and he pulled me close, after taking something out from under the covers. I gasped. It was a book. _

_ "Jake, they'll have your head!" I exclaimed. _

_ "Let me read to you, Brooklyn. You might have forgotten how amazing it can be, but let me read to you."_

_ "I can read myself." _

_ "You can, but you won't."_

_ "I don't want to die!" _

_ "The Brooklyn that I knew in high school wouldn't have cared!" _

_ "Well, I'm not Brooklyn! I'm Ninety-Three! Follow the rules and you'll be rewarded, Jake." I snapped. "Maybe my parents would let us get married if you followed the rules." I snapped and he pressed his lips to mine. He then opened the book and started to read._

_ " __Two households, both alike in dignity. In fair Verona, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge break to new mutiny. Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes. A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life." He read. I rolled my eyes. _

_ "This is real life, Jake, not Romeo and Juliet. Now, unless you want to die, I'd highly suggest ditching the books." I snapped. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer. _

_"Oh, creature, so foolish. How great is the ignorance that harms you? That's from Dante's Inferno. Do you know what it means, Brooklyn? If not, think about it. I know you can, NINTEY THREE." He said to me sarcasticlly. I narrowed my eyes. "I love you, Brooklyn. Don't let them turn you into something you're not."_

_ "Jake, I'm not. I'm following rules." I said and he turned around. _

_ "Let's go now, Brooklyn. Let's go tell your parents we want to get married right now. Please, darling. Just come and I won't let anything happen to you. I can't do this any longer." He said and I looked around and then into his brown eyes. "I can't let them do this to you. Please, love. Let's just go now. What's the worst that can happen? The apocolypse is already in progress, darling. Just come with me. I'll do the talking."_

_ "Don't you think two weeks is soon?" I asked him._

_ "No, not in the least and we did go to school together. It's not like we just met. Please, Brooklyn, for me." _

_"Alright, but this does not mean that I succumb to your foolish ideas." I said and he smiled and got onto his knee. _

_ "Let's do this the proper way." He said and I laughed, forgetting about the fight we were in. _

_ "Brooklyn Harker, or as you would rather be called which is a shame because your name is very pretty, Ninety Three, will you be my wife in sickness and in health?" He asked. I nodded and looked at the ring in his hand. I gasped. _

_ "Jake, where did you get it?" I asked. He smiled. _

_ "It doesn't matter." He said and I was to thrilled to even say anything. I threw my arms around him._

_ "Let's go now." He said. I shook my head. _

_ "My parents are unreasonable." I said but he took me in his arms and together, we ran over to my parents house. I didn't think that night. I didn't think about the fact they were sick. I didn't think that this might make them sicker. Jake and I burst through the doors. My father stood up, shakily. _

_ "Ninety Three, where were you!" He snapped. I looked down. Jake stood taller. _

_ "She was with me." He said and I looked up at him. He was always so brave. "Mr. Harker, I'm here to ask for your daughter's hand." He said and I swear it was just like al of the old movies I'd ever seen. My father threw him out that second. I tried to stop him, but he threw him out and slapped me. That was the first time he ever laid a hand on me. My father called Major Ivory, a family friend and also military over. He ran the base. My mother and father told him everything and he listened to them, telling them that they were good parents and that they must care about me a lot to be this concerned. I came downstairs. _

_ "Ninety Three, I can't allow you to associate with this boy anymore." Major Ivory said. "Your mother and father are both very sick. You've only been here two weeks. I know that you think it's love but-" _

_ "It is love, Major. I have every respect for you but I love him more than the world." I said and the major slapped me. My face started to sting. _

_ "Ninety Three, you'll respect your mother and father and never see that boy againe! He filled your head with nonsense! He's no good!" Major Ivory yelled. I stood up._

_"It is love! It is! We loved each other in school and we love each other now! Who are you to say that we don't?" _

_"Go to your room! I Now! How can you do this to me and your mother? "_

_"I'll hope you all rot in hell! I yelled. I love him more than the world and we told you because we respect you." _

_ "You know that it's a bad idea." My mother said. That was when it hit me. That was when I first started to question the base. Two weeks after I moved in, when they kicked Jake out of the house for good and when my father slapped me._

_ "I hate you!" I yelled. "I hate you all! You always used to tell me to follow my dreams and I follow the rules here at Mullion's Base. I want this one thing and you deny me that? One little thing. Pease, please, please, I love Jake. Just-" _

_ "Ninety Three, now! Go to your room and stay there. You are never to speak to that boy againe. I swear I'll personally kill him if I ever see him talking to you againe." _

_ I cried myself to sleep that night. When I woke up my baby brother was crying and I could hear hushed whispering. When I got up I saw people in my living room. _

_ "Where are my mom and dad?" I asked. "And why are you here?" I asked. It turns out that both my parents died of tuberculosis that night. I had never said I love you to them since I came to the base. They died in a fight with me. I hated that about myself. Major Ivory came up to me. _

_ "I'll need to move your barracks." He told me. I was fine with that. I just wanted to see my parents. I wanted them to hold me and tell me things would be ok but that would never happen againe. They were dead and gone. The words echoed in my head. Especially Jake's quote. Always that quote. How could ignorance hurt someone? It stuck with me. It killed my parent's. Ignorance. _

_ Well, ok. Maybe tuberculosis killed them, but they died ignorant to the world. They died brainwashed and brain-dead. I vowed that my brother and I would not be the same. A few days later I organized a strike with Jake. I let him do all the talking, though. I didn't know what I believed yet, but I knew that I loved Jake and now that my parents were dead I needed someone to stick with. Jake was willing to help me and my brother. _

I woke up in a sweat, not screaming though. I was breathing hard and tears were lightly forming in my eyes. I hated dreaming and I hated feeling weak.

"Five? Brooklyn? Are you ok?" I heard a voice ask. I turned to face Sam who was shinning a flashlight in my face. I squinted.

"Jesus, Sam, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Nah, I was up thinking. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I have terrible insomnia." I said and sat up. The flashback still stuck in my mind and I touched the ring. Not insomnia, nightmares horrible flashbacks and nightmares. I hate sleeping. I hate Mullion's Base and I used to hate my parents.

"Sam?" I asked. "What's it mean to be evil?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

"Forget it, Sam." I muttered and lay down againe. This time I kissed my ring and tried to pretend that Jake was lying next to me and that his arms were around me. The quote was floating in my mind, still. I turned over and kissed the ring. "I love you..." I muttered into it. Apparently I had woken Janine up with my breathing because she sat up, alert as ever.

"What's that?" She asked me. I apologized for waking her but she would hear none of it. She told me that we all took care of each other at Able and now I was the new Runner Five. She insisted on having Sam sit with me until I fell asleep. How old did she think I was? Three? But still, I enjoyed the comfort of people caring what happened to me. My head had started hurting at a gradual throb but the pain was bearable. I didn't have much of a pillow or blanket, just my old leather jack that I balled up for a pillow and a thin sheet for a blanket. I turned over once againe.

"Janine?" I asked her. She groaned. Sam smirked.

"Go to bed, Five." She muttered. Not happening, Janine. That was so far from what was going to happen.

"Janine!" I called againe, harsher this time.

"What, Brooklyn?" She asked. I looked at her.

"Do you trust me?" I asked. "And be honest." I added.

"I don't know what to make of the situation, but what you did with the note was very honest and loyal." She said and I nodded. "Now go to bed and let me do the same. Bother Mr. Yao, if you want to bother someone."

"So pretty much, you don't trust me yet." I clarified.

"It's not that, Brooklyn. It's just that I want to sleep, now for the last time, bother Mr. Yao, who's already awake."

"But Janine, you're awake too now."

"Yah, Janine, mabey you should be the one to stay awake." Sam hissed.

"Good night, Brooklyn." She moaned.

"Janine, what's it mean to be evil?" I asked her and she sat up.

"Go to sleep, Five!" She snapped. Not happening.

"What do I do tomorrow?" I asked. She gave me a dirty look and Sam cracked a smile.

"Can you get more difficult?" She snapped. "Now, good night, Miss Harker."

"You can hang out with me at the Comms. desk." Sam whispered and I nodded at him. Janine put the pillow over her head. Sam laughed a little. I smiled, my eyes had started o feel heavy. I didn't want to fall asleep againe, so I didn't. I stayed up the entire night, thinking about Jake and whispering his name, so that I wouldn't forget him. He was the one that needed to be remembered.


	6. Ignorance

November 19th 2014

I swung my two feet out of bed and unsteadily stood up. Janine had placed a broken mirror on the wall and for a few seconds I was scared to look in it.

"You look fine." I herd a voice say. "Much better then some of us." I twirled around to see Dr. Myers. Crap. This was not the way I wanted to start off my first real day here. "Easy, Five. Easy. It's just me." Yah, that might just be the reason I'm on edge. "Everyone else has started work or is eating. Sam said that when you wake up you can come help him in the shack." I cursed to myself. It was my first day here and I'd already overslept my hours.

"Sorry, I should have gotten up." I muttered and looked at my almost bare body in the mirror. I was wearing the same ratty black shorts and stained white tank top. My legs and arms were black and blue with bruises and cut, some of them were still freshly dripping with blood. I flinched away. What was she talking about? I did not look fine. My shoulder was covered with dark blue splotches and when I pulled up my shirt to look at my ribs they looked the same as my shoulder.

"No worries, the wounds will heal. I'd like you to take a few days off. You can start as a official runner later." She assured me. Under Sam's command. Not yours, that alone is a reason to be excited. I could not wait until my shoulder healed and she had no more control over me. Not like she had any to begin with,

"Thank you, Dr. Myers." I said and bit my lip. Te words tasted salty and unreal. They were not sincere. I hated her so much. I walked up to the mirror againe and looked closer at my face. I looked like shit. If I looked fine I'd hate to see what everyone else looked like. My eyes were sunken in and my hair was greasy. My face was cut up, like my legs.

"I'll show you to the food storage." She offered. Yah, and the snake pit so you can throw me right in. I shook my head. I was starting to get pissed now. "Are you sure? It's not trouble. I can just-" Shut your mouth? Because that would be perfect.

"I said no thank you!" I snapped. "I don't want your pills now leave me alone, Dr. Myers!" She sat down on the bed. Oh my god, do you know what leave means? I thought.

"You do know that you're a part of Able now. We want to make sure that-" Are you kidding me? This is the same crap that you fed Sam about Alice, but he believed it. I don't.

"Just go!" I hissed at her and she turned around to do what I said but I grabbed her wrist. "Wait!" I called. She looked me over, probably wondering what kind of crazy person I was. "Dr. Myers, do you think I'm paranoid?" I asked. Maybe she could help me.

"I don't know you well enough to say, but when I do have an idea, you'll be the first to know, Miss Harker." Forget it, I guess she can't help.

My eyes trained up to the corner of the room where I saw a black box. My stomach did a flip. What if it was a camera? What if Able was more like Mullion's Base then I knew? What if I had to run away? Maybe-

My frantic thoughts were cut off by Dr. Myers' voice. As much as I hated her, her words calmed me down a little. Maybe it was just a frantic time or maybe I was going crazy, to think that she could calm me down.

"It's a megaphone. Sam uses it to communicate with the town and there are these two men, Jack and Eugene, who always do a radio show. Don't worry, now one is spying on you." She assured me. Sam walked up behind me.

"Yah, we have Janine in our bunk. She'll rat you out you out to Major DeSanta faster than you can say 'zombie'." He assured me. I looked over and smiled at him.

"I thought you had work to do." Dr. Myers said.

"I do, but I'm here to see if Runner Five wants to come help me with my work." He commented. I nodded.

"I'll come, let me just go get a drink first." I said and he gave me the thumbs up. I smiled and he sat down.

"She'll be out in a minute, Sam. You can go." Dr. Myers said.

On second thought, maybe I should go with Sam now. She sat me down.

"I'm fine, Dr. Myers. I'm going to get a drink and then I'm going to go help Sam, get to know some people, get familiar with the area." I said and she nodded.

"That's a good idea." She said. No shit, Sherlock, that's why I said it.

"Ok, Dr. Myers. Thank you for everything." I said. I needed to be the mature one and make friends. I started to walk out of the barracks and she walked her separate way over to the hospital.

"Excuse me! Miss! Wait...umm...Runner Five! Brooklyn!" I turned around to see a frantic looking women running towards me.

And who the hell are you? Did I spend a year in a mental institution and meet you? Not to my knowledge.

"I'm so sorry. Are you the new runner?" She asked. Yes, out course, I'm the new runner, moron. Who do you think I am? Buffy the Zombie Slayer? I wish.

"I'm Bridget. You must think I'm crazy. You don't even know me. I...well... I think you knew my son." She said. I was confused. A cute boy? Here? No way. Well, Sam and maybe Seven, in a weird way, but no one I would consider even remotely as handsome as Jake. She was definitely off her rocker.

"This is going to sound crazy. James? Do you know him?" I wanted to face palm myself. Why did I always have to do this to myself? Crap. Crap. Crap. Now I felt really bad. I'm a horrible person.

"I do believe that I knew your son for a short amount of time." I said. Awkward. That's what I was with people. Awkward. It was a stupid thing to say too. She laid a hand on my arm.

"Thank you, Runner Five. Thank you so much. He was dying and he was scared." She cried. "He thought you were a angel sent from heaven. You told him all of those stories. He loved them. You made his last hours less painful. You made him happy when we couldn't. He didn't suffer, Runner Five. Thank you." She said to me and I nodded.

"Anytime. Your son seemed like a special boy and I'm so sorry that that had to happen. It's a hard time for us all but if we stick together we can do it. I know we can. Your son would have wanted for you to be strong. I know how you feel." I said all at once. How I came up with that is beyond me. It wasn't like I knew the women or even that I cared about her or her son, she just reminded me of myself after I lost my family; desperate for support.

"You know what I'm going through?" She asked me and I wanted to slap myself. Great. Just wonderful. I mean, I did, it was just hard to talk about, especially with a stranger.

"Yah, I lost my baby brother in a raid on my base. He was two when he died. I lost my parents to tuberculosis after we moved to the base and I had this boyfriend and he's dead too." I said it all in a rush so that I could be done with this topic and maybe we could all just talk about the weather or music or movies or something normal. Normal. No one knew the meaning of the word anymore.

_A year after my parents died Jake and I got married unofficially. We started to strike too. I didn't start out believing what Jake believed. I just started to strike because he was but when the refused to even give my parents a funeral and say words, I lost it. Jake moved into my barracks and he and Aidan and I would take care of each other. Aidan was little, though. _

_ Every night Jake would sit up with me and we would have talks about deep things like the meaning of life and sanity and justice and other important things. Sometimes we would even end up yelling at each other. I had to admit it, though. He pretty much had me convinced after the whole ordeal with my parent's death. The base was evil. The more we talked the more I thought about it and the more I knew he was right. _

_ I was put in charge of Aidan and was told to raise him accordingly or they would have to find someone else to do it. I would do it all right. I'd teach him what right and wrong was. I'd teach him about humanity before this and I'd teach him about names. Every night I read to him, just like Jake read to me. I hated to read and books were forbidden, but Jake was able to get some, god only knows from where. _

_ "And so the prince saved Snow White with a kiss and Snow White came back to his castle and they lived happy ever after." I read quietly. "Do you like that ending, Aidan?" I asked him and he nodded. _

_ "Sure." _

_ "Sure what?" I prompted. _

_ "Sure, Brooklyn." He said and buried his little body closer to mine. I looked down at him. He was so innocent. I don't think he ever remembered life out of the base. "You're Snow White." He said and I smiled at him. _

_ "Really? That's sweet of you, Aidan." I said. _

_ "Yah, you and Jake. He's the prince. He saved you." I looked down at him. _

_ "What do you mean, Aidan?" _

_ "I don't know. You're always saying it." He yawned and fell asleep. _

_ "Good night, Aidan." I said. I always used his name. I needed to make sure that he never forgot. He was the hope for humanity. He could remember for us all. I stood up and walked over to Jake's bed. He was watching us intently. I lay down next to him. He wrapped his arms around me. I looked up. _

_ "Hey." He said. I smiled at him. _

_ "Hey, Jake." I whispered and he took some of my hair in his hand and played with it. _

_ "It's growing. Keep it this way. I like it long." I laughed a little bit at his statement. _

_ "Yah, that's what happens when you spend a year in some god damn base. Your hair grows. I haven't cut it, but for you, I'll keep it long." I said. It was his turn to laugh. _

_ "Good. I'd miss being able to finger it when I read-" I cut him off with some tears. I was scared. Scared out of my mind. _

_ "Jake, I'm scared." I whispered. "Scared of life, and the men here, and of Aidan forgetting, and of-" He pulled me closer. _

_ "Shhh, Brooklyn, sweet and innocent and naive Brooklyn." He said and I let me tears subside, trying not to cry harder. "Can you tell me what happens when the sun never rises?" He asked me and I had no idea what anything had to do with that, but I needed to take my mind off of the horrors around me. _

_ "We all die. The earth would freeze." _

_ "And I'd never see you againe." Jake muttered, pulling me closer and kissing me gently. I scoffed. _

_ "Jake, I'll be the least of your worries if the sun stopped rising." I warned and he shook his head. _

_ "No, no, no, you'll always be my biggest concern, Brooklyn. Even in death." He said and I closed my eyes. He sighed. "I'm going to have to go in a few weeks." He said and I shot up. _

_ "What?" I asked, the disbelief was evident in my voice. No! What would I do without him? _

_ "Brooklyn, listen to me." He said and we both sat up. He held my hand. "I'm trying to get out of it. I've been refusing and yelling and screaming, but they won't listen to me. They say they need someone that can build trust. I keep telling them to find a pretty girl, but they seem to think that I can do better than anyone." I looked down, starting to cry. He pulled my head up againe. "Listen to me, Brooklyn, when all is said and done, I will find a way out for you and Aidan." He promised and I swore. _

_ "Will you be there when alls said and done?" I asked and he shrugged. _

_ "I have no idea, baby." He said and I wrapped my arms around him. _

_ "You can't go, Jake. You can't. What am I supposed to do without you?" I sobbed. _

_ "You're stronger than you think you are, Brooklyn and you never know yourself until you face your fears." He whispered into my ear. I took a deep breath. I needed to be strong. I needed to keep it together. _

_ "Ok." I said. "Ok, ok, ok, it's going to be ok. We're going to be ok." I assured myself. "What book do you have today?" He smiled. _

_ "Brave New World." He said and I stood. _

_ "Jake I don't want to read that!" I said. "You know I hate that book." I muttered under my breath. _

_ "Are you sure?" He asked me. "It's a lot like Mullion's Base. We could talk-" He looked a bit worried. I shook my head. _

_ "No, I'm so sorry. Not this close to when my parents died." I said and leaned into his embrace. He kissed my head. "All that we see is but a dream within a dream." He murmured into my ear. His quotes were always so pretty. I loved them. _

"Runner Five? Are you ok?" Bridget asked me and I nodded at her. "Well, thank you for everything and I just want to let you know that whatever everyone here thinks of you must be wrong. I would trust you with the last bullet in my gin and I don't even know you." She said and I thanked her and walked off. I finished my walk around campus and got some dried apricots and coffee. I walked back to my barracks and I was about to go see Sam when I herd the speaker blare with the sound of his voice. I guess it really was a speaker.

"Runners Two, Six, Seven, Eight, Ten, and Five report to the main gate for decoy duty. This is an emergency. We're counting on you." Sam said and part of me felt elated. They needed me. ME. They wanted me to help because someone here trusted me. I was excited, but at the same time scared. What happened if I messed everything up? What would I do then? I took a deep breath and tied my hair up in a ponytail and grabbed a waterproof jacket that had been placed next to my bed. It was still cold outside, and then I ran to the gates.

The first thing I noticed is that the gates were wide open. This was not good. I put my headset on and lined up with the other runners. Self doubt started to creep into my mind. They were all either skinny and nimble or tall and stern looking. I wasn't really either. They all started to size me up. I could see the same look plastered on each of their faces. I stared at the ground. It was better than looking at everyone's disproving glances. We were supposed to be a team. Sam's voice filled my ears.

"Ok, Runner, the gates are stuck in open position and we need you all to run decoy. Runner Five is new here, so I'm going to partner you up with Runner Eight." He said. Way to single me out, Sam.

A woman ran up next to me. I bit back an eye roll. She had started to cough and wheeze. This was who was going to have my back? This was who was going to show me the ropes? I was screwed.

"Sorry I'm late, Sam. Damn chest cold." She said and coughed againe.

"Sara, are you sure you're alright? I mean. First a cough, then a rattle, and then a moan-" Sam said. She cut him off with a little laugh.

"That's how you know the dead are walking. I'm fine, Sam." She insisted and looked over at me rolling her eyes and smiling. I was caught off guard. She had smiled at me. No suspicious glair and no questions. No crap about anything. I smiled back. "You must be Runner Five or Brooklyn Harker." She said and I nodded.

"Everyone seems to know me around here." I mused and she laughed a warm laugh. I made a mental note. I definitely liked Sara. She had a real accent from Ireland too. It made me feel welcome. I have no idea why.

"I'm Runner Eight, Sara Smith." She said and I smiled wider. I must have looked like an idiot, but I couldn't help it. I just liked her. She seemed friendly. Her red hair was curly and tossed about her pale face and she had piercing green eyes. Sara. It suited her. It just did.

Some people came walking around with these things that they called noisemakers and strapped them onto my back. "Pretty much just go and run around in circles." Sam said and Sara and I started out north. She wasn't slow but she wasn't fast like Evan and that was ok with me. I liked her pace. I was able to keep up with her without much of a strain. She was coughing harder as we ran. I stopped.

"Would you like to take a break?" I asked her. She looked over. Sam was on radio with us. I guess he wanted to keep tabs on me.

"Maybe Five is right-"

"No!" Sara exclaimed. "I don't need a break. You know, Sam if it bothers you so much I'll just turn the transmitter off." She snapped and flicked the button on her headset. I could hear Sam protesting. She took my headset and flicked the button as well. We kept going but in silence. I talked after a while, realizing that we shared a barrack.

"I'm sorry that I didn't say hello to you the other night I was so tired." I said, in the hopes that she might say something back. She did.

"Oh, it's fine, hun. Just don't you worry. I can understand how scary it much have been coming down in that chopper." She said. "I mean you survived and the way you came over here. That was pretty lucky, Five." She mused. Her tone had changed.

"What do you mean?" I asked her, suspiciously.

"Nothing, honey-duck down a second, will you?" She said and reached a gun over my head, shooting a zombie square in the face. I looked away. "They don't usually give us guns on missions but they like to help us out on a decoy mission." She said and kept talking. Suddenly I felt weird with her. And no contact to Sam "I mean, all that business with the rocket launcher. How do we really know it was you who was in that chopper? Sure, you show up in the right uniform but that could have been stripped from a body. You have no ID and with no way to transmit photos we don't really know if it was you. You could have been the one with the launcher." Sara said. I stopped. She did too.

"I don't know what you're implying, Eight, but maybe you should try minding your own business for a change. I was in the chopper and I think that you need to turn that radio back on and leave me alone." I snapped.

"So, you and Sam have gotten pretty close, Five. Heard him and the doctor talking the other night. He was really worried about you, Five."

"Shut up and mind your own business, Sara."

"Ok, Brooklyn. If that's even your real name." She said, innocently. No, Sara, that's not my real name. I thought. My name is Ninety-Three, That's what they call me at Mullion's Base, because they don't want me getting attached to anyone. I really started to hate her.

Now let me tell you, Sara, when I got on that chopper I didn't even intend on coming here. I wanted to run away from everyone. I didn't even care about your crappy little town. I thought to myself. I sped up a little. It stung to think that Sara didn't trust me. I had liked her for a few minutes. She reminded me of a nicer version of my mother. Now she was just my mother, minus the nice part.

"Duck down another second, honey. I wouldn't want to shoot you by mistake." Sara said and I did. I ducked down and I had half a mind to book somewhere. I sped up and wondered where I would most likely be able to dodge a bullet from; the left or the right. Sara turned her transmitter back on and Sam was mad. He started to lecture us on how irresponsible it was and how we should never do it againe. I was still a little shaken up. He swore.

"Aww...crap...this is why you never EVER turn off your transmitter! You have zoms to the south, west, and east! You have to head north." Sara's eyes lit up.

"Sam, I have a plan. It just accord to me that we haven't show Five here the neighborhood." Sara said. Yes, you have I got a lovely tour from Mr. Evan who thinks he's better than me and hates me with you.

"What do we do?" I asked her.

"We keep running towards New Canton." Sara said. Shit. I couldn't do that.

"Eight, do we want to start war with New Canton?" Sam asked. No. I thought. Amanda was from New Canton.

"Sam, our exit is to the north and New Canton is to the north. If the major was here we'd check with her, but she's not." Sara said. "If we speed up we can give them a little payback from what they did last spring when they showed those zoms to us when we were making new barracks."

"Yah, but I don't know, Eight..." Sam worried. Sara looked at me.

"Sam, you know it makes sense." She said. I cursed myself for being so nosy and helping Sara.

"Sam, if New Canton thinks they can walk all over yo- us. If New Canton thinks they can walk all over us then they're going to do that every chance they have. We can't let them, Sam." I said and then looked over at Sara and snidely added; "And besides, I have Runner Eight here. What can hurt me?" Sam seemed happy with that answer so I decided to just leave it at that.

"Ok, just be careful..." He said and Sara sped up in front of me.

"Speed up! Quickly! Towards New Canton!" Sara exclaimed and started to cough more. Forget being nice, that ship sailed when she started questioning my sincerity. I sped up to the point where I was in front of her and we raced through the woods together for about a mile. Soon we reached a road. I felt a little bad, like I was betraying Amanda, but quickly brushed away the guilt. Sara leaned over and jogged up next to me.

"Ok, Five. New Canton has snipers on the roof and lots of firepower. You're going to need to run." she nodded and we both picked up the pace. Suddenly, my ears were flooded with the sound of bullets raining down on the area around us. I could see the zombies out of the corner of my eye. Sara might have been annoying, but she knew how to work a plan, because all of the zombies fell under the rain off bullets.

"Stop, Runners! In the name of New Canton! Stop!" They yelled. I smirked a little and sped up, my guilt was gone. I just might love being a runner. It was an adrenaline rush and Sam was cool. It was better then helping Dr. Myers. "Stop or we shoot to kill!"

If they weren't shooting to kill now what were they doing?

"Go faster, Five!" She yelled and I sped up, not wanting to get hit. I looked back and locked eyes with the man shooting. He was a far distance, so I couldn't really see him, but I could see his face well enough to know that it was not the face of a killer. It was the face of a man, who had been through hell, like us all. I stopped. "Come on, Five!"

"But-" I protested and she rushed me on.

"Now! Don't you worry about New Canton. They have the firepower to deal with these zombies. " Sara said and I nodded. Her words washed away my guilt. Not her. The fact that I knew they could deal. They were people, just like us. Evil people or not.

The man was yelling and shooting againe and I think I herd Sara yelling back this time, but it didn't matter to me what Sara did because we were a safe distance away from New Canton and all the zombies were dead. Thank the lord. We both stopped and gasped fro breath. Sara was coughing againe. Good. I thought. Let her cough her lungs up. I quickly scolded myself for having thoughts like that, though. I was coughing right along with her, gasping for air. That was the best run I'd ever had. I turned my headset on againe. Sam was probably worried sick.

"Five to Able." I said, through gasps for air. Sam was on the radio in a heartbeat.

"Are you and Eight ok, Five?" He asked. I nodded still out of breath. Sara turned her radio on.

"Just dandy, Sam. Can we come in if we don't have a swarm?" She asked.

"Sure thing, Runners. Let me call everyone. We have the gate fixed thanks to the people of- Yes, Janine, I know you're the engineer-what? No, I helped too. I was talking to the runners. That's my job, Janine! You know where we-I'm not doing this with you in front of Five and Eight. I need to get them both back safely." Sam said and Sara and I exchanged a glance.

"Sam, be nice to her. She's just doing her job." Sara radioed.

"She's so annoying sometimes. Anyways, I need to do a mass call and tell everyone to come in. I'll be back on with you in a second. We should be able to get you two back soon. I have you both on scanners." He said and I herd his voice die out and then go back on. He told all the runner great job and that the gates were fixed. Sara told him that she could get back just fine without the help and I rolled my eyes. She was giving me the 'look of utter damnation' that everyone here seemed to be fond of giving me. Sara and I put the headsets around our necks so we could talk. I hated to talk with people who clearly didn't like me. I hated to pretend I like people.

"Well, I thought that we would have more time for chatting, Five. Truth is, I wanted to see if I could trust you."

"Oh, I never could have guessed. The whole bit about me and stripping dead bodies? Pure genius. What about the part about me shooting my own chopper down? You're so subtle, Sara." I hissed sarcastically. "I could never have guessed your real motives.

"Some pretty strange things have been going on, Five. None I'm sure have to do with you. Major DeSanta gets called away on urgent business and then the whole business with your chopper and you show up like a white knight so save everyone. To convenient, Five. To damn convenient. "

"If you feel that way then why not just shoot me now?" I challenged.

Yah, that was really smart of me.

"Because of Janine and Sam. Mostly Sam. You too seem to have gotten pretty close, Five, and he doesn't need to lose another friend so close to Alice's death." Sara said.

"Nice to know your only keeping me around because of Janine and Sam." I bit back and she looked like she was about to say something, but our headsets crackled with static and Sam's savior voice rang in my ears, not a moment to soon.

"Ok! Looks like everyone but you two are back? Getting to know each other out there?" He asked.

"A little better than I'd like." I hissed at Sara. Sam ignored my tone.

"Ok, then, let me just say, Five. Sensational work today! I know I told all the runners, but you and Eight did better than anyone would have every expected. Payback and decoy duty! Major DeSanta would be proud! You'll be good here, Five. Can you find your way home? Do you know where you are?" Sara looked around.

"I know, Sam. I'll get us home."

"Ok, get Five back in one piece." Sam said cheerfully and I smirked.

Yah, Sara will try her best. Her and Evan. I can just tell that we'll be best friends.

"Don't worry, Sam. I'm looking forward to many more runs with Five here." Sara said.

"Yah, I don't think so. I'm going to need Five to get some rest. I've gotten some reports of a kid stuck in no man's land and I might need Five's expertise with kids, not to mention those fast as the Flash running legs." He said and I groaned.

"Sam, I'm not good with kids. I don't know why I did what I did or said what I said to James. It was impulse. Please, don't make me deal with dying kids!" I begged.

"Ok, ok, just come home now. We'll talk about it later, guys." Sam said and we did. Sara and I walked all the way back to Able and Sam raised the gates; we were greeted like hero's. I guess most people had started to warm up to me. I let Sara do the telling and I walked back to my barracks to write everything down on paper. I had no trouble sleeping that night. I slept like a rock, but I did dream I regret to say. I had a horrible dream about Sara Smith taking my eyes out with a knife. She's love that. I thought. She'd just love to get me out of Able, as would half the community.

To bad that's not happening.

To bad I like Sam and I almost like being a runner.

To bad that Sara and Evan and Dr. Myers and can shove it up their sorry ass because I'm Runner Five, and I'm here to stay.


	7. Hope

November 20th 2014

I woke up on time today. I was pretty happy with myself. I didn't really have a plan for today. Sam told me that I could take the day of and for real this time. Well, I woke up at six and threw both feet out of bed. Sam was doing the same as was Janine and Sara. I guess six was the time to get up.

"So give me the rundown on what a Sunday is like here at Able." I said and Sam shrugged.

"For you? Get some rest because you've been running no stop for the last three days." He said. "For me? Food runs." He said and grabbed Sara's arm. "You're going. Aren't you, Eight?" He asked and she nodded.

"Just give me some time to get something to eat, Sam." She said. "Is Five going to be coming with me?" She asked. I smirked. Sucker. No way.

"She's getting some rest today." Sam said. Sara nodded and gave me the damnation look againe.

"Understandably so. She's been through a lot, going down in that chopper, seeing her pilot die, escaping from zombies, meeting so many new faces-" Sara said and I cut her off.

"Being patronized by those new faces, getting the whole town pit against me, almost dying like ten times and three of those times are because certain people dislike me. You know, Eight, just the usual." I hissed at her and Sam rolled his eyes. Sara gave me another look.

This one was more of a 'shut up and stop being a smart ass' look.

"I'll catch up with you in a few, Sam. I want to write some stuff down." I said.

"I'll wait with you. We have time." He pointed out. In truth, I was glad for the company. I opened my ratty black backpack, but when I pulled out my stacks, I realized that I only had one left.

"Crap!" I swore and frantically tore through the cabin. How would I stay sane without writing? How would I stay sane without remembering and how would I remember if I couldn't write?

"What are you looking for?" Sam asked. I turned around.

"Paper." I said desperately. "I need paper to write on. I'd never ask, but I-"

"Don't worry about it! You've done more than your share in the last few days. We can walk over to the recreation center together to get some." He said and I nodded. I enjoyed talking to Sam. He held out his hand. "Shall we?" He asked and I took his hand. We walked for a while in a comfortable silence until I sighed.

"Sam? When will I completely adjust?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I have no idea. People trust you a little more and your running is sensational work. That trick with New Canton? I mean, wow!"

"That was Sara. She thought it up." I said. He turned to me and stopped.

"What was it with you and Sara today?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I wish everyone trusted me." I said. "When will they?"

"I trust you." Sam said and I shrugged.

"No, I mean the town. When will they?" I asked.

"Janine trusts you." He said and I groaned and dropped his hand.

"No, when will the whole town trust me like they trust you and Janine and Sara and Evan?" I said, exasperated now.

"Soon, Brooklyn. You're earning major town cred. With all the work you've been doing here." He said and I smiled. We reached the recreation center and he held the door for me. I walked in.

The rec. center was crap. There was no nicer way to say it. It was a one-room house with some desks with paper and crayons. Calk and power cables littered the ground and a TV with a cracked screen was hanging on the wall. Books were opened and thrown around the room. The place was a mess. The kids looked really bored. It almost reminded me of Mullion's Base. Almost. I turned to Sam.

"Forget the paper for now. Do you have chalk and a ball? We'll need a ball." I mused. Sam looked confused but walked over to the desk and riffles around, finding both things and tossing them to me. I knew what I was going to do. There is no way that a community like Able was going to be this glum. No way. Not on my watch. I clapped my hands and all the kids looked over.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked me and I gave him a devilish smile and winked.

"Ok, kids." I said and then suddenly realized that I had nothing to say. They all looked over. I walked around. "Get up, come on. I have a idea." I said and none of them bothered to move. "Guys, come on, I'm new here." I said. No one moved. I decided to take a different approach.

"You know what I miss most about the world before?" I asked. "Baseball." I said and a few of the kids started to talk. I kept going. Sam gave me a slight smile. I could tell he agreed with my plan. I could tell that he knew my plan. A few of the kids started to murmur about baseball to each other.

"I loved to go to the games with my mum!" One of the little boys piped up.

"Yah." I coaxed.

"I used to play baseball with my friends!" Another exclaimed.

"I loved to eat the popcorn and the hotdogs!" Someone yelled.

"I got to sing the national anthem once!" A girl said.

"How many of you have played baseball since the outbreak?" I asked. No one raised their hand. I think my mouth might have dropped a little. Kids here did what for fun? "What do you do for fun?" I asked.

"Sing!" The girl cried.

"Read!" Someone called. That was about it. I looked around.

"We don't have enough power to play with the games and my mummy says that reading is good." The little girl said. I sat down. The kids crowded around me. "Also, they need everything that can be used as a weapon in Janine's house so we have got no bat."

"What's your name, sweetheart?" I asked her.

"Susan Jennings, but everyone calls me Suzy." She said. I nodded.

"I'm Brooklyn Harker." I introduced. "I'm new here." I said and stood up againe. "And I miss baseball more than anything. Can we play?" I asked. Sam put a hand on my shoulder.

"Now wait a second, Brooklyn. We don't have a bat-"

"I know where we can get one!" A little boy chimed up. He told me his name was Thomas and his father worked in the armory. They had baseball bats in there.

"Great, Janine's never going to let us take one!" Suzy exclaimed.

"We can borrow one! Sam and Brooklyn can get us one!" Thomas exclaimed.

"Yah! Brooklyn can run in! She's fast! My mummy says so. She's Runner Four and she knows you! They all talk about you!" Suzy chimed in again.

"My daddy says that you're going to kill us all or get us killed." A little boy piped up.

Great, your dad's a moron.

Sam chimed in and told him that I was going to help them at Able and now I belonged to the community too then Sam said that he and I could sneak a bat out and we could play baseball. The kids thought that was a good idea. We all ran over to the armory. The kids were giggling and I winked at Sam.

"Ok." I said and turned to everyone. "This is the plan. I'll get in through the window. If I motion like this, it means that someone is in there and I need you to get them out." I said. Truth be told, we probably could have just waltzed in and asked to borrow a bat, but this was more fun.

"Everyone got that?" Sam asked and the kids nodded. I looked over at the window and backed up a few paces. Then a took a breath and started at a fast paced run for the building, jumping up and grabbing onto the ledge. I hauled myself into the window ledge and peered in, cupping my eyes so I could see. Janine was in there with another women and a man.

Oh shit. This was a really bad idea. A REALLY bad idea. I swore and looked down. Sara and Evan were arguing with Janine about something that I couldn't quite make out. I swore at myself for being such a rebel and being so impulsive and motioned for the kids to do something. They all stood there laughing and whispering. I guess they were scared. What was all this for? A bat and a thrill? I should have just asked for a bat. Sam noticed the apparent trouble I was in and yelled.

"Umm...JANINE! I think that...I...ummm...er...broke something at the desk!" He screamed. He was a really bad liar. So now I was hanging onto the window with a bunch of little kids that were probably not supposed to leave the recreation center and Sam, who was desperately trying to get Janine out of the building.

"No now, Mr. Yao! Evan, Sara, and I are going over things!" She yelled back. He looked around.

"Now, Janine, It's a emergency. It's the...umm...scanner! That's it. Yes, the scanner is broken. I spilled beer on it." He said and Janine groaned and she and Evan and Sara all walked out. I breathed a little easier. Thank god for small miracles. The kids all laughed more and Sam showed them to the comms shack. Janine yelled at him a little for being irresponsible with the kids and Sam told her that he was showing them what the scanners did.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Yao, so when I shoot you in the head we'll have a line up of people to take your place." She snapped and I quickly yanked the window up and threw myself down. It was a light fall, but even that aggravated my cracked ribs. I swore and stood. Sam was arguing with Janine more and I grabbed the first bat I could find and threw it out the window and then flung myself out the window. Sam smiled at me and I laughed grabbing the bat and taking off. Janine was lecturing Sam and then flicked the scanner; naturally it worked the same as always.

"Oh, ya, Janine, forget it. I think it's fixed." Sam said. "Well, I'll see you around." He said and he and the kids took off, leaving Janine and Evan and Sara wondering what happened. I smirked and ran faster back to the rec. center. I don't think it was good of me to run on my day off, but that didn't stop me.

When I reached the building I had collapsed on the ground laughing. Sam and the kids followed me. Sam collapsed down next to me. "That. Was. So. Cool." He said and I laughed. We shared a smile and the kids just stood there giggling nervously. "I pissed Janine off." He said. "That's the best part." I stood up after a few minutes and looked over the kids.

"Ok, so who wants to play?" I asked. Everyone's little hand shot in the air. I counted off teams and made Thomas and Anthony the captains. Suzy told me that she didn't actually know how to play. I looked at Sam.

"No problem there!" He said cheerfully. "You can be on my team. You can be with the boys. We know what we're doing." He said and ruffled my hair.

"Are you implying that I don't?" I asked, playing along.

"Well, you're a girl and all..." He said. I scoffed.

"I'm a girl? I can also run like seven miles, Sam!" That was a major lie. I could run like two.

"Really, what does running have to do with baseball?" Sam asked. I cracked a smile.

"Were you that kid in your school who walked down to the 7-11 and bought comics then stayed up all night collecting Green Lantern power rings from the cereal boxes and making them light up?" I asked and Sam looked at the ground.

"Well, Green Lantern's ok and maybe I don't exactly play baseball...but I'll still beat you." He challenged and I shook him on it.

"You're on!" I said and grabbed the bat. "Because I'm such a prissy little girl. I get to bat first."

"Great then!" Sam said and he and his team of ten-year-old boys and Suzy took the outfield. Sam pitched the ball to me and I swear I was right about the whole green lantern thing.

"Hey, Sam!" I yelled. "Why don't you give it to the ten year old boys! They might have a better shot! Either that or pretend that your throwing the green lantern ball of energy at me!" I joked and he laughed.

"Yah... I'll take the first option." He said and tossed it to Thomas who pitched it to me perfectly. I slammed it to the outfield.

"Run for it! Go get it!" Sam laughed and everyone ran for it. I sped around the bases and slid into home, but I will admit that the kids put up a good fight and it has been a while since I played baseball but I spent my first twelve years in New York, though. I grew up with baseball. I always played with the boys. Well, my team beat Sam really bad, but I didn't rub it in. I liked Sam too much for that. Now maybe if it were Dr. Myers or Sara or Evan, but then again, they probably wouldn't have been out playing in the first place. This gave me a glimmer of hope for the human race. If we could still have fun in the middle of the zombie apocalypse then we could survive as a species, or at least as a town. We, yes, I included myself in the population of Able on day two. I cursed myself for being so trusting, but what else could I do?

The game went on until Suzy tripped and skinned her knee. Crap. The doctor was going to be pissed we were wasting her precocious medical supplies on a skinned knee.

"Ok, sweetheart. Calm down. It's ok. You're going to be ok. Just calm down and I'll get you a band aid." I promised and took the crying child into my arms. Sam watched me intently. I wanted to tell him to piss off and stop looking at me like that but there were little kids there. I calmed the little girl down and wiped the knee of with my tank top. It was white.

Wonderful.

I promised her that everything would be ok. She directed me to a cramped house and I carried her in. Her parents were going to hate me, like most everyone here. I kicked the door open and a woman walked over to the door. She was petite and slender with spiky and short blonde hair.

"Suzy! What did you do to yourself?" She asked and looked up at me. "You must be Runner Five. I'm so sorry if my daughter caused you trouble. She's a little firecracker." The women said. I smiled. Either she was being nice or she was pulling a Sara Smith.

"No trouble at all. Really, we were playing baseball and she fell. I didn't want to bring her to the hospital because I knew how scare medical equipment can be and it doesn't' look to bad." I said and the women nodded.

"Baseball? You were playing baseball?" She asked. I nodded. "Why our kids haven't done something like that since the last New Canton attack!" She exclaimed. "Things have been kind of grim around here, I mean with the whole end of the world." She laughed. "But baseball seems fun. Maybe we could all play sometime."

"Yah, a whole town-wide game, since the town is what? Sixty people, I think. I used to love baseball. I was surprised when none of the children played it here. I think that our rec center could use a little charm." I said and we smiled at each other. She seemed nice.

"I saw the work that you did, Runner. That was good today and the supplies that you brought the other day was good too." She said I thanked her and she took Suzy. "I'm Jody Cross. I'm a Runner too. Number Four to be exact." She said. I smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Jody. You can call me Brooklyn." I introduced. She nodded.

"Ok, well, I'll see you around, Brooklyn. Nice meeting you and thanks for taking care of Suzy. I hope we can go on a run together some time." She said and I thanked her and met Sam out. He had brought all the kids back home and told me that he had to go direct Runner Eight in a food run.

"I could go with her." I said. "If you want." Sam shook his head. I sighed secretly in relief. Really? I hated Runner Eight and I was glad that Sam wasn't making me go.

"No." He said and put a hand over my shoulder. "You'll be going on a fast run soon, probably tomorrow. The runners yesterday after the gate problem got those reports conformed. We have a kid wandering in no man's land and odds are is that it's scared and alone. I made up my mind as head of the Comms shack...office...desk...aw, whatever, I want you to be the runner to go and find the kid." He said. I was flattered, but also scared. Kids scared me. Especially dying kids and well, then there was Aidan.

"Sam-"

"Listen, to me, Five. Go in and get some sleep now, because I'm one hundred percent sure that you are the runner that I want to go and it's going to need to be done fast." He said and I nodded.

"Well thank you for trusting me." I said putting an emphasis on you. He smirked.

"Major DeSanta is not going to like your attitude. I mean, I'm fine with it, you're not like that to me, but she's not going to like it." He said.

"No one from the military likes my attitude and when people start to treat me like a citizen of Able Township, then I'll drop the attitude." I said bitterly and he smiled, passing me a box. I opened it up. It had three notebooks and two pens. I threw my arms around Sam.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed. "Thank you, this must have taken ages to get."

"Only one run, but private property is a no, so don't go spreading the word about what I did." He said and I nodded.

"Thank you, Sam. That's really nice." I said and we walked back to barracks together. There was a reason I liked Sam. He just understood me.

Sam looked up at the clock. Every few rooms had a working clock here at Able. In my few days here I made a game of counting the clocks. Yah, my games are kind of stupid, but still.

"Ok, you get some rest, Five." He said and I nodded.

"I'll be ready tomorrow." I said. "I'm real sorry I didn't want to go at first, Sam. I just...it's weird. You know, I had a brother and well he's dead and all." I said and Sam nodded.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Runner Five." Sam said. "We all have problems and we all have like PMSD." He said and I laughed.

"I think you mean PSTD." I corrected.

"Neither of you are right it's post traumatic stress disorder. PTSD." Dr. Myers said and she walked in. I rolled my eyes. She really pissed me off.

"Yah, whatever, well everyone here has it." Sam said and I nodded.

"Except me. I'm not crazy." I said and Sam sat down next to me.

"PTSD doesn't mean your crazy." Dr. Myers said. "It means that there is a chemical imbalance in your brain and your body is reacting with both physical, mental, and emotional symptoms." She said. Yah, and I totaly understood that. I thought sarcasticly. Sam stood up.

"On that bright and sunny note. I need to go make sure Runner Eight is able to get us food so we don't starve." He said and I turned around, walking out. I sat down and opened the notebook to a fresh page. Sam was officialy my favorite persion here. He was so kind and understainding. Running tomorrow was the least I could do, whether or not it made me feel strange and reminded me of Aidan. I bit back the fear and though it was only eight o'clock I lay down on my bed. Janine walked in just as Dr. Myers walked out.

"Hello, Runner Five." She said. I nodded at her.

"Hey, Janine." I said.

"Do you want me to see if I can get you out of that run tomorrow? Or maybe Eight could go with-"

"No!" I snapped and shot up. "I want to prove myself." I said. That and I hated Sara Smith officially.

"Ok, Five. Just watch yourself. If you feel emotionally attached to the child then it might be best for you to stay."

"I don't feel emotionally attached to the child, Janine." I hissed and she sighed.

"Ok, then, Five." Janine said and I smiled a weak smile at her. "I don't believe you." She said after a while. "You know, to be trusted you need to trust others, and I know it's hard, but really, Five, I also know how this mission is making you feel."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do. Listen, did you know this was my house before the outbreak?" She said and I nodded.

"Yah, Sam told me." I said. "Why don't you and Sam get along?" I asked, changing the subject.

"We have many differences in opinion. Now listen, Five. I have to go, but Sam and Sara should be back soon. Sam doesn't like to run night missions and it's getting dark." Janine said.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I need to speak with Evan about some tactic. I heard news about some things going on at New Brunswick. We're very friendly with them, Five. You try to rest up for tomorrow. It should be done fast and efficiently. If that child is bit-well, let's just say you're going to need to run and if that child's not bit then you're going to need to get back here fast." Janine said. I nodded.

"Ok, Janine." I said. She smiled a wry smile.

"And quite good planning with Sara, steering the zoms towards New Canton. Well done job, Five." She said and I thanked her, lying down in bed and thinking about things I miss. Reading books, and Jake and Aidan being the top of them. My mind kept thinking of different things, like a movie playing. I don't know how long I was lying there for but the door opened. Sara and Sam walked back in. I sat up.

"Hey there, Five!" Sam exclaimed and I smiled.

"Hey, Sam." I said and Sara gave us both the look of damnation. Or maybe that was the 'I've finally come around to you, I just had a hard day' look. Maybe it was the 'Brooklyn, I finally see what you can bring to the table' look. But knowing Sara it was the 'Sam, you can't trust a pretty girl who gets dropped in from Mullion's Base and Brooklyn, if you try anything I'll kill you in your sleep' look. I didn't know Sara well, but from what I did know about her, I was leaning towards the last one.


	8. Leave Them Becasue They Love Them

November 21st 2014

"Sam!" I hissed. "Come on, Sam! Wake up!" He didn't move. I groaned. He slept like a god damn rock.

"Why can't you just walk me back, Brooklyn?" Thomas asked. I wanted to snap back something along the lines of 'because it's three in the morning and people will shoot me, dumbass' but the Thomas was only eight and he had a horrible sleepwalking problem. This was the second distressed child that I was going to have to bring home. Boy was I going to be an easy hit with the parents.

"Thomas, come on, can't you walk home?" I asked, knowing damn well what the answer was.

"Brooklyn, I'm scared of the dark!" I was getting exasperated and fast. Aidan's death was only two week ago. It was still a fresh scar. I couldn't deal with this.

"Sam!" I snapped, trying again, but to no avail. I sighed and took my leather jacket out from under my head and shook it out then slipped on the ratty old black running shoes that I had carried out of the hospital with me. I lifted Thomas up and gave him my best smile.

"Five?" I herd a voice call.

"Sara..." I groaned. It was too early to pretend that I liked her.

"What are you doing, Five?" She asked me.

"Thomas sleepwalked over here and now I'm going to bring him home." I snapped. It was to early for this and Sara was getting on my nerves. She leaned over to Thomas.

"Is that right, honey?" She asked. I could have slapped her right there. Then she looked up and gave the damnation look. I gave it right back to her. I gave her the 'Sara, mind your own freaking business' look. Thomas nodded.

"Brooklyn is a fairy." He said. I stopped dead. My heart stopped dead too. I wanted to die.

"What?" Sara and I asked at the same time.

"Darry broke is arm and got put in the hospital. He was there when Brooklyn told James she was a fairy. Darry came out and told us." I made a mental note to find this Darry and tell him to keep his loud mouth shut. "He played baseball with us today, he was the tall one." Ok, maybe I wouldn't bug Darry. He was probably only twelve. Sara gave me a strange look and I groped for the door handle.

"Are you a fairy, Five?" She asked. My eyes narrowed into slits.

"Yes, in a matter of fact I am, Sara Smith and a damn good one too." I hissed at her. Tom giggled.

"That's not what Darry told me. Darry said they threw you out." I sighed. I liked Tom.

"They did, I'll tell you the story later." I said and groped for the door handle. Sara let me go.

"Can you teach me to run like the wind, Brooklyn?" He asked.

"Sure, someday you can I can run together." I whispered into the little boys ear and stepped out into the cold November air. I really didn't want to do this now, but I would for me and for Abel. I ran through what I would say to his parents.

Hey, I'm the new Runner Five. What did you say? The one that you think is going to trade all your secrets? Yah, that's me. Well, your son wandered into my sleeping area and now I don't know what to do. Oh, ok, sure I'll stay away from you for the rest of your life? You what? Want me to die in a hole? Yah, most of us probably will, but not you, of course not.

This was not the best way to make friends here at Abel. "Where is your house, sweetheart?" I asked and he pointed to an almost torn down brown one. Here at Abel, most people shared a house with friends and neighbors and sometime strangers, but there weren't a lot of strangers here at Abel. I sighed and knocked on the door.

Oh, I really did not want to do this.

The door opened. An older girl walked over. She looked about my age.

"Thomas? Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!" She exclaimed and took the boy out of my now limp arms. "I was so scared! I promised mom and dad that I'd take care of you and what do you do? Run off in the middle of the night? That's not ok!" She said. Then she turned to me.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"Hey, I'm the new Runner Five." I said. This was going exactly like I knew it would.

"The new one who was came in here?"

"The one and only." I said half sarcastically. She gave me the Sara Smith damnation look. I couldn't blame her. I would have done the exact same. I did do the exact same when Aidan was around.

"Get out of my house and stay away from my brother." The girl snapped. I would have slapped her, had I not known exactly how she felt. I just nodded and walked out. I could hear her telling the little boy to stay away from me.

Yah, why don't you and Sara Smith go have a picnic together? Then you can fantasize about my death and think of ways to get me out of your crappy little town.

I thought ruefully and opened the door to my barracks. Sam and Janine and Sara were all up and the light was on. Sam walked over to me.

"I herd about Tom." He said. "Good handling of the situation." He complemented.

"Whatever." I muttered and kicked my foot on the bed.

"Well, It's five o'clock. I want to get going by six. Would you like something to eat or do you want to sleep a little more?" He asked.

"Neither. I want to stretch and then you'll brief me on the details on the mission." I said. Janine got up.

"You are so contrary." She said. I turned around and looked Sara right in the eyes.

"You need to be when your-"

"Ok, ok." Sam said, playing peacekeeper and putting an arm around my shoulder. "Let's go, Brooklyn." He said and passed me a headset. I fastened it on my head like Evan showed me and then Sam tested it out. "Raise the gates! Covering fire! Runner Five, ready?" He said, but I wasn't ready. I was thinking about the tall blond girl I'd met with little Thomas. "Brooklyn, are you ready?" Sam asked and that got my attention.

"Yah, Runner Five ready." I said and Sam sighed.

"You sure, Five?"

"I'm ready now just go, Sam!" I snapped.

"Runner Five, go!" He exclaimed and I started out at a brisk jog towards no man's land and whatever little child had the misfortune of being stuck there.

"Ok, so fill me in." I said after five minutes of jogging.

"Well, we had the reports confirmed. There is a kid in no man's land. I know that the major says that everyone has to pull their weight and we can't take everyone, but I'm glad that we're all on board with not letting kids die from exposure." He said and I shuddered.

"I know, I know, kid zoms are the worst. It's sad to, Five. Sometimes when the parents get bit they ditch the kid to protect them and then run as far as they can." I gasped a little. My head had started to hurt. My pace slowed down until it stopped.

"They leave because they love them..." I trailed off.

"_Brooklyn!" I herd a voice call. I was not quite awake yet, but the urgency in the voice snapped me out of my dreams. "You need to run! Come on!" Jake said to me and pulled me out of bed. Aidan was already in Jake's arms. I buttoned the uniform blouse that they made us wear here. _

_ "Jake, what's wrong?" I asked frantically and took Aidan from him. _

_ "We're being attacked the entire place is chaos! The people are all locked in, us included, but we can get through the window, baby. Like we always do. Come on!" I expected his voice to be filled with urgency, but it wasn't his eyes danced with excitement and glee. I knew that he loved this. He loved to hear the military men that had us under an iron first scream. I loved him, but he was just as much of a sadist as they were. I guess that I was too. _

_ Jake wrenched the window off its hinges, not even caring about the people in the barracks with us. Together the three of us ran for the gate until I herd Private Gates yelling at us. _

_ "Stop! Stop or I shoot! Traitors! Deserters!" I could hear Private Gates yelling. Major Ivory was probably busy making sure that no one left. _

_ "Suckers!" Jake yelled and turned around, laughing. I was about to laugh with him, but my breath was cut short when a bullet came whizzing around and slammed into my neck. I gasped and grabbed at my neck. I spit out some blood and started to cough. Jake set Aidan down and pressed his hand to my neck, looking closer, before pulling me into his arms. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. How am I even alive right now? I thought and gasped for air, that didn't seem to be entering my lungs. "Grazed the jugular." Jake muttered. "I got to stop the bleeding." He started to run, Aidan following. "Come on, buddy." Jake said, his hand now red my blood. "We're busting out of here." He said and I was on the verge of unconsciousness and a death of choking on my own blood when I herd a scream. That one scream pierced a whole in my already shattered innocence and sanity. I wanted to scream and I have no doubt that I would have, had I not been vomiting forth my own blood. Aidan had fallen behind and was no one the ground coughing and convulsing. _

_ I could feel the tears slipping out of my eyes and suddenly before I could do or say anything, I felt myself fall to the ground. I was numb to the pain, but if I hadn't been I probably would have felt something. I saw Major Ivory standing there, out of the corner of my blurred eyes. _

_ "Damn it, Eight Four!" Major Ivory yelled. "We're under attack!" _

_ "You think I don't know!" Jake yelled back. _

_ "I think that if you completed your mission correctly and without the attitude we would never have had this happen!" _

_ "I think that if you treated us like humans then this never would have happened!" _

_ "Get your girl up and follow me or I swear I'll drag you back to barracks and leave her hear to die." Major Ivory hissed at him and Jake looked around then lifted me up again and with Major Ivory's hand on his arm followed the elderly military official to an all white confinement cell. "You'll wait here until this is all over and then I'll deal with your punishments." He said and the door slammed shut, locking us in an all white room. Jake applied pressure to the wound. _

_ "It's just a lot of blood. It's going to be ok." He promised and kept whispering to me. My vision had started to blur and all I could feel was Jake stroking my hair, telling me that it would be ok. He was a liar. Nothing would be ok. Nothing at all would be ok. Aidan was dead and I was going with him. I wished. I sat there begging for death. It would be better then the pain that I was living with now. _

_ Suddenly, the sound of the window breaking broke my blissful dreams of the peace that death would bring. I could see a zombie had made its way through the window. A crawler. Jake took me in his arms and looked around. The window was the only way out. I was dying. Jake could have thrown me and made a run for it. I would have happily died too, not just for him, but for the pain to cease. Jake kicked the crawler in the jaw, but not before the zombie bit Jake's ankle. Both Jake and I came crashing to the ground. The rest was a blur. _

_I tried to remember what happened that night so many times. All, I remember was his burning hands brushing some hair away from my head. "Brooklyn.." He muttered. I couldn't talk. "Baby, I got bit." He said. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I couldn't. "Be strong." He muttered and coughed harder then he kissed my lips gently._

_ "Jake..." _

_ "Survive this for me, ok? Don't let your hand off of that wound." He said, pressing my own hand to my neck. I could feel the blood seeping through my fingers. _

_ "Don't leave me here. Please.." _

_ He kissed my lips gently. "Neither the angels in the heavens above nor the demons down under the sea could ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabelle Lee." He whispered. "Don't be scared, be strong, Brooklyn. I love you and you made the time we had here bearable. You helped me stay sane and if I could do it over I wouldn't do a thing different." _

_ "D-D-Don't go..." I muttered. "Take me with you..." I trailed off. It would have been better then the pain here. He shook his head and without warning got up and ran off into the setting sun. That was the last time I ever saw him or Aidan. _

"Yes, Five, they leave them because they love them." Sam said. His voice pierced my daydream and brought me back to reality. Mission to rescue child. I thought and touched my neck. I still had a scar from the bullet.

As it turned out, shock was my biggest problem and the bullet had only grazed my jugular, not pierced it. Major Ivory told them to take care of me and make sure I lived through the night. God knows why, but they tried to brainwash me again. They told me that he killed me and that he abandoned me, but I knew the real story. I never stopped and I vowed that I'd continue trying to bring them down at Mullin's Base, for Jake, even if it meant dying myself.

"Have you ever seen someone you love die, Sam?" I asked. He gulped. I could tell it was a sore subject, but I needed to know.

"Yah, Alice. She was amazing and she died, well, I blamed myself. I mean, when she came hear from the military, she was in a pretty sorry shape; beat up and all. She had this god damn- never mind. What about you, Five?" He asked. I was walking now. I didn't want to run anymore.

"I lost my brother and my parents. Also, my boyfriend." I said and Sam sighed.

"You never know just how much you care for someone until they're gone, or close to being gone. Anyways, if you don't mind me asking how did you lose your family?" Sam said.

"My parents to tuberculosis and my boyfriend and brother both went gray." I whispered. "Sam, don't you worry about asking me anything. If I can ask you about Alice, you can ask me about my life."

"Speaking of zoms, you have three behind you. You might want to pick the pace up a little, Five." He said and I started you run. "I once saw a kid go zom in under five minutes, parents watching. Kids always change faster."

"Yah, can we change the subject?" I asked. "If I have three on my tail I want to have a clear head." I muttered and Sam coughed.

"Sure." He said. "Do you want me to just give to controls to Janine? I mean, I would-"

"No, not at all. I like you, Sam. Just talk about something different."

"Yah, probably a good idea for us all. So, first mission by yourself, Five. Exciting."

"Nerve-racking."

"Still, I'm lucky to have found a new runner so fast. I mean, I knew someone was coming in on that chopper, but I didn't expect them to stay. Guess your people don't want to send back for you, after that whole rocket launcher thing."

"What happened with that?" I asked. "Do you know who fired?"

" I'll tell you the truth, we're nowhere near figuring out what happened. Didn't come from New Canton, didn't come from us. Didn't come from the city, only walking dead there and the day they learn to use rocket launchers we'll all have a problem." He said and I laughed a little. "I think it came from the woods. Kind of where you're headed today." Sam said. I stopped running. Thanks, Sam, for making me feel so secure and safe on my first real mission Maybe you should learn to shut up. I thought. Sam's scanners must have picked up that I stopped because he quickly backtracked. " You'll be fine. You're tough and strong and all." He said, but I can tell that the fact that it's my first mission is scaring him. "You've made quite the name for yourself here, Brooklyn. That whole thing with the zoms and New Canton really made the town buzz. Evan was impressed."

"Were you?" I asked. That was really all that mattered. I thought. If Sam was proud of me and thought that I did good work then Evan and Sara and Dr. Myers could shove it up their ass.

"Course I was! That was great running, Five." He said. I smiled.

"Then thank you." I said and smiled a little to myself. His praise made me glow. He must have been pretty worried about digging up bad memories because he kept on babbling about how sensational I was.

I didn't mind too much.

"Sam, you don't know what it means to me that you believe in me." I said. That was all the truth. He gave me a warm laugh but crying on my end cut off our heartwarming conversation.

"Sam, you hear that?" I asked.

"Yup, Five. You have three zoms behind you but something else coming from the front." Suddenly I saw a little girl. She couldn't have been more than two, maybe younger. I ran over and lifted her up gently. Sam's scanners were right, no sooner had I lifted up the crying child than I saw a man ridding in on a motorbike. My eyes widened. Are you kidding me now?

"Sam, what do I do?" I asked, desperately standing up. He could be the brain.

"RUN! Just run, Brooklyn! Don't stop!" I don't know who that is but just run!" He yelled. I started at a fast jog towards Abel. I hated to lead dirt bike man back but we had snipers and I couldn't hold a fast pace like this for more than a mile. I looked back once,

Motorbike guy had on a leather jacket and ripped jeans with no helmet. His face was scratchy and had the forming of facial hair, but no real beard. He reminded me of some guy that wrote books I used to read to my brother.

I forget his name, but he looked like an axe murder.

That was the last time I ever read Aidan a book by him.

I cussed myself out and turned around. "Sam!" I yelled into the headset. The noise of the dirt bike was getting louder and ringing in my ears.

"Brooklyn, put on a burst of speed now! He's almost on top of you!" Sam said franticly. Was he scared for my life? Did he care? It didn't matter. I listened to him and propelled myself farther forward at such a rapid pace I might have given Evan a run for his money.

Not really.

Evan would have been back at Abel right now. I pushed myself on, holding the sobbing child closer to me. I didn't dare to look behind me for fear of tripping or stopping.

"Put that child down!" I herd motorbike guy yell.

"Keep running." Sam coaxed. "Come on, Five."

"Put that child down and leave her for me!" The man hollered. I bit my lip. No was I going to let the innocent baby girl die at the hands of exposure or axe murder/motorbike guy.

"When all of hell freezes over!" I screamed in back and pushed myself on, trying to forget about the blisters and my hurting feet.

"Keep going." Sam coaxed.

"Leave her for me! I know you're just trying to help, but put her down!" He screamed. That struck a little confusion in my head. I slowed me down. He was a craft axe murderer. "Molly? Molly? It's ok. Daddy's here." He said.

"Yahhh, about that..." Sam said. He seemed kind of speechless. I stopped. Axe murder/motorbike rider did too.

"I'm Ed Harrison and that's my daughter, Molly. I know you're just trying to help, but give her to me so we can go home." He said. If it was the streets of New York or Mullin's Base, I would have kicked him in the shins and made a run for it, but I wasn't in Mullin's Base or New York. I was in the post apocalyptic world of what used to be our society. I gave the axe murder the little baby and waited. He took out a toy. "See? I got Mr. Rabbit!" He said, dangling a toy in front of the baby and laughing with her. "You guys are Abel Township, huh?" He asked.

"I'm Runner Five." I introduced.

"They said we should join up with you guys, but Becca and I had a farmhouse a couple of miles down." He said. "You know I have time to give you a lift back to Abel if you want." He said. I smiled. That was a kind offer. I felt a little bad about calling him a axe murderer. A little.

"No thank you, I'll run." I said and suddenly I heard static on my headset.

"Brooklyn! Do you copy? You're not moving on my scanners and you're not in my camera range. Come on, Five!" Sam said.

"I'm right here, Sam. Did I give you a fright?"

"A horrible one. Don't ever do that again. God, you and Sara are more alike then you'll ever know." He said. I laughed a little.

"Oh, no, oh crap. Brooklyn, I see three zoms heading for you at a fast pace. I think they're sprinters. You should be able to outpace them if you head out now." I swore and turned to Ed.

"We have three zombies coming after us. I have to get back to Abel." I said and Ed looked around.

"Get on the bike, Runner. I'll take you back." He said. I wasn't going to argue. I was tired as hell. I jumped on and wrapped my arms around Ed's torso. He tried to gun the engine. It wouldn't start. I could see the zoms through a cluster of trees now.

"Brooklyn!" Sam exclaimed. "Get out of there now, please!" He begged. I herd another voice arguing with him. Janine. She must have grabbed the microphone. I took the headset off.

"Runner Five, you think this is a game? You think this is funny? Does it give you a thrill? Get out of there NOW!" She hissed. Sam grabbed it back.

"Come on, Janine! Get out of here!" He snapped. "I can run my own missions!" He snapped. "Five, three more have joined the packs all shambelers that's six total. Get out of the woods now and head back to Abel. You have the whole thing worked out. Come on home!"

"I am! What do you think I'm trying to do?" I hissed. "What do you want, Sam?"

"You back alive!" Sam snapped at me. Ed gunned the engine again.

"Damn it!" He swore. So much for giving me a easy way out.

"Ditch the bike and let's run!" I screamed and Ed looked around. "Come on! We can make it back to Abel. It's only about a mile!"

"I know a fuel dump about a half a mile from here. If you help me carry some back for the bike you can keep some for Abel." Ed told me.

"No!" Sam exclaimed. "Get out of there, Five!"

"Of course." I said and Ed and I started out at a steady jog. We reached a clearing and what I saw made my jaw drop. Shit. It was a rocket launcher. Ed didn't seem to notice my distress.

"I saw some guys in blue uniforms out here the other day and look, they left their rocket launcher!" He said. I breathed a little faster and grabbed Ed's arm, but only after he grabbed the launcher. "It might be worth something." He said and we both took off towards the fuel dump again, to my near obvious relief.

"So I guess you're wondering how Molly got all the way out there. I don't even know. Becca and I have a farm. I went out hunting one day and I made noise. When I cam back zombies were surrounding the farm I had to take them all down and it took me three days to get out and back to Becca, but by then she had left. She told me that she was heading to Abel. If she got bit and, well, left Molly, then I guess what was the last thing she could do to protect her daughter." Ed seemed sad so I decided to drop the topic. We reached the fuel dump and I radioed over to Sam.

"Hey, Sam, I'm still alive." I said in the most upbeat tone I could muster.

"And thank god, Brooklyn. I got Janine, gone so we can get you out of there and back to Abel safe and sound." He said. I sighed. Good. "I don't even have you on my scanner let alone my camera, what's going on?" He asked. I knew how desired fuel was. Even back at my base it was worth it's weight in gold. I wanted it to be a surprise. I took three canisters of red fuel and hauled them onto my back.

"I don't know, Sam. Why don't you call Sara in here and we can see what conspiracy theories she can drive herself crazy coming up with?" I said. Sam laughed at that one.

"Ok, just be home soon, Five." He said and I nodded. Ed and I grabbed as much fuel as we could carry and started at a run back for the bike.

"I'll fuel her up, will you hold Molly and run with her?" He asked and I nodded, taking the baby in my arms. She was laughing now.

"You trust me with your daughter?" I asked, shocked. Ed nodded.

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?" I laughed a little, probably not helping my case.

"No, I'm just shocked is all. Not many people around these parts like me." I said and Ed nodded.

"I just think that the way you helped with the fuel was really nice and you could have ditched us. I herd that boy on the radio begging you to come back. You could have left us." Ed pointed out.

"I got good vibes from you. Offering me the ride back was cool." I said and Ed and I smiled. I took off with Molly in my hands. I walked around; to tired to run any farther and figuring that we'd lost the zombies. Sam radioed in to me.

"Hey, Five! Zombies are not longer on your trail. Your back on my scanner." He said. I smiled.

"Good, I should be heading back soon so I can come home and cry in my barracks as I get nostalgic, if that's even the right word."

"I don't know what that means so I don't know if it's a word, but-hey! I got you on my cameras now!" He exclaimed. "Damn, I've never been so happy to see your face, Brooklyn."

"I only wish I could see yours, Sam. You got a minute?"

"I have an hour until your supposed to be back and then Runner Six is going out for a tech run. You can sit in with me if you need to talk." He said. "What you got in your hands? Is that fuel? Well, you're just getting more and more popular around here, Five." He exclaimed.

"Want to tell that to Sara Smith and her 'Brooklyn is a spy' fan club?" I snapped.

"Who is in this 'fan club'?" Sam asked.

"Sara, and Evan, and Dr. Myers, and-"

"Stop, stop, stop. We've been through this twice. I trust you. People are coming around, Brooklyn. Just believe me. You'll be great here."

"Yah, I'm just a little stressed. I feel like the-"

"Hate to interrupt, Brooklyn, but you have two sprinters behind you and they're gaining! God damn, where did they come from?" Sam wondered. I started at a run. "Go faster, come on!" Sam yelled. I pushed myself forward harder, until I felt my face collide with the ground. Molly was on the ground too, crying and screaming. I turned around and kicked on of the zombies in the jaw.

"Get away from that runner!" I herd Ed call and drive over. He took them both out with the back of his bike and then grabbed Molly of the ground in one fluid motion. I turned over and panted on the ground. My head was hurting and this time i think it was from the fall. Ed helped me up. "Well I guess you guys at Abel will be using my fuel dump now." He said. I scoffed.

"If I don't get voted off the island for disobeying orders and getting the fuel in the first place." I said. Ed smiled.

"They won't vote you off the island. The man on the radio seemed hot for you." I laughed at that one.

"Sam!" No, no." I said and chuckled a little. Ed sighed.

"Deny anything you want, but trust me, if you don't let the people you care about know, then you'll never get to. I didn't tell Becca I loved her before she-well, I guess she could be alive. Anyways, I still don't want to go back to that house. I suppose you can use a decent mechanic there." Ed told me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that Sam was only a friend. He seemed so crushed about this Becca. I just nodded at him.

"That guy just took out two zoms with the back of his bike! Tell him we'll take him." Sam exclaimed over transmitter. I nodded at Ed and grinned. He laughed.

"Ok, so I have Molly up front with me and the fuel in the back, but I'm really sorry, there's no room for, well, I guess you'll have to run!" He said. I smiled.

"I'll race you back to base. If you can beat me you can have my rations for a week!" I exclaimed and took off at a running start.

As it turns out I didn't beat Ed, but Sam let us both in and some people rolled their eyes at me, but for some reason they liked Ed better. I guess he was less threatening. Either way, some people told me good job after I gave Janine the fuel and she patted me on the back, making sure that everyone knew who brought in the fuel. I guess Ed saw what it meant to get the town's approval because he didn't say a word to anybody about his part in finding the dump. I was really grateful for that. Sam and I walked over to the comms shack after and I sat down on the floor.

Ed was being settled in by every woman over the age of twenty, who apparently didn't think he looked like an axe murderer.

"So, you wanted to talk?" He asked. I nodded.

"Just really overwhelmed is all and I've been thinking a lot about what you said about appreciating people while they're around so I wanted to tell you thanks for everything. If it weren't for you. I'd be dead by now." I said and he smiled.

"And you've spiced up my life a whole lot, Five. Kind of filled a void that, you know...umm...er... Alice left." He said. I knew the feeling. "I mean after she died, I felt like I failed. It was a hard feeling, Five, but keeping you alive would be like a second chance, almost." I thanked him. He smiled at me a bit and I laughed and looked down.

"Well, for both our sake's don't blow your second chance." I joked. He laughed.

"I'll try not to." He said and turned to face him.

"Sam, Ed and I found a rocket launcher in the woods." I said. It really just came out.

"Really?"

"Yah, he brought it back. Janine is going psycho over it." I said and groaned. Sam chuckled.

"You know, we're not going to worry about that. I'm going to do my job and you'll do your and Janine can do hers and, I'll pray that she follows the same philosophy but that won't happen anytime soon." I laughed out loud.

"What's tomorrow?" I asked.

"Nothing for you. You did good work these past two days. I remember who does good work, Brooklyn." Sam said. I smiled and yawned. I think I might have fallen asleep on the floor of the Comms. Station for a second time, but in all honesty, I didn't' mind too much. Sam had another runner to set out with. I glanced at the clock. Five. It took me the entire day. I didn't mind though. I was too tired to think anything of it. I felt safer here with Sam then with Sara, but then again Sam didn't give me looks of damnation and tell me that I crashed my own chopper.

No wonder I liked him better.


	9. For The Human Race

November 23rd 2014

Did you know sleep depravation could kill you? Eventually after many horror ridden nights of lying awake and staring at your ceiling and waking Sam up at three in the morning with labored breathing and sometimes occasionally, and yes I say sometimes, tears. I'm not saying I have sleep issues. I'm just saying that anyone here at Abel could.

Well, they told me the dangers of not sleeping at Mullin's Base. They'd tell me that after they caught me tossing the pills they gave us to sleep. I hate so say it but I think this might be the first time that they're right about something. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open and harder to run faster. My eyes were often glassed over and my headaches became a constant thing. The only thing I had to do yesterday was go on a quick food run with Evan. Of course, he made everything harder than it needed to be, but it was still easy work.

This morning was by far the hardest morning yet. Sam was away working at the comms desk and Janine was at the armory. Ed and Molly were nowhere in sight so it was sit with Dr. Myers or Sara.

Or shoot myself in the head, but that would waste a bullet.

I sighed and sat there, next to Dr. Myers and some other people I didn't know well, with vacant, glazed over eyes, staring at the teacup with a ripped tea bag in it.

"You know, Brooklyn, I might have something to help you sleep." Dr. Myers said. Why she continued to offer me things was beyond my comprehension.

"No!" I snapped. "There is no way in all of hell that I would ever take anything you gave me." I snapped. My mind was so clouded.

"You know I had a girlfriend that would drink a cup of-" I cut her off by standing up and walking out.

"Whatever." I muttered under my breath and walked away. Yah, great comeback.

I was frustrated and hurting all over. Why was I scared to take Tylenol? It seemed stupid, but something about the little pills and feeling them slide down your thought made me want to squirm and cry.

I took it the first day I was here when Sam gave it to me. No, that didn't count. I was scared and probably already drugged up. Never again. I would never, ever, ever take something that could hurt me again. I left that behind at Mullin's.

After storming out of the dinning hall, I herd footsteps flowing me. My hair flipped to the other side, as I whipped around to see Ed Harrison standing there, his baby daughter in his arm.

"Sorry, did I scare you, Runner?" He asked. I shook my head. Lie.

"Just a little." I admitted after a few minutes. He nodded. It was a little awkward.

"That was some fast running. You saved me and Molly." He said. I shrugged. "You're a hero."

"I'm not a hero, I'm a runner and anyone who knows right from wrong would have done the same. I'm just doing the right thing." I muttered.

"Are you all right?" He asked.

"No, I feel like crap. I haven't slept well in god knows how long."

"Have you ever tried singing?" He asked. Are you kidding me? I must have cracked a smile at that. "No, I'm not kidding. When Becca would have a hard time getting Molly to be she would sing to her." Ed told me.

"Yah, well, Molly is a baby." I said and turned away. Ed followed me back to my barracks.

"What's your name, Runner?" He asked.

"Brooklyn Harker." I said and he nodded, smiling again. How anyone could look so happy during Armageddon had escaped me, but Ed's attitude was a comfort.

"How did you learn to run like that?" He asked.

"Trust me, when you get chased by someone on a dirt bike and a swarm of zombies, you'll run too." I said. Ed rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"So, did you talk to the radio operator? Becca always said that you should never give up on anything." He said, sighing and sitting down on my bed. I wanted to tell him to piss off, but he seemed heartbroken about this Becca and I wasn't cruel enough to break him now.

"I did. He's one of my best friends here." My only friend here, I mentally corrected. Without warning, the speaker started to blare. Janine's voice was chiming on it.

"Runner Five! This is of the uttermost importance! You need to report to the main gate now!" She snapped over intercom. I was used to Janine snapping, but something seemed different this time. I turned to Ed.

"That's my cue. I have to run." I said and snatched my headset adjusting it and flicking it on, when I arrived at the gates.

"Runner Five, I'm sorry to call you like this, but I don't know who else to call. Everyone is busy. Now, there is a town to the east called New Brunswick. I need you to just run. I'll get the gates open. How does this go? Raid the gates! Covering Fire! And go!" She yelled. I ran out into the open. Janine never asked if I was ready. I liked Sam better. "Ok, Brunswick used to-Oh my god, how does Mr. Yao run the place like this?" She hissed. I herd the door the comms office open.

"What do you think you're doing, Janine!" Sam yelled. "Get out of my chair, get away from my microphone and, I thought we had a deal! I stay away from your house and you stay out of my comms office."

"I had urgent business that needed to get attended to. Runner Five is out and I need her to-"

"So urgent that you couldn't find me!"

"Yes! The fire in Brunswick has attracted a whole swarm of zombies, except they don't know because they're comms are down." She hissed. There was a pause on the other end.

"Oh, um...yah...that is kind of important." He said and I stopped. I couldn't do this if they were fighting. "Ok, so this is kind of a urgent mission. It's really. important."

"They mean the same thing." Janine teased.

"Anyways, Brunswick is a settlement to the east and they used to be Brunswick technology park-"

"Until the fire." Janine cut in. Shit. I hated fires.

"Yah, thank you, Janine. I was getting there.

"Well, they're being attacked by zombies and they had this tower that controls they're communications-"

"Until the fire happened last night and now-"

"Go away, Janine!" Sam snapped. "Last night, they had a fire, as Janine has told you, and their comms are down. We need to warn them about the swarm. You need to run to Brunswick and evacuate the town." Sam said. Easy enough, if I could make it there.

"What do you need me to do?" I asked, ready to take the army of zombies by myself. Just then I herd static on my communicator. "Sam, what's going on?" I hissed.

"Five, you have company." He said. I swore and whipped around looking. "No, this time it's the good kind. I think it's the runner we sent out this morning. I'll check for you." Sam said and I could hear papers ruffling. I made a mental note to personally organize all those goddamn papers and I hated organizing. "I'm pretty sure, that's Runner Six." He said and then I herd more papers. "Oh, wait, that's defiantly Runner Four...crap...there's something on the paper. I can't find the log."

I guess paper clips were non-existent in the apocalypse.

I made another mental note to find some for Sam when I went out on a supplies run.

My communicator made a snapping sound and then it crackled a little and I herd the one runner I really didn't want it to be.

"Five? Listen, It's me, Runner Eight, Listen real close, I moved all of the people from Brunswick to the hill. Do you copy, Five?" She asked. I didn't want to copy. I really, really, didn't want to copy. I wished Sara smith would just go away forever out of my life, but evidently, that was no going to happen. I turned my headset on.

"I hear you, Sara. We need to get them to the north barracks, away from the fire and zombies. We can't organize this over headset. Where are you?" I asked.

"Why so you can bomb me with a rocket launcher?" She snapped. She was really asking for it.

"No, so we can work together to save these people! Come on, Sara! I'm all you have right now. Your communicators down and you can only get to me. I'll tell Sam your ok. I'll come to the vantage points at the hill."

"Roger that, Five. I have the people up on the hill. The zoms are heading for us. Don't you bring any friends from Mullin's Base." She warned. I bit back an eye roll.

"I don't have any friends at Mullin's Base." I hissed and hit the hill within the ten-minute mark. I could see Sara standing up there. I ran up.

"Ok, Five, there are people camped on the hill for at leas about a-" She was cut off by her coughing. I was almost worried about her, just because it she couldn't pull through then I don't know if I could do this alone. "We need to get these people back to Brunswick. The fire is safer then the zombies. We'll bring them to the east barracks." She said. I shook my head.

"Better to get them to the zombies and take a chance with the guns and barbed wire." I was part of the team? I could offer my input on anything I wanted. She rolled her eyes at me. Oh, I wanted to kill her. I didn't have time for this. "Look, Sara, I'll warn the people and you go secure the barracks. You might not be able to get to Sam but you can get to me."

"Oh, that'll help me, Five." She hissed.

"Sara! We don't have time for this! You don't have to like me, but this is probably one fourth of the worlds population and unless you want them to die off, I'd run for the barracks and forget me!" I yelled, gesturing widely.

I don't know when or why, but suddenly this had become more than a quest for Sam's approval or for the town's approval. I had become a survivor. I always was and I needed to keep the human race going.

Sara looked around dubiously, but went. I waited for ten minutes and I could see the mob approaching. I couldn't send anyone anywhere without knowing if the barracks were secure. Just as I was about to complain to Sam about how irresponsible Sara was I herd a static crackle on my headset.

"Ok, Five, I'm here." My heart started to beat faster. Lives depend on me. Jake was good under pressure. I was not. My breath had started to come a bit short. "Do you hear me, Five?" Sara asked. "Send them over!" My one memory right now was eighth grade history class when we learned about the American Revolution. Paul Revere, in my opinion was a wimp. He got caught halfway and there were two other guys who didn't get caught. Why Revere got all the credit escaped me. All he did was get his ass caught by the very same British he was warning everybody about and ride a stupid horse.

I wish I had a horse.

Taking off, across the green towards the first settlement of people, I herd Sam's voice on my headset.

"Well, this is really confusing, Five. What happened?" He asked. I took a deep breath, taking care to not slow down my pace.

"Sara' out here and we're going to bring the people over to the north barracks. You just sit tight, Sam. We got this under control." I reassured him. He groaned.

"You never say that, Five. Never ever, ever, ever, say that."

"Just don't worry about us, Sam. Please." I said.

"Five?" It was Sara. As much as I hated her, she couldn't reach Sam at Abel. Only me and we were a team right now.

"What's up, Sara?"

"You need to get those people over here! Speed up!"

"You two make quite the team." Janine mused. Sam cut in.

"Brooklyn, these people are counting on you to save them, I'm sure if the major were here she would have something stirring to say, but she's not so-"

Sara cut in. "These people will all die if you don't pick up your pace. Better run faster, Five."

No pressure.

I reached the first settlement of people. "There are zombies coming! Head to the north barracks! Go! Now!" I cried out and they took off down the hill. "Sent the first group over, Sara. That fast enough for you?" I jeered.

"No, it's not, Five, but if that's the best you can do..." She said. I pressed myself faster. Sara was not going to manipulate me like that.

"These people are counting on you. Better run faster, Five." I mocked. Who in all of hell's name did she think she was? "Don't screw it up, Five." I warned seven more groups and then radioed into Sam. He sighed with relief.

"Ok, Five. Excellent job so far. Only one more group, but they see the zombies so if you just tell them where to go, you can run down to where Sara is and- Good they see you motioning. Ok, head down now." Sam sighed. "I'm glad you two are going to be ok."

"Oh my god that's Mr. Jones!" I heard Janine exclaim. "Oh, thank god you got him out, Five!" She cried. Sam scoffed good-naturedly and the joking demure almost made me think I was out of grave danger and I could slow down.

"Are those tears, Janine?" He asked. I laughed too. Janine? Crying? The two words didn't go. She seemed flustered.

"What? No! Just thinking sensational thoughts about Runner Five. Amazing work today, Brooklyn Brunswick is very important to the way Abel runs you've done more than you'll ever know." She said. Yes, her voice sounded shaky.

"And Mr. Jones is safe." Sam coughed. I smiled a cocky smile and started to laugh.

"Oh, shut up, Mr. Yao. It's not like you'll ever-" She cut herself off.

"Go on, Janine. I'm listening." He taunted good-naturedly.

"You are impossible, Mr. Yao. Brooklyn, sensational job, come home now. You and Sara can risk it on coming back to Abel or you can shelter behind barracks for a little."

Neither. I got an idea just then. It was a crazy stupid and completely irrational idea, but still an idea that would earn me town cred.

And get Sam Yao his paper clips.

"Sara?" I asked over radio.

"I hear you, Five. Everyone is here and safe."

"I'll give you three choices. One, two, or three, and you can tell me what you want. They're for what we do next." I said playfully. I could see the look of damnation forming over her radio. "Pick one." I coaxed.

"Two." She said carefully.

"Ok, so here's how we can do this, Sara. I think that we can lose this herd by driving them into the lake near Abel, then we can loot the little convince store and-"

"No, no, no, you don't." Sam chimed in. Sorry, Sam, but I'm getting you those paper clips.

"Sam, come on. It's like less then half a mile from Abel and if Sara-"

"I think it's a fine idea, Sam. We have been running low on food." Sara chimed in. I guess that was her IOU from when I stuck up for her and her New Canton idea.

Or she wanted to talk to me about my base more.

Or she wanted to take me head off with a huge rock.

Either way, I was getting what I wanted to I was in no place to complain. I took off towards the hill and met up with Sara.

"Let's do this, come on, we got this in a bag. It'll be easy." I said giving her my smile.

"Don't be so conceited, Five. It'll get you killed." She warned. I laughed.

"And you would have such a objection to that, Eight." I scoffed.

"It will, honey I know I'm right."

"The only thing that'll get me killed, is you and Evan and Dr. Myers teaming up to poison me in my sleep." I quipped back. "And never call me honey again."

"We care about you at Abel. I'd hate to see you killed, HONEY."

"Leave me alone, Sara. We all know that you'd love to see me killed, so shut your trap and stop it." She probably decided not to argue with me anymore and we both headed for the lake and store.

"You want to get the supplies and I'll run decoy?" I asked then snidely added; "Honey." I've asked her not to call me that and she still did, so let's see how she likes it.

"I'll run interference for you, Five. You had the longer run. Go get the supplies." She said and I certainly was not about to argue with her. She took off faster to the lake. I snuck around the herd and made it to the store. I kicked the door open and hesitated.

"Sam? Do you have cameras here? Am I clear?" I asked.

"You're clear, Five." He told me and I entered the store and shoved packages of dried food into my bag that they forced us to carry all the time. I then ran to the back and grabbed bottled water and some first aid kits. I was about to exit when I looked into the toy isle. I grabbed some tubes of bubbles and a real baseball. I ran into the supplies isle and laughing, took ten boxes for Sam. Janine was going to get a kick out of this. Sara called in to me.

"Ok, Five. I got most of them in the lake. Get anything good?" She asked. I was still angry with her.

"Things to help me take down the human race." I muttered.

"That's not even funny to joke about." Sara snapped. I cracked a smile and met up with her outside the store.

"We make a good team, Eight." I said and she narrowed her eyes.

"We should talk more, Five. I'll be watching." She murmured. If I had a penny for every time someone, or even just Sara, gave me that look, I'd be rich, not like being rich helped you in the middle of Armageddon, but it was the truth.

"Ok, you two head back now." Sam said.

"Sensational work! Both of you! I mean, really wonderful work, Five. I'm so proud of you. The work you do really shows how much you care about the town." Janine said, probably still happy about this mysterious Mr. Jones, that I'd ask her about later.

"Say, Brooklyn, how would you feel about going for another run tomorrow?" He asked. I nodded, filled with newfound electricity.

"I'd love to, Sam. What do you need me to do?" Sara and I both stopped to catch our breaths and listen to Sam.

"I was thinking that you and Evan could go scope out the chopper. We might find something useful." He said. I really didn't want to go back, but if it would make the rest of the town warm up to me, then so be it.

"Ok, when do we set out?" I asked, monotone. This was going to be hard.

"Ten. I want to be back sooner rather then later because Evan-

"Why don't you have Evan do what he needs to do. I'll go with her, Sam." Sara said. I could have slapped her. No way no how. I would have preferred kind of hot and mysterious Seven, freaky and untrusting or not. Anyone but Sara. She was going to spend the whole way there spouting off conspiracy theories and the whole way back she'd be talking about how I burned all evidence.

"Well, I don't know..." Sam trailed off. I gave Sara a look. You know what? She wants to come? Fine. Let her. It wasn't going to hurt and it most certainly wasn't going to help. I was a big girl. I could handle myself.

"Let her, Sam. She and Evan are pretty much in the same boat about me." I hissed and Sam seemed unsure still.

"Just head home now, guys." Sam said and we did.

In silence.

I was worrying about tomorrow. If Sara wanted evidence of my guilt she could find it, whether it there or not. She was probably fantasizing about my death right now.

"Pleasure running with you." I muttered and went of to find Ed so I could complain about Sara. Sara squinted like she had a bug in her eye. That was the damnation look.

I was going to start calling it the bug eye look.

"I can't wait for tomorrow, Brooklyn." She said putting the emphasis on what she probably didn't believe to be my real name.

I damn bet you can't, Sara Smith.


	10. Forget Me Not

November 24th 2014

My hand was shaking. If I could remember what a hangover felt like it, this would be what it felt like. My head killed. Sam had come in to wake me up.

"Morning, sunshine!" He exclaimed and sat down next to me. I turned over to face him and look in his eternally excited and dancing eyes. He always seemed to make the best of a bad situation. I was jealous of that ability. He was the god damn sunshine, not me.

"Sunshine?" I questioned. He laughed a little.

"You're the sun here at Abel as of that last few days! Decoy with those zombies as we fixed the gate, all that supplies, Brunswick, you know, sunny things!" I sat up.

"If I'm the sun, what does that make you, Sam?"

"I don't know! The moon, maybe? Oh, what if I be the stars? Or a planet?"

"How about you be the sun and I'll be the storm cloud." I muttered and he smirked at ne, handing me my clothing. I lay back again.

"Why do we need to do this, Sam?" I asked. I asked and he sighed.

"I need to stop the town from worrying about...well...you and if this is the way to do it then, I'm sorry, I have to." He said. I looked down. He pushed my head up so I was looking at him. "You know, I really am sorry, but it's my job." I turned to him. He wouldn't let anything happen to me. I thought and slipped on the black jacket and yellow running shorts.

I had three changes of clothing, like most at Abel and none of them were particularly stylish, but this was the apocalypse, not a James Bond movie. At least that's what I thought until I went to the main gate and saw Sara. Are you kidding me? I thought and turned to Sam.

"You have got to be kidding me." I scoffed. Sara was standing there freshly washed, her red hair was tired back in a tight ponytail and her usually black running shorts and green shirt were gone. Today she wore all black. She looked like James Bond or a member of the A Team. I could not believe she dressed up for this.

She was dressed like this was some top-secret military operation. It was then that I realized one thing; good team or not, I couldn't stand Sara Smith. I mean, I really hated her more than anyone else here. Why did she have to be so god damn annoying?

"Sam! She's going to kill me! Honest! She is!" I exclaimed and gestured at Sara. He took my hand and looked at me. I was really getting annoyed at him.

"You'll be fine, Brooklyn. Just remember, stay calm and keep running." I took a deep breath and walked over to Sara.

"Hello, Mr. Bond." I snapped. "Ready for a adventure? You going to take me out when no one's looking? I have a bad shoulder still and my stomach is still killing from my falls. If you deliver a quick kick to the stomach, then you should be able to take me out pretty soon. What'll you tell the town?" I hissed. Bug eye look.

Ok, I'll fess up, I asked for it that time.

"Keep that attitude in check, Five." She barked.

"Are you military? Because-"

"In a matter of fact, I am." She snapped. That changed a lot. It made me hate her even more. I didn't like military officials. I herd Sam's voice over headset.

"Ok! Brooklyn and Sara! Five and Eight! The dream team. My two favorite runner-oh, wait, scratch that thought. I never said that." He amended. I smiled. "Ok, let me just check the mission log for your status...yah...ok, Janine! I know there's no mission log! Maybe if the lights were better and maybe if we-You know, Janine? This is my office. I really don't want you here. Get out, I have two runner-No! That's not ok! This is important! Yes, Janine, you'll be the first to know if we find anything. Ok, you know what-" The two of them continued arguing until Sam called for the gates to go up. "Raid the gates! Covering fire!" The sound of bullets pierced my thoughts.

I took a deep breath. I am an innocent. I did nothing wrong. I though, but part of me was worried as heck. If Sara wanted to find evidence of my guilt, she would. We started out jogging, my head still racing. My stamina had grown and I could keep up with Sara and kind of Evan.

Ok, whom am I kidding; I couldn't keep up with Evan.

"So I'm excited to see what we'll find in there, Five." She mused. Nothing because everything is burnt.

"A first aid kit and a crashed and burnt chopper. Nothing you haven't already heard about from me, Sara." But then again that's not saying much because Sara Smith couldn't stand me. Sara raised an eyebrow.

"You think we'll find certificates, with the name 'Brooklyn Harker' on them?" She asked.

Yah, sure if they suddenly decided to use names at Mullin's and if they chopper hasn't been burnt.

"If it's not all BURNT, Sara." I said, getting exasperated.

"Maybe you set the fire."

"Maybe you should keep your mouth shut, before I shut it for you."

"Was that a threat?" She asked me. I stopped. She skidded to a halt next to me and I nodded.

"Yes, it was. Now leave me alone and stop bugging me."

"Maybe you killed the pilot and burned the evidence and then-" I was so sick of this. It was really getting tiresome. I turned my radio on.

"Sam, make her leave me alone!" I complained into the headset. "She won't shut up!"

"Please get along, both of you." Sam begged.

"She's a god damn nutcase!" I yelled.

"She's a traitor!" Sara snapped back with just as much force. It was annoying me and making me angry. What in her right mind, which she was clearly lacking, made her think I was a traitor?

"You have no evidence of that! I am just as honest as you, but that's not saying much!" I yelled.

"I do! You're a liar and a-" She yelled.

"I saved your ass!" I hissed.

"You did-" Sam cut Sara off. Thank god.

"You both need to get along. Please, please. I'm begging you because-" He sighed. "Janine, is this necessary?" He asked. I herd her respond.

"Unless you want the whole base's electricity to fail." She snapped.

"Yah, ok, well, we need to cut power and apparently it can't wait. That includes your transmitter." Sam said. My eyes widened. No. No. No. No.

"Sam-" I started, but Janine grabbed the microphone and cut Sam's reassuring response off.

"You'll stop your complaining, Five. Unless you and Sam want the electricity to die then-" Sam grabbed the microphone from her.

"Go! Fix it, Janine!" He snapped then in a more comforting tone addressed me. "I don't like it either, Five, maybe if we didn't have to do this, JANINE."

"Don't waste your breath blaming me, Mr. Yao." She barked back.

"You know, Janine? If I could do it myself then-"

"Then you'd be a valuable asset to this base, Mr. Yao."

You're not stuck out here with no weapons, tired as hell, zombies, no way to contact base, and more importantly, someone who wants you dead.

"Sam, are you guys going to be ok?" I asked.

"Oh, don't you waste your pretty little head worry about me, Brooklyn. We'll be just fine."

"Maybe we could just leave it on until this mission is over." I asked.

"Trust me, Brooklyn." He assured. "You'll be fine. You're with Sara. She'll take care of you. It's going to be ok." I hated it when Sam Yao tried to be motivational because he sucked.

"Unless we turn on each other." Sara laughed.

You know? I wouldn't put it past her.

This time I was the one to give her the bug eye look.

"You guys will be fine." He reassured, but I think he was talking more to me then Sara. I stuck my tongue out at her. Yes, I know how immature it was. I know it made me seem like I was two years old, but I honestly think I hated her and my mind was muddled with anger and fear.

I herd a crack and a snap and a beep and with that I was four miles away from what little civilization there was with a crazy ex military zombie killer who hated me.

Wonderful.

"So, It's just you and me, Five. Right as we hit the chopper. Exciting. I do wonder what we'll find in there. I know people say stop looking at the past, but I can't help but wonder. I mean, I'm no different from anyone else. Lost my husband and my two boys when the dead took the east. I had to take them all out with a shovel. Never would have thought that I had it in me, but you never know what you'll do when your faced with a situation like that, Five. I won't press you for your story, though. You'll tell me when you're good and ready. No one's story is ever good, is it, Five?" She said in a warning tone. Suddenly I was filled with a hot anger. How dare she assume I had a good life before this? How dare she accuse me of being a spy and question my loyalty? How could she look me in the eyes and accuse me of that.

"You have no idea about my life, Sara Smith so don't you even try and understand."

"Loosing signal and connection right now is pretty convent for you, Five."

"It'll also be convenient for you when you decide to take my head off with a stick-" She interrupted me and waved my quiet. I was about to get angry but I herd a coughing and a wheezing and it wasn't coming from Sara.

"What in god's name is that?" She asked.

"You're asking me?" I quipped. I could see the chopper from where we were. It was just like I thought. A pile of scrap metal. I have no idea what Sara thought that she would find, but whatever it was, she wasn't going to find it in this burnt pile of shit.

But honestly, if it made her shut up, then I was all for it.

Again, I herd coughing and wheezing. This time I was able to identify where it was coming from. The chopper. I stepped closer.

"Not the best idea, Five." She snapped. I whipped around.

"Do you want to find your precious evidence or not?" I hissed. That shut her up pretty quick. I was going to say something about her but I was to taken aback by what stood in front of Sara and I.

Her limbs were deformed and pulled into a gross show of what a crash and fire can do to the human body. Her skin was a pale gray and cracked, broken, like china, in different places. Her blonde hair was knotted and her almost black eyes were sunken in and looked like little dark pools of abyss. There was blood and other organs splattered on her tattered uniform and her skin was burnt and scorched. She was the most grotesque thing that I'd ever seen and I made her. She was made to be like this out of my fear and my inability to act under pressure. I could have saved her and that was what hurt the most. Someone screamed. It was probably me, but I didn't know for sure.

"Is that your pilot?" Sara asked. I nodded. "Oh Jesus and sweet mother of god, she's seen us! Run!" Sara exclaimed and started to run. I was paralyzed with fear and with self-loathing. How could my actions do that to another human?

To my surprise, Sara didn't leave me. She turned around and grabbed my arm, pushing me forward. That snapped me out of it. It wasn't Amanda. It was some creature that was hosting her body. I needed to survive. We started to run together. Sara didn't remove her hand from my arm.

"She must have been left half eaten like that strapped into her seat." I could have slapped Sara for saying that. It made me feel horrible to know that she suffered. Amanda was the first one in about a month to really be nice to me and I let her die. We could have ran to Abel together, had I been better under the immense pressure that was thrown at me.

The weight of the god damn world and Sam and his horrible motivation.

The freshly animated were the fastest of all the zombies so Sara and I had to run faster than we ever did before. I kept up to her, not even feeling winded. I had to get out of here alive. I turned to my teammate, because like it or not, that's what she was.

"What do we do?" I exclaimed to the more experienced women. Sara pushed me into a ditch and slammed my head down, dropping down along with me.

"Listen to me carefully, Five. If you want to make it back to Abel alive, we need to work together."

No shit.

"I know how this sounds, but if you run that way she'll chase you. I can get to the chopper and-" Was I seriously supposed to buy into that? No way no how.

"Are you kidding me?" I snapped harder then I ever have before and that's saying something. "Why don't you run and I'll go back to the chopper?"

"Because you're younger and faster and-" Bullshit. I know why Sara wanted to get to that chopper.

"Lie! You just want to look in the chopper!"

"And if you have nothing to hide then you'll let me." She begged. I had to think quickly.

"If I let you do you swear that you won't leave me?" I asked. Sara nodded and I don't know why, but I trusted her. Just this once. She took off towards the chopper and I screamed, attracting Amanda's attention and started running at top speed towards the woods. I could hear her moans and groans. I hated when zombies did that.

Don't look behind you...

The noises were getting louder and I didn't know how far out I was. I could feel myself sweating and coughing, like Sara.

Keep going...

My legs had started to hurt and my throat was dry. I had forgotten Evan's advice about breathing.

Don't stop...

My air supply felt drained and my breath started to come shorter and I thought for a second about just throwing myself to the ground and giving up, until I herd crackling in the woods.

Then I didn't have a choice.

The sound of sticks breaking threw me off guard and went sprawling to the ground.

I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. I thought and rolled my body over to see Amanda leering over me. I brought my foot up and sent her flying backwards, quickly asking for forgiveness. Then I herd a gunshot and saw the limp pilot's body drop to the ground. I was coughing up some blood and waiting for death when I felt arms closing around my waist and pulling me to my feet, laying me against what I thought to be a rock or tree.

"Come on, Hun. Just breath. I know, I know." Sara's voice said. This might be the one time I was almost happy to see her. "Breath, you took a hard fall, but you'll be ok." She said and I stood after a few minutes of gasping for breath that never really came. I took some supplies from her arms and we started at a slow walk for Abel.

"Well, Five, you know what I found in that chopper?"

"My non existent plans to throw over your town?" I asked her, but in truth my heart skipped a beat.

"No, close though, your ID." She amended. I stopped. Sara was holding it like it was the crown jewel of the world. "Look, here's your photo. Not a bad picture of you, might be nicer if you were smiling, but it's a match." She affirmed. "Your name." She went on. "Miss Brooklyn Ida Harker."

"See? I told you that was my name." I added. She nodded.

"And there's the military description of you. Generally rebellious and not scared to give lip."

That sounds about right

"Well, I'm just glad that you're a recruit, not a spy. Just imagine what I would have had to do if it was someone else's picture on that card." She warned.

"I'm glad you won't be threatening me anymore."

"I'm glad I won't have to tell Sam anything that'll break his heart." She said.

"I'm just glad that you won't be doing anything to break my bones." I scoffed.

"He's a good kid, Brooklyn. Don't hurt him." She said and smiled the warm smile that I saw before. This time it was like re-watching a movie. I knew what was going on and I was not falling for her tricks again and just then I herd Sam's voice on my headset.

Sweet, wonderful, amazing, saving, Sam's voice.

"And we're back!" He exclaimed. "Did I miss anything?"

No, just Sara admitting she won't have to kill me.

"Sara and I are best friends! We're going to sing campfire songs and read each other's diaries!" I exclaimed with sarcasm dripping from my voice. Sam laughed, probably just relived that no one was dead.

"Mission was a success, Sam! We found Brooklyn's ID. It's a perfect match." She exclaimed.

"I won't break your heart, don't worry, Sam. Only for fear of not getting my bones broken." I said and winked at Sara.

"You know what Mullin's wrote on her ID, Sam? Generally rebellious and not scared to give lip." Sara read. It was getting old fast. She then turned to me. "I hope you don't mind, honey. I'll be handing this to Evan, head of runners, when we get in, only because some of us have been wondering who you really are."

"I don't mind, Sara, but give it back after." I said. The card was a bit of a comfort. I liked how it had everything that needed to be remembered about me in a nutshell. Something about it comforted me. The words made me feel better.

Brooklyn Ida Harker.

Dark Hair.

Blue/green eyes.

One hundred and ten pounds.

Five feet and two inches.

Resides at Mullin's Base.

Good with a gun, but generally rebellious and not scared to give lip.

Civilian

Diagnosable paranoia and possible depression and migraines.

The pointless things on the card comforted me. I wished Sara didn't need it, but it meant more to Abel then it did to me. I took a deep breath.

"Ok, come on home now." Sam said. I looked at Sara. She was grinning at me. We both walked back to Abel. No one felt like running. The image of Amanda like that was still real. I took a deep breath, and stopped. I looked back. We were only a few feet from the body.

"Give me one minute, Sara." I said and took off towards the body again. Sara followed after me. I tried not to look at the mess what used to be her face and fished into her chest pockets. Nothing. I flipped the body over and looked in the back pockets until I fished out Amanda's pilots license. I took it in my hand and stood up.

"What do you want that for?" Sara asked.

"I know she's from New Canton. Mullin's hired her. I don't know her family, if she has any, but I do know that I'm never going to forget anyone I meet. People need to be remembered, Sara and I'm going to start remembering everyone I meet." I said and she sighed.

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry." She said. I shrugged and read the license.

Amanda Keller.

130 pounds

5'5

Pilot

New Canton

Here's didn't say as much as mine did and that bothered me a little. The world would remember Amanda Keller as the tall, skinny, and pretty pilot who couldn't land a plain. That bothered me. I hoped that when I was gone people wouldn't forget me.

"It doesn't matter." I answered and Sara sighed and we walked back to Abel where Sam raised the gates. We were given a hero's welcome and people all poured over my ID, wondering if it was fake, but Sara assured them it was the real thing and I stalked off to my barracks where I changed into something fresh. I probably should have thanked Sara, but honestly, I was still angry at her. I lay down, my eyes closed and I dreamed of Amanda. I dreamed of her because I wanted to make sure that someone did.


	11. City of The Dead

November 26th 2014

"Brooklyn Harker? That's your name?" I nodded with my spinning head. My vision had started to blur now. I could feel myself threatening to pass out or be sick, whichever came first. My throat had started hurting yesterday at two in the morning. Sara had woken up and for some reason unknown to me, made me go to Dr. Myers.

Two things were wrong with that; I didn't see why Sara cared and the doctors scared the living daylights out of me. Sara didn't seem to see anything wrong though.

When we got there, a tall black haired girl was sitting in a chair next to Dr. Myers. They were both talking. Sara walked me in. Sara told them about my throat and my head and the dark haired girl sat me down. She strapped on latex gloves. My heart was beating faster.

"I'm allergic to latex." I blurted out. It was a lie, but it might stop her from doing anything to me. She looked at me strangely, but took the gloves off and pressed her hand to my throat.

"Swallow." She insisted and I did. "Open wider and stick out your tong." I did. "Your throat is inflamed but nothing to bad, but then again we don't always have the equipment to tell." She said.

I nodded. "I'm a runner. I really just need to get some sleep."

"Do you have any runs tomorrow?" The girl asked. I shook my head. "Good then you can sleep. I can give you some pills for the-"

"No! It's ok. I'm fine." I assured her. She nodded and I went back to bed until five, when my name was called over the loudspeaker. I slowly gained perception and realized that both Janine and Sara were gone. My eyes quickly opened.

"Runner Five, please report the main gate! Runner Eight, please join her. Please come quick, I need your help, both of you." Janine exclaimed. I met Sara at the gates after securing the fleece jacket around me. It was colder then I remembered out. Sara turned to me.

To her credit, she did look genuinely concerned about me, but that didn't mean that I had o be nice to her back.

"Are you ok, Five?" She asked me.

"I might be if I wasn't dragged out of bed and to the doctors at three in the morning." I quipped.

"Well, now that I know I can trust you, Five. I'll look out for you. We care about the people here at Abel." Sara said.

Shut up, you sound like Evan.

I had a million comebacks, but I decided that if Sara truly wanted peace then it would be best to give it to her and be mature. Whether or not the truly wanted peace, I have no idea.

"I'm fine, Sara. I really am." I assured. "I don't know why you care, but still." I added under my breath. She smiled and nodded at me.

Oh my god I couldn't stand that woman. Janine's voice pierced my haze of sleep and pain and woke me right up.

"Ok, Runners. We have a emergency, there is a traitor that I need you to catch, and she called herself Tess." Janine said, her voice dripped with hate and disdain for the traitor. I found myself being angry too. How could someone do this to another human being? The gates were raised and Sara and I started to run.

"Give me the rundown, Janine." I said.

"A girl has taken our things. She called herself Tess and she was a refuge from Brunswick. I foolishly trusted her and gave her the key to our comms station." Janine said. I scoffed and slowed down.

"Why do we care about a few laptops? Sure, it's a in convince, but why not just go get some more from the practically untouched office building over west. Evan showed me." I said.

"Because that's all of our data! New Canton is offering her luxuries for that data! Fresh fruit, hot water, private quarters."

What I would do for private quarters.

Or I'd settle for Sara out, though.

"What on there would they want so bad?" Sara asked out loud.

"They want to take down our comms station! Leave us blind and deaf!" Janine said franticly. I coughed.

I was starting to sound like Sara.

"Ok, calm down, Janine. We'll catch the little traitor." Sara said.

"I still don't understand. So they get our info. We're guarded from attacks. We can send runners out and-" I started.

"That's not all. They have our emails and-" Janine stopped. Sara looked around.

"Just say it, Brooklyn's ok." Sara insisted. I glowed. I must have been glowing. It made me feel so good, whether or not I hated Sara Smith was irrelevant.

"They have all your emails to the base and all of your things." Janine said. Her mouth dropped. I didn't know what this whole thing with Sara being military was, but I knew that I was going to be faulted by the town if Tess got away. Sara turned to me.

"Ok, listen, Five. I'm sorry, I am, but I can't tell you anything. I'm military and we're still working on a need to know basis. My bosses have put Green Shot on ice until this whole business with the launcher is sorted out." Sara said. I was confused.

"I know we're sorry, Five." Janine said. "But I know about this as does Major DeSanta. Please, trust us." I bit my lip. It was hard, but if Janine knew about it then I was forced to trust Sara.

"Are you working with Mullin's Base?" I asked. Sara looked around.

"Yes and no. Please, don't worry about it, Brooklyn. You're going to be ok, just let me worry about Green Shoot."

"What the hell is Green Shoot!" I asked and stopped running. Sara grabbed my wrist.

"Keep going. We need to catch Tess. I don't know exactly, but I do know that it's on ice."

"How does Janine know?" I asked. "Is she part of it too?" Sara shook her head.

"No, but it's hard to keep things from the women who runs the comms desk and Janine is, well, she's prickly but she's trustworthy."

"I can hear you!" Janine snapped. Sara laughed.

"Lord love you, Janine DeLuca. I'd say that to your face!" I smirked at that too. Sara pretty much had Janine in a nutshell. I sped up again. It was clear I was getting nothing out of them. Janine and Sara kept talking about emails and Sam and the town and god knows what, but I toned their voices out.

I was concentrating on not swallowing so that I didn't aggravate my throat any farther. Janine told us that this Tess was fast. And that we needed to speed up and Sara did. I followed, but she must have noticed my pain and dismay. I swallowed some vomit and gagged.

"Do you want to wait here, Five? I could probably just-" Sara asked. I shook my head vehemently.

"No!" I hissed, pushing myself on.

"What's wrong with Brooklyn?" Janine asked.

"Nothing is wrong with me!" I snapped and as if to prove my point I sped up past Sara.

"Brooklyn, Mr. Yao recommended you for a mission tomorrow. It should be a slow run but it's a special mission and it's rather important. Will you be able to go?" She asked. Sam recommended me for a mission? My heart sang.

"Yes! I'm fine." I snapped and Sara sighed. Janine seemed satisfied with the answer. I kept my pace steady, ignoring the pain for another mile, until Janine's voice shredded a hole in my thoughts. A knock was getting louder

"It's some of Sam's friends, Janine, wondering if he can come out to play." Sara mocked. I smirked. Sam's friends were all kind of geeks.

To be completely honest, Sam was kind of a geek. Janine groaned.

"If that's one of Mr. Yao's X-Box demanding friends, you can get lost because I told you, we still don't have the power and Mr. Yao is on a rest break and-"

"It's me, Ed Harrison!" I Ed's voice called. I wanted to jump with joy. Motivation!

"Ah, yes, Mr. Harrison, come in." Janine said. He sounded frantic.

"Is it her?" He asked. I coughed.

"Who?" Janine asked.

"Tess. Has she run off to New Canton?" Ed asked and quieted little Molly down.

"Yes, how did you know?" Janine asked. Ed swore. "What? What is it?" Janine said, franticly. Ed looked around.

"I-I might have told her where some working muter bikes were. She was just so interested in my job and she asked all these questions." Ed said. He sounded scared. It distressed me.

"Where are the bikes?" Sara asked.

"The Last Elbow's Dinner halfway between here and New Canton." Ed said.

"I know where that is, Five. Come one. We can beat here there." Sara exclaimed and both Sara and I sped up. I ignored the stinging in my shoulder and my throat. I could lie down when I got back.

"Sara, how much longer until we-" I was cut off by Sara's frantic cries.

"I see her! I see her! She's making for the bikes!" I turned to Sara. There was no way we could beat her there. "You go catch up with her Five. I'll go back for the stick and I can take her down with that." Sara said and I nodded, speeding up and biting my lip hard until I reached Tess. I threw myself at her and grabbed the laptops.

Why New Canton cared what Abel did was beyond my comprehension. If New Canton thought that Abel was a threat then it was run by a bunch of idiots.

Tess kicked me in the stomach sending me flying, but I slowed her down and she didn't have the laptops. Sara was able to take her down with the stick and tie her up with make do ropes. I could hear her screaming and cursing at Sara and Janine was laughing with my teammate about being ex military and having a good swing. Sara reached down and I took her hand. We looked at the two dirt bikes.

"You ok to ride, Five?" She asked and I nodded, sitting down on one and trying to remember how Jake rode in high school. I gunned the engine and Sara and I both started up back to Abel.

"We make a good team, Eight." I said, ridding up next to her and forcing a smile.

"The dream team." She joked. I forced another plastic smile. Sara must have noticed my discomfort. "We'll head back and then you can lie down, ok?" I nodded and coughed once again.

Sara and I sped along the highway together, talking. I found myself almost enjoying her company. She told me about her life before.

Not like I liked her.

Just the company.

Sam's voice cut into our conversation. "Hey, Runners. I heard you did a good job." I grinned.

"Hey, Sam." I said and nodded. "Eight and I are a great team." I exclaimed and Sara smiled at me.

"We sure do, Five. I'd say that we're like- What in god's name?" She said stopping the bike.

It was a pile of bodies thrown in no specific order. They were all strewn in grotesque orders. I looked confused. Sara and I both stopped the bikes. They were all people I knew. All the people that died at my base. I breathed heavier.

"It looks like a body pile. Sometimes bases have to-um-dispose of the infected and they don't know where to keep them so they-"

"So they do this!" I screamed. No, not possible, Mullin's was inhumane. My mouth dropped open and my eyes watered up.

"Brooklyn, it's like a cemetery. It's a mass grave." She said, her voice changing. "They need to. I'm not saying Mullin's is the bee's knees of civilization, but they need to do something with the bodies' and-" She was cut off by the sound of my sobbing. I walked over to the side of the grave. I could tell that the freshly deceased were on the sides. My baby brother lay in the pile of bodies. I screamed.

I was supposed to protect him.

It was my fault that he was like this.

I looked around for Jake's body, but couldn't see it. "How far are we from Mullin's?" I asked through tears.

"About two miles." She answered. I didn't bother to worry about anyone seeing. I just took his pale body in my arms and sobbed.

He didn't look gray. He just looked asleep and even more vulnerable and innocent then when he was alive. He looked just like I remembered him. Sara grabbed me and pulled me into her arms.

"Come on, honey. We have a herd behind us. We got to go." She said. I shook my head. "Let's get you home, Five. It's going to be ok, just breath." She said and pulled me tighter.

I didn't know whether Sara really and truly trusted me yet or whether I trusted her, but right now she was all I had and she was better then nothing.

"I know, I know." She soothed and stroked my hair gently. "I know it's hard. We got to get out of here though, honey." She said and I nodded, getting back on the bike, but quickly falling off. I was to disoriented to ride. Sara looked behind her. "Get on the back of mine." She said and I nodded. She turned the radio on. "Sam, at the Mullin's body dump. I'm sure you can get a fixing on that, you might want to send a runner out, there is one working motor bike in pretty good condition. We're trailing a pack and Five is-well-just be at the gates when we get there." Sara said.

Old emotions came rushing back to me. I didn't want to be here. I saw no point in staying here anymore. Seeing Aidan like that killed me. I failed him. I was useless. My mind flashed back to a time when I would have acted on that. A time when I was sweeter and a time where I saw no point to survival if there was no one for me.

_The lights in my barracks were dim. Electricity was being conserved after the raid to Mullin's. The raid that I wished I had died in. The raid that I should have died in. My eyes felt heavy. I had nothing to live for. Jake was dead. My parents were dead. Aidan was dead. I had nearly died. _

_ Dinner today was bleak. Watery potato soup and ice water, which I suspected was drugged, but I said nothing and drunk it. I hadn't slept since the attack that was two days ago. My neck had been stitched up and every time I swallowed the pain was almost unbearable. I fingered the spoon and took a sip of the soup, when no one was looking._

_ I forgot what alcohol tasted like, but I knew that I would kill for some, right about now. Base was calmer without Jake and I'm pretty sure that the guards were happy, but I was not. My life was spiraling out of control without him. I forgot what love was after two days._

_ I fingered each utensil carefully. Jake and I used to carve signs and protest the unfair treatment. He and I had tried so many things to cause riots. I had been on a two-day hunger strike. Only eating when I absolutely had to and it felt like I was going to pass out. I fingered the fork after that. No good. It wouldn't help me. I took a sip of the water._

_ Yah, I was pretty sure it was drugged. With what escaped me, but it was drugged. The only thing really useful was the knife, but they didn't give me knifes, because of my rebellious nature. I turned to the man on my left. _

_ "You give me that knife and I'll give you my water." I bargained. He shook his head. _

_ "No way!" He exclaimed. "I don't want no trouble. You'll go making trouble!" I sighed. _

_ "You can have my soup rations and my water and I'll throw in my desert if they give any." I said again. He took a deep breath and passed me the plastic knife. I got up and walked out, without being noticed. Back at my barracks, my hand was shaking. I took a few shaky breaths in and started to write, with my paper and pens._

_ Dear Major Ivory and comrades,_

_ I know you will probably rejoice and give everyone extra rations, but I hope that there is someone here at this base that will miss me. I also know that you are thinking I am doing this because of the passing of my family, but that is not true either. I am doing this for the greater good. To the people of Mullin's Base, consider me a Christ Figure, dying for everyone's sins, now let my plea be herd, do not give up my legacy, keep the flames of humanity alive and do not let them take you over and never give up the one thing they deprive you of; knowledge and hope. And good people, if this does not cause a riot, then maybe it will cause chaos and some of you will be able to get out._

_ An eye for an eye,_

_ Brooklyn Harker, not Ninety-Three. _

_I didn't know what half of it meant .It just kind of came to me and some of it herd in a movie, but it sounded really good. I couldn't wait to see Ivory's face. Then it hit me. I wouldn't. I was going to be dead. I breathed out, choking on my tears. I readied the knife and looked over the note again. It would make an impact; if anyone had any humanity left it would make an impact. It was well written. _

_ For a lie. _

_ That's all the note was. A cover-up, because I am to scared to face the world without my family, but maybe they will cause a riot. I took the knife to the stitches that they bandaged up and took a deep breath. _

_ I love you, Jake. _

_ "Oh happy dagger!" I said, half sarcastically, tears now in my eyes. "Something, something, something that Jake would know but I'm too stupid to remember." I muttered and put the knife to my neck and slide it. _

_ I was cold. My body was shaking and I could feel the warm blood dripping from my neck. I herd a scream and let myself fall to the ground. I herd more screams and some angry yells. _

_ "What happened?" _

_ "I don't know! I just came!" _

_ "Is she ok?" I didn't know why anyone cared, but I was to weak to contemplate. I felt sick, my stomach turned and tossed and I wish I could say that everything went black, but it didn't. I was conscious the entire time the re-patched my wounds and forced pills down my throat. I spit them up and begged for mercy, but mercy and sympathy were rare qualities at Mullin's Base. _

"Five?" I herd Sam's voice say. Quickly, I focused my eyes on him. I was lying on my bed. Aidan was gone. Part of me wasn't sad at all. It has been three weeks and in the span of three weeks I've learned how to be alone and I'm damn good at it to, but another part of me was screaming, like an old cut being re-opened. I sat up. I needed to be calm. Janine had a special mission for me tomorrow and I needed to stay calm.

"Sam? Where's Sara? Is she ok?" I asked. Sam nodded.

"Everyone is fine, Brooklyn. Are you? I'm really sorry. Sara told me about-"

"I'm fine, Sam." I said and nodded, standing up. "Trust me." My head was still hurting and I still felt like chucking up my guts, but Sam wouldn't let me go if I told him that. If I didn't go, my pride would take a harder beating then I would ever.

"Brooklyn, I know it's hard but-"

"Sam, It was two weeks ago. I'll be fine. I just panicked and hyperventilated."

"Do you want me to find someone else to go tomorrow?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I'm really flattered that you asked me and I'm flattered that Janine said yes." I said and he put both his hands on my shoulders.

"You would tell me the truth?" He asked. I smiled a sad smile. Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, all goddamn lies.

"Always."

"You trust me?" He asked. I nodded.

"With the last bullet in my gun." That wasn't such a lie actually. I smiled and hugged him. He embraced me back. Sara walked in. I let go of Sam and stood up.

Jerk and James Bond wannabee or not she saved my life.

"Hey, Sara." I said and she looked over.

"Hey, Hun. Are you feeling better?" She asked.

"Much." I said and smiled.

Lie.

"Thank you for helping me. You could have left, but you didn't. I'm real grateful." I said. That was the truth. She smiled.

"Anytime, honey. I know what it feels like. You know my story. I told you." She said. I nodded. "Are you still going tomorrow?" She asked. I nodded.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, which is now a whole lot smaller and not much of a saying." I said and Sam looked unsure. I stood up shakily.

"Sam, do you know where Janine is?" I asked.

"No and I'm glad I don't. It's late, Runner Five. Why don't you lie down and rest up for tomorrow. You have a big day." Sam said and I shook my head.

"I need to speak with Janine. Is she here?" I asked. Sara looked at Sam.

"I'll walk her around see if we can find her, Sam. You get some sleep. You and Janine will be needing to help Five tomorrow. " Sara said and Sam lay down.

"You're sure that you're ok, Brooklyn?" He asked. I laughed a little.

"Sam, I'm fine. Really!" I said. Lie. That was a blatant lie. I was not fine. I missed my brother and I felt sick as hell. Sara must have realized because she took my arm and half dragged me out of the barracks. We found Janine in the comms shack.

"Hey, Janine. You have a visitor." Sara said cheerfully. I smiled a weak smile at Janine.

"Hello, Five. Can I help you?"

"I need to speak with you." I said and Sara left.

"Is it about tomorrow?"

"No." I said and took a deep breath. "I found Mullin's body dump and saw-"

"Yes, I herd. I'm quite sorry, Miss Harker." Janine said, looking up from the wires she was messing with.

"I need to know if you can get the death registers from another base." Janine looked around.

"Why would you need that?" She asked. I bit my lip, not wanting to trust Janine, but knowing that if I wanted something I needed to tell her.

"I had a boyfriend and if Mullin's dumps the bodies and keeps a log-well, I know what happened to my family, I'd like to know what happened to him, just as closure." I said and Janine nodded.

"I can get that for you via Roffelnet. I'll see what I can do, Miss Harker."

"Thank you, Janine. You have no idea what this means to me." I said and she smiled at me. I walked out, and on my way out the door stole a plastic knife off of the counter.

Not saying I'll need to use it on myself like al Mullin's, but it's good to keep your options open, just in case.


	12. Before

Author's Note: I have over one thousand views! Please try reviewing guys, even if you don't have an account. I have anonymous turned on, you can still just shoot me a quick good job, and it would mean a lot.

November 27th 2014

She was the biggest idiot I have ever met. Even stupider then Sara Smith and Dr. Hills. I think I might have hated her more to. I could not believe that she, a doctor, didn't see how much this meant to me.

"You're a idiot! I can't believe you!" I exclaimed at Dr. Myers. "You are so stupid sometimes."

"You've made your opinion of me quite clear, Brooklyn, but it doesn't matter what you think of me, you are not going on the mission today."

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I yelled at her and slammed my hand on the table, aggravating my throat.

"Brooklyn, you have a fever and you-"

"Dr. Myers, come on!" I said franticly. "You have no idea how much this means to me!"

"No, Brooklyn, you're not going." She said and I turned around. I sucked up all the pain I was still feeling and turned to Sam.

"Come on, Sam, I'm fine!" I said. He looked torn. Dr. Myers put a hand on his arm.

"You need to find someone else. She's sick."

"I am not sick!"

"Sara, or Evan or Jody could go." Dr. Myers said. I turned to Sam.

"You have no god damn idea how much this means to me." I said. They wanted me. They requested me. It wasn't just an emergency 'we need you, Five' thing. They had preplanned it and they thought that I was the best. They wanted me to run for them because they thought that I was worth something.

"Brooklyn, I don't want you hurt." Sam said.

"And I know I won't get hurt." I promised. "Trust me on this one, Sam." I said and then turned to the weak link: Janine.

I would never describe Janine was the weak link, but she needed a fast runner on this mission and it was clear that she wanted me to go.

"Janine? Come on! I'm fast and I can get around. I'm clever and I can get back within the next few hours. You believe me? Don't you?" I asked. Janine nodded.

"Mr. Yao, you've made it perfectly clear to Miss Harker that if she needs time off she will be given some, but she herself has told us that she is all right and I see no reason to press her farther. If she feels ready, then let her go." Janine finished. Dr. Myers looked unsure, but I could tell (as usual) that I was getting what I wanted. She nodded.

"Ok, but you need to swear that you'll take some Ibuprofen when you come back." I nodded.

I could get out of that later. I was an expert at tossing pills. I muffled my cough with my hand as I got changed.

I could not let the people of Abel see me weak.

Janine passed me a headset and she and Sam ran back to the comms shack. I grabbed Sam before he left.

"Don't worry about me." I promised. "Ever. I hate it when people worry about me."

"Brooklyn no one is going to think any different of you if you want to-" I cut Sam off.

"Nothing worse happened to me than anyone else. I have a job to do and god damn it, I'll do it!" I exclaimed. Sam smiled.

"I'm not a hot mess am I?" I asked and Sam shook his head and looked over my attire of tight gray shorts and a stained blue and white tank top. "Am I hopeless?" I said, looking down at the ground and then back up at Sam. "You swear you'll stay on the entire time?" I needed to know that no matter what I went through and no matter how many corpses I saw someone would stay on with me.

I needed to know that if I set out with that image of my brother still fresh in my mind someone would talk to me.

"Brooklyn, I'd never give up on you." Sam promised and I smiled. "I'll stay on with you, even though Janine will be your controller." He said, grabbing Janine's arm. "It'll be a fun and exacting mission, won't it, Janine?" He asked. She gave him a dirty look.

"Don't patronize me, Mr. Yao." Janine snapped.

"I wasn't! Really, Janine, I wasn't!" He said and looked exasperated. She rolled her eyes.

"Just come back to station and we'll get Brooklyn out of here and get this done with." My eyes widened.

"Don't I get briefing?" I asked. Janine shook her head and before I could protest Sam and Janine were gone. The gates were raised and they told me to run.

"Just go, Five!" Janine exclaimed. I was not going to have this be like Mullin's Base.

"Not until I know where I'm going and what I'm doing, Janine." I snapped.

"For god's sake, Five! Just go!" She snapped.

"Not until I know what I'm doing!"

"You're going on a tech run for me now go!" She said and I did. I ran a mile and listened to Sam and Janine argue about how he ran the airport and the comms station. I thought he ran it just fine, evidently Janine had other ideas.

A tech run should be easy enough. It would take my mind off of Aidan and I should be back before sunset.

"So, Janine, where am I headed?" I asked. She sighed.

"I need you to head towards New Canton, Brooklyn." I almost spit my guts up right there and then. Apparently Sam did too.

"New Canton?" Sam asked. "Now why the hell would Brooklyn do something stupid like that?" Sam hissed.

"Because I'm asking her to."

"There's reason she should turn back right now!"

"Easy reason you should keep going, we treat New Canton as a enemy. Why?" Janine asked.

Come on, Janine, you're not that stupid.

"Because they enforced marshal law over there! They refuse to take our people in when under attack!" Sam explained.

"They hate my guts!" I chimed in.

"They're having dangerous outbreaks of zombie plague!"

"I can't go to New Canton!" I yelled.

"Brooklyn, we are in desperate need for parts and New Canton has kindly offered to give us some. I'm sure we'll do the same in time. I've arranged with someone to be waiting for Runner Five." Janine said.

"I don't think that sounds as good as you think it sounds." Sam said and I had to agree.

"Janine, come on." I protested.

"Just trust me, Five. Everything is going to be ok, just keep running and trust me."

"That is the last thing you say in a situation like this." Sam groaned. I sighed. I had no choices. It was either turn back and lose Janine's trust or keeping going and maybe face death.

Well, being the adventurous soul that I am, I decided to keep going.

Either that or my pride wouldn't let me back down. I took a deep breath.

"I trust you, Janine. Where to now?" I asked. Sam groaned.

"Brooklyn!" He exclaimed. "If I had known that this was-"

"You were right to recommend this one Mr. Yao. Miss Harker is a very official worker. Fast and clever. Smart and trustworthy, you're quite the catch, Miss Brooklyn."

"Brooklyn is quite the runner, wouldn't want to lose her." Sam said. He still seemed worried.

"You have nothing to worry about Mr. Yao and Miss Harker. I have everything under control. The rebels in New Canton are eager to make contact." That stopped me or slowed me down to a walk.

"Rebels?" I asked.

"Are you trying to start a war with New Canton?" Sam said, clearly surprised at Janine's plans.

"Come on now, New Canton is a big settlement. When it falls, and it will fall, we need to help the people who want to be helped and-" Sam cut her off. It was clear he was worried. I was damn scared myself, to be honest. My run in's with New Canton had not been nice one's.

"Yah, and you know what, Janine? When New Canton falls that won't be thousand people wandering over here with picnic baskets and blankets! That'll be a thousand hungry zombies!" He exclaimed.

"Then we better to help some of them out now, Mr. Yao. I see no reason that we should not." Sam scoffed.

"Janine! They bomb us with bullets every chance they have! I bet they shot down Brooklyn's chopper!" Sam insisted.

"Not to mention the cases of outbreak I've been hearing about." I chimed in. Janine groaned.

"They are still human! No one is pure evil, Five. Keep going. If anything speed up a little. My contact tells me that the man you'll be meeting is there. You're about half a mile." She said and I picked my pace up a little. Janine and Sam hung up on me for a little. I sighed. I hated when they did that, but he had other runner out. After a few minutes I herd a static crack and Sam came on.

"She's gone to the bathroom." he said. I sighed. "To be perfectly honest with you, Five. I think she's bucked the comms desk-comms shack-desk."

"Sam, she's annoying sometimes, but she's smart and very good at her job. I don't think she wired your desk." I pointed out.

"Let's check." He said. "Janine!" He hissed. "Can you hear me, Janine?" Sam whispered. We both started to laugh.

"Yah, Sam, I don't think she can hear you." I said.

"She wouldn't say if she could." He whispered. We laughed again. I guess it was better then telling him just how scared of New Canton I really was. I'd only cried once in front of Sam and I had every intention of leaving it that way. "Listen, Five. I know that she's a good women and you're right, she's good at her job, but she's tricky and just to be on the safe side, I'm keeping as many of or scanners and cameras on you as possible. Ok, Brooklyn?" He said. I nodded.

"I'll be fine." I assured, but I couldn't say any more because Janine had apparently come back.

"What are you doing, Mr. Yao?" She asked. Lie, Sam. Make something up.

"Umm...nothing...talking to Brooklyn, wait, Runner Five. Yes, I'm talking to Runner Five, that's my job, my job is talking to Runner Five."

Oh my god, after I organized his papers I was going to have to teach him to lie because he was horrible at it.

"He was telling me to pick up my pace because I was trailing a small pack." I assured Janine. "Nothing much."

"Fine then." Janine said. "While we're here, Five. You'll be hitting an intersection soon, please take the right turn and head towards the outdoor mall. You might find something useful."

"Is that really a good idea, Janine?" I asked. "I'm going to need to meet my contact soon." I said. She considered that and then told me to just head for New Canton. When I hit the woods just before the clearing I crouched down.

Sam didn't need me to say it; he could tell I was anxious. He was too. I still wasn't quite sure. They just offered to give us parts? That's not how it works in Armageddon.

"Get the parts and get out of there, Five." Sam said. "Don't associate and don't make friends." I nodded. "I'm kidding, Five. None of this hero business. I want you back in once piece." I nodded again and Janine started to argue with him and I tuned them out. Janine was wrong.

Some people are evil.

We all have evil in us and we don't know it until it's to late.

"Sam, there's no one in the clearing." I said.

"Hm, that's odd. I've been told they would be there." Janine said. I might not be the brightest bulb in the light, but I knew something was off.

"Janine, I don't know about this." I said.

"Come home, Five." Sam said. I was about to listen to him, when I heard bullets.

"Runner from Abel Township!" Someone screamed. I turned around. Shit. I was surrounded by men in matching clothing with guns. New Canton bastards. "We have you surrounded! Put your hands in the air! Stop and don't move!" I did what they said. "We have you trapped, Runner! Do you have any weapons?" My throat was killing me again.

"There is a hole in their formation." Sam said. "If you run fast enough you might be out of my scanner range but you'll get out of there."

"I'm not fast enough. They all have guns." I muttered and threw my hands in the air.

"You are fast enough, Brooklyn! You know you are and I know that the last thing they want to do is fire and they'll only fire if they have to! They don't want was with us." Janine said. I scoffed.

"Are you kidding me, Janine? Did you really just say that?" Sam hissed.

"Go for it, Five. Now." Sam said. I took a deep breath; a plan was forming in my head. It was a crappy plan, but it was still a plan. I took a shaky breath in.

"How many are there?" I asked.

"About ten. They have you outnumbered, Five. You can't take them." Janine said.

"Do you know how much ammo they have?" I asked.

"If they all have two guns that's twenty guns and forty shots per gun, eight hundred bullets at the minimum." Janine said. I coughed.

"Brooklyn, get out of there." Sam begged me.

"I can't. I have a plan though. I need you to do something, Sam." I said.

"What. Anything."

"Mr. Yao!" Janine hissed. "We are not encouraging this! She needs to get out of there."

"Don't leave, Sam. Don't give up on me." I begged.

"Brooklyn, just run!" Sam insisted. I threw my hands farther into the air.

"Please, just swear that." I pleaded.

"I promise. I won't go." He said. I took a deep breath. I couldn't run back to Abel when they had that many bullets. I needed to get rid of them first.

"Do you have a weapon!" The man yelled.

"Yes!" I screamed. I was a terrible liar, but maybe if I could just convince him then it would work. "Yes! I have three handguns and I'll blow your brains out if you touch me!" I screamed and took off as fast as I could. They were firing, just as planned. I prayed to god that I wouldn't be hit.

The bullets pierced my thoughts had sanity and I kept running. My head was hurting and I could hear nothing but the raining of bullets. They must have fired eight hundred times by now, yet they were still shooting. I pressed myself on until I gasped for air and felt something rip through my shoulder.

Again.

I grabbed at it and coughed, collapsing down the hill and into a ditch. The sound of bullets faded into the hiss of static on my headset. I was out of Sam's scanner range; I could still talk to him though. He was babbling to Janine and Janine was calling me an idiot. I picked the communicator up and looked at my snapped microphone.

Janine was telling Sam how stupid I was for trying to provoke them to fire to waste bullets. It might have been a good plan, had I thought it through better.

I have to agree with her on that one. My vision failed and I could feel the blood rising up in my throat. How was I going to get out of this one? I thought and I could feel my body get colder and I started to shake. My fever was going to spike, I could tell. The last thing on my mind before I mercifully passed out into black was damn I hate those New Canton bastards.

How am I still alive? How did I survive the fall? How did I survive getting hit? How will I survive? My shoulder was throbbing and my throat was so clogged up I couldn't talk.

I was going to die here. I lay back and tried to cough up the flam that was preventing me from breathing through my mouth. My body ached and I could tell that my body was all bruised and maybe broken. I took my headset and lifted it gingerly in my hands, placing it on my head. It was getting dark. The sunset was very pretty.

Or would have been, had it not been red, the color of blood.

Perspiration had started to form on my brown from the pain of trying to stand. I screamed out in agony and collapsed to the ground again. My ankle was twisted.

Sensational.

Just wonderful.

I have the worst luck on the face of the world.

Just then, I herd a static snap on my headset. I put it on, praying and begging. Please, please, please, please. Sam come on, you swore you wouldn't give up on me. I thought, but in all honesty, I was a failure. I wouldn't blame him if he did decide to give up.

"Come in, Runner. " I herd Sam say. Tears of joy started to form. "Come in, come in, Runner Five. Please, Brooklyn, I've been sitting here for half an hour and you haven't given me any hope." He said. Half an hour? I was out for half an hour?

"You're out of my scanner range and truth is? I don't even know if you're alive. I mean odds are good right? You're tough. If anyone can make it back you can."

He seemed like he was trying to reassure himself of it more then me. I sure hope he was at least, because it wasn't making me feel any better.

"Listen, Brooklyn, I'm just going to sit here and talk, because I promised you that I'm not going to give up. Janine tried to get me to leave ten minutes ago, but I won't." He said. I lay back.

Might want to listen to her, Sam, because with a twisted ankle and blown in half shoulder there is no way I can ever make it back.

"Ok, I'm not trying to make you lose hope, Five, but if you are where I think you are then there is a lot of shambling dead. I can't say a lot because I don't exactly knew if you're even alive or if I'm talking into the ear of a zombie, but if you are alive then, I know you can do it, and if it's a zombie then, well, I'm taunting you with the sound off food you can't eat." He said. I cracked a smile and coughed.

"Well, if you are still my friend, Brooklyn Harker and not the thing that may possibly have taken over her body, my advice for you is to run. We can't keep the gates open the entire night. Zombies start to come, but we'll put the lights on the top of the tower. Brooklyn, just come home. Run home if you can." He begged. I pulled myself up. I was going to do it. Ankle or not. I thought to myself and trying to ignore the screaming pain emitting from my foot I started to run, but I only got a few steps up the hill, before I crumpled down to the ground a little. Sam was still talking about how they might need to lock me out and what to do and all. I probably should have listened, but right now I needed to get up this hill. That was my biggest concern. My head was pulsing with a burning pain and I could feel hot tears of anguish dripping out of my eyes.

"I know you thought that you were going crazy, Brooklyn. I could see it in your eyes when you woke up crying and screaming. Sara could see it too, when you saw your brother. I wanted nothing more then to tell you that it was all going to be ok, but truth is, Brooklyn? I didn't know if you were crazy and yes, I know how that sounds, but I didn't know you. It was only when we lost connection with you that I realized something. We're all crazy here. I don't even know if anyone here remembers what normal is. At least until Alice." He said.

"My god, I loved her so much." He finished. I could tell he was tearing up. "She made me feel like I was worth something. Then she died and...well...and I could have done something. I was in charge of her runs. All of them. Then you came, Brooklyn, and I got a second shot. You were so much like her. Pretty, and fast, and smart, and- Oh, hell, why am I even doing this? You might not even be-well-alive. You might be dead and there is nothing I can do about it. I might be talking into the ear of a zombie, but if you are still the Brooklyn I know, then come home. Come home fast for me and for everyone else." He cried.

I coughed and suddenly filled with a fiery determination I rose off of the ground and grabbed onto a tree root, pulling myself up and off the ground. I could do this. I could make it back to people who wanted me. A family. A home. Did I even know the meaning of the words family and home anymore? Was there even such a thing as safety? I pulled myself out of the ditch and rolled over onto my back.

"Why should you make it back though?" Sam was talking again. "You're not even my second Runner Five. You're my fourth."

Then quite naming them five, you idiot. I thought and rolled myself over, standing off the ground.

"Why would you make it back when all the others didn't?" Sam asked.

Just shut up, Sam Yao. Shut up and stop trying to be motivational. If you were even trying.

"You know, Brooklyn. If I could I would trade places with you. I mean you've only been here a couple of days and you already add to the town. Your life is worth something. You've brought in food and supplies. Our base has grown because of you. The kids, too. That alone is a reason for you to make it back. They're so much happier. I'm not worth anything." He finished. My eyes widened. That was bullshit. That's what that was. Sam Yao didn't see what he added to the town. Sure, he might suck at being motivational, but he was good at his job.

"I'm not really good for anything, Brooklyn. Even before the apocalypse. I bet you think with these 'mad skill' I must have been something amazing, like a rock star or a DJ, you want to know what I was, Sunshine? I was a student. A plain and simple student at UNI. Twenty-eight years old and already a failure. Four years into engineering. I was dropping out of all my classes. I was failing engineering. I mean, I was really terrible, It's not even like I enjoyed it. I hated it and I was terrible. Bet you're shocked." He said.

I was shocked. I was shocked because I was at UNI for a two terms and I was twenty-five. We must have been in school together. Before the end of the world I wanted to major in psychology. I wanted to be a therapist. Or a social worker. Or a doctor. To be completely honest, I had no idea what I wanted to be. My mom and dad were always military involved and when the outbreak started they pulled me out of school and we got transported to Mullin's. I sighed. It was a small world.

Even smaller because of the apocalypse and mass deaths.

"I wasn't even good at it. I was terrible, I mean really, really, bad. I wanted to be a broadcaster, like I am now." He said. "You want to know what's really, really, really, bad, Brooklyn? Some days I'm grateful for the end of the world. I'm really happy, I mean. Happy that I'll never have to show the failing grades to my parents and happy that I get to wake up everyday and, well, do this. My dad would have been so angry, Five. He was angry when I failed French and he didn't even care about French. He's Chinese. He was all like 'you have dishonored the family' and all."

I smiled sadly and started to limp again. I could relate. My parents were always strict they wanted me to join the military when I got out of high school.

"My mom wasn't angry. She was just sad. Sad I'm such a failure. I had a sister, too. She made everyone proud. She was just staring UNI. She wanted to be a lawyer. She was amazing at it. Came home with top grades and I remember being so jealous. I have no idea what happened to her, Brooklyn. I mean, I know what happened to my parents. I have no idea what happened to her. She was away with her boyfriend and I couldn't get a hold of her at the start of the outbreak. They were so proud of my sister. I'd give anything for them to be proud of me. No one is ever proud of me." He said. Sam was starting to tear up. Likewise, I could feel myself starting to cry.

"What about you before this? I bet you were something amazing. A model or an actress or a singer. You could have even bee training for a marathon. I bet you had a job you liked and a family that loved you. I know about your brother. I bet that you had a loving set of parents and I bet that they would have done anything for you." Sam finished.

Fat chance, Sam Yao. Try military involved parents whom, even before the apocalypse tried to control your every move. Try boyfriend that you got separated from after high school. Try three jobs to support a crappy apartment, all my expenses, my student books and debt, and pay my parents back for all the money that I owed them.

"Also, Five, isn't' it strange how random things pop into your head?" He asked me. "I mean like you're trying to convince yourself that you'll see people again and that you'll be able to be normal again. I used to know this guy at school. He picked his nose at lectures and I never really talked to him, but I still knew him and the other night I woke up from dreaming about him. That and ice cream rolls. Man, what I'd give for a ice cream with cake on the outside-or was it ice cream on the outside and cake on the inside?" He wondered. "I'll go check in a few minutes."

Thanks, Sam, now I'm cold, tired, hurt, and hungry. Not just cold tired and hurt.

"I miss you already, Brooklyn. The major says that we need to take care of each other, but we can't get to emotionally attached, but I can't help it, Brooklyn. It's only human instinct to cling to people when there is no one left. I care about everyone back at Abel and, well, you too now. You're a part of my family, Five, and I'm going to sit here until you either tell me you're ok, come home, reappear on my scanner, or Janine pulls me away, the more likely one is, I hate to say it, but the last one."

Sam, just shut up if you can't be motivational. Now I'm hungry, cold, scared, hurting, and depressed.

"I've told them to leave the red beacon on the tower. If you get close to the town you should be able to see it. I'll stay on for as long as it takes. We can talk like normal people." Sam said. I cracked a smile. Sam was right. None of us knew what normal was anymore.

"Yes, Janine. I know you're here. I don't know WHY your here, but I know you're here. I wish you weren't, but-" I herd Sam mutter.

"Mr. Yao, I'm so sorry, but she's not coming back." Janine said.

"Yes, she is. It's only ten and she's strong. She'll be back." He said adamantly. I had made it about a mile. I had no idea where I was going. "Listen, Brooklyn, Janine's just being annoying, as always, don't you listen to her. I haven't left. We don't need stupid Janine to tell us what to do. I can sit here for as long as it takes for you to come back." He said. I coughed again; collapsing on the ground and feeling an acidy taste rise up in my mouth. I had almost forgotten that I was sick too.

"They pulled me out when Alice lost connection and when Charlotte and Johnny and Alexandra and..." He went on listing dead runners and talking about how Janine pulled him out of the booth, but to be honest, Janine was right. I was a lost cause. I might as well just curl up and die.

Until I saw the sign.

It was a florescent array of heavenly colors and somehow still in working order.

Cringle's Convince. My savior. My angel. My lifeline and knight in shinning armor. I forgot about my foot for a few moments and I ran as fast as I could to the store, kicking the door open and practically collapsing into the isle.

Standing up, I grabbed an ankle brace and secured it tight around my foot, so that I could walk faster. I took some water and put the bottles in my bag, right now my concern was not supplies for Abel, it was getting out alive. I snatched two first aid kits and three energy shots. I'd need the caffeine. I grabbed a bottle of pain meds and looked hesitantly at the bottle. I wanted so bad to take them, but what if they weren't really painkillers? What if they were drugged? I turned a flashlight on and after bracing my ankle I stepped back into the dark night. I could so this. I started at a slow run and prayed Sam would talk some more so I could take my mind off of the pulsing agony my body was in.

"Ok, I'm back, Five. Two things; First, I was right. it is cake on the outside. Second, that's not a good reason to wake Janine back up. " Sam said. I sighed with relief and kept my pace. "Brooklyn, if you're still alive, I'm going to get you out of that situation. I'm not going to lose another runner. I swear that, Brooklyn. If you are where I think you are then you're on the right path. I don't know because my scanners are down, head no the north. That's sight from where you are. I know you can do it, Brooklyn. I'm not going to leave either. I'd never leave you in the dark." He said vehemently.

I started at a steady pace to the north, ignoring my foot and focusing on the one thing I could count on being a goal; survival. It was no longer just a game or an instinct. It was an obsession. I would literally kill to survive, even if I had nothing to survive for and even if I had no one left. I took a sip of the water bottle and let the cold liquid drip down my throat. It felt good. I sped up my pace so I was running faster.

It was an awkward run, not my best by far. It was almost a hop, but more of a limp, as I was dragging my sprained ankle and going as fast as I could, but it was still a run. Just more of a hop skip.

I stopped and leaned against a tree, panting. I was ok. Not making bad time for a girl with a beat up body. I had gotten about half a mile when I herd moans and groans.

I'm not going to lie, when I saw the zombies I rolled my eyes.

First Dr. Myers, then New Canton, then my leg, and now this? Couldn't I get a break? Maybe for five seconds. Just when I thought that my rotten luck couldn't get any worse I looked out at the three zombies and my jaw dropped and my blood ran cold.


	13. Pills

November 27th 2014

Ten minutes later

I'm so sorry, paper that is not really a diary or whoever is reading this most; I had to stop for a few minutes. I hate to tell you this, but I had to stop because I'm scared that I'll cry if I don't. I'm scared that someone will see me cry. I'm scared that Sam will see me crying or Sara or even worse, Dr. Myers. I hate crying, but in all honest, I've been doing far to much of it lately, but I guess I'll have to suck it up and finish telling you the story now, as I don't want to be remembered as 'that girl who was to scared to write on paper.'

Well, Jake was just as handsome as he was when I first met him in high school. I still loved him just as much as when we were in high school, too. His blonde hair was dirty and knotted and his tan skin was a lot grayer and paler, but he was still the most handsome boy in the world, to me. His sunken in eye stared blankly at me and veins protruded from different places on his body.

I screamed. My entire body was paralyzed with fear. The exasperation had been completely replaced with terror. My eyes must have been as wide as saucers. He unsteadily grabbed at me and I fell down to the ground.

Any other day I would have gladly let him take me with him. I would have just lay there, but a strange thought graced my mind.

I was going to miss Janine if I died. I remembered her stern gray eyes and her assertive manner.

I was even going to miss Sara. Well, a little. I'd miss annoying her if anything.

But most of all I'd miss Sam Yao. Poor Sam Yao who thought I had a shot at getting back and Sam who would stay up all night if he had too.

Suddenly, my promise to Sam that I would be ok meant more than anything and survival was the entire world. I shoved any remorse away and delivered a swift kick to Jake's chest.

He's not Jake. I told myself. He's something else that looks like my boyfriend. Jake is gone. This is a monster. I told myself as I grabbed a stick and without thinking I rammed it through his heart.

Go again. Make sure he's dead. You don't want him shooting up and biting your leg. Part of me thought.

You can't do that! You loved him! Are you going to put survival over respect for the dead? The other part screamed.

I bit my lip, not knowing what to do and still partially shocked from what I just did. Then survival instinct took over and I ran the stick through his heart three more times until he lay unmoving on the ground. I dropped the weapon and collapsed to the ground coughing and wheezing. My head got lighter and I felt like all of the oxygen in my entire body had just rushed up to my head.

I was alive. I was alive. I was alive. That was my first thoughts. My first breath was sweet and then breathing become painful and sore. I had really done it. I had killed the one man on this earth that I loved more than anything. I could have stopped this. I could have saved him.

I started to cough louder and forced myself to look at the mutilated body. I leaned over on both of my knees and dropped down next to his body, pushing some hair out of his eyes.

I was sick. Not just in spirit or even physically. I threw everything I'd eaten in the last month up onto the grass and I kept coughing and spitting up until blood eventually my eyes started to shut.

I don't know how long I sat there coughing up blood and vomit, next to the body, but I did know that the sky was dark and I could start taste the acidy vomit coming up again. It felt like all the blood was rushing to my head and the littlest noise sent my head into a spiral of pain. The static on my radio got clearer and I could tell Sam was going to start talking. I didn't want that right now. I needed to be alone.

"No! No! No! Stop!" I screamed and threw the radio as far as I could. The static had started to hurt my pulsating head. Hot rage filled my body and thoughts whirled around my head like drowned sailors in a sea storm.

How could I have done that? How could the base do that? If they had found a cure or even a vaccine we would have saved so many. Jake would still be here.

Brave, amazing, sweet, and talented Jake who gave his life for me. He gave his life for me and I just took his away. I coughed. I picked the headset up again. The microphone was butchered beyond comprehension, but irrelevant to anything, the earpieces were still intact.

"Brooklyn..." Sam's voice sighed. "I know how weird this sounds but-" I was tempted to just take it off, but decided against it. "Well, I don't feel like I really know you at all. "Yah, I know I've talked to you some and I know we share barracks but...well...you're like Alice. Way, way, way out of my league. I wish I got to know you better. I wish that we talked more and I wish that I wasn't so damn bad with girls." He cried.

"Janine tells me that you're gone and that I should come get some sleep, but I'm not going to. Ever. Not until I have you back." He swore vehemently. Then he sighed.

"I wish I can tell you everything is going to be ok and I wish that I can tell you that I'll be able to protect you, but to be honest, I can't. I have no idea if you're even alive, but if you are, hurry home. Hurry home if you can." Sam sighed. I looked over at Jake and stood up.

It was to damn late to give up now and survival was not just a obsession. It was a goal and right now I needed to think clear. I could make it back to Abel. I could make it back to Sam and Janine and Ed and Molly and all of the little kids. I could do it for them, if not myself.

I took off towards the woods, not thinking about the body that I had left. I could not think of him as the Jake I loved. He was the thing that took over Jake.

As I got deeper into the woods a red-hot haze of anger built up in my body. It was not my fault Jake was dead. It was the goddamn basses. Not even just Mullin's Base. It was the entire world's fault. They could have found a cure. They should have tried harder.

I could feel the thorns and the trees ripping at my almost bare body. It didn't hurt so much because after they moved me out of New York and to Mullin's, I learned how to run in the woods. It was fun. Just not now. Reaching a clearing I collapsed to the ground panting.

Until I saw something. It was Jake's body againe. I looked around. I had gone in a circle. I started at a run in the next direction until I screamed as something caught my leg. I fell down crying, hollering, and thrashing about until I realized that it was only my shoelace caught on a log. I pulled my body closer to myself and pressed it against a tree.

This was hopeless. I was lost and cold and hungry and now wet, as I'd fallen on the snowy ground. Sam's voice faded in and almost lulled me to sleep. I could just stay here. It was hopeless anyways. I took another sip of water and ate a few crackers, but knowing I was next to Jake's body made me throw all of it up. I decided not to waste the food anymore.

"Well, Brooklyn. My dear, sweet, and probably undead Brooklyn. It's three in the morning and I really should not have woken Janine up because now she's bothering me and telling me to come back to barracks.

My heart must have stopped for a minute. No. No. No. No. No. If Sam left then I'd have no reason to go on. I shot up like a bullet, and through the maze of thorns I started to run. I pressed myself on and on. My entire body ached with pain and I threw myself down a hill. I wasn't going in a circle any more. All I could do was limp as fast as I could and pray on my lucky star that I was heading the right way.

"I'm starting to lose hope, Five. I mean, it's late and there's been no sign. Don't worry though, I think you're better off gone. Oh, crap, that sounded so wrong. No, I want you here with me more than anything and I want you back more than anything, but sometimes I think that the one's who die are the lucky ones. You guys don't have to worry about rebuilding and you don't have to worry about remembering what it was like or building forward and nothing is going to change that. No ice cream rolls or people telling me that they're proud."

I looked up at the sky. Maybe Sam had a point. The stars looked amazing. They were the most beautiful things I'd seen in a very long time. I used to watch those little orbs of light when I was younger. They always left me breathless and wanting to be an astronaut.

"You know, Five. I read your papers when you came here. You only had three pages, but I read them all and I've been thinking. Now that you're most likely gone, who will remember you? Mullin's might, but they'll remember you as a smart mouth little bastard who lost her entire family and suffered from PTSD and paranoia. See, I remembered what it's called this time." He laughed. I cracked a smile too. They're not going to remember you like we will, and I swear that I will remember you as Brooklyn Harker, the amazing, and Brooklyn Harker, sunshine of Abel Township." He babbled. I cried a little harder.

I'd remember him too. I'd never forget Sam Yao, who had too much faith in my so-called abilities and my so-called running skills. I looked up at the sky and gasped.

Screw the stars, that red light was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I herd Sam gasp too. I was going to live. If I could make it down that hill I was going to live.

"Oh my good god, Brooklyn, I see you!" He called. Tears of joy clouded my vision. I was going to be ok! "Well, I don't see you my scanner does and you're still a little away, but you should be able to see the town from where you are." He exclaimed. I could. I could see everything. My luck had turned around.

It was about damn time.

"Brooklyn, wave if you're still alive and you can hear me!" Sam exclaimed. I threw both my hands in the air and started to wave desperately. I started to run back to Abel, but Sam coughed and I knew him well enough to know that it was his nervous cough.

"Brooklyn, I don't know if you can see them, but you have a massive herd behind you. I can't really see them myself, my scanners don't work well during the night, but you need to run back home! Our snipers can take care of them. Just get home now!" Sam insisted and let me tell you, I wasn't arguing there. I would have high tailed it back, until I bent over, coughing and gasping for air. My vision blurred a little and I could see the dark trees looming over e and threatening to reach down and swallow me into the dark forest. I weakly looked around and started to run. I took off towards Abel, my will to live and promise to Sam stronger then my will and wish to die.

"Just run, Brooklyn! Keep running! You're almost at the gates! Raise them! Raise the gates!" Sam yelled. I could see them. I was about half a mile away. "Ok, I'm leaving now so I can meet you at the gates. Keep going. I'm going to be there when you reach Abel. I swear it. I did. I propelled myself as far as I could forwards, not thinking about anything else. The moans of the dead and the fire of bullets shredded my thoughts of immediate safety and pressed me forward. My heart was beating a million miles a minute. Adrenaline was streaming through my veins. I reached the gate and threw myself into Sam's arms. The gates slammed shut He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Sam!" I cried into his shirt and muttered incoherent things. No real words formed, as I was still in shock, but joy and bliss filled my entire body. You do not know how happy I was to see Sam.

The adrenaline of the moment wore off and left the dull pain in my shoulder and the aching of my body. I cried harder and Sam closed his arms around me tighter. I think he might have been crying too, but right now it didn't matter. The events of the night came rushing back to me.

"Sam, he's dead. I killed him. He's dead!" I bawled. My knees gave away, but he caught me and he guided me to the ground, where I pressed my body closer to his chest, just happy to see a face that I knew and one that wasn't pale gray.

"It's ok, Brooklyn. It's ok. Calm down, you're ok. You're safe here. I promise I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He soothed.

"I'm sorry! Sorry about your parents and Uni and school and everything and-Oh god, Sam, he's dead!" I sobbed. People were starting to crowd around us.

"Who? Who's dead, Brooklyn?" He asked me, tilting my head up. I couldn't tell him. My head was so clouded with sleep and terror. I wanted to badly to just fall asleep and for the pain to all stop.

I was crying violently and my thoughts were whirled with terror and disdain for myself. Sam was trying to calm me but to no avail. He brushed some hair away from my face and laid a hand on my shoulders and gasped a little, when I cried out in pain.

"Brooklyn, you're hit. " He said gravely. I looked up. "I got to get you to Dr. Myers." He muttered. My eyes widened.

"No! Please! No, Sam, no, she'll kill me! She'll make me take pills and she'll kill me. Please, no, don't-" I cried, but Sam interrupted my frantic pleas by putting his finger to my lips.

"Ok, ok, calm down, calm yourself down." He soothed. Dr. Myers was already standing above us.

"That's a bad hit, Sam. She was hit from the back and it cut all the way through, clean. You need to get her up and back where I can treat it." Dr. Myers said. Sam pulled me closer and I grabbed onto his shirt.

"Don't let them hurt me." I begged him. He looked over at Dr. Myers and she nodded at him. He lifted me into his arms and, still trying to get me to calm down, carried me over to the hospital building. It wasn't until I was lying down that I realized where I was and by then it was too late to escape. Ed Harrison was helping in the hospital and when I started to thrash around and fight He held my wrists down.

"I'm going to have to sedate her." Dr. Myers warned Sam. That just made me fight harder. I could not let a doctor near me with a needle. She would kill me and god knows what would happen to me when I was out. I attempted to calm myself down.

"Sam, you can't let her do this." I begged. "That god damn needle..." I cried.

"Nothing's going to hurt you." Sam promised. "I won't let it. Dr. Myers is really good at her job." I shook my head. She started to put on some gloves.

"Did you get bit, Brooklyn?" Dr. Myers asked. I shook my head. "Are you sure? If you did, you need to be honest and-"

"She doesn't look bit, Maxine." Sam stated. "Just sedate her and take the bullet out quickly." Sam said, biting his lip. I started to panic.

"No, please, Sam, no. Just leave it in. I don't care just-" I looked over and Dr. Myers had a needle in her hand. I screamed and fought as hard as I could, but Ed had a strong grip on my wrists and Sam was pushing hair out of my eyes, trying to calm me down, but to no avail.

"You're ok. It's ok, just trust us. I won't let anyone hurt you. I'd never. You're going to be fine." Sam soothed. The door opened and I looked up Sara Smith stood in the doorway.

Busybody and annoying, Sara was my only hope.

"Sara, don't let them please, they want to hurt me. Please, I know you hate me, but please just don't let them use the needle." I begged. Sara sat down next to me.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I got lost and Jake's dead. I killed him and now-" My story was cut off by sobs that invaded my speech.

"Jake's dead?" She asked me. "What do you mean, honey?"

"He's gone! I killed him! He was gray and I had to, Sara. I had to!" I cried. Sara looked at my shoulder and then up at Sam and Dr. Myers.

"We have to get that bullet out, honey. I know you're having it hard, but right now we need to get you fixed up." She said.

"Sara, at Mullin's-" She cut me off, being firmer.

"You can be awake or asleep, that's your choice, but right now you need to let us help you." she stated. Tears started to fill my eyes.

"He's dead, Sara. He's gone and I had to kill him. It's my fault." I said, leaning back. "I could have-" Sara interrupted me.

"No, honey. You couldn't have. We all lose people now, but we need to cling to the people that we do have. That's why you need to let us help you and that's why you need to let us do this." She said. I looked up into her green eyes.

"Why do you care? You hate me." I muttered. She rolled her eyes.

"I do not hate you, Five. I did not know whether to trust you, but now that I can you need to let them help." I don't know why but she was a comfort. She took Ed's place next to me and started to stroke my hand gently.

"I know it's hard, honey." She said. "I had two little boys and a husband. I had to kill them all with a shovel. You need to be strong, though. I don't know what you're scared of but Sam's going to stay with you the whole time." I coughed.

"I want to be awake." I said and Sara brushed some hair off of my face.

"You remind me of my eldest boy. He was a firecracker too loved adventure. When he was ten I had to bring him to the hospital for a broken wrist. The doctor asked him if he wanted to look when he was setting the bone or not and my baby-sat there, unmoving. Of course, when he started to get scared he looked over at me, but still. He was only ten." She talked. My eyes started to tear up.

Maybe Sara wasn't so bad.

I quickly pushed that thought away. She just felt bad. She hated me.

"Sara, I want to be awake." I repeated. She nodded.

"It's really going to hurt." She warned.

"I want to be awake." I insisted firmly. Sara looked up at Sam, who was looking worried.

"Brooklyn." He said. "I trust you, I wouldn't have sat there-um-talking if I didn't. Now, you told me that you trust me, but I don't believe you because if you trusted me you'd let us sedate you and you'd let Dr. Myers do her job. Sam took the needle from Dr. Myers. She passed him three pills and told us that they would calm me down. I bit my lip.

"You'll be here the whole time?" I asked Sam. He nodded.

"You're ok, honey." Sara reassured. She glanced at her watch. "Goodness, look at the time. I have to go for a run but-" I grabbed her wrist.

"No!" I cried. Something about her presence reassured me. She lay me back down.

"I'll be back. I have to go for a run. Janine can help me here, Sam. Don't worry. Is there anything I can get you, honey?" She asked. I looked around and after a few minutes nodded.

"Books, but in specific Brave New World." I said and Sara smiled. I don't know why I wanted it, probably because Jake had wanted me to read it.

"Of course. You let Dr. Myers do her job now." Sara said and I lay back and looked at Sam. I popped the pills and Dr. Myers pressed the needle to my arm. I gasped with a little pain. Sara sat back down for a few minutes.

"Close your eyes, honey." She coaxed and I did. "I won't leave until you're asleep." She whispered, but I figured that it was going to be a lot sooner then I knew.

Why did i take those pills?

Why did I let them keep me here?

I hate it here and I hope the entire hospital burns to ashes with everyone inside.

"Jake..." I tried off.

"I know, Hun. I know. Just calm down now, Brooklyn." She said.

"Mullin's. They killed him, Sara. They could have-" She cut me off.

"I have to go now, but I'll bring you the book if I can find one. Sam? Can I talk with you a second?" She asked. Sam looked down at me. I was half asleep anyway. I couldn't say anything. He and Sara walked to the corner for a few minutes until Sam walked back over, but by then it was all black and I had completely been subject to those goddamn pills.


	14. Death List

mouth November 28th 2014

My vision was blurred when I first woke up and I had a terrible memory blank. Where? Who? What? Not knowing things scared me and right now I didn't know anything. I stared up at the ceiling and then over at the wall. I was back at Mullin's! My head started to spin with terror and I snapped up violently. I looked around breathing hard.

"No! No! No!" I screamed and tried to force myself out of the bed. I could feel gentle arms pushing me down. I could also feel myself crying. I hated to cry.

"Lie back down, you're ok. I'm right here. I haven't left and I swear I won't." Sam Yao promised. I followed his directions and lay down. He left his arm on my good shoulder and took my hand with his other hand.

"Mullin's Base...Oh, god, where am I?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Abel Township, Brooklyn. It's all ok." Sam promised and I breathed easier. I looked over to my other side. Sara was sitting there too. She smiled.

"Now that you're awake, I can show you what I got you." She said and passed me a bag. I opened it up. Books. It was filled to the brim with books. Hardcover, soft cover, different colors, you name it. There were even some composition books and pens. On top was a soft cover copy of Brave New World. I smiled weakly at Sara.

"Thank you."

"I grabbed a few others for you, Hun. I didn't know what you liked." She said.

"Just about anything is going to be better then lying here." I said. I knew that is what Dr. Myers would make me do. I closed my eyes. Sam stood up.

"I'm going to go get something to eat and then I swear I'll be right back." He promised and I nodded. Sara took his seat. She could read me like an open book. But then again who couldn't?

"Sam's going to come back and I'll stay here." She promised. I yawned. Sleeping was going to be hard here if they didn't dope me up every night.

"Honey, what happened to that boy wasn't your fault." She said. I really wished that she didn't bring it up. I could already start to feel tears forming in my eyes. My eyesight started to blur. Sara laid a hand on my forehead.

"Sara..." I muttered.

"You're fever is getting up again, honey." She mused. Sara pulled the blankets off of me and I coughed so hard that I could feel the sour taste of vomit creeping up in my mouth. I felt cold and clammy. I didn't feel hot. Sara took some pills from a table.

"Sara, I'm so cold." I muttered. She shushed me. I don't know why but something inside made me trust Sara. The fact that she was here now and the fact that she said she trusted me was proof enough for me that she was serious. She took a lighter blanket and pulled it securely around my trembling body, trying to warm me up without overheating me, but in all honesty, it was November and I felt freezing. I don't know how heatstroke was possible.

"I can't get you overheated with a fever, honey. I'm sorry we're going to get you fixed up right and new though. Trust me." She passed me the pills and I looked hesitantly at them.

"What are they?" I asked.

"Painkillers and they'll help with the fever. I used to give them to my boys when they were sick." Sara said and I breathed.

"How do you know so much about this stuff?" I asked weakly. I thought she was going to tell me to be quiet again, but she didn't.

"I had two boys, like you know. That and I was a military."

"Why do you care about me?" I asked Sara again. She shrugged.

"Honestly, I don't know. At first I didn't know whether to trust you or not, but then we found the ID and now I know what you're going through." I needed to trust Sara if we were going to run and if we were going to share barracks. I nodded.

"Why do you know I'm going through more then anyone? We all pretty much have the same story." Sara groaned, exasperated.

"Can you please stop asking questions? Why do you need to know all of it?"

"I don't know. I guess Mullin's made me inquisitive."

"Well calm down. You don't need to be anymore." She said. I took her hand, not feeling twenty-five anymore, feeling more like I was three. I wished I was three.

"Thanks, Sara. For everything."

"You know, Five. I know how it feels. I told you about my family. I had to do it with a shovel when the dead took the east. Sometimes I wonder about it all. You know, I try to hear what's going on, but they just never tell us military much." She told me as she walked to the other side and poured a glass of water.

"What is Green Shoot?" I asked. Sara looked down.

"I don't know, Brooklyn. I don't know much about anything." She said. I trusted her. I don't know if I was right too, but I did.

"I'm scared, Sara. I'm scared because I don't know. I don't know anything about this and I don't know what's happening and-" I could feel myself shivering harder and starting to cry. I was going to get riled up.

"Calm down, honey. Don't talk, just rest." Sara said. "All you need to worry about is getting better and then running. Let me worry about Green Shoot and Mullin's."

"Are they going to come?" I asked. Sara looked hesitant to answer.

"No, Brooklyn. They're not." Dr. Myers answered and walked over. I moved a little closer to Sara. "She's military. She knows what she's doing." Dr. Myers said. "How have you been doing?" Dr. Myers asked. I shrugged.

"Praying to god that the building here blows up and burns down." I muttered. Sara rolled her eyes and smirked. Dr. Myers walked away. I don't think she heard me.

"Why do you hate her so much?" I heard a voice ask. I turned around and looked at the door.

It was just Ed.

I looked around. I never thought I'd be sharing things like this with anyone, but here I was about to tell him about Mullin's and my worst memories.

"I hate doctors and hospitals." I said. She looked at me.

"Why?" He asked moving closer.

"It doesn't matter." I whispered, but started to talk anyways.

_My eyes were trained somewhere else as I sat on the operation table. Jake was dead. Aidan was dead and I had just gotten my neck sewn up with a needle and thread. _

_ Twice _

_ I looked strait, at the wall. The door cracked open. Dr. Hills walked in. She smiled a cold smile at me. _

_ "Hello, Ninety Three." She said. _

_ "Brooklyn." I muttered. "My name is Brooklyn." Dr. Hills looked around. I tilted my head and raised it to look in her eyes. "Why do you get a name? Why does Major Ivory get a name? Why does-" She coughed. _

_ "That's quite enough, Ninety Three. I know the recent loss of your friend and brother has been hard but you're here to work it out with me and-" _

_ "I don't want to." I said simply. _

_ "You don't want to?" _

_ "No." _

_ "Why not?" Dr. Hills asked, making a note on her pad. _

_ "Because you're a good for nothing shit." I whispered. _

_ "Is it true that yesterday you tried to slit your throat with a knife?" She asked. _

_ "I tried to start a rebellion." _

_ "You tried to end your life." She insisted. _

_ "And start a rebellion." I added._

_ "Ninety Three, you don't really want a rebellion. Do you? Saying you want that is lie saying you want to base to burn to ashes!" She exclaimed. I looked up; still not look directly at her. _

_ "Oh, but Dr. Hills, I'd love the base to burn to ashes with you and Major Ivory inside." I proclaimed, smiling at her as sweetly as I could, remembering some movie where the little girl killed everyone. Jake loved horror movies. She cleared her throat and I could tell I creped her out._

_ Good. I hope she died of insomnia like she always told me I would if I didn't take the pills._

_ "You would like to see all of your friends and comrades dead?" Dr. Hills asked, her notepad still on her lap. I smiled at her and let out a little smirk. _

_ Let's give her a show. _

_ What's the worst she can do? She deserved it and I might as well toy with her for the years that she toyed with my parents and me. Jake didn't listen to her though._

_ "I don't have any friends, Dr. Hills. They're all dead. Everything I love dies."_

_ "Let's talk about that. Who's dead?" She asked. _

_"Jake and Aidan. My parents and me." _

_ "You're dead?" She asked. I kept up the creepy little girl routine. It seemed to be scaring her. The distant gaze was not hard to do, though. I felt tired. "Do you mean dead inside?" She asked. _

_ Crap. That was what I was going to say. She's good. _

_ "No, it means that I wish I were." I whispered. She coughed._

_ "Do you believe in god, Ninety Three?" She asked. I shook my head. _

_ "I believe in asshole doctors who like to pretend that they're god." I snapped. She was getting pissed. _

_ "Who are you to talk to authority like that?" She hissed at me. _

_ "Brooklyn Harker, not Ninety Three." I quipped back. _

_ "Ninety Three, if you take these pills then I can let you go. This will fix you right up." She said. That was a lie. It was a goddamn lie. I didn't know what those pills would do but if I was going to die it was not going to be at her hand and if they weren't poison then I didn't want to know what they were._

_Death was the better option here at Mullin's. _

_ "Did the drug company slip you big bucks to give me that crap?" I asked. She sighed. _

_ "Ninety Three, I see you as being a valuable assets to this base if you can behave." _

_ "Want to know how I see myself now that I have no one?" I hissed. She nodded and leaned in. "I see myself as a god damn lab rat." I hissed and she looked at two men next to her. _

_ "Then I'm sorry. If you won't help yourself I have no choice." She said. I looked around. _

_ "Wait a second, what do you mean?" _

_ "Ninety Three, what you did almost caused a riot. People were running around and we even had to use force on some people. You caused lots of death and pain. Your selfish acts hurt many of your comrades and friends. You have been acting very uncharitable lately. It got your brother and your boyfriend killed." She said. I looked up. I had never blamed myself for Jake's death in the past. I had always blamed the base, but now that Dr. Hills mentioned it, I was very self-centered. _

_ "Dr. Hills, this conversation is done." I said and snapped up. I could not let her mess with my head like this. _

_ "Ninety Three, your good parents, god rest their souls, have tired to organize therapy for you and they have tried everything, until they passed. Now it's our responsibility to try to make you better." That statement snapped me to attention. I looked around the room and saw the two men, walking towards me. _

_ "This is stupid!" I hissed, "What are you going to do? I'm not sick!" I protested. The men grabbed my wrists and I thrashed and fought. They tied me to a chair and grabbed two electric conductors. I screamed louder and tried to fight the ropes, but I mercifully passed out before I could feel the shock run through my veins._

_ When I woke up I was lying on a bed in an all white room. My eyes cane to focus and Dr. Hills was standing above me with the two men. _

_ "We conducted ECT on you, Ninety Three. It's supposed to help depression and paranoia, like yours." She told me. I was alert pretty quick _

_ "What did you do to me?" I said and backed away. I didn't let her say anything. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" I screamed. Dr. Hills put her hands in the air calmly, showing me that she didn't have anything else. _

_ It was to late for that._

_ To god damn late for reassurance._

_ "Calm down, Ninety Three. Just calm yourself down." I grabbed at my hair and Dr. Hills nodded at the men. "I need you to just calm down so I can make you better." I screamed and picked. One of the men held me down and the other forced pills into my mouth I sputtered and coughed them up but it felt like they just kept coming back. I was crying, something that I vowed I'd never do and a vow that I'd broken. _

_ "Calm down, honey." Dr. Hills said. "Let me help you. You're very sick and you need help." I kicked her as hard as I could in the stomach._

_ I had to get out of the hospital. _

_ She toppled backwards into the carts filed with needles and god knows what else. I had to get out of here. I elbowed one of the men and shook the other off and got up and started to run as fast as I could. _

_ Right into the awaiting arms of Major Ivory, who grabbed my wrist and dragged me back onto the room, throwing me to the man on one side. He helped Dr. Hills up and they both worked together to shove about seven pills down my throat and god knows how many needles they pricked me with. I screamed the whole time. The last thing I saw before the whole world faded to pitch black was the white light of the hospital and the sharp, silver, gleaming needles that pierced my skin. I screamed and felt the consciousness slip away as the needle injected god knows what into me. _

"I don't even know why they hurt me like that." I cried. Sara looked heartbroken for me. She really did. I started to cry. Ed exchanged glances with Sara. I just lay there helpless. "That's why I hate it here. That's why I hate Dr. Myers and-" Sara shushed me. Ed just looked freaked out. I sobbed and cried for a few minutes Eventually my tears subsided. Sara had a distant look that I didn't quite understand.

"They did that you because you're different. Much smarter and you had new ideas. You jeopardized their control." Ed told me. I nodded. "You're brave, Runner. You were when you saved Molly and me." Ed told me.

"I don't ever want you to think that what happened back at that base was your fault." Sara said. Her reassurances and Ed's explanation calmed me a little. "You get some rest, honey. I'll be back soon." She promised. "I have to go on a run for tech supplies, as we evidently didn't get any." She swore at New Canton. I nodded.

"I would stay but I need to go get Molly from the rec center. I'll go find Sam or Janine." Ed told me and he and Sara stood up. I looked around. I was going to be here, alone, with all of the dead and dying.

"No!" I exclaimed. "Don't leave me here alone." I begged. Ed and Sara looked at each other.

"Ok, so, I'll go find someone and Sara can stay with you." Ed told me.

"I have to go right now on a fuel run and because you know where the generators are you have to be my operator." Sara said and she looked back down at me. I looked around at the room. I hated it here. I hated it and I wished that I could leave.

"Just go you two. We need to fuel." I said, an idea sprouting in my head. Sara looked around.

"Are you sure, Runner Five?" Ed asked. I nodded.

"Go on. I'll be fine here. I said and Ed took Sara's arm. I could tell that Sara knew me to well to think that I'd be ok with staying here alone.

She's right, but there is no way that I'm staying here anymore. I'm bored and I'm just fine. My shoulder is better. I don't need help. I threw the blankets off of me and stood up, pulling on some jeans and a shirt. I could do this.

My shoulder was screaming with pain, as was my head and I felt colder then ever, but I was not staying here alone and I was not going to be the cause of Abel not having any fuel. My throat felt cold in the air and I coughed as I looked around. Dr. Myers was preoccupied with Runner Twelve, who had been bit. I stood up and with all the strength I had left. My heart was pounding. I opened the door and stepped out. I was barefoot and half naked with less on then my red and black underwear and a black tank top. I took a few steps out and it felt sensational, pan and all.

I hated being cooped up. I started to run, ignoring the biting cold but I didn't get more then a few steps when someone grabbed me harshly.

"Runner Five? What do you think you are doing?"

Crap.

"Going for a walk." I responded and looked up to see Evan, head of runners. Wonderful. This was so not the person I wanted to run into.

"Going for a walk when you're supposed to be in the hospital?" He asked.

And why is this suddenly your business?"

"It's part of my recuperation process. Dr. Myers said to go for a walk twice a day." I lied. I was a terrible liar.

"In your underwear and the middle of November?" He asked. I flushed a bright crimson. "Are you lying to me, Five?" He asked.

Yes.

"No. I'm not, Seven, now maybe if you minded your own business and started-"

"You are lying to me. I can tell."

Well, great freaking job, Seven, because no one else could have guessed that. You should go be a god damn psychic. You might earn some real bucks.

"I am not lying!"

"I need you to go back to the hospital and I'll have to report this to both Janine and Dr. Myers and when the major gets back, her too." He said.

Dirty rat.

"Evan, you can't do that!" I exclaimed. He looked around.

"I can. As head of runners, even though its' not a official title-"

"You are such a jerk!" I exclaimed.

"She doesn't mean that, Evan She's sick and cold and not supposed to be out of bed." Sam's voice said and I felt his arms take my shoulders. "I'm sorry. I'll bring her back." He said. Evan nodded.

"Ok, Sam. Be careful." Evan said.

You have got to be joking me.

"Yah, Sam, be careful, I might take your head off with a broom." I whispered. He smirked.

"Let's keep this between us, Evan. She's having a hard time adjusting. Walking helps her think things through." He said. That was the truth; I could have just said that. Evan nodded and Sam guided me away. When Evan was gone he stopped me.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked. "Are you crazy?" He asked. I nodded. He put his coat over my shoulders. I shook it off and passed it back.

"I am a grown women. I don't need your help." I snapped. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"You need to get back to the hospital." He said and reluctantly we both walked back. He sat down in the chair next to me and helped me lie down again. It was silent for a little.

"Listen, about what I said on the radio. I-well-god how do I say it?" He stuttered for the right words. I looked down.

"It's ok. I won't tell anyone." I forced out.

"Thanks, Runner-wait, sorry, Brooklyn." He corrected.

"It's fine, Sam." I whispered and no one talked for maybe five minutes. We just sat there staring at each other. Jesus, what do I say? I thought to myself.

"Well, you're some fast talker. That trick you pulled with New Canton was pretty good." He finally said. I thanked him and we sat there again.

"Listen, Sam, I know how you feel." I said after a few minutes. He passed me some more pills. I shook them away. "I will not be drugged up when I'm talking to you." I said and went on. "My parents were strict too. Jake and I-" Tears were starting to form, but I needed to let Sam know that I knew what he was going through and he's not alone. "They hated Jake in high school and they never let me do anything. We come from a long line of military. They always put pressure on me." I said and Sam nodded. I smiled. He touched me neck gently. I pulled away.

"What's the scar from?" He asked me. I shrugged. "Can you tell me? I mean, you don't have to if you really don't want to but-"

"You told me about you. I guess I can tell you." I said and looked around. "I was shot in the neck and then I-um-tried to slit it." I muttered. Sam must have been surprised.

"Oh, god, Jesus, I'm-well-um-really sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I guess I just-"

"Don't worry, Sam." I muttered. "It's not your fault. You didn't know." I said. We both sat there until Dr. Myers came over with a needle. I looked around the room.

"Brooklyn, you need to relax. Calm down, honey, you're very sick and I can help you." She said. Those words registered in my head. That was exactly what Dr. Hills had said to me. I shook my head. Doctors are all the same. "This is a calming serum and it'll help you relax." She said. I shook my head.

"I don't want it." She advanced. Sam put a hand on her shoulder.

"Maxine, I'll sit with her." Sam said and I nodded. She looked hesitant but walked away. I lay back.

"Can you pass me the book?" I asked and he nodded. I picked it up and took a deep breath.

For Jake.

It was a soft cover book a faded and stained, but I was pretty sure this was the one that my father was always talking about and carrying around. I pressed myself up into a sitting position and opened to the first page. My hands started to hurt. I think it was both the nostalgia and the pain of my wounds but I dropped the book and fell backwards with a frustrated groan. My little attempted escape had gotten my warn out. I could also feel a migraine creeping it's way into my brain.

"Do you want help?" Sam asked. I nodded. He picked up the book from the floor. I felt like all the energy I had was drained from me. He must have noticed. "Do you want me to just read it to you?" I looked up. My eyes must have looked big and haunted because Sam put the book on the table. "God, I'm sorry. Did I say something?" I shook my head.

"I just hate this..." I muttered. "I hate the memories that are always there and I can always hear them screaming and I try to make it stop but-"

"Brooklyn, Mullin's was a horrible experience, but you're here now." He promised. "And hey, you have me! What else can you ask for?" He joked half-heartedly. I smiled. He was so nice to me.

"You know, Sam? Go ahead, actually. Read to me, please." I asked and he picked the book up.

"I'm not promising that I'll understand it, but I'll try." He said and I nodded, lying back. "You got to try to get some rest. I got you out of the shot, so you got to try to calm down." I nodded. He cleared his throat.

"Cut the drama." I said and he smiled at me.

"Ok, here goes." He started. "A gray building of only thirty four stories. Over the entrance the words Central London Hatchery." He stopped. "What's a hatchery?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"Beats me."

"Hold on, I'll go ask Dr. Myers." He said and turned around out of the seat. "Maxine!" He called she was going through some papers and pouring things into test tubes at a makeshift desk. She turned around. "Dr. Myers, what's a hatchery?" He asked again and she walked over to us.

"Usually a place where birds are born. Why?" She asked. He gestured to the book and I nodded in agreement. "Brave New World?" She laughed. "Why are you reading it?" She asked.

"Because I'm stuck here." I snapped. She picked the book up.

"You know, you should be able to really relate to this, with the whole Mullin's experience." She pointed out, passing the book to Sam. I bit my lip.

"What's a hatchery?" Sam asked again.

"You're going to have to read the book a find out." She said and walked back to her test-tube. Sam gave me a look. I gave him one back.

"Well, I guess we better start." He said and I sat up, with my strength again. It hurt, but I hated lying weak and vulnerable like that. Sam picked the book up again. I stopped him. I couldn't do this. This was what Jake used to do for me.

He used to sit around and hold me close and read to me, granted Sam was just a friend, but still. It hurt and I wanted Jake back. I could see the body lying on the ground and I could see the blood seeping out of his chest. I put my hands on my head and rubbed my temples. Sam put a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you ok?" He asked. I didn't respond. "Brooklyn! Are you all right?" He asked. Dr. Myers looked over and got up, walking to us. Sam had his arms around me and I was trying to control the sobbing that I knew would start.

No. No. No. Not today. I thought and took a breath, swallowing the pain.

I did it.

Not to say that Sam's embrace was all to bad, though. I got up after a few minutes.

"She's got post traumatic stress disorder. A mild case and maybe just developing but she also seems rather paranoid." I looked up.

"No!" I exclaimed. "I'm not paranoid. I'm not. I'm just-"

"Ok, ok, ok." Sam said. "Just lie back. I don't have to read. We can just sit here." He said and took my hand. I pulled away.

"No, just read. I need to hear the book." I whispered and Sam and Dr. Myers whispered a little, but Sam picked the book up and went on. Dr. Myers looked hesitant but walked away.

"And in a shield the community's motto; Identity, Stability, and, Community." He read. I scoffed.

"Are you kidding? That is nothing like Mullin's." I said and cursed the base out. It made me feel better to curse them out.

"It sounds like Abel." He said. "We should make a motto." Sam mused. "Maybe Evan could help. He's good with making things sound official."

"Evan's motto would be; let's all-" Sam cut me off before I could finish my wiseass comment.

"Just let me read." He said and I shut up but we didn't get very far in the book. We finished the first two paragraphs and I didn't understand it and neither did Sam so we put it down and started to talk. We talked about the weather and the people and Maggie's book, she's Runner Six. Sam asked me about my life before and I told him about my jobs and how we went to the same school for a few terms. Finally, I herd the door open. Janine walked in.

"Hello, Brooklyn." She said. Sam straightened up.

"Hey, Janine." I said. She was the reason I was in this whole mess.

"Brooklyn, listen, I-"

"Are you here to say that you're sorry and wrong?" I asked. Janine shook her head. "Then I don't want to hear it." I pouted. Yes, I know it was immature, but she almost got me killed because she didn't listen.

"Brooklyn-" She started.

"Is the next word out of your mouth 'I'm sorry?'" I asked. She rolled her eyes.

"For crying out loud, Miss Harker!" She hissed. "I'm sorry. Now will you listen?" she asked. I nodded.

"I have your death registry." She said and passed me the papers. She leaned over them with me and read them out loud.

"Brendon Julius and Adelaide Marie Harker, both deceased, cause of death is tuberculosis." I knew that. Janine went on. "Aidan Lawrence Harker, deceased, cause of death is exposure. Jacob William Logan, deceased, cause of death exposure-" I cut Janine off.

"Wait, that's not right. Jake died of exposure, but they didn't know that. He ran out protecting me. He was never spotted or gunned down. They could never have known any of that." I said. Janine scoffed.

"It get's better. Ready? Brooklyn Ida Harker, deceased, casue of death is suicide." My lips parted.

"What the hell?" I asked. I was getting angry. "Are you kidding?"

"They passed me the death regesters and I told them that I wouldn't give them away." I looked around.

"Bullshit. That's what that is." I snapped.

"I don't understand though." Sam mused. "Why not just report her as with us or if they wanted to lie MIA."

"Becasue she's a thrwat to the control." I herd a voice at the door say. I turned to see Sara. She walked in and passed me a glass of hot tea, sitting down next to me and taking the paper scanning them over. "Trust me, I'm military. They hate diffrnce and anything that gives hope to the people. Brooklyn was diffrent and she almost casued a rebellion. The base can't lose control."

"We need to help them!" I excalimed. "We need to-" I was cut off my own coughing. Sara stroked my forehead.

"Calm down, honey. Remember what I said? You don't worry about base. You worry about you and getting better." She said and I looked around.

"You can't keep this from them." I swore.

"Brooklyn, if we tell them then we might be causing problems for the people. They're already so brainwashed that they might try to attack on us or something else." Sara said and she and Janine exchanged glances. Sam looked at them.

"Brooklyn, you were hope and by saying you're dead the people have no more humanity left. Does this make sense?" Janine asked.

No, becasue the way you're tlkiang to me you'd think I was two.

"Calm down, honey. Let us take care of it. You just calm down. Sam? Will you stay with her?" He nodded. I was going to protest but Sara changed the subjesct. "You and Sam started reading?" Sara asked.

"It sucks." I muttered. "We're picking a new book."

"I don't know." Sara said. "I read Brave New World. You two might be able to learn something." She said and Janine nodded walking out with Sara.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Hun." She promised. Sam picked another book up.

"It's called 1984. Another post apocalyptic one by the looks. Sara likes classics. Want to try it? I mean, I know I'm not much good, but still." He asked. I nodded.

"Tomorrow. Tonight I want to sleep. You'll stay?" I asked. He nodded.

"Sure thing. I won't leave you here alone." He promised. I leaned my head against is shoulder.

"You're the best." I said. He smiled.

"Glad someone thinks so." He responded.

"You really are, Sam. Loyal and sweet, kind, sympathetic, and you look nice in blue." I said and smiled. He laughed, probably at me.

"Blue like those pretty eyes of yours?" He said. Speaking of eyes, I rolled mine at the statement. It was just getting awkward and that was something I couldn't take.

"No, blue like the black and blue in Major Ivory's face when I get a hold of him and-"

"Ok, conversation done. You are not getting riled up." He said and I closed my eyes leaning back and thinking about only four things.

How nice it felt to have Sam here with me and how talking to him passed my time.

How much I hated the hospital

How much I hated Mullin's.

And that stupid book and what in all of hell's name it had to do with birds and a hatchery.


	15. Two Weeks

November 29th 2014

"Guess what I got?" Sam exclaimed, excited. I looked up from my bed and Molly. Ed looked up from his book. I raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Ed and I both asked at the same time. Molly was sitting on the bed with me and I was playing with her.

"A real storyteller! Now you can listen to your book without wondering what things mean." He said. A woman walked through the hospital door. She gave me a quick look.

I'll be honest. It took me back a little. It had been so used to people calling me hero and telling me that I'm special that the damnation/bug eye look was almost forgotten to me.

"This is the new runner?" The women asked.

No, I'm the queen of England.

"Brooklyn Harker." I introduced. She walked over.

"Say, Runner Five. I've herd lots about you." The women said, tossing her blonde hair behind her ears.

What were you in high school? A cheerleader? I thought and wished that I could toss my own hair behind my shoulders. She saw my own glair and quickly shaped herself up.

And I thought Sara Smith was a smooth talker.

"I'm Maggie Doane, Runner Six." She said and extended an arm. I raised an eyebrow.

No way no how.

I couldn't believe this woman.

"Sorry you winded up here, but it was bound to happen sometime. All runners spend at least one night here. Say, you want me to read to you?"

No, I want Sam or Sara to read to me.

"Not really." I snapped. Being mean to her felt a little good. Not only had she given me a nasty look, but also I needed someone to take it out on and she looked like she could take it. Besides, I knew her from when she came and visited my middle school class. She was a writer coming in to talk about her newest book.

Her newest book was some cheap CVS over the counter romance novel.

Yes, I still remember something from over fifteen years ago. What can I say? I hold a good grudge.

"You looked younger when you visited my middle school." I snapped. She widened her mouth like she was about to say something.

"You were that smartass girl in the back who kept asking questions and trying to make me look stupid."

I guess Maggie can hold a good grudge too.

"I do remember doing a pretty good job." I quipped. Ed smirked at me and I lay back. Having an audience was more fun then you would ever possibly know.

"You did a horrible job. I still got handed my paycheck." She snapped.

"Oh please, everyone has to be handed a paycheck." The door opened. Maggie straightened up as Janine walked in. Her face was pale and she looked scared.

Janine and scared don't go together in the same sentence.

"Hello, Maggie and Ed." She muttered. I looked around.

"Hello, Janine." Maggie said.

"What's up, Janine?" Sam asked her. That seemed to make Janine second-guess her attitude and she snapped her head up.

"I need to speak with Miss Harker and Mr. Yao privately please." She said and Maggie and Ed filled out without questions. I took a deep breath.

"Brooklyn." she said and sat down next to me. "I have some news and a favor to ask of you." I looked over at her.

"We're back in contact with Mullin's." She said to me. "And I have to ask you something." My attention was all on her.

"What's wrong, Janine?"

"I need you to pass a note onto a women at Mullin's. There is a resistance group there and I need you to-" I cut her off. My head was spinning. A resistance? Since when?

"Stop." Sam took me in his arms.

"Janine, she's not ready. Go find someone else, or better yet, let Mullin's deal with their own problem. Since when have they ever really given a damn about us?" Sam hissed. I pressed myself away from him.

"Sara. Can you go find Sara? She needs to be here." I whispered and Janine nodded.

"Ok. If I get here can we all talk about this rationally?" She asked and I nodded. Janine got up and walked out of the building, returning with a worried looking Sara.

"Brooklyn? What's wrong?" She asked and walked over to Sam and me. I shrugged.

"Brooklyn, I need you to deliver a message to Mullin's-" Sara stopped Janine.

"Wait a second, Janine. I can do it. Jody can do it. Maggie can do it. Evan can as can Simon or Jordan or Justin or any of the other runners. Why does Brooklyn have to?" She asked.

"Because odds are the people in the resistance know our dead Miss Harker and she should be able to pass things along safely and also there is the little lies that the base has been telling them about Miss Harker's unfortunate demise. If we can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the base is evil then they should be able to overthrow and-" Janine was again cut off by Sam's protests.

"Why do we care?" He asked.

"Because we are all human, Mr. Yao." Janine snapped. I took a deep breath. "When you're better Miss Harker. I'll speak with Dr. Myers. Would you be willing? I wouldn't have you go in. Just to the edge and pass a few notes." She asked. I smiled.

"Of course. Anything to show those sons of guns who's in charge around here." I declared. Janine looked at ease. She smiled at me.

"There's a girl." She said. "Do you want someone to go with you?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I'll go alone." Dr. Myers walked over.

"I'll be your controller and since we're only about two miles away from the base you can run there and head to the old mill afterword's then head back. It should only be about a three mile run if you can do it." Dr. Myers said. She told me that in two weeks we could get me back in the field and if I started walking laps now then I might be able to run the three miles to Mullin's. Sara and Janine left and I was left alone with Sam and Dr. Myers. I drummed my finger on the bedside. She passed me two pills and I took them, without hesitation.

"Try to sleep." Dr. Myers said to me but I was far to excited to sleep at all. This was my chance to get even with Mullin's. I was going to show those sons of guns know that I was worth something. I was going to show them that they were always wrong. I couldn't wait.

Conclusion of the night: two weeks was going to go by so freaking slow.

"Want to?" I heard Sam ask and looked over. He was holding Brave New World. I nodded. Might as well try to get two weeks to pass. He lifted it up and started.

"He point on a very slow moving rack filled with test tubes..." He read. I could see why Jake liked the book. It made you think and it was probably one of the only ones available. They burned books when the people at Mullin's took over. I have yet to figure out why.

"Why are French and German dead languages?" Sam asked me after reading the paragraph out loud. I shrugged.

"I don't really know. Maybe because everyone only speak English in the future world." I said and Sam nodded. It made enough sense.

That night Sam and I ended up reading until ten o'clock. I'm embarrassed to say that we only got through the one chapter. Sometimes we would stop and talk and sometimes I would start to cry, as Sam reminded me of Jake.

Needless to say, Brave New World is not as boring as I thought it would be. It's actually pretty cool. It was actually pretty cool to see what people thought the future would look like after the apocalypse.

To bad that we had to be the one's that actually knew what the real apocalypse was like.


	16. So Be It

November 30th 2014

Ok, four things to start my entry. First, Brave New World is not the worst book in the world.

Second, Sam and I have finished the second chapter.

Third, I figured out the people in the book are not hatching birds they are hatching people. I have yet to figure out why they are doing that, but I'm on my way.

Fourth, I hate it here and I want to go running.

Ok, so I have a few more. Fifth, I hate Runner Seven, or Evan, if that's even his real name.

Sixth, Dr. Maxine Myers has no soul.

And lastly, two weeks is going to go by so freaking slow it's not even funny.

I was lying in the hospital bed with my eyes shut as tight as I could make them I was muttering to myself about how everything was going to be ok, as Sam needed to go and Sara had a run. I was alone in the hospital with Dr. Myers and the dead. I could feel my heart racing. I wanted out and I wanted Sara or Sam or Ed or Janine. I wanted someone to tell me things would be ok.

"Shut up, stupid!" I herd a voice snap.

"She's not here! She's dead." Another chimed in.

"You're a stupid! She is not dead! She can't be!" The first one said.

"She got sent back to her castle."

"She did not! They hate her at her castle did you not here her telling-"

"There is not castle! She's just a runner like my mommy." The voice interrupted. I opened my eyes and looked down into the smiling faces of four children.

"There she is!" Little Thomas exclaimed and ran over, jumping up on my bed. I smiled and Suzy followed him. Darry and Jessie were there too. I smiled at the children.

"Hey!" I exclaimed.

"Brooklyn! I was so scared that you were gone forever. My mummy told me that you were going to die." Suzy said and she pressed her head closer to me.

"My daddy said that he wished you would die." Darry said. I bit back a response, reminding myself that I didn't need everyone to like me and that Darry was probably only twelve.

"Shut up, stupid. Brooklyn is not going to die. She's ok. Right, Brooklyn?" Thomas asked.

"Sure thing! I'll be right and up good as new soon." I proclaimed and Jessie passed me a package. It was wrapped in old newspaper and taped with chewing gum.

So let me get this straight, they can have chewing gum but we can't have a hair elastic? Not fair.

I bit back my disgust and peeled away the paper so I could see what was in the package. Chewing gum was gross. It was three books. I looked down. Now I had ten.

Fahrenheit 451, Animal Farm, and The Giver.

Wonderful, now I had even more dystopian novels. I smiled at them and took little Suzy and Thomas in my arms.

"Thank you so much!" I exclaimed. "You guys are so sweet." I ruffled Darry's hair and kissed Thomas's cheek.

"You must be bored, bored, bored, bored here alone." Jessie said and she skipped over to my bedside table (plastic box that I keep my things on.) She picked up the few other books on my bedside.

"Brave New World? Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea? Edger Allen Poe's Complete Works?" Darry questioned as Jessie held up the books. I nodded.

"Sam and I are reading Brave New World right now." I said and Jessie giggled and looked over at Suzy.

"Brooklyn and Sam sitting in a tree, K-I-S-" I cut her off.

"Stop that." I scolded. "You can't say that about two people."

"But if it's true-" Darry went on.

"But it's not so please don't." I said and gave the oldest one, Darry a look.

"Sorry, Brooklyn." He muttered.

He didn't seem too sorry.

"Thank you and it's fine." I said and Jessie looked at Thomas.

"But I still think that it would be-"

"Sam and I are very good friends and you need to stop poking your nose into the grown up's business." I said. The hospital door opened. Sara walked in. The kids exchanged glances. I took a deep breath.

In all honesty, Sara probably wouldn't care, but it was getting late and they needed to get home. I made my eyes big and I gasped.

" Quick! Someone's coming! You got to run home before they see you!" I exclaimed and Darry grabbed Suzy and Thomas and they all took of down the hospital wing. I relaxed backwards and looked up. Suddenly, I wanted to run just like those kids. I wanted to be out of here and I wanted more then the world to be out of the hospital. Sara walked over.

"Hey, honey." She said. I looked up.

"Hey, Sara." She walked over. I looked around. She smiled.

"How are you feeling?" She asked. My eyes got desperate.

"Sara, get me out of here." I begged. My mind flashed to a time when Sara and I didn't get along. I couldn't brush the thoughts. Were these people really my friends or did they just need a new runner? What is a friend and do they exist anymore? I'd always kept to myself, but right now I wished that I knew what a real companion was.

"What do you mean, honey?" She asked me.

"I want out of here now. Sara, if I don't get out of here then I'll go crazy and I won't be able to run. You don't understand, please, Sara, just let me walk." I begged and I could feel myself starting to cry.

No, none of the people will take me seriously if I cry like that. I thought, not even sure if it was safe to call them friends anymore. Sara looked around.

"Dr. Myers!" She called and the doctor came over. "Can Brooklyn and I take a little walk?" She asked. Dr. Myers looked down at me and nodded.

"Be back soon, but if you want to run anymore you'll need to start getting strong again. Sara is right." She said and took both of my hands. I kicked the blankets off.

Shit and hell I was so excited. Dr. Myers took my hands and pulled me out of the bed, steadying me

"Stand here so I can check and make sure your vitals are ok." She said and I nodded.

"My vitals are fine. I'm sure of it. Trust me on this one and-" Dr. Myers cut me off.

"You also thought that with a bullet through your shoulder you didn't need to be here. What were you before the outbreak?" She snapped. "Certainty not a doctor."

"A stripper." I muttered under my breath. Not true, but it was the first thing that came to mind and would shock goody two shoes live by the book, Dr. Myers.

"What did you say?" She asked.

"Nothing." I said, blushing. She pressed a thermometer to my tongue.

"A little hot, but nothing we can't fix." She said, cheerily and pulled out a stethoscope.

Crap. I hated these things.

"Your heartbeat is very fast, Brooklyn. Are you ok?" She asked. I gave her the death eye.

"You know why it's fast." I hissed. She gave me an innocent look. Was she really this dense?

"Are you ok?"

"I will be when I get out of here." I snapped. Dr. Myers ignored me.

"I'll call Sam. You two can go for a walk. Sara? Want to-"

"We can walk over to comms." I said. She nodded.

"Ok, will you take her, Sara?" She asked. Sara nodded.

"Of course I will." Together, Sara and I started to walk over to comms.

"Don't be surprised if you feel weak or sick or tired. It's normal. I need you to get used to it, but I also don't want you to push it." She said and I nodded, standing. Sara and I took a few steps when I gasped and crumpled to the ground. Sara grabbed my arm.

"It's ok. You're ok." She said and I took a few deep breaths, pushing myself up. It was hard work and I felt embarrassed as hell walking through Abel like this, but it wasn't like anybody else knew how I felt.

Let's see them lie in a bed for two days strait and still two weeks to go.

I'm hoping to get my sentence reduced though.

"I got this. Let go of my arm." I snapped. Sara let go. I took a deep breath and pretty soon we were walking together, slowly towards the comms station.

"Runner Five! Runner Eight!" I herd Evan's voice snap from behind us.

I started to wonder if he was always in work world and if he even knew our real names.

"My name is Brooklyn!" I called to him and he stopped next to us.

"Will she still be a runner?" He asked. My heart stopped. What was he talking about? If I couldn't run I'd go crazy.

"I wouldn't give it up for the world." I proclaimed and he nodded.

"Be careful, Miss Harker." He said. It ticked me off. Evan's whole 'I'm better then you becasue I'm a part of the army' attitude ticked me off.

"Was that a threat?" I asked and he shook his head.

"A piece of helpful advice." He said. I nodded.

It sounded like a threat to me, but I wasn't going to argue any more, for fear of dropping dead of exhaustion. It was freezing.

"Whatever." I muttered and started to walk again. Sara and I reached the comms shack within the ten-minute mark. I knocked on the door.

"Just come in, but remember the secret pass code to unlock the door. You can just in it into the keypad and if you-" I herd Sam's voice call. I laughed. He was always making jokes about the comms shack. Sara opened the door for me.

"What secret pass code?" I said and Sam looked over getting up and embracing me.

"You're up!" He exclaimed. I nodded. "I'm glad to see your ok." He said and turned to the screen. "Ok, Jody, yah, everything is fine, Runner Five is up and around."

"Hey, Jody. We never really met, unless you count the time that I helped Suzy."

"Hey, Brooklyn. You made quite the name for yourself pretty fast." Jody said. I laughed.

"Sure did. Your daughter is the sweetest thing." I said.

"Really? Try living with her. She's a little fireball." Jody said.

"Sam!" I herd an angry voice call from outside.

"Shit." Sam swore. "That's Janine. She's going to bother me about the beer that I spilt all over her papers and good clean floor. Yah, this place is never clean." He said. I laughed.

"I'll go with you Sam. We can tell her that it wasn't all your fault and that Simon spilled some of it." Sara said.

"Brooklyn? Will you wait here with Jody on microphone? She's out on a run. Just sit here. She knows what to do." Sam said. I nodded.

"If you come visit me tonight." I said. He nodded. "And miss a chance to figure out what happens to the babies that get electrically shocked? Not a chance." Sam said and he ruffled my hair a little. "I'll be there, Brooklyn."

I knew it was just a page in the book but the fact that people in the book were shocking babies with wires so that they would be scared of books made me sad. They were just trying to keep power over the whole state. The god damn state is in charge of that world. They didn't want to lose their iron first and books made people want to know. Made people want to challenge ideas. The god damn state couldn't let that happen. No because god forbid people think on their own. I was so glad that we had Abel and not some warped version f Brave New World. The more I read the better I felt. It was a horrible place to live. Abel was not.

The door to the comms station shut and it suddenly snapped into place. Mullin's did the same thing. This is why everyone wanted me to read it. This is why Jake liked it so much. I laughed at my own discovery. I was so stupid.

My first emotion was joy. Sam and Janine were going to be proud.

Then came anger. How could Mullin's do something like this?

Then realization. I needed to stop it and messages between the lines weren't the way. I looked around and sat down in Sam's seat. I took a hold of a mouse and clicked around for a little until I found the emails. I clicked down under Mullin's.

**Major Ivory: When the chopper crashed my people got shaken up around here. You need to keep things under wraps. We are telling them it was a suicide on Miss Harker's part. Don't give us away.**

** Janine De Luca: I won't lie to anyone.**

** Major Ivory: We have firepower and Major DeSota is away. Am I correct, Ms. De Luca?**

** Janine De Luca: I won't lie and you shouldn't be either.**

** Major Ivory: I just need to know that you won't give us away. **

** Janine De Luca: Fine**

** Major Ivory: Are you having problems with Miss Harker?**

** Janine De Luca: She's a lovely young lady and an amazing addition to this base. I don't know why you think ill of her. **

** Major Ivory: She causes problems and not to mention the death. It follows her around. Everyone she's every loved has died. **

** Janine De Luca: I don't believe in wives tales, Major. I can assure you of that, now I'll ask you one more time not to lie to the people at your base and to let me send Miss Harker back to her home. **

** Major Ivory: No. She's trouble. I already have a rebellion to deal with. I know who's in the plot. Let me deal with it myself, Ms. De Luca. Can you swear that you won't tell? **

** Janine De Luca: Yes, just don't cause discord. We are in this together, Major Ivory. The entire human race. **

**Major Ivory: We are going to be shutting of transmission in a few weeks. We'll be a black zone for Rofflenet. **

** Janine De Luca: You can't do that!**

** Major Ivory: We can do whatever is best for the people and us. **

** Janine De Luca: Why are you telling us this?**

** Major Ivory: We're in this together, Abel Township. The entire human race.**

** Janine De Luca: Stop, just stop. You can't down all the comms. You need to consider everyone else. **

** Major Ivory: You do to. Consider your town and the people. **

** Janine De Luca: We care about each other at Abel and I would always do what's best for the town. **

** Major Ivory: Then dispose of Miss Harker before things get out of hand. **

** Janine De Luca: Brooklyn is a person and I would never think about hurting another person like that. You're a monster. **

** Major Ivory: Suit yourself but with such a weak force I would think that you would want all of the defense you can get. Your base will be taken down easily.**

** Janine De Luca; Is that a threat? **

** Major Ivory: No, a promise. **

I gasped and backed up. This was not ok. This was so wrong. I was dead to Mullin's and as good as dead to everyone here, if I couldn't run soon. I turned to face the computer. I couldn't contain my anger and disgust at the base, and believe me, I tried.

Mullin's was evil.

Major Ivory was evil and I hated him now more then I'd ever hated him. He couldn't threaten to attack Abel and he couldn't tell them to kill me. He also couldn't try to sweet talk Janine De Luca into a false sense of security, like he did to me when I was first there. I sat down in Sam's chair and started to type to him. It was just my anger talking. I needed to get it out and right now I was not thinking right and proper. I changed Janine's name to my name and started to type.

**Brooklyn Harker: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH, MULLIN'S BASE! GO DIE IN A HOLE YOU SON OF A BITCH! I AM NOT DEAD AND IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT DOING ANYTHING TO ABEL I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF, YOU PICES OF GOOD FOR NOTHING SHIT! GO DIE, MAJOR IVORY AND DR. HILLS! I HOPE YOUR BASE BURNS DOWN AND DIES FOREVER. **

I didn't hesitate to press send. It sent a jitter through me that made me feel like I was really getting even.

Sweet revenge and justice felt good.

Major Ivory was not going to know what hit him. He was going to be petrified.

Yah, the jaded military officer was going to be petrified by hate mail from a twenty five year old who could just nearly shoot a gun.

I was the spitting image of terror.

Yah, that's me.

Jody told me to get the gates up and I called for them to raise the gates. I could hear the clicking of the gates as my mind was nearly frozen. The door opened. Evan walked in his cold brown eyes staring me over.

I did not need to deal with his goddamn conspiracy theories for how I was planning a takeover and I most certainly didn't want to deal with his patronizing manners.

"Five, Dr. Myers has instructed me to help you start to get some strength back." He said.

"It's been what? All a of two days?" I snapped. He gave me a smirk. I hated that smirk.

"You'll be surprised what happens in two days of lying in a bed." He said and together we walked over to the rec center, where he passed me two pound weights and I lifted them easy.

This was going to be easy and I was going to rub it in Evan's face.

That's what I thought until he handed me two ten pound weights. I almost dropped them.

Evan helped me lift them a few times, until my arms were sore and I put them down. I had no idea how this was going to get my shoulder, better, but I decided not to fight them on it.

"You're doing good, Five." Evan said. Stop trying to be encouraging! I thought to myself and almost hurled the weight at his head.

Yah, ok, if I could get the weight over my head.

Evan took the weights after a few minutes and we started to run around the building.

"How long are we going for?" I asked, already sick a tired.

"A mile." He told me and sped up. My legs burned but I didn't stop. I lost track of time and when Evan told me I could stop I collapsed to the ground and gasped for air.

Oh, yah, I was totally better. I hated myself for being so cocky and god damn impulsive. My entire body ached. I could hear Evan calling for me to get up, but it hurt too much. I felt myself being lifted up and I hated the fact that I was so short that three fourths of the town could lift me up with no problem.

That really worked against me sometimes.

Like now.

I wanted Evan to put me down so I could try to walk, and I would have struggled against him, had I not been so tired.

"I still can't stand you.." I muttered to him and probably passed out in his arms.

I'll tell you this; I didn't trust Evan, but he was strong and able and devoted to the community.

It's also still only seven o'clock.

With people all around.

Evan wouldn't try to kill me.

He would bring me back to the hospital, not his evil layer, which I was sure that he kept hidden from everyone here at Abel, yet I knew he had.

I suspected it was in the rec hall or the armory.

I bet he kept his dead bodies there.

I know, I've been told that's not a very funny joke so many times, but right now it was all I could think of and when I woke up aching, I really did think I was in Evan's secret layer.

Then I noticed it was just the hospital and I rolled my eyes. Damn, I almost preferred the (probably non existent) secret layer.

"Hey, Brooklyn. You feeling any better?" Sam asked. I looked up and forced a smile.

Or maybe I really did smile when I saw the eternally cheerful and loyal as hell Sam Yao.

"I'm getting better." I insisted. "I'm going to get training like that from Evan everyday and I'll be back soon." I promised. Sam laughed.

"I'm not worried about you." He laughed and paused. "But I do feel bad for the little boy in that chapter of the book. I mean, all the kids were being means because he didn't want to sleep around!"

"I know!" I said, sitting up. Janine walked over.

"You two are completely missing the point of that book." She sighed and sat down. Sam turned to her. I could tell they were going to start arguing.

"We are not. We know about Bernard and Lenina and the State and-"

"Yes, but you're missing the point of the book."

"And you're so smart and you totally get everything. That book is crazy, Janine." He said and we laughed. "The kids sleep with each other. The KIDS!" He exclaimed. Janine looked exasperated.

"It's because-"

"Ok, no one wants to hear it." Sam said and he picked up the book. I cut him off.

"No, let her talk." I said. Janine laughed and Sam made a face.

"They are all sleeping around because the society does not let you have a intimate relationship with family. They take the meaning out of the act and they force people to care more about their loyalty to that state then anything. They take the meaning out of family." Janine said. I nodded.

It sounded really familiar.

Sam laughed. It broke me from my state of discord and confusion. His laugh made me feel warm inside. I liked Sam. He was defiantly someone I could call a true friend. He was the closest thing I had to a real family too. Him and Sara Smith, who I never thought I would ever call a friend, let alone family.

"You're so crazy, Janine. Just stop talking. Really, just-"

"I'm right. You know I'm right." She said and I smirked. Janine turned to me and then as if she suddenly remembered asked me how things went at my session with Evan.

Fine. As good as they're going to get. Evan is a jerk. I thought.

"Awesome. Evan will have me fixed up good as new soon." I said. Sam took the book in his hands.

"Good bye, Janine. I'm going to read now and I really don't want you here when I do."

"My sympathies to poor Miss Harker, who has to listen to that." She said as she walked out.

"Good bye, Janine." Sam said againe and I smiled, as he ushered her out and closed the door. He sat back down in the chair. "Want to find out what happens?" He asked. I winked.

"Maybe we can get more then two chapters done." He laughed. We did. I was very proud and I could tell Sam was too.

We finished three chapters.

Sam and I planned to stay up the entire night reading. We finished chapters three, four, and five. He moved the chair and sat up on the bed with me and we read for about three hour, until we started to get off topic and talk. I was surprised it too us this long to get off topic.

I will say I am disgusted with the new world that the people of the book live in and I'll never tell Sam, but I think Janine is right about everything. In the new world there is no such thing as family and I realized that out world is pretty much the same.

"Sam, you think that we have family now?" I asked and he stopped reading.

"Of course people still have family. Some people lost family, but we didn't get rid of the idea like in the book." Sam said and I nodded.

True and it was a good enough explanation for me.

"Lenina is a slut." I whispered. He laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Bernard seems to be cool though." I smiled. "He's like you and the base." I smiled up at Sam. It was quiet for a little and then he said something that changed my entire night. Really got me thinking and wondering.

"Let's talk about before." I looked up.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because if we don't then we're just like the people in the book. Forgetting to save us heartbreak and brainwashing to save us the pain." Sam said.

It took my breath away for a few minutes. I never though cheerful and funny Sam Yao could ever be this serious.

"When I was ten my sister and I used to go the playground. She and I would swing on the swings and Ally, that's her name, used to love the money bars. You remember those?" He asked I nodded. "She and I would read books under the tree and eat ice cream and soda. My parents would never let us at home so we had to sneak it out. I always took the blame when they found it."

"That's sweet." I said. "She sounds amazing."

"When I was fifteen I wanted to go to that rock concert so bad, I snuck out of the house and I had to lie about my age so they would let me in. I flirted with the door man." Sam cracked up.

"We're more alike then you'll ever know, dear and sweet Miss Brooklyn." He said.

"My sister had a boyfriend and he and she got elected prom queen and king, they were younger then me too so it really pissed me off. She got a crown and I stole it when she got home and hid it under my bed so she couldn't find it." He said. I smiled.

"My high school prom sucked. My date stood me up and told me I looked fat in my dress the next day, turns out he bailed to get it on with some other girl in the car." Sam gasped.

"That's horrible! What a jerk! Now I'm glad I didn't date in high school."

"Yah, boy kind of sucked back then, but then again, so did girls." I pointed out.

"Your date was either the biggest loser in the entire world or completely and utterly blind to stand a girl like you up." He said and I smiled.

"Thank you that's sweet but I really don't care." I said but Sam looked determined.

"You know, when three weeks is up, we're going to dance together so that we can both have a real prom." I smiled and my eyes started to water up. I started to cry. I have been doing far too much of that recently, but I couldn't stop it. I cried so violently that I was shaking and that Sam's shirt was probably going to be wet. He pulled me closer, not talking and wrapping his arm around me securely. I looked up and what scared me most is that I couldn't see. I couldn't see anything. It was all blurry.

"Sam!" I chocked out and looked around.

"I'm right here, Brooklyn. I'm right here." He said. "I'm not going anywhere. Just stop crying. Shhhhh...It's all ok." He promised. "I'll take care of you. They're not going to hurt you. No one is."

I didn't really hear what he said, but I felt comforted by the tone and I snapped my eyes shut tighter and wrapped my arm around Sam's chest. He was trying to calm me down and trust me, I was trying to let him but it wasn't working. I just cried and cried. I cried for Jake and Aidan and for my poor parents and for Sam and Ally and for his parents. I cried for Bernard and Lenina from the book and for all of the forgotten souls that no one would ever cry for again.

"Sam?" I forced out when my sobbing subsided. He looked down and pressed a hand to my forehead, probably checking for a non-existent fever.

"What, Brooklyn?" He asked.

"What's worse? To have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?" Sam didn't talk for a few minutes.

"I don't know. I'm bad at that stuff. Ask Janine or Sara." He said.

"What do you think?" He sighed.

"To have loved and lost because then you have something to work towards. Like us. We all got to work towards a better future, but those kids born here, never knew anything different. We knew what it was like and we have memories. Trust me, Brooklyn, that's good. I'd never trade me memoires." I liked that answer and I wrapped my arms around Sam's neck. He was smarter then he thought he was.

"Don't leave." I said. "You help me to stay sane."

"I won't. You just stop crying. Ok? There's nothing to cry about. You're getting better, and no one died today, and hey, we got more then two chapters read!" He exclaimed and I looked up, nodding.

"Sam, I'm sorry-" I started but he didn't let me get anything else out.

"Hey, you don't worry, Five. We're a family here at Abel." He said.

I laughed a little and the door slammed open. Janine walked in with Sara. I could practically see the fumes radiating off of Janine.

Oh shit. I was in for it now.

She walked over and slammed her hand down on the table. Strangely, I didn't regret a thing. I had the right to do what I wanted to. I was an adult.

"God damn it, Brooklyn!" She snapped. I kept my cool. "What did you do that for! Mullin's is on to us now!" she yelled.

"Wait a second, Janine-" Sam started.

"And you! I'm so sick and tired of you jumping to her defense!" Janine yelled. I looked down.

"Janine, you don't know what it's like to-" I started. It was the truth. We all had it hard, but Janine had no idea what it was like to have an open end like that.

"Don't play that game with me, Brooklyn!" She yelled. I sat up straighter.

"God damn it, Janine! You have no idea what it's like to be in my position! To be lied about and manipulated like some-some-some animal!" I yelled. Janine rolled her eyes.

"My god, Brooklyn. Do you even know the extent of the problems that you have caused?" She asked. Sam laid a hand on Janine's shoulder.

"Janine, so the people in Mullin's know that she's alive. They already knew. It was them lying. She didn't give away secrets or anything." Sam finally got out. Janine slammed her hand down again and turned around. I bit my lip. I was going to say something that I hated, but I realized was true.

"Janine, I'm sorry." I said. Everyone stopped. Cocky and attitude filled, Brooklyn Harker just said she was sorry.

Praise the lord what's next? The rise of civilization? Not happening. I can tell you that right now.

"I'm just angry and scared, Janine. It's so hard." I said and suddenly realized that everything I was saying was the truth.

She looked around. Dr. Myers was walking over. "Janine, please don't be angry." I begged and she looked around.

"How can I not be? I thought that we could trust you!" She exclaimed. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Janine, she didn't go leaking our secrets. She sent hate mail." He snapped, after reading over the letter.

"The fact that she sent anything!" Janine exclaimed.

"Janine, what exactly did she send?" Sara asked and took the paper.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Sara was going to hate me. She was going to have my head on a silver plate.

She scanned it. "It's not to bad, Janine. She should have asked us but she cussed them out. That's about all she did." Sara said.

Sra Smith? Jumping to my defense?

What world did I live in?

Yah, I know she felt bad for me, but I thought that she'd be all over a opportunity to say something along the lines of 'Brooklyn is such a dumb idiot. Can you believe it? Throw her to the lions' or in this case, zombies.

"Also, Janine, I hate to pull this card, but you're the reason that I'm in this New Canton mess." I hissed and Janine looked around. I guess she remembered how scared I was and how much I hated it here.

"Brooklyn, I'm sorry I reacted that way." She said. "I'm just frustrated with Mullin's and all." She said and I looked up at her.

"No, Janine. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been snooping and I shouldn't have sent anything. If there is anything I can do, please just tell me and I swear I'll do it." Janine looked around. We could not afford to be angry at each other and she knew it.

"You can deliver that message when you're up. You can go to Mullin's and you can deliver the message to the people of the rebellion." She said. "And you can keep doing that until they make their move or we want you to stop." I nodded. I would do it with pleasure.

"Of course. I swear I will, Janine. Just forgive me." I said and she looked around.

"You're going to have to run so much damn faster to get my trust back, Five, efficient and good worker or not. I treat everyone equal." She snapped.

"But you'll forgive me soon?"

"Maybe." She hissed.

I don't think I'm ever going to be forgiven.

Sara sat down next to me. I looked up. I don't know why but I wanted her approval.

"I'm so sorry, Sara. I really am, but I swear I was just angry and hurt and scared and I don't know why I did it and-"

"I know why you did." Sara said. I looked around. "You are a fiercely independent, and impulsive, sweet, and sensitive girl who needs to learn boundaries." She said. I breathed a sigh of relief. "I know how you feel, honey. We're more alike then you'll ever know." I nodded and propped my head up.

"Sara, why did you used to hate me? I know I asked before but you never really-"

"You just ask far to many questions, Miss Brooklyn." She said and Sam smiled at me, patting my leg.

"Are you angry with me? " I asked him. He looked down.

"Nah, Janine will get over it and we shouldn't have hid those transmissions from you." He said. I sighed. Sam wasn't angry. That counted for a lot in my book. Sara stood up.

"I have to go, Hun. Get some sleep. I'll talk to Janine for you. Take good care of her, Sam." Sara called.

"Sure thing." He responded. "Want some coffee?" He asked. I shook my head. "Want to read for a little?" I shook my head. "Want to go for a walk?" He asked. Again, I shook my head.

"Just sit here with me." I responded. "Let's sit here and think."

"Ok." He said and pulled me closer. "I swear, I'm not angry with you, Brooklyn. I never really get angry at people." He promised. I yawned.

"Sam, will you do me a favor?" I asked. He nodded.

"Sure will, Brooklyn." I motioned over to the binder of papers.

"Read what I have so far and tell me what you think. He scanned the papers.

"It's going to be the bible of the future." He said.

"Thanks, Sam."

"Anytime. Say, tomorrow want to read the entire day? I can have Janine do the missions and I can spend the day with you. We can read and walk and see the kids and-"

"How does Janine feel about this?" I asked.

"She doesn't exactly know yet." He confessed. I hesitated. I didn't want Sam to have to spend all his time here, but I wanted to talk to him so badly.

"Yah, do that." I finally said and he smiled.

"I will."

"We can talk more about what a slut Lenina is." I whispered and he laughed.

"Yah, maybe we'll even finish the book." I said and Sam passed me the nighttime pills. I took them without hesitation.

So quickly I shocked myself.

How could I pop them like that?

I was going to turn into an addict, like Jake. Suddendly I snapped. I needed help controling my life and Sam and his books or Sara and her sweet talk was not going to fix it. I needed someone who knew what to do and someone who used to deal with this.

"Sam! Sam, would you grab Dr. Myers!" I snapped and he nodded, looking confused, but doing what I asked. I could not make his mistakes and I could not cling to that memory anymore. I snapped up. I needed to get rid of this before I went to Mullin's and if therapy was the way to do it then so be it.


	17. Sam's Point of View: Memories

December 5th 2014

Sam Yao here and also not really sure what to say. I guess it's kind of cool that I'm leaving a mark here but I also wonder why Brooklyn doesn't just write the damn entry herself because she knows what to say and I really have no idea, as it was a really uneventful day for anything.

"Sam!" She called and I walked back over to her bed. I know she hates it here in the hospital and less then a week has passed since she was told that she could go on a run in two weeks.

Anyways, she hates the hospital and I really don't know why but still, I can see it in her eyes and not to mention the fact that her mouth virtually has no filter and she spouts out crap about how much she dislikes Dr. Myers and the hospital.

"What's wrong, Brooklyn?" I asked her and she beckoned me to lean closer. I did and she whispered in my ear.

"I want to go for a walk, Sam." I looked around. I helped her up and she straightened the black tank top and the yellow running shorts.

"Yellow looks nice on you." I said and she winked. I knew she'd been doing work with Evan but I still didn't want her walking around any more then she had to.

"Are you sure you're up for a walk?" I asked and she nodded enthusiastically. I helped her up and she almost tripped down and I quickly grabbed her wrist and wrapped my arms around her waist. She looked a little shocked at her trip. I steadied her.

"You're ok." I said and sat her down on the bed. "You want a pill?" I asked her and she shook her head. Brooklyn stood up and I wanted to help her but she probably would have slapped me. We started to walk for the door and I opened it for her.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked and she shrugged.

"Want to walk over to the armory?" I suggested. It was a short walk from the hospital. I could carry her back if she passed or had a heart attack or-

"Sam, are you coming?" I herd her voice call. She was already outside the door. I nodded and pressed the thoughts out of my mind. Brooklyn was impulsive, but she was no idiot. She took my hand when we were outside of the building, like the first day here.

"Brooklyn?" I asked and she turned around, her blue eyes looking into my brown ones. I sighed. It was a question that had been bothering me for so long, well, since she came back.

"What, Sam?" She asked, her eyes were still dancing with excitement about coming out.

"I don't know..." I trailed off. She smiled.

"About the walk? You're overreacting. Trust me, Sam. I'm fine." She said and I flushed.

"Not about the walk today, Brooklyn, just about everything. I can't say I know about Mullin's or what your going through but are you sure you're ok?" I asked her. She might not believe it but she is much more then a pretty face and a wise ass mouth to me. She is Runner Five and I don't know why that made me care about her, but it did. She rolled her eyes and made a face at me. I almost smirked.

"Sam!" She snapped and I sighed. I knew what was coming. "I am freaking fine. Trust me." She said and put both hands on my shoulders. "It's sweet that you care, but trust me. I am freaking fine." I smiled at her. She was going to be ok. I rested an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. It was such a close call and I was not going to lose another runner.

"Therapy with Dr. Myers is surprisingly relaxing." She mused as we walked past some run down sleeping quarters.

"Don't you mean yelling at Dr. Myers and her trying to have a real therapy session with you?" I asked her. I know she had started to try to work out her feelings about Jake and Aidan and Mullin's with Dr. Myers, but as far as I could tell (and hear, yes, she is that loud) was yelling on Brooklyn's part and she'll never admit to it, but sometimes she cried.

"I love to yell at people." She said and I laughed. "It gets your energy working." She said and took a deep breath, walking a little faster. I sped up to her pace. We reached the armory. It had thick stonewalls.

"Mr. Yao!" I herd a voice snap from behind me. I turned around. Brooklyn was smirking. It was Janine. "I need that tool box if you want the lights and signal boosted and none of your runners have picked one up." She hissed. "I expect it by tonight." Brooklyn smiled.

"Hello, Janine." She said and widened her smile into the 'I'm really sorry smile.'

"Miss Harker." She nodded. I saw Brooklyn's face go down. I could tell that she wanted Janine to forgive her badly. I don't know why yet.

Janine was damn prickly and Brooklyn knew it. No one else was mad at her for her hate mail. She should have just dropped it.

"I can go get your tools." She offered, clearly trying to suck up.

"That is unnecessary, Miss Harker. Enjoy your walk." She snapped and then whipped around. "And Mr. Yao, do keep your hands to yourself. I wouldn't want to be forced to take them off." She snapped and I blushed, removing my arm from Brooklyn's shoulder. Janine was good at threatening people. I have yet to figure out if she really intended on hurting me.

I was leaning towards no.

Maybe yes.

"We all know-um-close you are with the runner." She hissed and flounced out. Brooklyn looked down.

"I don't care." She whispered. "In a matter of fact it feels really good, makes me warmer and makes me feel safe to know that I have a friend. Janine is just angry." She whispered. I made no move to put my arm around her shoulder again.

Safe or not I was not going to betray Alice. True, Alice was more of a fantasy and we were close friends, but still.

"Brooklyn-"

"Sam, I can't do it anymore. I can't live alone because I'm scared. I can't keep thinking that I'm alone. I have never had a real friend and I have never really gone on a real date. I dated Jake in high school, yah, sure, but truth is, my parents hated him and we never really went out. We hung out mostly at school and sometimes at the library." She said. That shocked me. I always imagined Jake and her to be inseparable and in love forever. He died for her for crying out loud.

"Well, truth is, Alice and I never really got past-"

"First base?" She asked. It stung a little. Alice was like a best friend to me. I wished she could have seen me as more. I really do and I felt bad. I kind of lied to Brooklyn. Janine and Dr. Myers and even Evan all knew, but Brooklyn, well, she didn't.

"No, we-um-err kind of never left the pitchers mound." Brooklyn smiled at me and laughed.

"Batter stand on home plate, Sam. Pitcher stand on the mound." She said. I laughed. It made me feel better to talk to someone. Brooklyn and I kept walking. She took my hand up again. "I'm grieving, Sam, but I need to move on and I want to be able to associate with other men, even if it's just as a friend, like you. I want to be able to do it without feeling like I'm hurting Jake. Come on, Sam. Help me by helping yourself." She said and I shook my head.

"Sam, we're halfway done with Brave New World and Janine is totally right, we are completely missing the point of the book." She said. Brooklyn never thought that someone else was right. It was her way or the highway.

"What do you mean?" I asked and she looked over at me.

"No one has a family in Brave New World. No one has friends really and they hatch kids." She said, making a face. "There are no problems because there is no good either. They don't want people caring about the family more then the state." She said. "I don't want to lose myself, Sam." She whispered.

I wanted to say something, believe me I really did but I had no idea what to say. I'd seen her upset before. I'd even seen her cry, but never thoughtful and scared like this.

"Brooklyn, I don't understand." I forced out then quickly amended. "Well, I understand, but I don't get why you feel alone." I said and she looked down and rolled her eyes.

" Jerk." She muttered and walked a little faster. I sighed. I was never going to get that girl. I amended the thought in my head. I was never going to get girls in general.

"Whatever." I snapped and she sighed.

"Look, Sam, I'm sorry, I just-whatever." She said after a few minutes of struggling to finish her sentence.

"Want to just drop it?" I asked her. She nodded. I hate when I get into fights with people.

Except Janine. I can't stand her. I sighed. Brooklyn got her kicks out of doing stuff to make other people angry. She got her kicks out of being a rebel and she got it out of being alone/ It was a sort of defense mechanism if you though about it. I put an arm around her shoulder. I felt bad for her. I made me feel a little guilty for not doing something for her sooner.

"Sam, I really appreciate everything you have done for me." She said. I smiled at her. Back too normal.

"It was worth every second. We got a good runner!" I said and she laughed. We opened the door to the armory and walked in.

"Say, wasn't this place Janine's house before anything?" Brooklyn asked. I nodded.

"Yes, she loves to hold that over our head." I whispered back and Brooklyn and I started pocking through the ammo and guns.

"We really need to get a life." She laughed and I snickered, picking up a gun.

"To e honest, guns scare me." I said to her and she smiled.

"They don't scare me. Nothing does." She said and took the gun, putting it back. We spent the next half hour fooling around in the armory. It was pretty fun, until I fell smack on my face. I was a bit of a klutz.

"Oh my god, Sam! Are you ok?" Brooklyn asked. "Should I call Dr. Myers?" She asked. I shook my head feeling a sudden rush of sympathy for what she'd been going through all week.

"I'm fine, Brooklyn." I responded and looked down under a bed in the armory. Guards sometimes slept there. It was a box. I reached under and dragged it out. She knelt down to my level.

"Want to open it?" She whispered. I nodded.

"Yes more then anything, but Janine or the Major, they're going to-" She cut me off. Her hand was already undoing the rope holding the box shut. It was a bunch of photos. He lips pursed and she picked one up. It was of a women posing with a man. Brooklyn smiled.

"I like photos." She said. "Especially of before. They make me feel fuzzy." She said and I smiled, taking the picture from her and gasping.

"Oh my good god, save us." I whispered. I think I might have given Brooklyn a fright.

"What? What is it?" She asked and looked over, craning her neck to see. I laughed. Her face creased over and she looked up. "I don't get it. What's so funny?" She asked. I couldn't stop laughing.

"It's-it's that lady in the picture-that's Janine!" I coughed out and Brooklyn's eyes bulged.

"You're screwing with me." She said and grabbed the photo. "You are kidding me!" She exclaimed. I shook my head. The woman in the photo was Janine all the same. She had the same green eyes and slim figure, but at the same time it wasn't Janine at all. Her eyes were bright and she was smiling. It made me feel weird to see this photo.

But not weird enough to stop looking through them.

These things were priceless. I could probably keep Janine out of my comms station forever with a little blackmail and theses.

"Oh crap, look at this, Sam!" She exclaimed and passed me a photo. I looked into Brooklyn's eyes. She was smirking and I wondered if she was going to say anything to Janine about this. I took a look at the picture she was holding up. It was of Janine kissing the man and she was wearing a yellow bikini. Brooklyn and I cracked up and for a minute it felt just like before the plague and like I was talking to a friend or even at the start of a plague with Alice. I herd footsteps and Sara and Evan's voice. Brooklyn looked over at me and ushered me into the broom closet thing filled with cases of ammo. We sat there for ten minutes squished together and breathing. I still had the box of photos clutched to my chest.

"Evan, where on earth could they be? Janine said to try here and we've looked all over. God, Evan if anything happened to either of them what-" Sara worried. I looked over at Brooklyn. Her face crinkled a little. I could tell that she felt bad about hurting and worrying Sara. I knew that they got off to a rough start. I couldn't count the endless hours Sara would spend thinking up ways Brooklyn would hurt us and the ways Brooklyn talked about Sara was worse then Dr. Myers.

It was really to bad they made such a good team. I was really glad when Sara came in to help her. Granted, she just did it because Brooklyn reminded her of her son, but it was a start.

Now I'm pretty sure that the two get along good. I'm glad that Brooklyn warmed up to her and I'm glad Sara got over her fears. Brooklyn needed to be able to count on someone to guide her and Sara needed someone to look over and feel needed by.

"They'll be gone soon and then we can go out." I promised her. She nodded and wiped the frown off f her face.

"You think they're in here?" Evan asked.

"Wouldn't put it past them." Sara said. "I bet Brooklyn's hiding out here and Sam's helping her."

"I bet Sam's encouraging it, if you know what I mean." Evan hissed at Sara.

"Evan, come on now. You know that Sam's been grieving over Alice. Brooklyn might be just what he needs."

My blood ran cold. No. Brooklyn was a friend. A trusted and sweet friend, but just a friend. Sure, she was a pretty girl and a good runner, but that did not mean that I liked her.

Alice. I loved Alice. She never loved me. I thought, pain filled my chest. I looked over to see Brooklyn's reaction. She was as red as I'd ever seen her and looking down at the ground.

"And Brooklyn has that boy, god what's his name? The dead one?" I herd Evan say and I looked over. She looked like she wanted to get up and slap Evan.

"Jake. His name is Jake." She muttered to me. I started to pray to god that she didn't do anything. Evan would not find it funny. Neither would Sara for that matter.

"Evan, do you think they're ok?" Sara asked. I smirked. All the times Brooklyn told me that Sara wanted to kill her in her sleep and I told her that she didn't were coming back to bite her in the ass. She was wrong and I was right.

"Told you-" I started but she stuck her tongue out at me.

"Shut up, Sam." She snapped and I smirked.

"Tol-" I started again. I was going to get it out if it killed me.

"Shut the hell up! You are not right! She just feels bad for me." Brooklyn hissed.

"She really cares about you so told you so." I whispered and she pressed her lower lip out in a pout.

"Snap out of it." She whispered.

"Maybe we should check around here a little." Sara said and I could hear a closet door open. Brooklyn looked over at me.

"What do we do?" she asked. I looked around. We were in for it. Then I herd a voice.

"Evan! My mommy needs you. She says that she needs to find Sam and go for a tech run for Janine." I herd Suzy call. Brooklyn gave herself a face palm.

"Shit." She swore.

"I'll find him. He's running around with that Brooklyn somewhere." Evan called.

"No! Mummy said that-"

"Shut up, stupid!" I herd another voice say. Brooklyn smiled. "Sam and Brooklyn are at the rec center." I herd Darry call. Brooklyn smiled. I could see she was visibly relived. She didn't like Evan. I herd the main door close. Brooklyn kicked the door open and we both crawled out. Her pout was gone and she was smiling at me.

"Well that was kind of fun." She snickered and Darry and Suzy came running in. Suzy threw her arms around Brooklyn and Darry just kind of stood there.

"Brooklyn!" She exclaimed. "I was worried. I thought that they took you away and then Janine said that you and Sam went for a walk and- what are those?" She asked, looking at the box. I would have laughed about it with the kids but Brooklyn pulled it away. She still wanted Janine to forgive her.

"Nothing that little eyes need to see. Now come on, want to go get some lunch and then maybe I can teach you how to play four square." She said and Suzy clapped.

"Sam, can we sing around the fire tonight. Pleassseee." She begged taking my hand.

"I don't know any songs." I said and Brooklyn smiled. "Do you?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"None appropriate for here." She responded. Suzy's face fell.

"I'll tell you what. If you can find one then we'll sing it." I said and she smiled again. Brooklyn snorted.

"Speak for yourself! I can't sing at all." She said.

"Not true! You have a pretty voice." Suzy said. Brooklyn made a face.

"I'm as tone deaf as it gets. Trust me." She said and picked Suzy up.

"She's right. Trust her. I hear her in the shower and at night. My daddy says she has a horrible voice." Darry responded. I looked over at Brooklyn. I could see the 'screw people who don't trust me yet' expression.

"You know I would love to meet your dad one day." She responded, only sarcastic to my ears.

"He hates-"

"Shut it. Brooklyn is amazing. My mummy says so and you know what? My mummy is always right." Suzy proclaimed. Brooklyn grabbed my wrist.

"Sam, the pictures." She said. "We should put them back. Janine might want them." I looked down and sighed. I knew where they were if I ever needed anything from Janine. "I'll go do it. You can go find Jody and go get Janine's tools." I nodded. "Make sure they get back safe." She said and I nodded. Brooklyn took the box and started off towards the armory again. I found Jody and together we walked back to the comms desk. I passed her a headset and nodded. Soon she was at the gates.

"Ok, raise the gates!" I called. "Covering fire, gates are open and Runner Four, go!" I called. The blimp on the screen started at a steady pace. Jody was fast and nimble; unfortunately she was also the biggest wimp here, not like I'd ever tell her that though.

"Sam, what do we need today?" She asked.

"Tools for Janine and light bulbs, but also if you pass by the Johansson Hospital, you might be able to pick up some pills. We're running low." I said.

"Not due to Brooklyn." Jody commented. "She hates those pills. Sometimes she gives them to Suzy to throw out for her." I looked around.

"I know. She just hates being helpless and all." I said.

"She never sleeps you know, and when she does she has horrible dreams." Jody said. I changed the subject.

"You should have some zombies on your left, Four. Can you outpace them for me really quick?"

"Sam!" She groaned, like I was the one who controlled the undead.

"These damn undead have no respect for you runners." I joked. She sped her pace up. "You should also be hitting a hardware store that New Canton has claimed. Can you grab the tools for Janine and if we're lucky they might have some bulbs and seeds. Can you check?" Jody did and I turned out. They had a box of bulbs and three cartons of seeds but no tools.

Wonderful.

"It's ok, Jody. Just head in. Evan can get them later." I said and sighed. Abel was doing ok, but truth was we needed a lot of major improvements to even try to think about getting to be anywhere as near as New Canton.

"What's on your mind, Sam?" Jody asked.

"Nothing." I responded, but that was a total lie. I had a lot on my mind.

"Do you want me to get Evan?" I nodded. "I can't hear you, Sam. Do you want me to get Evan?"

"Yes. That would be great." I responded and took a deep breath. It was going to be a long day. I herd a knock on the door. Janine walked in just as I was about to make a joke about the password and keypad.

It made me glad that I didn't say anything.

"Have you gotten the tools, Mr. Yao?" She asked.

"No, Janine. I have not now go away and get out of my comms shack!" I snapped. She came and sat down next to me.

"I need them now, Mr. Yao and if you-"

"Get out, Janine!" I said, getting more annoyed with her.

"Mr. Yao, I do remind you that-" I got up.

"Out. Now, Janine. I don't want to deal with you now. I have enough to worry about." I snapped. She shook her head.

"I don't know if you understand how important those tools are. If you weren't so sensitive and annoying I'd just kick you out and do it myself." She hissed. Then I got an idea. It was by no means a genius idea but it was still an idea.

"You go be nice to Brooklyn and tell her your not mad and I'll let you and Evan do whatever you need to do to get the god damn tools."

I'm not going to pretend that it was some sacrifice to let Janine do the runs tonight. I can't exactly say I wanted to do them myself. Her eyes perked up.

"Really?"

"Go tell Brooklyn that you forgive her and you can have runs for the rest of the week. Some of us are sick of listening to her talk about how much she misses talking to you." I said. That was a lie. I don't think Brooklyn missed talking to Janine, just someone that won't talk to her and she never once told me that she missed her. I made that up.

"I'll go tell her right now. Get Evan and tell him that I'll be ready in ten for a tech run." She ordered. I groaned but did what she asked.

I honestly did not feel like heading over to the hospital wing and seeing Brooklyn. Before you call me a heartless bastard for not supporting my friend, I had my reasons. Brooklyn acts weird when she's scared and doesn't want to admit it, like in the hospital.

Second, she likes to read and talk about them and that makes me feel stupid. She's a whole hell of a lot more articulate then me.

Third, something else weighs down on me. I think it's Alice and it makes me not want to talk to other girls.

Fourth, today was kind of awkward with her and all.

Lastly, Sara Smith told me to go for it with Brooklyn the other day and that referenced back to number three because I don't think I like Brooklyn that way. I'm not sure yet though. Everything is all messed up right now and I hope it gets straightened out soon.

"Sam! Hey, Sam!" I herd a voice call and I turned around. Sara was walking up to me. I turned around.

"Hey, Sara. How are you?" I asked. She shrugged.

"As good as I can be. Say, will you do something for Brooklyn?" Sara asked. I nodded. It only took a about a second. I had my issues with her and some with Sara to right now, but she was one of my best friends here and she was going through a hard time. I cared about her and I was not going to let her down.

"Of course I will. What does she need me to do?" I asked.

"She's really tired and refusing to take pills to sleep. Evan worked her about as hard as ever. She was running ragged. I mean she'll never admit it, but to tired to write today and it's been a week since she last wrote. You spent the day with her. Could you just write a few pages about your day and all? It would really make her happy." Sara said. I nodded. Brooklyn dictated to me the last couple of days she was in bed and needed to write. I could do one entry.

That's what I thought until I sat down with my pen and paper. Jody asked me to watch Suzy so she could go out one more time with Evan. I didn't mind. That store was a good find, better to send her, Evan, and Maggie out to raid it as fast as we could.

"What you doing?" Suzy asked.

"Writing."

"What you writing?" She bothered.

"Brooklyn's diary entry." I responded. Suzy clapped.

"Brooklyn's diary is awesome! I even started to keep one so I can be just like her. I told my mummy to get hair dye when she goes out so I can even dye my hair like her." Suzy said and grabbed at her pale blonde hair.

"I don't think there is any hair dye and your mummy wouldn't let you dye it if there was." I said and bit at the pen trying to think about what to write and how to end it. Suzy bounced around the room and sang a little song that she made up.

"Tell Brooklyn that she's the most amazing person in the whole entire, entire, entire big world because that's true!" She sang. I sighed.

"Suzy, I'm busy-" I started but she cut me off and bounced more.

"Write it! Write it!" She exclaimed and I sighed and did.

"Suzy, can you please-"

"Tell her I think she's pretty and I want to be just like her when I grow up." Suzy said and I sighed. I knew those kids idolized her. I knew Suzy worshiped her more then anyone else, even her own mother. I knew that Jody got a divorce before the outbreak and Suzy even kept her father's last name instead of her mother's.

Brooklyn, you are really pretty and Suzy want to be just like you when she grows up.

"Tell her you think she's fast and a hero." She said and picked a jump rope up, skipping around. I knew Brooklyn hated being called hero. She thought that it was just a job and the right thing to do.

"I'm no better then she sharpshooters or builders." She would always say and toss her hair and roll her eyes.

Brooklyn, you're really fast.

"Tell her you think she's pretty."

Brooklyn, I think you're very-

"Wait a second." I said, dropping the pen. "I'm not saying that." Suzy giggled.

"You can tell her Suzy Jennings says so because it's true. I think Brooklyn is the most pretty girl in the whole world!" Suzy exclaimed and dropped down to the ground signing again. I finished writing, putting the pen down, taking a minute to think.

Brooklyn, sorry if I did this wrong. I hope you like entry I tried to be as detailed as possible and even include some thoughts of mine.

I wrote and then thought for a minute. She was a good friend. I needed to be there for her.

And believe me, Brooklyn; I'll be over to the hospital as soon as can to sit with you. We can start Fahrenheit 451. Two weeks will be done before you know it, Brooklyn. Trust me on this one. You're going to be ok. Believe me, you are.

I prayed harder then I ever have that I was right about her being ok and that she could hold onto her sanity for two weeks until Dr. Myers thought she was ok to leave.


	18. Helpless

December 14th 2014

Well, two weeks have gone by so damn slow. I was right, as usual. I didn't write at all though. I'm sorry about that. I really am. It was just hard to pick up the pen and look at the date everyday. I can't stand sitting still.

It was a productive two weeks though. Sam and I finished Animal Farm, Brave New World, and The Giver. They were all pretty good but I hated the ending of Brave New World. It bothered me so much that the poor man killed himself in the end of the book that Sam and I decided to write our own ending.

Yah, that didn't turn out so well. It kind of sucked because none of us were really in the mood to write happy things in the middle of the apocalypse and my temporary loss of sanity had a tremendous effect on the content and mood of our writing.

Evan and I trained everyday by lifting weights and running. He would help me stretch and I learned to work through the pain. It was never easy, but Evan told me that it was a necessary measure in my recovery process.

I hate to but have to agree with kind of sexy and creepy all at the same time Evan and I would like to think that I'm back to my former glory.

Sara sat with me sometimes and that surprised me. I knew she felt bad for me but I didn't realize the extent that she would go to. We talked mostly about running and everyday I would try to get her to tell me something about Mullin's but she would never and that annoyed me, even made me a little suspicious sometimes.

I took my pills like a good, brainwashed girl and sat with Dr. Myers spilling all of my problems as she told me things that she thought would help, but in truth I knew they were all lies.

Talking to her wasn't the same as talking to Sara or Sam or Ed only because it was a job for her. They really cared about me and wanted me to forget my issues.

I pretty much let Dr. Maxine Myers treat me like a lab rat, though I knew somewhere deep that she only wanted to help Abel and me.

I knew it somewhere very, very, very, very, deep.

So deep you were going to need to cut me open and sift through my insides to find it.

I wouldn't out it past her, or Janine for that matter. Janine who could hold a grudge better then me. She stayed angry and cold with me the entire two weeks, but she did say that I was in the process of gaining her forgiveness.

I'll tell you it took all the strength that I had not to use those photos against her. I wondered if she still looked at them. I kind of wished Sam and I had taken them because I didn't have any of myself and some part of me wanted to hold onto the before times and photos were a good way of doing that.

Off topic though, I still don't see why Janine was so pissed off, but honestly, I wasn't about to argue with that women. She's damn tricky.

Today, I'm went on my first real run. I was going to deliver a message three miles out to Mullin's and then loop around and hit the old mill for supplies and then head back to Abel where I could sleep. I wasn't going to sleep though. I'd done too much of that already.

Sam woke me up at noon and I looked out the window. It was raining. It looked late and not like the middle the day. He sat down next to me.

"Looks more like the middle of the night!" He exclaimed. "We can't see the sun!" He laughed. "We're going to need you more then ever today, Miss Sunshine." He said.

"I'm not the freaking sunshine!" I said and he smiled. His expression changed a little after and he brushed some hair out of my eyes.

"How are you, Brooklyn?" He asked. "Are you ready for this?" I nodded. I wouldn't pass this up for the entire world and I was so sick of this goddamn hospital.

"Believe me, Sam. I wouldn't pass it up for the whole world." I promised and he smiled at me. I got up and Sam walked me over to the showers.

"You can take a quick one if you want." He said and I nodded. I walked over to the bathroom. He didn't move.

"I'm not taking anything off until you're gone." I said and he blushed a bright red and shuffles out. I took my clothing off and let it fall to the ground and I just stood in the room naked for a few minutes. It felt good to feel cold. It made me feel alive.

I constantly needed reassurance that my pulse was still there. I would always press my finger to my wrist and then my neck and then to my chest so that I could feel my heartbeat and my pulse. It made me feel better to know that I was still breathing.

I turned the water on and inhaled the smell of fresh water. Yes, in my world it does have a smell. It felt refreshing and I hated to turn it off, but I did after five minutes. I was groping for a towel that Sam left for me but when I lifted it to my eyes I coughed.

No way was that coming anywhere near me. There was dirt and god knows what on it. Probably blood. I took the clothing that Sam left and put it on. My hair was still soaked and I really didn't want to walk outside with wet hair.

Too bad all the blow dryers died with the majority of human civilization.

"Need some help, honey?" I herd Sara say. I turned around to face her and nodded. She took her hair elastic out and brushed my hair back with her hands. "I was planning to have another child before the gray plague hit the east." She said. "I wanted a daughter. Two boys are, well, it's hard. I loved them though." She said and braided my hair.

"I'm sure you were a great mother." I said and she smiled at me.

"What about your parents? What were they like?" She asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Nothing like you." I muttered and Sara smiled. "They were both in the military. My mom was a corporal and my dad was a major. They were just really uptight and all." I said. She turned me around and I looked at her.

"I could come maybe-" I cut her off.

"No, Sara, I appreciate your concern. I really do, but I can do it on my own." I said and she nodded at me.

"I'm going to be worried for you." She said.

"Try not to bite all your nails off." I said and she followed me out of the bathroom.

"Be quiet, Brooklyn." She said. "Maybe I could go. You don't know what it's like to do spy work and army work. I was in the military. You're also still getting over a fever and-" I winked at her. She still looked worried.

"Sara, I'll be fine. Trust me! I don't get caught. I drop the message off and I book out of there. I can do it, easy!" She sighed and to my surprised she pulled me into an embrace. At first I was kind of stunned and didn't really know what to do, but I found myself embracing her back.

"You hurry home, honey and do not stop for anything. I don't care what it is and I don't care who tells you too, get home as soon as you can." I nodded. "Remember, Brooklyn. Just breath. When you get scared or feel alone, just take a deep breath and think about the situation then act accordingly. If you need help, radio. Maybe we could send you with a gun and maybe-"

"Sara, go away, you are making me nervous." I snapped. She nodded and walked me to the gates. I adjusted my headset.

"Ok, Runner Five, just a training run to see how you're doing. Janine should be out in a few minutes with your note." She said and I nodded. Sure enough, Janine exited the building and walked up to me, passing me the note.

"If you open it then I'll be forced to-"

"Shut up, Janine." I muttered and took the note. She sighed and walked away.

"Ok, Brooklyn, if you get tired, you can stop at any point." She said and I nodded. "Ready?"

"Sam. Is Sam with you?" I asked.

"I'm right here, Brooklyn." Sam promised. I took a deep breath.

"Raise the gates!" Sam called and I took off before he could ask if I was ready. The first mile was hard. My legs ached and the cold air whipped my face and made it harder to breath. I coughed desperately and wiped some tears of frustration out of my eyes. I was such a goddamn crybaby.

"Dr. Myers..." I gasped. "I can't! I can't, oh god, I'm going to die." I cried out. She took a deep breath.

"Calm down, Five. Just calm down and take a deep breath." She said. I remembered Sara's words and did as she said.

As Sara said.

Not Dr. Myers.

"Ok, Five can you keep running? You made it a mile and it's getting colder. Another two miles to Mullin's." She said. I nodded.

"You got this, Runner Five but you have three zombies to your right and seven to your left. All crawlers. You can outpace them easy, Sunshine. Just-"

"Call me that againe and I swear I'll slap you." I snapped at Sam. He chuckled. I sped up my pace though. It was still hurting but the stabbing pain was gone and it was only a dull and numbing pain.

"You should be hitting the base in a few minutes. When you get their head around the back and you should be able to-"

"Sam, I lived there for quite some time. I should be able to find my way around." I snapped. He laughed.

"Yah, that's right. If anyone knows how to get in and out of that place it's you, Five." I smirked at Sam. "Just be careful, Brooklyn. If they see you. They'll have your head on a-"

"Let her be, Sam. She needs to get this done fast. Runner Five, They'll be waiting for you at Barrack Three. Do you know where that is?" She asked. I laughed.

"That's where I stayed!" I exclaimed. "Who in my barracks are organizing a rebellion?" I wondered aloud.

"Just worry about getting in now, Five." She said and I nodded, quickly remembering my attitude towards Dr. Myers.

She was just like Dr. Hills. I scolded myself. You cannot even come close to liking her. I thought.

"I'll do whatever I want to do." I snapped and started towards the back of Barrack Seven and looked at the wires. Justas Jake had always told me, the wires there were less shark.

Less sharp.

You can do this, Brooklyn. You can do it. Take a deep breath and-

I wrapped my hands around the wires and pulled myself off the ground. It hurt and I could feel the barbs digging into my hands.

It could be worse. It could be a sharper fence. I thought and hauled myself up until I was at the top of the fence. I should have worked my way down at the same pace but it was hurting so much that I just let myself drop onto the ground. I gasped as I landed on my shoulder and on my stomach. After a few seconds awareness struck me.

I was back at Mullin's.

And I was lying on the ground almost in tears.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. How many ways can I tell you how wrong that it? I calmed myself down and propped myself up, looking around. Barrack Seven. I was behind Barrack Seven.

"Ok, Brooklyn, head to your-" Dr. Myers started but I cut her off.

"Shut up, Dr. Myers. You think I don't know where to go?" I hissed at her viciously.

"Ok, Brooklyn. We'll stop talking. Just give the women the note." Sam said and I stood up and started at a fast run for the barracks. I flitted around the buildings like a shadow. Running might have been hard, but I remembered how to do this. Jake and I used to sneak around hear all the time.

I reached Barrack Three within the four-minute mark.

"Ok, are you there, Five?" I blinked back tears. It was an emotional experience. I could feel the past rushing back. "Brooklyn, talk to me." Sam warned. I gasped a little. "Come on, Five. Just do what you need to do." I banged on the door, but never waited for a response. Instead I just barged in and looked around. A circle of people was sitting on the ground.

"Runner from Abel Townsh-" A women started and stood. Her eyes widened. I recognized her as my old bunkmate and fellow rebel, Mina. She never had strikes like me and Jake and she never even used her name, but she remembered her name and that alone was a gutsy move. "Brooklyn." She said. I smiled and embraced her. "How have you been?" She asked and I sat down in the circle.

"Not bad, as good as it gets in the apocalypse. I'm a runner for Abel now." I said.

"But then told us you crashed the chopper and killed yourself." A man spoke up.

"They lied, just like they always do." I hissed. "When the chopper crashed I got attacked by a herd of zombies and ran to Abel. It's great there. They let you do whatever you want and everyone has a name and we all have jobs that we enjoy, but off topic. Sam Yao, he's my friend, petitioned for me to stay there and now I'm a runner." I said.

"That's amazing." A young woman told me. "What did you say your name was?"

"Brooklyn, as in the town." I said. "What's your-um-number?" I asked.

"We all have names in this circle." Mina told me. "Not all of them remembered but they decided that what Mullin's was doing is wrong and now they have names and we're organizing a resistance with Abel's help." Mina told me. "You're are messenger and our inspiration." The man said. I must have smiled brighter then ever. To know that I was an inspiration and a role model felt good.

"I'm not the one who should be idolized. You should be thanking my boyfriend for the knowledge that what Mullin's is doing is wrong. He knew before me and he taught me everything." I said. Mina smiled. She knew he was gone.

"I'm Lea." The young women introduced.

"Fred."

"Kenny."

"Pearl."

"Mary."

"Clarisse."

"Nettie."

They went around the circle telling me their names and I glowed. To know that there was good her at Mullin's put me at rest.

"Brooklyn? Come on, give them the note and get out of there." Sam hissed. I looked down and passed Mina the note.

"You are doing the right thing." I said to her and she smiled. "Trust me. Mullin's is wrong and you are a brave, brave, brave women, Keep doing what you are doing. Good bye and I'll try and see if I can come over some other time." I said.

"Wait, Brooklyn, we need to write back to Abel." Kenny said.

"Ok, do that now. I have time." I said and Kenny passed Clarisse a pen. She was a teacher before the outbreak, she told me, and could write better then anyone.

"I don't think the guards suspect anything, but Major Ivory has tightened security so I don't know what to think. They have also decreased rations to keep us weaker." Mina dictated and Clarisse scribbled it down on the paper then she looked over.

"With your permission, Mina. I'd like to write a good report about Miss Brooklyn. She came here and boosted our moral and gave us this note at the risk of her own life. Brooklyn came back to a place of great trauma for her to help us and she did what we all want to do. Make a difference in someone's life and save a life. Her base deserves to know what a fine runner and a loyal citizen they have gained." Mina nodded at Clarisse.

"You don't need to ask my permission, Clarisse, this is a free circle. I'm not the leader, just a director. Write what you will." I hugged the older women and then Clarisse.

"A good review would mean the world to me." I whispered in Clarisse's ear when I hugged her. She smiled and started to write. Janine was going to be happy. Clarisse sealed it and passed it to me.

"You're a hero, Brooklyn." Clarisse said and closed my hand over the note.

"I'm no hero. I'm just doing the right thing." I said and she nodded.

"Keep in touch." She said and I nodded. Let me tell you, I could not have taken off faster. It was creepy to see everybody again and it was creepy to be here again. I expertly climbed the fence and started off towards the woods, without a trace.

"Good work, Five. That was smooth." Dr. Myers said. I didn't respond.

"Runner Five? Are you ok?" Sam asked. "I know that you told me you could do it, but with this and the rest period and the whole thing with Jake. I don't know."

"She's fine, Sam. Trust me. I wouldn't let her out if I didn't think she was."

"I know, but I just-"

"I have to go with Dr. Myers on this one, Sam. I'm fine." I said and reached the woods, stopped at a rock and sat down. Sam sighed.

"Well, ok, I just think with having to go to Mullin's again and-"

"Sam, stop it. I'll be ok." I said. He sighed again.

"What's going on today, doc?" He asked after a few minutes of no sound but my labored breathing and the cold wind whipping my face. "See I could have said 'what's up, doc?' Don't think I didn't consider it, but I like to mix up my material from time to time." He joked. I smiled; it was a typical Sam move. Shove all the problems away with a one liner and a couple of jokes.

"And I'm more grateful for that then I could possibly imagine." She laughed. Her laugh was annoying. "Can you head out to the left and head that way for a mile maybe. You should hit an area where med packs have been dropped. I want to start some research but I don't have enough equipment. Then to the old mill where we think there is food." She finished and I nodded, starting to go.

"Say, Brooklyn, has Mullin's changed any?" Sam asked.

"Not in the least bit, Sam. It's almost creepy, kind of like a doll house." I mused. Dr. Myers was quick to change the subject.

"Have we heard anything from New Canton since their attack on Runner Five?" She asked. It worked with Sam but not me. I could tell that she didn't want us talking about Mullin's, as it would lower my already in the pits mood.

"Heard anything?" Sam scoffed. "You mean they would actually communicate with us? Without using bullets? Not so much. My guess is that they tried to trap one of our runner, clearly failed, and now they are cooking up something else." He said. I could tell his disdain for the New Canton society and I wondered if it was just his town's hate or if he had a special reason for hating them.

"Well, that's what we get for not conforming and joining up." Dr. Myers said.

"Oh, please, you always conform." I snapped. They both ignored me.

"Hey wait, Five, you never herd the stories, did you?" Sam asked.

"What stories?" I asked, my curious side wanted to know more.

"At the start of the outbreak New Canton came around mopping up survivors. They came to us. A team of two guys and a girl. They told us that we should come with them to live-if we want to live-" Dr. Myers cut Sam off.

"That's not what they said, Sam." Dr. Myers corrected. "They told us that they had a good castle with food and sniper positions. They wanted us to join up with them."

"They wanted us to live with them so they could keep us their and enforce marshal law and make us live according to their dictates-" Sam started and I cut him off with a little smirk.

"If we want to live?" I said smugly.

"Damn right, Runner Five. About as damn right as it gets." Sam said and I sped my pace up. I picked up three med packs and shoved them in my bag. Sam directed me to an area not to far off where I found a axe and some food. I wondered who was dropping all of the supplies and then it hit me.

Mullin's was.

As much as I hated them they were the one's dropping food and med packs all over. They were the government and the official military. It didn't make sense anymore. It was no longer black and white.

"You seem to be doing ok and you got some good supplies, Runner Five. You can head back now." Dr. Myers said, with no comment on the note or Mullin's. I nodded.

"Will do, Sam and yes I say Sam not Dr. Myers." I hissed. "Because I take orders from people who-"

"You don't take orders from anyone. That's a flaw, believe me, Brooklyn it is."

"It got me out of mounds of trouble."

"And you know what? It probably got you IN even more trouble." She said. It was the truth and she was right, bit I'd never admit that. I was about to snap something sarcastic back when I herd a faint voice then it got louder.

"Help! Help me! I'm stuck! Help me! Please! Help!" I heard someone call. I looked around.

"Or maybe don't head home just yet?" Sam said nervously.

"It's coming from the old mill. Head over, Five. See what you can dig up." Dr. Myers said.

"Ok, Sam, will do, because I listen to Sam who treats me with respect and-" I was interrupted by Dr. Myers.

"Just go, Brooklyn."

"Dr. Myers, It's Brook-lyn. As in Brooke and then Lyn. Like the city in New York." I said. That was what she said, but she was pissing me off and I needed someone to argue with.

"That is what I said. That's what I've said for a month now."

"No, you said Brook-line. As in Brooke and then Line. Like the city in Boston." I quipped. She scoffed.

"Just go see what's going on, Brookline." She snapped.

"Brooklyn." I corrected, but took off towards the screaming. When I reached the old mill I could see a man on the top waving.

"That's strange. Do you see that, Sam?" Dr. Myers asked. "Most of the zombies seem to be wearing New Canton overalls." Dr. Myers mused. I looked closer. She was right.

"Can you believe they took time to make their own special overalls in the middle of the apocalypse?" He snapped. Dr. Myers laughed a little.

"I think they are just reused factory overalls with NC written on the back in marker pen." Sam laughed a nervous laugh.

"Oh, yah, that makes more sense to be honest." I smirked along with him but the man's cries brought me back to where I was.

"Ok, Runner Five, it looks like the man is a survivor of a failed New Canton supply expedition." Sam said.

"Help! If you make enough noise they'll chase you and then I can come down and we can run out together!" He called.

Let me tell you how quick I would have said no any other day. Let me tell you how quick I would have ran out of there and left that New Canton bastard to die but Sam's cries told me otherwise and let me tell you it was not because he felt bad for the man.

"Brooklyn, there is a pack of about fifty surrounding the mill and they've seen you. I'm so sorry. I know you've had a hard day, but you have no choice. Run." He said and I looked around. We were all people and this man needed help. I could have booked it out of there and back to Abel but I took a deep breath.

"Come on, you assholes! Come chase me!" I screamed and started to wave my hands in the air. The herd looked over at me and I started to run as fast as I could, not even looking back. I ran through the woods, not even knowing where I was going anymore. I was trailing a herd and my legs were aching and I swore when I reached a tree, blocking my path.

"Brooklyn, pull yourself over the tree." Sam demanded and I grabbed into the bar and just like Evan showed me pulled myself up, ignoring the pain arising from my shoulder and let myself drop on the other side. "Keep going, Five. This was not supposed to happen on your first mission out again." He said.

"It's ok, Sam. I can do it." I promised, not slowing down my pace and starting to breath again. This was better.

"Brooklyn, I can-" Sam started but I stopped him.

"Sam, don't talk right now! Just let my run." I said and he obliged. I took a deep breath and exhaled, like Evan told me to. I sped up fir about three minutes.

"Ok, Brooklyn, listen to me now." Sam said. I tuned him back in and concentrated on what he was saying. "You should be able to circle around and then back to the old mill." He said. "You got enough in you to do that?" I nodded, not really sure, but not going to convey any doubt to Sam or Dr. Myers.

"We'll need a answer, Miss Harker. Can you run faster and longer?" Dr. Myers asked.

"Yes. I can go for as long as you need me to." I said and ignored the sweat that was pouring off of my face. Training with Evan helped but I almost wished I had Sara come. It was getting harder to run.

"Good job, Five. You got this." Sam said. I smiled.

"Can we trust that New Canton runner to still be there when Five gets back?" Dr. Myers asked.

"I don't know but we don't really have a choice now do we?" I asked.

"No, and if he's not then, well, Runner Five is fast enough to get out of there." Sam said.

"I'll be fine!" I snapped, exasperated with everyone now. They all made me so angry sometimes. I'll tell you a secret; sometimes I wish I never left Mullin's. I know how that sounds, but at Abel I have no one who really understood me and nothing to call me own. Sure, I'm fast and all, but so are Evan and Sara and Maggie and Simon and Jordan and Alice. Alice was probably faster then them all when she was alive. At Mullin's I had a reputation but here I have nothing and no one that I can really trust. Sam has been nice and all, but he is grieving still and honestly, I don't know how much longer I can wait for someone. I herd sticks cracking and I turned around to see the man stumbling through the brush and sticks. He fell over and I took a deep breath.

"Ok, Runner Five, he's ok, now get out." Sam hissed.

"Shut up, Sam. I'm a big girl I can make my own decisions." I snapped back, curious about the runner.

I say curious, not trusting, just curious. I do not trust New Canton.

"In case you don't remember your 'own decisions' wound you up in the hospital for three weeks." He almost yelled.

"It was two. Ok? Two weeks, now snap out of it and let me do what I need to do! You're not a runner, so-"

"Five, you're a great runner, you really are but-"

"Sam, you say another word about this and I'll switch my transmitter and receiver off. Ok? Shut up and let me handle the relationships with other towns and the whole talking bit."

"Brooklyn, he's from New Canton! They tried to kill you!" Sam said, tired of having this conversation with me.

"He was not the one at the gun!" I yelled back.

"Brooklyn, come back to base, NOW!" Dr. Myers insisted.

"So you can dope me up with more pills? You'll be luck if-"

"Do I need to get Janine in here?" Dr. Myers asked. "Do you think she's going to be happy that you are directly defying authority?"

"What authority? You have no authority over me, evil women!" I said and Dr. Myers groaned. "And just so you know, I will never, and I repeat, NEVER, stay in that god damn hospital again, now I have something to deal with, goodbye!" I snapped at Dr. Myers.

The man looked amused until he fell over again. I flipped my microphone off and crouched down. I could hear Sam protesting with Dr. Myers about what to do. "Oh god, are you ok? You look hurt. Did you fall on your way down and-" I helped him up.

"I'm ok, I'm alright." He laughed cheerfully. "Don't worry about me but I will tell you I'm grateful to be alive. Thank you, Runner." He said. I smiled back.

No attitude until he tries something. I thought hesitantly and steadied him on his feet.

"I don't mind telling you. I'm glad to be alive. The name is Lem, or Runner Thirty Eight, from New Canton." He said and stuck out his hand. I took it.

Ok, freak, what did you do? Plant a explosive on your hand so that when I tough it my own hand blows up but you have a-

"Runner? Are you alright?" He asked and I realized that I was absently staring at his hand.

"Oh, yah, I'm fine. I just have-um- attention problems-ADD to be exact. That and paranoia and-" The man didn't seem to notice.

"It's fine, we all have shock nowadays. Say, what's your name?"

"Kelly from Scoobs Settlement." I lied. The man smirked.

"Get out of there, Brooklyn, I don't know this man and I want you back in one piece." I herd Sam say. I ignored him.

"Emily? Don't lie to me runner." He said. I wiped the smile off of my face.

"How did you know I was lying?" Special devices? Spies? Poison? Did he put a bomb on me? God knows what-

"Scoobs fell and I can hear you talking to the man and the women on the other end. Your name's not Kelly. They said Brooklyn." I blushed.

"Yah, sorry, that's my name. I just didn't know and all and-"

"Understandable. You're from Abel and I'm New Canton." The man said. I laughed. He sat down on a rock with my help. I brushed the December snow off of it. "I don't know what I would have done without you, Runner. I was stuck up there for three days. If you hadn't come along I don't know what I would have done. Three of my buddies have gone gray."

"I'm so sorry." I said and he brushed it off. I didn't know if he was upset and that bothered me. My headset started to blare. It was Sam. He seemed worried.

"Brooklyn Harker, turn the god damn headset on and get out of that god damn forest right now. Get home right now or I swear to god you're not going out for another month and we all know how much you-" I rolled my eyes and snapped the microphone on.

"Happy? It's back on." I snapped.

"Yes, very much so, now Brooklyn, if you don't get your ass home right now-" Sam started.

"We will make you stay in the hospital bed for the rest of the year." Dr. Myers cut in. I hated her more then ever. How dare she use that against me? My own fear.

"You make me do that and I'll cut your-"

"Brooklyn, come on, let's not threaten each other." Sam said.

"You two are so gaining up on me!" I cried out.

"That's not it at all! We both want what's best for-" I cut Sam of.

"Shut up, both of you." I snapped and rolled my eyes. Lem laughed and not soon after he picked his headset up.

"Yes, Nadia, it's a runner from Abel Township, no, no, not hostile, this runner here just saved my life. Ok, Nadia, I'll come back as soon as I can, just let me finish up here." He said. I smiled. "Them radio operators. They don't know what it's like out here in the field." He said. I pressed the microphone to my lips harder.

"You can say that again." I hissed into the microphone.

"I am just trying to help!" Sam snapped. "It is my job to keep you safe, Brooklyn."

"Hard job." I snapped back. "Maybe not worth doing either." Sam looked scoffed.

"Brooklyn, that is such a lie." Sam coughed. "I care about you and I want you to be safe, which is why you are LEAVING RIGHT NOW!" He hissed. I ignored him again.

"They're still on our trail." Lem said and he grabbed my wrist. I took off with Lem deeper into the woods. I didn't know if this was a good idea, but it was really my only choice.

"Speed up, Five, they're gaining on you. Come ON, Brooklyn, hurry!" Sam snapped and I pulled Lem a little faster until I had an idea.

"That ditch! We can lose the hoard for a little if we go down!" I said and before he could say anything I grabbed his wrist and threw him down with me. We tumbled down the hill and finally landed and stopped rolling. I pressed my down to the ground until we could no longer hear moaning.

"That's the third time I got pushed down a ditch." I muttered. "Sam? Can you still hear me?"

"We're right here, Brooklyn." Dr. Myers said.

"Is Sam there?" I asked coldly. She scoffed.

"I'm here, Five, are you ok?" He asked. I sat up and helped Lem up.

"I'm fine, Sam." I said and then took a deep breath leaning against the snow and dirt. Lem started to cough. I looked over at him.

"Are you ok?" I asked. He nodded.

"I'm fine, just a bit shaken up from when I tried to get down. One of those bastards almost got his teeth into my arm, but I don't think he broke the skin. " Lem said.

"You never say that..." Sam warned over headset. I took a deep breath.

"Oh, shoot. They broke the skin." Lem said. "That's not good." I looked around and he started to cough more violently.

"Get out of there, Five. Now!" Sam snapped. I didn't move. I felt horrible about leaving Lem but Sam had a point. His tone changed. "Come on, Brooklyn, I don't want to see you hurt. Get home to us soon, Brooklyn. Don't risk it. We need you." He begged. I looked around.

"I guess I should run as far away from you as I can." Lem said and I looked down, unwilling to leave and unwilling to stay at the same time. He picked the radio up and pressed a button.

"Nadia? Nadia, there is nothing you can do. I'm gone. Don't cry, honey. We had a good time. More then most people. You remember that night in the old barn? You remember me just like that, honey. I'm turning the headset off now, honey. I don't want you to hear me change." He said. I wiped a solitary tear out of my eyes then Lem flicked the headset and looked me in the eyes.

I felt bad for him. How would I feel if that was Sam or Janine or Ed or Sara? I'd already lost someone I knew, but that was different. I remembered when I was almost lost and gunned down. I remembered Sam talking to me and the desperation and helplessness in his voice. He could do nothing as I stumbled blindly through the dark. Nadia could do nothing as she listened to Lem, the love of her life, coughing and dying. She was helpless. Just like I was. Just like we all were. I felt horrible for hating New Canton now. They were just like Abel, people just trying to survive.

"Lem, we can run back to Abel and maybe Dr Myers can-" Sam's protests cut me off.

"Oh, no you don't, Brooklyn. Look, your whole 'golden girl' routine can wait for when there is someone worth saving. He's from New Canton!" I ignored Sam.

"You can't save him, Runner Five. I can't either." Dr. Myers said. I looked into Lem's eyes and I forgot he was from New Canton.

"We're no better then you are... Abel would have just left you. New Canton would have just left me. We're different though..." I trailed off. Lem was coughing again and I bit my lip. "I always thought you guys were such bastard, but the truth is that we're no better and if we fight amongst ourselves we are all going to die off." I spilled. Lem nodded. "It's not New Canton vs. Abel." I started.

"It's us vs. extinction." Lem finished through coughing and wheezing. I nodded.

"Listen to me, Runner." Lem said. "You tried to save me. That counts for something." He said. "I need to run as far away from you as I can now."

"Lem, we need to work together. All of us. You matter. That's history's entire lesion. Do you think Jefferson knew that he was going to write the declaration of independence? Do you think Washington knew he was going to lead the troops of Valley Forge? Do you think that Adams knew he was going to start the first step to America's independence? No, they didn't but they were just people. Like you and me, now you matter, let me help you." I whispered.

I don't know why, but for the first time I found myself believing the words I spoke with all my heart. Not only had this man survived as a New Canton citizen bit he survived as a human. Their was to much of I distinction there. Lem needed to live because if he did he might be able to help me join New Canton to Abel. He was the only one who thought like I did, now. Without him we would stay at war. I was only one person. I couldn't do anything, but two, one from each side, well, we could change it and then us humans could find a cure and a vaccine and then we could bring Jake and Aidan back and take down Mullin's and then-

"Brooklyn, please, I can't lose another runner, get out of there now. He'll change and eat you or gun you down or-"

"Sam, stop. He will not. We're all humans. New Canton or Abel? It doesn't matter, screw it all." I snapped back.

"Brooklyn-"

"How would you feel if that was me? Would you want " I said more gently. He didn't respond. "Come on, Sam, how did you feel when you though I was dead and you stayed up all night talking to me. Well, let me tell you, he has a girlfriend on his line. Stay on with me, Sam. Don't say anything else, though." I whispered.

"Runner, your life is worth more then mine right now. You're young and pretty and you probably have a family and-"

"They're dead, Lem. Everyone I ever love has died. Come back with me to Abel and we can make history. Humanity can't afford another life wasted on-"

"Runner Five, listen to me right now and if you don't remember anything else from this meeting remember this. We don't matter. You're wrong. The only thing that matters is keeping the race going so that we as a species don't die out. Come on, Runner. What's more-" I cut him off.

"Is that what they teach you at New Canton, Lem? To dehumanize everyone and look at the bigger pictures?" I asked. "We matter and you can make it back to Abel."

"Do you think they'll let me in?" He asked. "Your friend didn't seem to like me that much." I looked down. He was right. They wouldn't let him in and he knew it. He was a smart man.

"Lem-" He took my hand and put his headset in it.

"Come on now, Runner Five. Humanity can't afford a wasted tech. Go give this to your friend back at comms. Listen to me, Runner Five; you tried to save my life. That must count for something somewhere, if not here. I 'm going to run that was as far as I can and get them away from you then you can get home to that radio operator." I smiled and looked down. "You like him?" Lem asked. I looked down.

Yes, not sure if he liked me and there was still Jake, dead or not, but yes, I liked Sam Yao.

Maybe possibly like that, but most likely as a friend.

Ok, I can't even lie to myself, a whole lot more then I was willing to say on record and to someone I didn't know.

"He was sure concerned about you. Live like you're going to die tomorrow, Runner. That's what I told Nadia and it's what I'm telling you. I don't know you, Runner, but never give up hope. The world can't afford a runner like you loosing hope." He said and started up the hill.

"Thank you, Lem." He smiled at me.

"I only say the truth, Runner Five." He said and then winked at me. I admired his bravery. He wasn't scared at all. Of death or anything.

"Goodbye, Kelly from Scoobs. Do something with your life and don't forget me!" He yelled as he ran up the hill screaming at the zombies. I collapsed to the ground that was a lot to think about.

"Was that Ace Rimer?" Sam asked.

Part of me wanted to crack up and relive some stress and part of me wanted to start yelling at Sam about respect.

"Have some respect, Sam. He's dead." Dr. Myers said.

"Who Ace Rimer or Lem?" I asked.

"Both." Dr. Myers responded. I rolled my blue eyes.

"I wasn't asking you." I snapped back with as much attitude possible. I needed someone to be rude to now and a doctor had to take it without anything back.

"So I guess the attitude means your not showing up for your therapy session?" Dr. Myers said. "Because I do have other things to do." I smirked.

"No, I'll talk with you."

"Are you going to snap at me like this?" She asked.

Probably, unless you quite being such a shrink.

"No." I said. Beating up on her was fun, because she sat there and took it. "I'll be good."

"Ace Rimer was good. He was a fast runner and-" Sam said again.

"Sam.." Dr. Myers warned.

"Sorry-um-wait-yah-sorry-er-just sorry. Wow, what a guy." he amended. I smiled at that one, I'll admit. "But he's bought you a bit of time there, Five, but keep running. Still about five miles from home." He said and I started up the hill.

When the apocalypse was over I was moving to New York City so I didn't have the chance of ever getting pushed down a ditch again.

"Sam, can I walk back?" I asked. Evan and I had some work to do. I was aching all over and my head was spinning.

"Sooner you can get home the better, but if you need to." He told me. I nodded and slowed my pace down to a brisk walk.

The entire way home I thought about Lem and what evil was. Was New Canton evil? Was Abel? Was Mullin's? Was I? Or were we all just humans, desperate for a way out of the mess that we were in. I hit the gates of Abel and Sam let me in. He greeted me with a hug.

"You're a batter person then I would have been, Brooklyn." He scoffed. I smiled a bit. "Dr. Myers is in her office." He said putting air quotes around office. "I moved the books to our barrack. We can read tonight. Janine would be pissed." He said and I smiled.

"We can keep her up the entire night." I said. He smiled. I passed Sam the note from Clarisse at Mullin's and told him to give it to Janine.

"This is the reason that we always had a extra bunk. Janine and I don't stop fighting." He said. I smiled. That was true. "Dr. Myers is waiting for you." He said and then grabbed my wrist. "Brooklyn, serious, no attitude, she's in a bad mood and I don't need it worse." He said. I winked, quickly amending my plan or spending a half hour being a bitch. I walked over to the hospital and over to Dr. Myers. She smiled.

"You know, Brooklyn, I'm glad that you and I have started to talk-or yell-but still, facing your fears is good." She said.

"And the first step to immunity." I winked.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"If I face my fears and traumas, then I no longer get scared and I am invincible and untouchable." I gloated. She took her notepad and jotted that down. I craned my neck.

"What are you writing?" I asked.

"This is my 'Brooklyn' notepad. I had Jody pick it up for me. I'm glad your seeking help, whether or not you like me, you know that I am qualified to help you and I am happy to try." I scoffed.

"I'm sorry to say it, but I hate you. I can't stand you." I confessed. She nodded and wrote that down.

"Brooklyn, can I ask a question?" She mused. I nodded. She was going to anyway. "Brooklyn, do you hate me or do you hate doctors?"

"Both."

"Have you ever liked me? Did I do something to offend you?"

"No, I just don't like you." I said truthfully.

"Miss Harker. Can I ask you another question?" She asked. I nodded. "A strict base like Mullin's must have had a monthly exam to make sure that the people were still in shape. Did you take one?' She asked. I bit my lip. "Brooklyn, come on, I have plans to send you on a special mission for the hospital soon. You are my runner of choice." I looked up. "You got me the CDC, Brooklyn. You are the one who deserves to know what's going on and I think that you could help immensely, but I can't let you go if you don't be honest with me and let me help you through these fears." I sighed.

"Why? Why can't you just let me go on a mission?" I said.

"Because you will be running through hospitals and I don't know your triggers. I need you to be able to calm down and relax in a hospital and I need you to be able to work with me, as I will be a controller with Sam." I sighed.

"No, I would always run away the day of check ups. Jake only died four weeks ago. Two weeks as of when I came here to Abel. He told me about what they did to people who rebel but also told me that we were doing it for the greater good. I beloved him. I don't know if he was right, but I was blinded by love or I just needed someone to follow at the time. Then when he died and they started doing shock therapy on me and they pretty much treated me like a lab rat. I hated it there, Dr. Myers." I said and before I could stop myself and turn my filter on I blurted out the whole story, like I was in a real therapy session, but it wasn't the same as when I told it to Sara or Ed. It was a job and it was mechanical now. I had to talk and she had to listen and help. I told her about Jake and Aidan and my parents and Mullin's and Dr. Hills and the shock therapy and the pills and my failed/cover-up suicide attempt. She wrote on the pad just about as vigorously as I talked, which was pretty damn vigorously.

"So, Miss Harker, I hate to agree with someone who caused you such pain and whose ways I, myself, disagree with but I have a strong feeling that you are suffering from a mild to severe case of paranoia. I t would explain the longing to form a intimate relationship and the sleep deprivation." My mouth dropped open.

Forget anymore of these sessions.

"Miss Harker, listen to me, please." She said. "I think you need to be more trusting of others. You have no sense of commitment and I think that this is due to-" I stood up.

So much for no yelling.

"No sense of commitment?" I hissed. "Are you kidding me? Say this is a joke! I could be in a relationship now and the sole reason that I'm not is because I have this!" I snapped holding up my ring finger, which still held Jake's ring. "I have stayed committed to my boyfriend, Jake, before the outbreak in high school when we were barely able to see each other, during the stay at Mullin's when it was at a risk to my own life, after he was turned and died for me, and even now, after I had to kill him with a stick. I never plan on another committed relationship again, Dr. Myers, and don't even get me started on what I have given up for this town." I yelled and stormed out of the hospital, only stopping to tip a chair over in a show of my rage. I stormed over to my barracks and sat down. No sooner had I then the door burst open. Sara came running in, frantic looking and relived at the same time. I looked up and threw my arms around her.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." I said and she smiled.

"Brooklyn, you have no idea how worried I was. The entire day I bit my nails and paced the floor. Oh god, honey, I was so scared." She said and I nodded.

"Me to, believe me, me to." I said.

"What happened? Are you alright?" She asked. "How did everything go?" Sara asked and sat down next to me. I like that someone cared, but I still didn't know why Sara did.

"Well, I talked to the people at Mullin's and-"

"Was it hard, honey?" Sara asked. I looked at her.

"Was what hard, Sara?"

"Going back." She asked. I nodded. "A lot harder then I would want to tell anyone." I muttered. She nodded.

"I'm here, Brooklyn. You can talk to me." She said. I thanked her and stood up. I didn't need sap after my yelling with Dr. Myers.

I mean I am sorry, but she got me so fired up. I have more commitment then anyone I know. I committed to my cause at Mullin's and Jake and Abel. I mean even in high school, when I was barley allowed to see Jake I never even so much as kissed another boy. The door opened. Sam followed Janine in.

"I'm just saying, Janine, this whole civil improvements committee is, ok, let me just say this without offending you, bullshit." He said. I smiled and looked down. Mullin's rebellion or not, everything was still going to same at Abel.

"Then it's fair to say that the only reason you hate the idea is because you didn't think of it and it's a hour out of your day to listen to other people talk." She snapped back.

"It's also fair to say that no one is going to join your stupid committee, Janine. It's a dumb idea." He said.

"Well, Mr. Yao, as you know, people have been having new ideas now that we have more people and a stable food income and a stable ammo income. We need a committee to oversee the future of Abel." I looked around. Janine turned to me and gave me a stiff glance. "Miss Harker." I stood up and looked Janine in her eyes. "Sensational work today. Really stupendous. You showed persistence, strength, bravery, and commitment, all for this town. You did amazing in Mullin's. I read the note and you motivated those people to be good and think for them, even before you came here. You did sensational with them and you picked up some valuable medicines, food, and I think you even got some technology. Your compassion with the New Canton runner was amazing, as we are all people and he was dying. You did stupendous work today, Brooklyn." She said. I beamed with pride. Janine was proud. She forgave me.

"Thank you, Ms. De Luca." She rolled her eyes.

"Janine." She corrected. "Just because you are clearly trying to regain my approval and trust does not mean you need to start calling me official titles." I smiled.

"Janine." I said. "I love the idea of a committee. I'll join." She shook her head.

"You're not what we're looking for Miss Harker, but generous offer. Now, tomorrow I need another message to Mullin's. Can you do it?" I nodded.

"Totally." I said.

"You can have extra ten minutes on rofflenet and hot water for a shower." She said and sat down on her bed. "Thank you for your sensational work here, Miss Harker. I know how hard it is for you to go back to Mullin's but you are making history." She said, I thanked her and lay down, still think about Lem. Was New Canton really evil? Was Mullin's even truly evil? I didn't know anymore. It was all so confusing and right now the only thing that was going to make it clear me was a cold ice glace of scotch and being not sober and maybe a pill to stop the headache. I quickly stopped myself. No pills. They are bad. Horrible pills. Screw those god damn things.

Sam lay down and Sara looked at my face a little harder. I could tell she was trying to figure me out. I hated to say it but I was REALLY starting to trust and like her.

"You should probably get some rest, Hun." She said and I nodded, sitting down, but not falling asleep. I was thinking about Lem's advice. I looked over.

"Sam!" I hissed. He looked up. "Come here and read with me. I want to start Fahrenheit 451." Sam smiled and walked over, sitting down next to me. He picked up the book.

"Live like you'll die tomorrow, Sam and never forget me. No matter what happens when I go on a run, because you never know if it'll be my last." I said. Sam closed the book.

"No, Brooklyn-"

"Sam, I could fall and sprain something in front of a zombie horde. I could fall sick or I could get shot. I could die, Sam! You need to listen though, whatever happens you need to swear to me to live with no regrets." He nodded.

"I promise." He said and I nodded.

"Good." I said, lying down.

"For the record, Brooklyn, I don't regret a single thing right now." He said. I took a deep breath and lay back. "I don't regret helping you and I don't regret letting you into Abel. I mean, Brooklyn, you are such a help around here that I can't lose you to New Canton-" I cut him off. He needed to see this the way Lem and I did and I could care less how long this took.

"Sam? How did you feel when I was almost dead on that mission?" I asked. He laughed.

"You're just fishing for a complement." He said. I smiled.

"No, I really want to know." I said and he started to talk in a overly dramatic tone.

"Like my heart stopped. I could never think of life with-" I stopped him.

"You're full of BS. Shut up, Sam." I whispered and he smiled. I relaxed down and he laughed.

"Brooklyn?" Sam said. I looked up. "For the record it was the most helpless I'd ever felt since I lost Alice. You are so much like her and I couldn't lose another runner. Helpless, and hurt, and hopeful at the same time. I also felt betrayed, almost like you were leaving us for a better place." I looked up at the ceiling and then down at Sam, who was sitting next to me.

"For the record, Sam. I feel the same way. It was hard to listen to you and not be able to talk back. I felt helpless, as well. It was the hardest thing I ever had to listen to, Sam." I said and to be honest, this worked better then therapy, because for Sam Yao, it wasn't a job. Sam cared about me and how I felt.

Dr. Myers was insensitive and a bitch. My opinion of Sara and Janine changed since when I met them, but my opinion of Dr. Myers was never going to change. I would always hate her.

"Brooklyn, Dr. Myers told me what happened today." Sam said. I looked up again. "She's sorry she offended you, but tell me, Brooklyn. Do you hate her or do you hate the fact that she's a doctor?" Sam asked and that caught my attention

Forget pondering the meaning life and evil and the perfect society.

Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing

I had myself a new question of the night. Probably a new question of the day and night tomorrow and that's what I started thinking about tonight.

The entire night.

I was going to be damn cranky when I went to Mullin's tomorrow.

Conclusion of the day: if you're going to think deep about books and about evil and other intense topic don't do it right before bed, especially if you have a suspected case of paranoia and insomnia.


	19. Just Getting Started

December 15th 2014

I stayed up the entire night and this time I meant to. I had a lot of thoughts of mull over and I couldn't do that anywhere else. I thought about Sam and Sara and hospitals and before and Mullin's and Jake and Dr. Hills. Mostly I thought of Dr. Hills. It was strange to think about but I thought about her most and not even how much I hated her, though that was a thought of mine. No, I was more thinking about her before and after the outbreak and how she had changed.

I didn't know Regan Hills before the gray bang (what we called it down at Abel) but I did know her after and if you couldn't already tell, I hated her. She took Jake away from me. Her and that damn Major Ivory. My thoughts shifted to Jake.

You have no idea how much I missed him. I missed his arms around me and I missed talking to him and I missed kissing him in barracks at night and I missed reading with him and I wanted him back more then anything.

He was the whole reason I even bothered to read that goddamn book. He was the one who gave it to me first and he was the one who told me it was like Mullin's.

"Beautiful creature, what is the ignorance that harms you?" He would always say whenever I acted like I was really from Mullin's by following orders and using my number. I never understood what it meant but now I think I have an idea.

"I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you." I whispered the whole night and held my ring. It was the only thing that I had left of him.

"You need to let go." Dr. Hills always told me. "He's gone but he wouldn't want you to be like this. He would want you to obey the base. Please, let us help you." She always said. Again, my thoughts shifted back to the doctor. She must have been a good doctor before the plague. She wasn't always evil. Major Ivory was, he was just looking for an opening to take over the world, but not Dr. Hills. She was greedy with power now, but I bet she was good at her job before the bang. She just had that look in her eyes sometimes, like she knew what she was doing was wrong but she did it anyways.

That thought made me hate her even more.

It made me glad that Dr. Myers was on our side, but not glad enough to play nice. Glad enough not to give her a Brave New World analogy, though. I think that there was two characters that I liked in that entire book and one of them ended up dead. Everyone else got a name though.

It was just easier to categorize people by books characters. I knew whom I liked and whom I didn't like and I knew why I liked them and everything was in a little ball. Instead of gray, it was all black and white.

You know who Major Ivory was? Mustapha Mond from Brave New World. He censored everything and made it into some kind of good news. He gave up his feelings for a job, pretty much, but then again, most of us gave up feelings at the start of the outbreak and not to mention, besides Lenina he was me least favorite character.

So, Major Ivory is the shallow and jerky controller of the world state. It both figures and works at the same time.

Sam was probably Bernard because he had different ideas and didn't quiet fit in at his engineering school, but that was a makeshift reason. The real reason was that and he was so committed to Alice, like Bernard was to Lenina and he just wanted her and I kind of wished I was that good at only having on person, dead or not. I was starting to have feelings for others to put it to a tee and I hated that about myself. Also, he was human. He acted human. Bernard wanted what he couldn't have, he had feelings and he loved and lusted. He thought about what the difference was. Sam thought too. Sam thought in a way that was different from everyone at Abel and I couldn't put a finger on it yet, but reader, I'll tell you when I do.

Janine could be (some first name I can't pronounce) Watson because she argued with Major Ivory and she had real reasons to do so. Watson challenged the state and Janine challenged authority. She didn't just spout off things like Bernard did. Good for her.

It scored her points in my book that she fought with the major.

Rightfully so.

So after much thought I decided that I was Lenina Crowne. Unfortunately Lenina is the biggest slut in the entire book and my least favorite character, but still, if we were looking at her, it made most sense that I was her because of a lot of different reasons. Well, first things first, reader, If you, my dear reader and whoever is reading this, is not familiar with Lenina Crowne from Brave New World, let me tell you a bit about her and then you'll see why I was up all night thinking about her and it was not just because of the reason I listed above. It's actually quiet insightful.

Brave New World is this really intense book about the future and Lenina is a total slut, but trust me, that am ok in the book. She can sleep with like four guys at a time and that's just the way the world in the book is. She didn't' start out a whore though, but that's a different story.

Lenina is a member of the Beta group and she has been brainwashed by the state, but when she meets John she starts to question the state and all. Jake was John. See why I'm like her yet?

Well, I was up all night thinking about stupid Brave New World and the stupid, stupid ending and then back to me and Lenina Crowne in Brave New World. Pretty much the whole thing in the books is that because getting it on with someone isn't so intimate anymore. In Brave New World does it with everything and no one cares about it anymore. It's like saying hello.

So, Lenina sleeps with so many guys until she meets John, whom she thinks that she loves but he wants her to only be his and she can't do that so to make a long story short, things didn't work out between them and John dies.

Also, Lenina is like a junkie. She's totally addicted to this crap that the State gives them called Soma. It makes everyone hallucinate and think that they're happy. That's pretty much my life right now. A hallucination and an illusion

Well, I kind of feel like that's the case with my world now. No, not the sex part, but the death part. I see death so much that it's no longer a big thing. We don't have funerals, just mass graves and cemeteries. Sure we cry and cry for our dead loved one but death no longer effects us the way it did before and that kind of made me feel like Lenina. That and I felt like a total slut because of reasons that I will not write, but I will hint at.

I did not sleep with anyone. I just have a few feelings that won't go away for someone that I don't want them to be there for.

"Runner Five? Are you ready?" Sam asked. I was standing by the gates, ready to deliver another message to Mullin's. I guess I had zoned out for a while.

"What? Yah, Sam, good to go." I said and he sighed as I adjusted the backpack filled with supplies for the resistance. That's what I'd started to call them because it made it sound like a Terminator movie.

"Brooklyn, are you sure?" He asked. Janine interjected with her usual 'good for the town' speech and told me that if I needed to stay I should, bit I was not going to let Mina and her crew down.

"Right now it is Runner Five, and yes I am sure." I said back and started off at a swift run, just to prove my point. Today Sam and Janine were my controllers, just Sam and I could not have been happier. It took me less time to get to Mullin's today. I was faster and more efficient.

"Good work, Five. You're making good pace. Are you tired or scared?" Janine asked. Surprisingly no, the running and air had woken me up and I was more then happy to be out for a second time. Today running took my mind off of everything on my mind. The pain in my legs was inviting and I was happy to have my head hurt. It made me forget about my deep and disturbing thoughts.

"I'm not tired or scared, Janine." I said and she scoffed.

"I herd you up pacing at three in the morning, Brooklyn. You got up to eat and get dressed then took a cold shower at four in the morning." She said. I looked around. Janine was pissing me off.

"I'm sorry, is what I do suddenly your business?" I snapped. I could almost hear her rolling her eyes. It was ok though. Even Janine could not destroy my streak today. I made it to Mullin's within the half hour. I found the fence and this time I brought gloves.

No cuts on my hands. I thought as I artfully let myself drop down to the ground and I started over to my barracks, being all quiet again, like before. I knocked on the door. Mina opened it and I walked in. She shut the door behind me. I looked around. Same people as last time.

"Ok, Runner Five don't stay and chat. As you know, this is a speed mission." Janine said. I ignored her and sat down, passing Clarisse the note. She took it and thanked me.

"So what's new?" I asked. Mina sighed.

"I think the Major suspects something." She said. My eyes bulged. It took guts to keep this up when they suspected something. I smiled my best and brightest smile.

"You are all much braver then me." I said. I could see Kenny starting to protest but I cut him off. "Listen to me, I might have started something with Jake, but I was a joke and a folk hero. No one listened to me. You guys are the real deal." I said. Pearl laughed.

"You were my inspiration." She said. I shook my head.

"Jake was your inspiration. I was just a follower to him." I said and unpacked the bag, taking out a bottle of liquor that Evan picked up and some food. Mina smiled at me.

"I remember the first time I talked to you." She said. I nodded.

"Me too. You were so different." I said and took glasses out, pouring the liquid, until everyone had a glass. It felt amazing and I almost forgot that I was at Mullin's. I was making history. This was going to be what people talked about in a million years. I raised my glass. "To resistance and knowledge and survival and to Mullin's, for making us who we are, but not in the way that they think or want." I said and everyone clinked my glass.

And to Jake. This is what he would have wanted. I said mentally and took a sip. Always to him. Everything I will ever do and everything that I have ever done.

I love you. I thought and took another sip of the liquor. Mina put her glass down.

"Oh god, I almost forgot. Here." She said and passed me a box of sleeping pills. "No one takes them anymore and we thought that Abel might need some medication." I smiled.

"Thank you, that's great." I said picking up the box. Dr. Myers would be happy. I took the box and placed it in my bag.

"Some people get so hooked on these things." Fred said. I bit my lip.

"I don't see why." Clarisse responded. "Its east to swear off with a little willpower."

"It's a escape." I murmured.

"Come again, Brooklyn?" Mina asked. I looked up.

"People get hooked because dreams are the only safe place here at Mullin's and once those dreams get taken away and you can't sleep or they are ridden with nightmares, people need a escape. That's why they give us pills, to enforce more power, and that's why people get hooked so easy." I finished. Then I remembered Lenina. She always seemed to haunt my thoughts now. "And it's easier to lie to yourself. They're giving you Soma and people get hooked like Lenina and Brave New World." Everyone looked confused and I laughed.

"What's Brave New World?" Pearl asked. I laughed again.

"I forgot! You never read it. It's sensational. I'll bring it over for you." I said and Mina smiled.

"Very insightful, Ninety Three. So does this make you John The Savage? With your new ideas and suicidal tendencies?" I herd a voice say. I whipped around and the door slammed open to reveal Major Ivory, three soldiers, Dr. Hills, and Captian Freedman.

All officials and all here.

Shit.

"Brooklyn? What's going on over there?" Janine asked. I was paralyzed with fear. What do I do? Major Ivory took a step into the barracks. I stood up. I was not Ninety-Three. It was just like old times.

Only I was in deeper shit now.

"No, I'm not John the Savage. I'm Lenina." I muttered under my breath then louder I added; "And I'd be interested to hear your insights on the book, Major since you know you're into the whole mind control and dictatorship thing. Not to mention that drug that you give people here. Damn thing."

"Is that why your late boyfriend would take over five pills a night or was he just a good for nothing scum who had a bad case of an addiction?" Major Ivory asked. I backed up. I wanted to be strong for the people in the resistance bit I couldn't.

"You better not touch me." I snapped.

"Oh my god, Runner Five, get out of there now and I'm not even just saying that like yesterday. I mean really run, Brooklyn." Sam said. I ignored him. "Brooklyn, they will capture you and kill you."

"No, Jake took the pills because he couldn't stand you every night, you imperious son of a bitch." I snapped. Dr. Hills stepped next to Major Ivory. We were screwed. We were all done for. They all had guns.

"Brooklyn, listen you are not on my scanner, but I know about-"

"Shut up, Sam." I hissed. He did. I took a step forward at Major Ivory and Dr. Hills. I had an idea. I pushed the people back. "So, lost control, of the base, Major?" I asked. He kept his cold smile. I winked back.

"I did not lose control, Ninety Three, I merely have a bad part of the apple to needs to be cut out." He said. I scoffed.

"Stupid expression." I hissed. 'So tell me, Major, when you lost control of Jake and me, did you provoke the zombie attack on the base?" I asked. Major Ivory laughed.

"My dear, you are a smart one! When Jake started to rebel and I caused that attack I knew you would run. When I caught you two and locked you up it was to easy to fall into plan." I turned back to the people.

"Any doubt that you had the Mullin's is made up of psychopaths? Erase it." I said and walked right up to Dr. Hills. Major Ivory pulled his gun on me.

"I'll shoot you, Ninety Three. Don't think I won't do it." He warned me.

"Why don't you just give me the gun and let me do it to myself? Then that faulty death registry might have a little more merit." I hissed.

"I won't try to help you this time, Ninety Three. I'll let them kill you." Dr. Hills said.

"Is that what you called screwing with my head?" I asked. She smiled at me. I raised my arm and slapped her. She fell backwards and Major Ivory screamed.

"OPEN FIRE!" I slammed my hand into the nearest person, Clarisse, throwing her out the door she looked back but it was to chaotic to do anything I motioned for her to run and she stood motionless. I looked around at the people of the resistance. I wanted to help everyone else, but I was scared. They would have killed me. They would have shocked me up and gave me pills and-

Before I could think anything else through I ran. I ran through the door as fast as I could without looking back to see if I could help anyone else. I grabbed Clarisse's wrist and we ran to the side barrack.

"Listen to me, we have to split up. Get to Abel Township and tell them that you're with Brooklyn Harker, Runner Five. They'll let you in and if they don't then ask for Sam Yao and if that doesn't work then hole up somewhere nearby until I can get back and I'll get you in." I said and she nodded, scared and took off. I kissed the ring that Jake gave me. He was a hero. He saved me and he saved everyone, either they knew it or not. He was the only one in the world that I could ever love.

I wasn't a hero. No matter what they said. I as good as killed those people. It was my fault they were dead, but in all honesty, right now I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of Mullin's and get home to Abel. I stopped outside of the barracks and looked back over the fence. In my moment of daze Major Ivory grabbed me, pulling me closer to him in a position where I couldn't move.

"Don't even try to move, Ninety Three!" He hissed into my ear. For the first time ever here, I followed orders. I could see the guards shooting and I kicked, trying to get free but he had me tight. "Finish the weak off. I'll take care of Ninety Three." He said and grabbed my hands, pulling me towards the hospitals. Dr. Hills followed. I had a quick moment to shut off headset. I could not have Sam and Janine in any kind of danger. I didn't know what they could do to Abel but I didn't want to risk anything.

Realization didn't strike me yet, but I knew that they were all dead. I could only pray for Clarisse. I prayed that she made it somewhere safe. I didn't really realize where they were brining me until we got to the door. I kicked and screamed. Trying to make as much noise as I could, but Dr. Hills threw me into a room and Major Ivory sat down next to me, holding my hands in his strong grip. I wanted to cry. They were going to kill me. Jesus, it was really over.

"If your brains didn't get fried in that crash and you had or have any left you would be best to stop fighting me, my dear." He said and Dr. Hills picked up a bottle or pills. I screamed and Major Ivory removed one hand from my wrists and placed it over my mouth. I could feel myself crying harder.

"Listen to me, Ninety Three, you need to answer our questions as I assume that you have made friends in Abel." I gasped. Major Ivory took his hand off of my mouth.

"I won't tell you anything about Abel." I snapped.

"What-" Major Ivory started to ask but I screamed.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I yelled and Dr. Hills sat down next to me. She walked over to a file cabinet and pulled out some papers.

"Do you remember these, Ninety Three?" She asked. "You singed these when you volunteered for the mission. You have a duty to your base and you broke the contract. I mean, come on now, Ninety-Three. What happened to helping your parents? They were such good comrades. Do you want to disgrace them? The night they died you were-"

"I singed my name to the god damn devils so just leave me alone!" I yelled and cried harder.

"You have one more chance to tell me about Abel and then I'll walk out with Major Ivory and we'll go get the electrifiers and the conductor gel." Dr. Hills said and right then I realized the different between Dr. Myers. She would never hurt someone like this on purpose. I might not like her, but she was right. This is why I hated doctors.

"I'll tell you something." I said. Dr. Hills raised an eyebrow. "Lean closer." I hissed. She did. I spit in her face. "Abel is more human they Mullin's will ever be, you god damn bitch." I spit and she slapped me.

"Get her in the chair. We'll go get the gel and finish what we started." Dr. Hills said with disgust and Major Ivory dragged me into an all white room and strapped me down to a chair. I could almost feel jolts running through my body. I hated it here and I screamed. Dr. Hills and Major Ivory left the room and I knew I was going to die when that door closed. I pressed my jaw to the side of my chair and turned my headset back on.

"Sam!" I cried out.

"Oh, Jesus, Brooklyn I was so scared, are you almost here? What happened?" He asked.

"Sam, I only has a few minutes. Is Janine there?" I asked.

"No, she went to alert Evan and he's coming to scout the route to Mullin's." I took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Brooklyn. I can't send him in there to get you. He can only scan the route." My stomach started to hurl.

"Sam, tell them to call it off. I'm here, strapped to a chair and I'm going to die in a few minutes. You need to listen to me now." I said.

"Brooklyn-"

"Shut up and listen." I snapped. "Tell Sara that I she was so nice to me and that her two boys were luck to have her. Tell Ed that Molly is luck to have him and that he is-"

"Brooklyn, come on, we can get you out of there." Sam said.

"No, you can't." I snapped. "Tell Dr. Myers she was sweet to listen and make up something else nice to say to her. Tell Janine that I appreciate her letting me in and tell Evan that I wanted to thank him for when he helped with my training, and tell all the kids that they gave me the time of my life, especially Molly and Suzy and Darry, and just so you know this does not mean I like all these people, Evan and Dr. Myers, not saying that I really don't like them, but they're my example." I said all in one breath and then I realized I was missing something very important.

"Brooklyn, listen, hang in there, you are not dead." He said.

"Sam it happens all the time to runners. Don't stress over me. No one is going to miss me. I have no one's heart left to break. Just promise me you won't be scared and cry."

"Brooklyn, I- you know that-Come on, I can't do that!" He exclaimed. I coughed a little.

"Sam, thank you for everything. You have been so sweet. Every time I needed help you have always been here for me and, Sam, I'm trying to shove one million words into the three minutes and that's hard but I'm going to try, but if I can't then just think about what I would have said and I can promise that you'll know what I would have said. Sam, but I have three seconds left and then I'm shutting it off so they won't know about you. Sam, you blow me away and it might not mean anything coming from me, but I'm proud of you." I said and took a breath determined to finish my statement. "Sam, you stayed on with me when you thought I was dead and you read to me and sat with me and listened to me and I never said thank you for any of it. So I'm sorry for that. "

"Runner Five-"

"Brooklyn, my name is Brooklyn and if you do ever recover my body, I don't want it dumped in a dump and I don't want it burned. You don't have to bury it, but please don't turn into Mullin's." I said and Sam sighed.

"Brooklyn, I'll-"

"And I don't hate Lenina anymore Sam. She was just doing what she thought was right. It's not her fault that they brainwashed her and it's not her fault that John was angry with her. Can you tell Janine thanks for helping me understand the book? It means a lot."

"Of course. I will." He said.

"And thank you for reading it to me, Sam. I loved every single minute of my time with you. I'll miss you." I said and then gasped.

"Brooklyn, what's-"

"They're coming back!" I cried. "Sam, thank you for being such a good friend. You're one of the only reasons that I made it through the day. Don't forget me!" I begged and slammed my head against the chair again, cutting of signal. The door burst open. It was a boy. He looked about my age.

"Major Ivory, we have a slight emergency-" He started but stopped when he saw me. I took a deep breath. Maybe not all hope was lost.

"Please let me out!" I begged. "Please, let me out, I'm so scared." I begged. The boy stood frozen. If he was a new private he might still have sympathy. He was brainwashed, but that didn't mean that he might not have sympathy for a pretty girl his age.

Lying was going to get me out of here, assuming I could do it.

"Captian-" He started but I cut him off with my real (not lying) frantic pleas.

"No!" I begged and then I had an idea. It was stupid ad probably not going to work on an uptight soldier but still. It was worth a shot.

"Please. I have a family where I'm from." I begged. It was a half-truth. "I have a husband and a baby and a mother and a father and-" He walked over. I knew time was almost out and they were not going to grant me their twisted version of mercy this time. I was going to die if they came back in here with the gel and electrocutes.

"What's your name?" He asked. I looked around. I didn't know what to say. Risk the truth or risk a lie. Could I lie for my life? If I said Brooklyn it was a gamble. He might know the name or he might only know Ninety-Three.

No, I couldn't risk it. The truth would kill me. I opened my mouth to say that my name was Kelly and I was from Reds. I think the name came most naturally to me because when I was seven we had a babysitter named Karen. She wanted to be an actress when she grew up and told me that Kelly was going to be her stage name. She would bring me to different places and when people asked her name she would say Kelly. Maybe it was that or maybe it was just the memory of something that happened before that I liked and made the usually brutal task of lying easier. I stuttered to get the words out and just say it but they didn't come out.

How did it come so easy to Major Ivory and Dr. Myers and Dr. Hills? How could they lie so well? I had done it with Lem.

I mean come on, what is so hard? Kelly from Reds. Just say it. I was almost there when something else came out instead and it was probably a mistake.

It was also no time to be a smartass. If I could get out I needed to do so and not solicit a reaction and be a jerk. What I said could have gotten me killed. What's worse, I don't even know why I said it. I just did. I blurted it out and regretted it.

"Where is your base, Comrade?" He asked again.

"Lenina Crowne from Reds Settlement." I said quickly. Then I bit my lip, as there was silence.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. What if he read the book? What if he knew the name? What if he killed me or called the major back? Then I almost smirked. No, Major Ivory would never let a person read books let alone a book about world domination buy the state and dictators. He would never jeopardize his iron fist like that.

It didn't matter though. I was still kicking myself for being stupid.

"Lenina from Reds?" He asked.

"I'm a sharpshooter there. Please, please, let me go." I begged. The man sized me up, his eyes lingering on my body. My warn out blue shorts were pretty short and my black tank top was ripped in many places.

I almost laughed serves me right for saying that my name was Lenina. Then the irony was cut short by my anger.

Pervert. I thought and then realized that it was easier to get out if he was a pervert. All I had to do was-

"If you let me out I'll flash you." I said and the boy hesitated, but looked into my eyes.

You freaking pervert. Now I know what's going to get your attention.

I was so close. I was that damn close. I could do this just a little smile and then I could run as far as I could when he let me out.

"Come on, it'll be just like before the outbreak when you had time to worry about girls." I said. "You miss that. Don't you?" I asked. "You miss having fun?" I could hear footsteps and my heart skipped a beat.

"You're a criminal." He said. "Mullin's is fair and they would never lock up a innocent. They only lock up the weak and the traitors." I bit my lip. The footsteps drew closer. My heart jumped into my throat.

"Please, let me out, please, please. You work so hard for the base. You're so loyal. Let me out and have a night to yourself." I said. "Please, this can be like Romeo and Juliet. We're made for each other." I begged. He squirmed at the name of the book. I quickly backtracked.

"I was a aspirating actress before the outbreak. I was in the play. Come on, just let me out already!" I said desperately then regained myself, smiling at him. "Just un-cuff me, unless you want to spend the entire night rotting." I said and put a stretch on rotting.

He looked around and winked at me. It took all my strength and composure to wink back. The footsteps were right outside the door now.

The young man leaned down and un-cuffed me I stood up, smiled provocatively, and then before he could do anything I punched him square across the face and started to run, knocking down Dr. Hills and throwing Major Ivory aside as I ran out of the hospital. I was almost at the fence when I felt an arm grab me. I turned around ready to deck whoever it was square in the face but I recognized the face of Fred, a member of the resistance. I threw my arms around him.

"Jesus, you scared me! I thought you were all dead." I whispered. He smiled at me.

"They are all dead." I looked down.

"They were brave." I whispered.

"It was a valiant attempt." He agreed. I let go of him.

"Have you seen Clarisse? I pushed her out but I don't know if she got away." I said. He shook his head. He turned around. I could hear shouts and running. I looked back at Fred. "We got to get out of here, Fred. Come on." I said but he didn't move.

"We can't go." He said and I looked around. I could see them marching in formation towards us.

I could not believe that the guards at Mullin's had nothing better to do then march in formation towards a few escapees.

Had they no life? Wait, that's right, I forgot, evidently they don't have a life. They're as damn brainwashed as it gets.

"Fred! We need to go now!" I snapped.

"My name is Eighty Two." He snapped and grabbed my wrists, throwing me into a barrack wall. I cried out as I hit my head.

Concussions are supposed to jumble your brain but my suspected one just straightened everything out.

To put it in kindergarten terms, the only terms that Mullin's soldiers would understand; the teachers pet and the nerd, who would do anything to be cool, Fred, tattled on a bunch of really nice people and got them in a whole lot of trouble because the teacher, who wanted to know who colored on the chalkboard, promised him a cookie.

Conclusion of the day: never trust people from Mullin's.

He grabbed my hair and pulled me up, throwing me over to the awaiting arms of Major Ivory. He looked down at me and slapped me across the face.

"You disgust me, Ninety Three. You are a traitor and a self-centered liar. I ask that you cooperate with the base protocol and what do you and your boyfriend do? Steal books. I ask that you participate in therapy sessions. What do you do? Spit in a good doctor's face. I-"

"You are manipulating the world to what you want! You killed Jake and-"

"I'll do the same to you, Ninety Three." He hissed and pulled me up by my hair. "In a matter of fact, Comrade Seventy Four." He said, getting the attention of a young man. He turned around. "Can you gather the people? I do believe we have a execution to watch." He said and looked down at me. I closed my eyes.

"But Sir, you said that Ninety Three was dead. You said she killed herself." The man said. Major Ivory scoffed.

"That's what she lead us to believe, dear boy. In truth, she was hiding out at Abel Township. Those scum were hiding her." He spit. I rolled my eyes.

"Yah, like your guard in there would have done. He would have gladly hid me." I whispered.

"Shall I get the bombs out? We can make them pay. The operation of Scoobs was rather successful." A private asked. I looked up, my sarcastic demure gone. They could have me, but not my friends not a entire group of the population. Not our only hope for civilized future and not the next generation for human beings.

"No! No! You can't do that! I was never at Abel! It's all my fault! I crashed the chopper down and ran into the woods. I let you believe I was dead. I even left another note in the copter. Abel had nothing to do with anything, I never made it over to them." I begged, looking strait into the Major's eye, unwilling to let anyone here see me cry.

"No, no attacks will be made. Green Shoot still needs to be carried out but you can go get a rope and a knife and a table. I am going to hang and quarter Ninety Three, just lie they did to traitors back in the past." He said and pressed me up against the barrack wall. "Forget the electrocution Ninety Three, that would be to kind. I am going to make sure you suffer." He hissed into my ear. I bit back all of my fear and pretended that I had never left and that I was just in trouble again.

Really big trouble.

"Shut up, you piece of -" I tried to swear but was cut off by a sharp strike to the back of my neck.

"Do you know what hanging and quartering is Ninety Three?" Major Ivory asked me. I shook my head. He laughed. "They used to do it to traitors all through history." He said and put an arm around me like we were friends. "First we hang you until you are just about dead, but don't worry. You'll still be alive an conscious, very much able to feel pain." He laughed.

"Thanks for having such compassion and making sure I'm conscious for the rest of probably pain filled execution." I snapped sarcastically.

"Then we'll lay you on a table and we'll gut you like a fish, as you're still screaming in pain." He whispered, trying to be menacing.

Secret? It was working.

"But I won't be screaming because you will have hung me and I'll most likely be gasping for air the entire time, Major. Better think these things through before-" He slapped me.

"Shut up!"

"So you can male me listen to how you're going to kill me? No thank you." I said with as much attitude as I could muster. The familiar banter almost made it like good old days.

"Then I'm going to burn your organs in front of you and cut your head off and show it to thru crowd, but I'll tell you a secret, Ninety Three. It won't be the crowd that will be looking at your head it'll be you looking at the crowd." I creased my face.

"What? That doesn't even make sense." I snapped. He laughed.

"It does, because did you know that when you sever a head you're still very much alive for ten seconds? Ten seconds or agonizing pain, but ten seconds for you to see what-" I felt like I wanted to hurl. He was probably just making it up you scare me, but it was working.

"Stop!" I exclaimed in a momentary show of weakness. I wished I could bite him or slap him or throw up all over his spiffy army uniform. I always wanted to do that. He laughed.

"Anyways, Ninety Three. Hanging and quartering is a great way to go. Don't really see why they stopped." He snapped.

"Ummm... Maybe because it's inhumane, disgusting, and more savage then giving people numbers instead of names? Just a observation." That comment got me a slap across the face.

"I only wish I could have done the same to your dear boyfriend."

"I only wish that-" I was cut off by Dr. Hills.

"Major Ivory, maybe we should try another round of drugs. She-" Dr. Hills started. I looked around. No, no, no, no. I'd take hanging and quartering over living here on drugs.

"Regan, the girl has caused so many problems for us. She is clearly trying to sabotage and take down the base. It is our duty to-"

"I don't know, Grayson." She mused. " She has been to Abel and you know it. She might have gotten the knowledge subconsciously." Dr. Hills said.

"Since when are you two on a first name basis?" I asked. Major Ivory threw me against the barrack wall again.

"She is dirty and she has disgraced the name of Mullin's." He said and grabbed me again. Dr. Hills followed.

They were going to kill me. I was going to die unless I could think of something to do and fast. What is one thing that is going to get me kicked out of base? I was to scared to think properly and all of my thoughts were focused on making it seem like I wasn't scared at all. How could I get out of this base?

I couldn't run. There was to many people and I would never be able to climb the fence in time and I hated to admit it, but I wasn't fast enough to get out of here with people shooting at me.

I couldn't flirt with anyone. Major Ivory was stick strait and I suspected in a relationship with Dr. Hills.

I could not fight my way out of a group of close to two hundred civilians and one hundred military officials.

"Let's go, Ninety Three."

"Bite me." I hissed but started to walk. That gave me an idea. I was going to get bit. It was a long shot, but I needed out of here and then without warning I knew I was going to do something crazy.

Cuts always have more blood then skin. Blood always drips and looks like more then there really is. I remembered that from my first year of school. I forget what class it was, but it was boring.

It was also going to save y life now.

If I executed it right I could get out. I could be let out the gates.

Either that or it would get me shot right on the spot. Major Ivory was walking ahead and a procession of soldiers was behind me. I took my arm and started to scratch it as hard as I could.

Drawing blood was vital and making any wounds on my arm covered in blood was vital too. I bit my lip and held back tears and screams of frustration as I casually picked at my arm until I had a cut about five inches and bleeding fluidly.

They walked me over to the amphitheatre and Major Ivory dragged me onto the stage. The crowd was starting to form and pretty soon I could see the entire base here. None of them were on my side. They were all brainwashed. I looked around. My arm killed, even though it was only a scratch. I could not let Mullin's see anything but the blood. I was already at a disadvantage.

I wasn't going to have time. There was no time. To my joy he walked away and addressed the crowd. It gave me a few minutes to think. I could do this. I could bluff.

Not.

I couldn't lie for my life and here I was relying on a lie to keep me alive.

"Friends, people of Mullin's Base, loyal and good people! We are gathered here today to-"

"Speed it up, Brutus." I snapped. Jake had read me Caesar by Shakespeare when we first started reading together. Major Ivory looked down at me and then back up at the crowd. He grabbed my wrist and helped me onto the chair, holding up my arm like I was an Olympic winner.

"It might be a mistake but at Mullin's we are fair. Do you have any last words?" He asked. I got to address a venue at Mullin's? This was a goddamn dream come god damn true!

I wanted to spout out about how they were all idiot but then I remembered Jake and me. I used to be just like them. They were ignorant, not idiots.

"Oh, creature, how great is the ignorance that harms you?" I said as loud as I could and the crowd started to murmur. "You are all ignorant. Wake up and think about life before. Did you have a dictator like Major Ivory? Did you-" I was cut off.

So much for last words. I guess that was a little much for the military officials to let me say. Major Ivory grabbed my arm harder and wrenched me onto the stool slipping the noose around my neck. I wanted to just die right now. I wanted to cry in front of them, but then again that would be giving them what they wanted.

"This women lied to you! She said that she was dead so she could-" He stopped talking and lowered my arm. My heart started to beat faster. My stomach killed. My throat went dry. Sam was probably worried sick. Sara was going to need a cuticle file. That's how bad her nails were going to be. Janine was a tough call. She would definitely be worried but she was going to be pissed too. Ed was going to be telling them that I was ok, but he probably though different. Dr. Myers was going to want to talk about all my feelings.

God she was such a shrink.

I could do this.

I could make it back to them.

"What happened here, Ninety Three?" He asked me, not loud enough so that everyone could here. I bit my lip and looked down. Just like Blackjack. I needed to keep a poker face until major Ivory really got me to crack. Then I could try my hand at acting I let some tears escape, which was more truth then acting. "Are you going to die?" He asked me.

No, stupid, you just wanted to hang me and cut me open for the fun of it. I'm sure you were going to get me sewn up right and new again.

"Answer me, Ninety Three." He threatened.

"I tried so hard for them, Major." I cried, adding a sniffling at the end. "I loved them more then anything, memories were all I had left but when Jake died, my paranoia just got so out of hand-" I lied. Just like Blackjack. I thought. Jake and I planned to go to Vegas when the outbreak was over. He often played cards with me. I sucked at everything.

"What happened to your arm?" He asked me. I grabbed onto the chair the he had wrenched me off of and I coughed a couple of times. The people started to whisper amongst themselves. I got up. Major Ivory was exchanging looks with another officer,

"A few minutes before I came into your base I ran into a herd of zombies. I started to run but-" I coughed a little harder and raised my voice so that everyone could hear. "I escaped them but I tripped and-" I started to cough more violently and crumpled to the ground. They were buying it. I held my arm. If they looked and saw that it was only a scrape then I was done for. "A crawler grabbed my arm and-" Major Ivory threw across the stage area. I crumpled over. I could take a beating. Blackjack. Nothing hurts you. Poker face, Brooklyn, poker face until you need to act again.

"Did you get bit, Ninety Three?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm going to a better place, Major." I said and stood up. "Getting bit doesn't hurt as much as you would-" I coughed harder and grabbed onto Major Ivory for support. He threw me into the crowd and they all started to scream. It was utter chaos. I could see a man getting out his gun. My heart started to race. Keep calm and remember to bluff. I thought. That's what Jake always said.

"Don't open fire! You'll cause a riot! Get her out of here and make sure she's halfway into the woods before you let her out of your site and if she struggles shoot her halfway out. If not then let her change just like that good for nothing boyfriend and brother of her's." Major Ivory said and true to his word he calmed the crowd down and I was escorted in an army jeep (how they had the fuel was beyond me) halfway back to Abel and halfway away from the hellhole that they call Mullin's.

I hadn't even planned the last part. I thought I'd have to run as far as possible out of there as he was calming the crowd.

I might not have been much of a liar but I was a damn good actress. I made sure to cough and sputter the entire time. I turned to the man driving and realized that it was the same man who let me put of cuffs. He looked chalk white and his eyes were wide.

"Hey, stud." I teased and coughed one more time. He ignored me. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" I asked, in my most flirty voice. Might as well have some fun on the awkward car ride.

"Cat got my tongue? More like the entire base will cut out my tongue for helping you!" He yelled. I looked around. I hadn't thought about that. I mean, Major Ivory will literally have my head! You know that knife that was for you? Well, he has no problem using it on me!" The man yelled. I hadn't thought about that. In my conquest to get out I had probably killed so many. I looked taken aback. The man started to cry. You couldn't cry at base. I looked around. Emotions were not welcome, mostly because like that goddamn book, they made us loyal to each other.

Not our asshole dictate, Major Ivory. I don't even think major is that high of a rank, but I guess that shows what the world has left.

"If I die, then what'll happen to my sister?" He asked. He had a family. "You have to find her. She ran out. She was part of the resistance and they're all dead, but I saw her go and-"

Again, paint me intrigued and freaked out. Relationships were frowned upon, unless you were Major Ivory flitting around with anyone you wanted or a high-ranking official. Then you were ok to do whatever, but other then that, loyalty to anyone but the base was prohibited.

"Clarisse was your sister?" I asked, shocked. He nodded.

"And her name was, Seventy Seven. Mine is Seventy Eight." He snapped. The jeep stopped. I touched his forehead. Pervert or not, he had hope. If he loved his sister and he cried. He was hope. I just needed to give him a little spark so that he could start a fire.

Yes, I know it was using him and betraying Jake, but I leaned over and gently touched his cheek.

"Start a new resistance. You go back there and help give your sister or her memory what she wanted. Let's write history together." I whispered. He looked distressed. If I pushed a little more one of two things would happen. A, I would get what I wanted or B, I would get a bullet in the head.

"I want to serve Mullin's though! I'm a private! I want to help them!"

"Then it's not my issue!" I snapped, dropping my demure and opening the door. He grabbed my wrist.

"Lenina-" He started and he used names? This was a pretty good start. Then it hit me. He doesn't know who I am. Yet he was here before me. I was a legend. Jake was too. How could he not know my face or my number or even my real name? I went around using it. It was confused again.

"My name's not Lenina. I lied. It's Brooklyn and I also lied about being bit. I'm not infected." I said and he looked around, not really caring.

"If I go back and start another resistance, I'll die."

"According to you, you will die if you don't to. Better to start something and try then die and just give up. Take it from someone who knows." I muttered and thought back to my night run through zombie territory. He looked around.

So close to caving...

I prayed for forgiveness from Jake and any god above. Then I leaned in and kissed his lips gently. Pervert might do what I asked now. He looked around.

"Do it for me too. Me and my family who never made it past the first few months." I said. "I'll come over and help too." I said.

I'll also come over to see why the hell you don't know whom I am.

Maybe I wasn't as popular as I thought I was. No, Major Ivory humiliated me all the time in front of everyone. That meant that this boy must have been off the base when I was there. Where was he? I thought, but pushed them out of my minds.

I felt bad for using him, but I needed a seed for the rebellion and he was my seed. I just gave him the sparks.

"Do the right things." I said and kissed him again. This time he grabbed onto my waist and I kissed him more passionately. His lips were warm and his breath tasted like cinnamons. After a few minutes I pulled away and screamed. Realization hit me. "Stop! Just stop!" I said and put both my hands to my head.

"I'm sorry. That was not an honorable private thing to do. I let my emotions and desires get on the way of my duty. I was spineless and compulsive." He said and even though I was the one who started the whole thing I shot up.

"Good, you son of a- Oh, Jesus, what did I do? Jake, I'm sorry." I said. The man just looked at me, totally freaking out in the army car.

"I won't ever do it again." He said but it was to late. I got up, flung the door open and had started running out and back towards Abel. I could hear the hum of the jeeps engine driving away. I had so many fixed emotions. I flicked my transmitter back on.

"Sam?" I asked. "Are you there?" He was on in a heartbeat.

"Brooklyn? Oh my god, I was so scared. Are you ok?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yah, I'm out of Mullin's. You need to help me get back to Abel." I begged.

"Of course!" He said. I took a few minutes and then started to run, following Sam's directions back to the town until I could see the gates. I walked through them and into his arms.

"Second time you scared me half to death. Oh, Jesus, Brooklyn. Never do that again. I want to know what happened." He said. I looked up.

"First I need to see Dr. Myers." I said and passed Sam the bad of supplies I collected. "Can you get that to wherever that needs to go?" He nodded and then his tone changed.

"What happened?" He asked. I showed him the scrape. He nodded and I told him the whole story as we walked over to the hospital.

"And then I came back here!" I finished. He smiled. The entire story was watered down. I was not going to take any more sympathy.

"God, am I glad to have you back and that was a genius move. Faking a bite? That was freaking genius! I'm going to go tell everyone I know and we're all going to come over to your barracks and you can tell the whole entire story and-" He said and I laughed.

"Don't you dare, Sam Yao. I swear to god if you go around telling anyone I'll-" Sam turned around and grabbed Evan who was walking past.

"Hey, Evan, want to know what Brooklyn just did?" Sam asked.

"Don't you dare, Sam." I warned, but he ignored me.

"Brooklyn just got captured by Mullin's and they wanted to kill her so she faked a bite in front of the entire base!" He exclaimed. Evan laughed. I still didn't like Evan.

"That's quick thinking, Brooklyn. Well done. You're starting to think like a survivor." Evan said. "Let's just hope that Mullin's doesn't try anything with us. We can't afford that." He said. I hated the way Evan always made me feel like everything was my fault.

"They won't. A private asked Major Ivory if he should start a attack and the major kept on talking about Green Shoot." I said. Evan looked unsure of something. I hated when people kept secrets from me but I didn't have time to bother because Sam had already grabbed another man and was talking to him about my escape.

"Chris, you should have seen her she was amazing. Well, I didn't even see her, but I'm sure she was amazing and-"

"Sam, knock it off." I hissed. The man, Chris, smiled at me and nodded. I gave him the 'I'm exasperated' smile and eye roll. He smiled.

"Give her time, Sam. Let her be." He said and walked away. I took Sam's arm.

"Let's go to the hospital now." I said and Sam nodded.

"Ok, sorry, I just think what you did is cool." I nodded. I didn't care, honestly. We reached the hospital and I froze at the entrance. I remembered back to Mullin's. I turned to Sam.

"On second thought. Can you ask Dr. Myers to come see me when she has a second? I just need to talk with her real quick." I said and as quick as I could ran into barracks. Sara was waiting there with her head in her hands and sitting at the table. I walked over. I had never seen Sara so upset and distressed. She always kept a cool head. I walked over and put a hand on her shoulder. "Sara? Are you ok?" I asked. She looked up and her eyes widened. She got up and threw her arms around me.

"Brooklyn, I was so scared." She said. "You cut off communication and you were in Mullin's and-" Her shaky tone caused me to burst into tears. I cried harder then I ever have.

Especially in front of Sara.

Can you really blame me though, whoever is reading this? Ok, I'm going to get a little deep here. I was thinking though, if Dr. Myers is right and I'm scared of hospitals and doctors because of Mullin's then why not just be scared of Dr. Hills and Mullin's base? Do I know? No. Does Janine? No. Does Dr. Myers? Probably, but I don't want to ask her.

My theory on it, which is probably as good as shit, is that places hold memories and once you have one memory you apply it to everywhere and I guess that's why I was so scared now.

"Sara, I'm sorry. I just had to and they-they-" She guided me down to a chair and sat me down, not letting go of me.

"Shhh, Brooklyn, calm down, Hun. It's ok. You're not at Mullin's anymore. You're here at Abel with me." She said and I tried to calm myself down, but to no avail.

I cried because of everyone in the resistance and because of the hospital and the close call and the kiss. I was petrified still. I kissed some boy I didn't even know in the hopes that one moment will reverse a lifetime of brainwashing. All my memories were like replaying in my head. Sara stroked my hair and tried to calm me down.

"And then they dragged me in and strapped me down and they were going to kill me! Twice!" I cried. "And Fred was evil and I felt like I still lived there. You know what scared me most, though, Sara?" I asked. She looked at me. "The fact that sometimes I just wanted to give up to them and let them do what I wanted. Sometimes I just wanted to scream that I would join up again." I cried and she pulled me closer.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry." She said. "I should have come. I could have done something." I cried harder and she stood up. I grabbed her arm. I felt like I was three.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm going to get you some tea." She said. I shook my head.

"Just stay." I begged and she looked around.

"Ok, honey. I will." She said and stood me up, walking me over to the bed and lying me down. She laid a heavy blanket over my shoulders ad sat down next to me. Sara was the one person right now who didn't see the whole thing as a dramatic escape and an episode of Charlie's Angels. She understood. She used to reside at Mullin's, as she told me.

"Sara, why are people so evil?" I asked. She shook her head.

"I don't know, Brooklyn. I don't know. " She said and I turned over. It felt good to be taken care of by someone.

"You know what I think, Sara?" I asked. She looked over and I turned to face her.

"What do you think, Brooklyn?" She said as she took my arm and pressed a rag to it. I smiled.

"I don't think Mullin's and New Canton have anything on us." I said and Sara laughed.

"You're wrong there, honey." She said. "They have guns and rockets and cars and-" I smiled.

"But they have no allegiance and with each other. They're comrades and privates, not friends and I don't know how I survived for so long without friends." I whispered and the door opened. I looked up. Dr. Myers was standing in the doorway with Ed Harrison and his daughter Molly and Suzy. I smiled. Suzy ran over to me.

"Sam told me what you did and I think you're amazing!" She exclaimed. I thanked her and she stayed with me until Dr. Myers told her that she needed to go. I didn't want her too, but I needed to talk to the doctor. Ed came over.

"You're amazing, Runner Five. Don't you ever forget what you did here at Abel." He said and I smiled.

"Thank you, Ed." I told him and as he walked out I called back. "If you feel comfortable can Molly stay?" I asked and he nodded at me. I took the baby into my arms. It was a comfort. Dr. Myers pulled a chair up to the bed.

"Sam told me your arm is cut, but that's not the reason you wanted me is it?" She asked. I shook my head and took a deep breath.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry. Not for not cooperating, for being horrible and assuming that you were like Dr. Hills. You're nothing like her." I said. Dr. Myers smiled.

"I understand why you were nervous and I appreciate your honesty now." Dr. Myers said.

"But I need you to understand that this does not mean I can control myself. This means that I will always be nice to you." I admitted. "Every time I look at you I se her and I can't control that." I said.

"I understand. You don't have to like me, you need to be able to work with me though." She said. I nodded.

"Maybe we could work on that for therapy tomorrow?" I asked. She nodded.

"Janine needs to speak with you." Dr. Myers said. Sara got up.

"I'll go find her. You stay here, Brooklyn." Sara said and I looked around.

"Can I go see her? I need to talk to her in private." I said and Sara exchanged a glance with the doctor.

"Go ahead, Brooklyn." Dr. Myers said and Sara embraced me a last time.

"Never scare me like that again." She said. I winked at her, trying to hide the remainder of my feeling and my still beating faster than normal heart.

"I can't promise that." She pulled me closer. I looked at her, dropping my tone. "Sara, do you think they'll come for me? I mean they're not idiots and I didn't have a bite mark and-"

"They are not going to touch you, Brooklyn. I promise. We're not going to let them." Sara said and I nodded and walked out to find Janine. She wasn't in the comms shack or the recreation center. I didn't bother to check the hospital, but I did walk over to the armory. She was inside, reading a book. I walked in.

"Dr. Myers said you needed to talk to me?" I asked and Janine nodded, motioning for a chair.

"Sit, please, Miss Harker." She said and I did. "Well, Sam told me about Mullin's." I shivered.

From the cold, not fear or nerves. Strictly the cold.

"You were sensational this week, Brooklyn. You delivered the messages and-"

"A lot of good they are now. The resistance is dead and gone." I said. Janine sighed.

"Yes, tragic, I herd, but, Miss Harker, we need to keep going. I am going to ask if you want a week off strictly for a reward. You did sensational." She offered. I nodded. As long as I didn't have to stay in the hospital, sure.

"What'll you have me do?" I asked. She stood up.

"Usually we would have you help in the garden, but it's winter, so you can work the gate or play with the children. You can-"

"I'll play with the kids." I said and stood up, yawning. "Thanks, Janine." I said. "You are this isn't sympathy?" She nodded.

"Of course it's not. Go get some sleep." She said and I walked back to barracks. Janine was staying with Evan; they were going to be counting ammo and all. I lay down and let myself drift off.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I do remember waking up in a cold sweat, with tears dripping out of my eyes. I glanced at the clock. Three in the morning. Janine was now lying in bed and Sara was sleeping and Sam was to.

"Brooklyn? Are you alright?" I heard a voice ask. It was Sam. He had woken up. I opened my eyes wider.

"Yah, I'm fine. Just a bad dream and all." I said. He bit his lip.

"Brooklyn, how long's it been since you really slept?" He asked. I shrugged and brushed my hair back. "You need get some help." He said seriously.

"Mind your own damn business." I snapped. He got up.

"Wait here. I'm going to go get you a sedative." He said. I grabbed his arm.

"No! Please." I begged. Sam sat me back down.

"Look, Brooklyn, I'm sorry, but you need to sleep." He said. "Listen to me. I trust you. Sara trust you too, but I need to know that you trust me too." He said and I sighed, taking a deep breath.

"Ok." I said and Sam exited. After a few minutes he reentered with four pills. "Sorry I woke you up and all, Sam." I said.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I don't sleep heavy like Janine there." He said. "Sometimes I think she snores." He said and I laughed a little. He always knew how to make me smile. I took the pills in my sweating palm. What if I took them and got hooked, like Jake was?

"Do you want me to wake Sara up? She might be able to calm you down a little." Sam said. I looked around and after a few minutes I nodded. He smiled. "She won't mind. I promise. She cares to much about you." That was a lie. Sara felt bad for me. Sam shook Sara awake. I just needed someone who

"Sara! Sara! Brooklyn needs some help." He said. She looked up and then at me and she was next to me in a heartbeat. It almost surprised me.

"It's ok, honey. Just like before." She coaxed. "I'm here. I won't leave you, Brooklyn. Just take the pills." She coaxed. "I'm here and Sam is here and so is Janine and Ed's over in the next bunk with Evan and Jody and Simon. You're here at Abel with your friends. Nothing is going to happen to you, sweetheart. Just get some sleep."

"What if there is a fire and I-" Sara shushed me.

"I'll make sure nothing happens to you." She promised.

"Sara, I killed those people. I could have saved all of them, but I didn't. I ran because I was selfish." Sara shushed me.

"Stop that, Brooklyn. You were scared and you were traumatized. Take it easy on yourself, honey. You did what you thought was right" I looked around and then up at her with teary eyes. Why did I feel this way? Why didn't I just pop them? I did it the entire week that I was in the hospital, but they had me hooked up to IVs and all. I was disoriented. It didn't count. I was still loyal to Jake.

"I didn't want to end up like Jake, Sara. I didn't want to end up dead. I promised Jake that I would survive for him I promised that I would keep the fire brining, Sara. I swore to him and I screwed up! Now Mullin's is going to keep everyone brainwashed and it's all my fault! Oh god, Sara, I screwed up so bad. I didn't know about Fred either. I should have though."

"Brooklyn, listen to me now." She said in a stern voice. "I'm sorry you feel this way, but I honestly believe that you had the best intentions at heart maybe it's better this way. Maybe the people at Mullin's will see what happened and what the major did but right now there is nothing you can do and right now you need to get some sleep." She said and I nodded.

"I got one of them out, you know." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Her name was Clarisse and she had blonde hair and kind of purple eyes. She was the secretary for the resistance and I shoved her out and told her to run here."

"See then!" Sam exclaimed. "You saved her." Sara motioned for him to be quiet. I could feel myself getting scared again. What if the only member of the resistance was still out there? What if she was alive? I was so self centered, lying here and complaining my ass off. What if Mullin's knew she was alive? I told Fred that she was ok. What if they came here and-

"I don't want to die, Sara." I said and passed the pills back to her. I was probably pissing her off. I thought I was going to look up and see her rolling her eyes but she wasn't. She forced the pills back into my hand. "Mullin's might come and then-" I started.

"You are not going to die, Brooklyn. I promise, sweetheart." She said with more compassion then I'd ever herd from her. "I'd sooner take the bullet, honey." I looked up. That statement surprised me. The only one who would die for me was Jake. My parents would have fed me to the dogs if that were what Major Ivory told them to do, even before the outbreak they always listened to the family friend.

I never liked him. He used to have a son. I think he died in the outbreak. I cursed myself out for thinking one word.

Good. Major Ivory deserved all the shit he got and I was happy his son was dead. I never liked that pervert anyways.

I smirked at the memory. I could remember being so angry at the Major for having always being at our house that when I was twenty one I treated his son to drinks and we both go so wasted that night that we kissed in his dad's car. I wasn't with Jake then.

No, I met Jake in high school and we broke up senior year. Then we got back together at the base again. I would never have cheated on Jake. The major was furious, though. He yelled at us both for twenty minutes. Sara smiled at me.

"You see, that's what I don't understand. Why? Either you are a really good actress or you really care in both cases I want to know why?" She sighed.

"You remind me of my boy, Brooklyn. He was special and I missed him so much at the start of the outbreak then you came along and acted just like him. Now you're much older, but still. I saw something in you, honey. I still do and I care about you, which is why I'm here. Just take the pill, Brooklyn."

"Why were you mean to me at the beginning then?" I asked.

"Easy, she didn't trust you. She had reasons to. We all did." I turned to the door and saw Runner Seven and Six at the door. Maggie had her hands on her hips and she tossed her blonde hair again. I bet she wasted her pack space picking up conditioner and hair dye because it still looked pretty damn blonde to me.

I hated most people who dyed their hair. It was a sign of desperation. I, Miss Brooklyn Ida Harker, was not desperate.

"That's great, Maggie. Whatever." I muttered. "What the hell are you doing here at like three in the morning?" I asked.

"We heard about the mission, Five. I just wanted to make sure one of my star runners was alright." Evan said. I rolled my eyes. Sam smiled at me and bit back a laugh, covering it up with a cough.

"I'm fine. Thanks for the fake concern." I snapped. Evan kept his cool better then I had expected him to.

"It wasn't fake, Five. I was genuinely scared for you and genuinely happy when you cam back."

"Yah, that's right, I forgot. You must have missed being patronizing and degrading towards me, both of you." I shot back. Sam coughed again.

"Be nice, Five." Maggie warned.

"I'll try being sweeter if you try being less shallow and self centered and maybe a little less manipulative. Deal?" I shot.

"Man, I wonder how Janine sleeps through this?" Sam said and we all looked over, glaring at him. "Just a observation." He said defensively.

"Five's scared to take the pills?" Maggie asked.

"No, I'm not, Six. Just don't want to be doped up when you come in here at five and try to suffocate me because you think I exchanged secret info with Mullin's on my runs." I hissed. Even Evan knew not to hit low like that on me.

"Then let's not fight be we can all be friends." Maggie said and smiled. That was the Sara Smith smiled. When she first met me she always smiled like that to get me to do things and to manipulate me.

"Fine, just leave." I hissed.

"Get some rest first, Five. Take the pills you need them."

"You need anti freaking psychotic pills, Six." I muttered under my breath. Sam coughed again, hiding another laugh.

"Watch your tone with us, Five." Maggie hissed.

"Come on, Maggie. Leave her alone." Sara said. I gave Six a cold look. We didn't like each other much. Granted, I didn't like Seven much either or Dr. Myers. I was starting to think that maybe all the problems I have were my fault, either that or karma was biting my ass off, and then in that case it would still be my fault.

"No, it's really ok, Sara. We're all friends here. No one would ever act rude to me and pray on weaknesses because they don't trust me." I said and looked down at the pills in my hand.

I felt sick. Was I really going to take them because of pride?

I took a deep breath in and popped the pills. Maggie smiled at me. I hated her so much right now. Sara guided me into a lying position and I looked around. What had I just done?

I was scared so I popped a pill to make it all go away? I breathed heavier and looked around, not even caring anymore that Evan and Maggie were standing right there.

"Good work today, Five." Maggie said and walked out.

"Yah, that's right." I muttered. "Walk out like always." Sam smiled.

"Good Night, Five." Evan said I hated them so much right now. I mean come on, I know it's the apocalypse but you can try minding your own business.

"I'm sorry." I said and Sara put an arm around me, motioning for Sam to get back to sleep. He did. Sara helped me down and started to stroke my hair back.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. It's all going to be ok, honey." She promised and I yawned.

"You know what you are, Sara?" I asked.

"What, sweetheart?" She asked.

"Well when I first met you I hated you, but now you're like-well- my mother." I said and Sara smiled. "I never really had a good one but you make up for it." I said. She raised an eyebrow. "No, really, you are. You take care of me and wake up in the middle of the night for me and-"

"Ok, I believe it, just close your eyes." She said. I tried to forget about the pill that I took, but that was hard." You're tensing up, honey. Calm down." Sara said. "What would you say if I told you I hated myself for doing something horrible?" It was a weight on my chest and I needed to tell someone. I needed to tell someone who would understand and when you have a boy problem who do you go to?

Your mother.

Now I never had a mother to go to, but right now, Sara was my best bet.

"What did you do, Brooklyn?" She asked. The entire story spilled out. I told her about how I felt and slowly as I talked I could feel my eye drooping. Sara kept me from crying during my story.

"And now I feel scared and like I betrayed someone or something and-" I felt sick a tired and I just wanted to sleep. In Janine's book, I had the week off, but not in my book and I needed rest.

"Brooklyn, you did what you had to. You know how it works now. We look out for ourselves and the people we care about." She said. "You tried your best to look out for those people and you can't help that boy, Brooklyn." She said. "If anything, you did the noble thing." I looked down.

"That kind of not what's bugging me..." I muttered. "That's only a bit." I said. She looked into my eyes. I averted them and she pulled my face gently up so I looked into her green eyes.

"You liked him?" She asked. I blushed the brightest crimson I had ever. The pills were starting to work.

"I don't know. I missed kissing someone and now that Jake's gone... I don't know, Sara. He was kind. He could have let me die and knew I was lying and let me go and he's different from everyone back at base and-"

"Ok, sweetheart, don't get worked up. We can talk later. Thanks for telling me." She said and I nodded.

"I'm Lenina Crowne." I muttered. "Super slut of utopia." I muttered. Sara smirked.

"You are not a slut, honey. Jake is gone. We all have to move on, but I know someone who would be a little crushed if they found out you kissed someone else." She said. I looked up at her.

"But it doesn't matter because we're not telling anyone. Right?" I said and she nodded.

"Of course, Hun." She said and then started to stroke my hand gently again she looked up and started to sing. "In Dublin's fair city where the girls are so pretty I did first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone. She wheeled her wheelbarrow through streets wide and narrow crying-" I cut her off, my eyes still closed.

"What the hell are you singing?" I asked. She laughed.

"A Irish lullaby I used to sing for my boys. Be good and go to sleep." She said and I tried to be good for Sara Smith and go to sleep, but I think the pills did most of the work.

Conclusion of the day: I am a giant slut, just like Lenina, who might not be so bad after all. I mean it's not her fault she was brainwashed. But the bigger point of the day is that no one, and I mean NO ONE, makes me look like an idiot and no one, and I mean NO ONE, gets me scared like that and this whole thing with Major Ivory and Mullin's? Well, things are going to be getting a little hotter around here. Mullin's better watch their back because I am just getting started.


	20. Kerosene

December 18 2014

_** It is one year before the outbreak. I'm twenty-four years old and my parents have been a part of the army for quite some time now. Right now I'm the oldest daughter to Lieutenant Alidade Marie Harker and Major Brendon Harker. I have a one-year-old brother names Aidan. My father has just become a major. He was having a part over at his house to celebrate. The guests had just started to show up and I was still getting ready. **_

_** I was upstairs in my room brushing out my hair. I was still in my gray shorts and white tank top. I really didn't want to get dressed up tonight. I missed Jake. We had to break up senior year because his family was being brought away somewhere. I honestly didn't know where, but I think my parents did. They said that dark things were happening and it was for the best. I wanted to know what but no one would tell me. There was a knock on the door. **_

_** "Come in!" I called. My mother walked in. She looked amazing. I wished I could have ever looked like she did. Her long dark hair was tied up in a tight bun and her red dress hugged her curves in all the right places. Her cold pricing green eye looked around. **_

_** "Brooklyn, Major Ivory and his son are here. Would you care to come down and be social?" I looked up. My father talked very highly of the major. I'd never met him. I was a bit curious to meet him. **_

_** "Ok." I said and finished brushing my hair. I got up and my mother stopped me. When I was younger she would have laughed and told me to stop being silly or something along those lines, but now she just stood their. **_

_** "It's not very funny, Brooklyn. Get something nice on." She said and I turned around, still angry that she wouldn't tell me anything. **_

_** "I don't find it funny." I responded and started out again. She shook her head and looked in my closet. **_

_** "Put this on." She said holding out a blue dress. I obediently put it on and then ran my hands over my face. I looked nothing like my mother or father. My eyebrows were bushy and my freckles looked more like blotches. I ran my hands through my hair. I didn't really remember what color it was originally I had died it so much. I wanted nice hair, like my mother. "You look very pretty. Make us proud." She said. **_

_** "I will." When have I not? **_

_** "True, true. You're my obedient good girl." She said. "My god, Brooklyn, you're so pretty." I thanked her lies and we walked down the stairs together. It seemed like every ranking official was in our house tonight. My mother led me to where my father was standing with a man. They were not laughing like most of the guests. "Major Ivory?" My mother said. "This is my daughter, Brooklyn." I stuck out my hand and he shook it.**_

_** "Pleasant to finally meet you, Brooklyn. Your parents speak highly of you." He said. I nodded. **_

_** "Yes, thank you." I said and Major Ivory smiled. My father patted me on the back. **_

_**"I'll leave you two to talk a little. I'm going to get something to drink." He said and took my mother's hand. The Major picked up a glass of water. **_

_** "I don't drink. Do you, Brooklyn?" He asked. Something about this guy gave me the creeps. **_

_** "Occasionally." I said and the major poured me a glass of water. **_

_** "Will you be going into military like your parents, Miss Harker?" He asked. I shook my head. **_

_** "I've been thinking about being a doctor or a teacher or a therapist. I don't know yet really. I'm in my second year of school though. So I should probably make my mind up soon." **_

_** "What are you majoring in?" He asked. **_

_** "Biology and English literature." I said and sat down. The major nodded. **_

_** "You are interested in the study of life?" He asked. I nodded. **_

_**"Well, I'm more interested in the ocean and marine biology. I wouldn't want to work in a lab all day. As a marine biologist I could go on boats and all." I said. **_

_**"You won't be joining the army as your parents instructed?" He asked. **_

_** "It's-well-um- it's just not for me. I don't want to be military." I said. **_

_** "But your parents also told me that you're interested in psychology. They talk quite highly of you, you might want to work as a doctor for us." **_

_** "I am interested in psychology. More how the human brain works under stressful situations." I said. Major Ivory nodded. **_

_** "Then you'll love to meet my friend." He said and we both got up and started to walk. He taped a woman on the back and she turned around. Sometimes, looking back, the military or just this group that formed Mullin's seems like a club and if you're in it's ok and nothing will happen to you, but if you're not then you better watch out. **_

_** I wasn't always like I am now, reader. I wasn't always snappy and rude. I wasn't always sarcastic and headstrong. There was a time before the outbreak when I was just normal. **_

_** People could be normal before the apocalypse.**_

_** "Regan, this is Brendon's daughter, Brooklyn." The women turned around and smiled at me. **_

_** "Hello, Brooklyn. I'm Dr. Regan Hills. I shook her hand. "I hear your studying psychology." I nodded. "I'm a psychiatrist. It's fascinating. How the brain works, that is." I nodded. "I'm a doctor for the army. Are you military involved?" I shook my head. **_

_** "It just wasn't for me." I repeated. She laughed. **_

_** "Understandable. It takes a certain person to want to do that and if that's not for you then it's ok." I smiled at the doctor. I liked her. **_

_** "I do want to work with children though. Maybe abuse victims. I've always been interested in helping kids."**_

_** "It's a sad job, but noble if you can do it." She said. "I worked in a children's psyche hospital for a few terms. It was so sad. To think that children suffer like that. Well, I'll never understand." My father came rushing over and taped the major on his shoulder. **_

_** "Major Ivory?" He said in a serious tone. His eyes looked almost scared. The Major looked up at him. Their eyes met. **_

_** "Major Harker?" He said. "Is everything alright?" **_

_** "No, sir, we have reports of the outbreak down on all of the radio stations and all of the channels. We need to get as many people down to Mullin's as possible. Right now." He said. The Major looked over. **_

_** "What's going on?" I asked. **_

_** "It's not your concern, Brooklyn." My father said. "Go to your room and get changed into something conferrable." He said. I obeyed orders and that night we as well as half the town were carted over to Mullin's Base. **_

_**The scene shifted and I was in an all white room. It wasn't Mullin's or any hospital it was just there. **_

_** "Ninety Three." I voice said. I looked around and asked it whom it was. I whipped around. **_

_** "Who is it?" I asked. **_

_** "Ninety Three." The voice repeated and I screamed, banging on the walls, getting more frustrated. **_

_** "They're all dead, Ninety Three." The voice said and I collapsed down. **_

_** "Who? Who's dead?" I asked. **_

_** "They are. Brain-dead, but it, it can help." **_

_** "WHO?" I yelled. **_

_** "You." It said and I closed my eyes pinching myself. **_

_** "You can save them." The voice whispered. "Die for their sins." For a minute the voice sounded like Jake. **_

_** "How? How can I help?" I asked. **_

_** "Think." It said. **_

_** "About what and how is that going to help?" **_

_** "You're to inquisitive, Ninety Three. Just do what's right." The voice said and then the wall opened, and I walked inside. **_

_** "Brooklyn, they can't hurt you." It was Dr. Hills. I was astounded. She used my real name. **_

_** "Leave me alone!" I yelled. **_

_** "They can't hurt you but we can." She said and I could feel my arms being grabbed by invisible forces and I screamed. **_

_** "Help! Someone help me!" I screamed as I felt my arms being torn from my body.**_

_** "They can't." She said. "They're gone to you."**_

_** "What? What do you mean?" **_

_** "They're not the ones that are dead, Brooklyn. You are. To them and to the world."**_

"Brooklyn! Brooklyn!" I herd a voice call. "Wake up!" I did and I expected to see Sara or Sam or even Janine but it wasn't them. It was Dr. Myers. I looked around. I was at Abel and I was never taking sleeping pills again.

"Dr. Myers..." I said. She looked around. "I'm so sorry." I said.

"For what?" I stood up and put on my jacket.

"Thinking you were anything like Dr. Hills. You are nothing like them." I said and started out.

"Brooklyn, what happened?" she asked. I wasn't going to tell her anything. I looked back.

"I'm dead to Mullin's and that's got to change." I muttered.

"What? I don't understand." Dr. Myers said.

"I trust you now and next week I'll go on whatever runs you need me to." I said. "I'll follow all your orders, no contest."

"What?" Janine said and she walked in.

"Nothing." I stuttered out. "Just talking about dreams and all. Say, Janine-"

"Don't lie to me, Brooklyn."

"I'm talking about feeling like I'm dead." I said quickly and

I took time off, two days to be exact and I'll tell you something. No one knows I'm back on today. They will soon though. Janine will. She's curious already.

"How did you sleep?" I nodded.

"Ok, better then usual." I said. I was having lots of flashbacks of before the outbreak and lots of dreams about my parents and Mullin's and all. Dr. Myers told me that she thought that it was PTSD, but then again we all had that nowadays.

"Good. What are your plans today?" She asked. I shrugged and sat down next to her.

"Can I ask you about something?" I asked. She nodded and shut the laptop. I sighed and breathed. "I want to go back to Mullin's." Her eyes bulged.

"What?" She asked.

"I mean for the day, not forever. I want to see if I can stir up another rebellion." I said. Janine shook her head.

"Absolutely not!" She exclaimed. "The people at Mullin's think that you're dead and gone. You will go nowhere near that base, Brooklyn. That's a order." She said. I nodded.

It was an order, but not one I was sure I was going to follow. I had to find out what happened to that soldier and I needed to help the innocent civilians in that base.

"I'll probably head over to the recreation center and play. Then I'll read." I said and yawned. "Right now I'm going to get some tea?" I said. Janine nodded.

"I'll come with you. It's been a long night." She said and I nodded. We both got up and walked over to the food storage.

"I'll make it. You sit down." I said. She thanked me and did. I needed out of Abel and I needed out as soon as possible. I needed some excuse to get out. I made two cups of tea with the warn and used tea bags then carried one out to her. We sat in silence for a few minutes. I never knew what to say when I was around Janine. All I could think about right now was getting out, though. I needed a controller. I needed someone who wouldn't care what I did and someone who wouldn't rat me out.

Now, I know the big questions for everyone is; why would she even want to go back to that place? And honestly, I don't know, but I knew I had an obligation to the human race and I knew what Lem said about us all being a team. I needed to help those people and I knew that I could. I looked up.

"Janine, how did you do it?" I asked. She frowned.

"Come again?"

"How did you make Abel a real community?" She bit her lip and thought for a second.

"The major and I worked together to make us all friends first and then we started to worry about survival and how to do things. We needed rules. Stability is the pillar to a good society." Janine said. I started to think. My brain started to whirl. "What are you thinking about, Brooklyn?" She asked.

"Before the outbreak." I lied and stood up. "I think I'll head over to the recreation center. Thanks for everything, Janine." I started to walk out and reached the door to the recreation center.

I needed a controller who would be willing to help me out. Sam. No, he would tell someone and he would be bad under pressure. Janine. She pretty much told me no already. Sara. She would sooner die then have me go back there. Evan. He would rat me out just to be a pain in my ass.

"Runner Five!" I herd a voice from behind say. I turned around and saw my answer. Ed Harrison. I smiled.

"Hey, Ed. Where's Molly?" I asked.

"With Jody and Suzy. I have time to myself. Actually, I was looking for-"

"Hey, Brooklyn!" Sam said and he and Janine walked over. "Want to read a little today?" Sam asked. "I have toe day off too." He said. Janine still had her suspicious look on.

"Sorry, Sam, but Ed was just telling me how we needed some more fuel. He said it's urgent so he asked me if I could go out. He said that he knows that it's my day off but he really needs help. I'm ok to go, Janine." I said. She looked at Ed and he was smiling and rolling his eyes.

"All right. Miss Brooklyn, but get back soon. Sara says she needs to speak with you about Mullin's." I was half tempted to say something about finding more fuel and not needing to go, but I knew what I needed to do. I took Ed's hand and tugged him towards the comms shack.

"We're not going to find fuel. Are we?" He asked I looked up.

"Not a chance." I said.

I had a plan. I was going to sneak over to Mullin's tomorrow. I had five goals when I was there. I needed to find out more about this whole Green Shoot thing, I needed to start a new resistance; I needed to get Dr. Hills files so I could see about how she worked. How doctors worked, and I found it taking the top priority; I needed to find out what happened to that soldier.

Ok, so it wasn't a real plan. It was more of goals, but it was a start and I was good with thinking on my feet. Ed suited me up with a headset and I showed him how to work the microphone and all. He called to raise the gates and I felt a thrill about breaking the rules.

"So where are we going really?" He asked. I started out at a walk.

"Mullin's Base." I said and he coughed.

"Brooklyn!" He exclaimed. "Are you kidding me? You just escaped there and the entire resistance is gone." He pointed out.

"Ed, listen, you own me one and I need to do this. Trust me." I said. "If Janine finds out I take full blame for everything." I said and Ed sighed.

"I trust you, Brooklyn. What do you need me for?"

"Three reasons." I stated. "First, I need someone to talk to keep me calm and easy, second, I need directions, and third, well...I...um...Ed, I have this plan and I need some kerosene before I get there." I said. Ed groaned.

"Brooklyn!"

"What happened to trusting me! Now lock the comms door and tell me where to get some." I said and he gave me directions to a camping store. I carefully opened the door and grabbed a can of cooking fuel and some matches. Then Ed gave me directions to Mullin's and I made it there. My heart started to beat faster. I climbed the fence again and let myself drop down.

Ok, Brooklyn, goal one; the good doctor's files. I most certainly knew where Dr. Hills kept her files. In her office. I rounded the bend.

"Ok, Ed. I'm going to get some files. Can you just talk about stuff?" I asked. I was going to need a distraction from going to that goddamn hospital again.

"Brooklyn, come home." He said.

"I can't, Ed! Don't you understand how I work?" I asked.

"No, Brooklyn, I don't. You have it good here at Abel. Why do you need to know what's going on?"

"I can't explain it, but all through my life, even as a child, well, I've always needed to know stuff." I whispered and opened the doors to the hospital and walked in. My heart was beating faster then ever and I snuck around the guards and into Dr. Hills' office. She wasn't there and I could only imagine where she was. I knelt down in front of the bookcase. I grabbed a handful of files and shoved them in my bag. I should have let go, but I didn't. I grabbed Jake's file and my own file and both my parents and then Major Ivory's and Dr. Hills.

Everyone had a file.

That was all we were to the base. A file and a string of numbers.

I looked for Clarisse's but I couldn't find it under her name. She must have picked that name for herself. Then I decided to just empty all of the two hundred files into my bag. It was only a few pages each.

Yah, I'm just that smart.

Then I grabbed her keys and as I ran along the hallways I opened up every solitary confinement room I could get to. I didn't care if they were freaking axe murders, no one deserved the treatment that Mullin's gave people. I kept running through the wings until I reached the Major's office.

"How you holding up, Brooklyn?" Ed asked.

"Just fine. I got some files that might help me find out a little more about the way Mullin's runs." I said.

"Good for you, get out of there now. Come on, Brooklyn." Ed told me. I stupidly ran in and into the awaiting arms of a soldier, as I opened the door the major's office. I was going to scream but he looked shocked to.

It was the man I met the other day. Relief flooded my body to know that he was ok and that I wasn't going to die. He pulled me into the office.

"Lenina!" He exclaimed.

"I told you my name is Brooklyn. I lied to you." I said and tried to pretend that the relief in my eyes was that he wasn't going to kill me.

It wasn't for my own life. It was for him and it was because he was alive.

"I'm on a timed mission here." I snapped.

"Brooklyn, I did some research into you that night. They told me that it wasn't my fault and I got promoted. I looked into your file and I know who you are." He said. I nodded.

"I know you don't have a lot of time, but if you meet me outside barrack seven I can talk with you." I nodded. "You can get answers, Brooklyn." He said. I nodded and grabbed some of the Majors papers. I didn't have time to look at them, but I could only pray that it had something to do with Green Shoot. The man grabbed my hand.

"What?" I snapped.

"I'm glad you're ok, Brooklyn." He said. "I know you're probably angry about that night, but I have something to make it better." He said I sighed and the man dragged me over to his quarters. He passed me some papers.

"I did what you suggested." He said and I thanked him. "This is a lot of resistance papers. They found Clarisse last night and killed her in front of us all. That's what tipped me over the edge. There's no family here, Brooklyn! It's-" I cut him off and took his papers.

"I need to go now, but I'll take a look at these and get them back to you ASAP." I said and he grabbed me again.

"Wait!" I was exasperated.

"What?"

"Pick a name for me." He said. "I need a name and I don't know what to call myself. I sighed.

"Guy. Guy Montag." I said. The man laughed.

"What a strange name!" He exclaimed.

"It's from a book."

"Brave New World? Clarisse told me how much you liked it."

"No, It's from Fahrenheit 451. I don't have time to tell you the whole story, but pretty much it's a future world where books are not allowed because the movement doesn't want people thinking-" He cut me off.

"Like Mullin's."

"Yup, and Guy used to be a government official or a 'fireman' and he would burn books but then he met Clarisse, your sister's name, and he started to love books, like you."

"Is Lenina from a book to?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes, but I don't have time right now." I said. He smiled at me. "I'm burning down the major's office after I rob the files. You might want to leave and get everyone out of the building." I said. Guy ran out of the room and nodded at me.

I kind of wished that he kissed me again.

"Brooklyn, come on." Ed said urgently and it snapped me out of my fantasyland. I splashed the kerosene all over the office and took a match.

"I'm a god damn fireman." I said.

"What?" Ed said and then I herd a bang and was about to whip it around when I realized it was over my headset.

"How's the run going?" I herd Janine' voice say.

Shit.

Great, Janine now please leave.

"Fine." He said smoothly and I herd her walk over. He was a much better liar then I was. Then I herd a gasp and I knew that no lying was going to get us out of a very stern talking to on the part of Janine De Luca.

"Where on earth is she?" Janine asked.

"She's at a store and-"

"I'm at Mullin's." I said into the thing.

"It was my idea." Ed said. I gasped a little. "There was fuel over at the base and-"

"It was your idea?" Janine asked. I could tell that she wasn't buying it. Ed coughed.

"It was my idea." I said.

"What is she doing?"

"Right here, why don't you ask me?" I hissed.

"What are YOU doing?" She asked. I looked around.

"Tying up loose ends." I said and lit the match and dropped it then started to run. The fire alarms went off.

"Are those fire alarms?" Janine asked. I ran faster.

"Maybe." I said, almost out of breath.

"Brooklyn, you didn't." Janine exclaimed. I blushed.

"Maybe I did."

"Really, Janine, it was my idea. I swear." Ed finished.

"No, it wasn't now stop covering for her." She snapped. "Oh, great, Brooklyn, isn't everyone going to be just thrilled about this! This is beyond something even you would do!" She snapped. "I can't believe it! Get back to base right now or I swear I'll have you on probation for a year!" Janine snapped. I was about to listen to her when I remembered something.

I have the files for patents and Major Ivory's files but the real important stuff is in a safe in the weaponry.

Shit. That's where the things on Green Shoot would be and that's where I needed to head. I quickly rephrased in my head.

That is where I was going to head.

"Brooklyn!" I herd a voice say and whipped around. Guy was following me. I had mixed feelings about the young and naive private. I really liked him. He was different and that was good, but another part of me knew that I was being disloyal to Jake.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" I snapped. He looked down.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure you got out ok."

"Whatever, say listen, I need to get into that armory." I said. "And I need to keys to the safe. You're a private. Do you have them?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I can get you in, but you need to get the safe open." I shook my head.

"I need they keys. Can you get them for me?" I asked. He sighed.

"There is a senior officer in my barracks. I'll go run now. Meet me at the armory." He said. I grabbed his wrist and looked again.

"This is for luck." I said and kissed his cheek. He blushed and started at a run.

"Are you joking me?" Janine asked. "Really, Brooklyn, I want you home and I want you home now! You're already in enough trouble as it is!" Janine hissed. "I can't believe you sometimes."

"Janine, listen." I said. "I need to do this. You don't understand me, but I need to so please just stop bugging me." I snapped. She turned around.

"Sam! Sam!" She called and then turned back to the microphone. "If I can't control you I'll get someone who can." I herd the door open.

"What's up?" He asked. "Fuel run not going as planned?" He asked.

"To a tee." Janine muttered.

"What's up?" Sam asked.

"Brooklyn snuck over to Mullin's and Ed is saying that it was his idea but I highly doubt it." Janine said and Sam coughed, trying not to laugh.

"You know, Janine, as much as I hate to say it, and as much as I know it'll make you pissed off I'm going to say it; go for it, Brooklyn." He said. I smiled.

"Thanks, Sam." I said.

"I only say that because you know what you're doing with Mullin's." He said. "It's a gutsy move, but we need to know what's going on and if Brooklyn can find out then, well, I'm all for it." Janine groaned in exasperation.

"Move over, man. I'll help her get out." Sam said and I could hear Ed getting up. Sam sat down.

"Brooklyn, you know just because I'm help you now doesn't mean you shouldn't have told me. I mean what happened to trust?"

"I didn't tell you because I thought you wouldn't help."

"Well, I wouldn't have. I would have told Evan or Sara and had them help you. Going out by yourself with out backup was stupid." Sam said. "Sara doesn't just care about you, she's also your contact here at Abel. You can talk to her."

"Well, I'm stupid, so can you please just be quiet right now?" I said and took a deep breath.

"Brooklyn, come on." Sam said. "Get what you need." I started to run faster towards the barracks and met Guy.

"You got the keys?" I asked. He nodded and passed them to me. I threw my arms around him. "I got to do this alone. Please, just go do what you need to." I said. He nodded.

"I'll tell them a squad from New Canton headed towards the barracks with more kerosene." I smiled approvingly and threw my arms around him.

"Don't get yourself killed on me. Ok?"

"I'll try."

"Good." I said and started to run towards the armory. I reached the gates of the armory and hoisted myself onto the roof and through the window.

"I got this, Sam. Can you do me a favor though?"

"Brooklyn, I trust you to know what you're doing." Sam said.

"Talk to me."

"About what?"

"Anything, the sun, books, movies, before, the base, people. I don't know, just talk." I said as I dropped myself down through the window and ran over to the safe, trying the keys one by one until it snapped open.

"I think my favorite book we read was probably Animal Farm. I mean the way that it was like an anecdote for wars and society was really well done. You know what else I liked? I really liked that book, what was it called? The one about the girl who had that key and she escaped the work camps, during the holocaust. It was sad and all, but I liked it."

"Sarah's Key." I responded.

"Yah, that was a sad one." I said and screamed with joy when the safe popped open.

"What's up?" He asked.

"These files, well, they're just amazing! Sensational! I really feel like they-"

"Ninety Three don't move." I turned around. Dr. Hills stood calmly by the door. I was shocked. Everyone else thought it was a New Canton raid.

"H-How did you know it was me?" I asked. She smiled a warm smile.

"Not everyone here knows how the mind works. New Canton had no reason to attack us. Abel has to reason to attack us, but you, you do, Brooklyn."

My name. She used my name.

"W-What did you say?" I asked.

"I know about you, Brooklyn. More then the major will ever. I can tell you what makes you tick and I can tell you what you miss most about before. I find you fascinating, Brooklyn. Please drop the files." She said. I shook my head.

"No freaking way."

"Ok, ok, just calm down. Can we talk?" She asked. I shook my head. "I won't call anyone over here. I swear I'm alone." She said. I looked around.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked. She laughed. It was a different laugh.

"You? I'd know your handiwork anywhere. The violent tendencies, the mass destruction, the strike of freedom and releasing all the prisoners. It wouldn't be anyone else, Brooklyn."

"Why didn't you call the major down here?"

"You ask to many questions, dear, but to answer them, I don't agree with the major's way of running things. Grayson is a smart man but much to like you. He resorts to violence first and-'

"I'm nothing like Major Ivory." I spit.

"Denial is the first stage of grief."

"Shut up."

"Let me make you a deal, Brooklyn." Dr. Hills said and she walked over to me. I grabbed the files tighter.

"If you sit down and talk with me, just me, then you can walk right out of here and no one has to know Brooklyn Harker or Ninety Three was ever here." She said.

It was a good deal. It was a sensational deal.

Too good to be true.

"What's the catch?" I asked.

"We talk about whatever I want." She said.

"Bad idea..." Sam said.

"Are you kidding? It's a great idea. Take the deal, Brooklyn." Janine said.

"Ten bucks says it's a trap." Sam responded. "You remember New Canton? Come on, listen to me, Brooklyn."

"Be quiet, Mr. Yao. Brooklyn, go with her." Janine said. "She can't bring you to the hospital, as you BURNED IT DOWN." She hissed with contempt. I looked around.

"Well maybe if you-"

"Don't turn this on me, Sam. This is solely Brooklyn's fault." Janine snapped. "I am so angry with you, Brooklyn Harker."

"Well, I'm not so don't listen to Janine. She's just angry that someone else had a good idea. A better idea then shoving empty bullet shells with dirt and baking soda or a better idea then-"

"That was different, Mr. Yao. Brooklyn endangered the entire town and for no other reason then her selfish desire for closure and knowledge."

"No, Brooklyn endangered herself. She's made her fair share of mistakes, Janine, but it's the apocalypse. We all change and everyone makes mistakes. She should have checked with us, but that doesn't mean that she's not right."

"This is strike two, Brooklyn. First the whole business with Mullin's and the resistance and now you're back and you're-"

"We asked her to give those notes, Janine. She followed orders. It wasn't her fault that she got caught." I tuned their arguing out. I was glad that Sam was on my side.

"Are you scared, Miss Brooklyn?" Dr. Hills asked. It was a good question. I don't remember feeling real fear in a while. I've felt frustration and hopelessness, but I don't remember fear.

Right now though I was more alive then I'd ever been and I had to use my brain. If I went with her then I had a chance but if I didn't then she'd call everyone else and I doubt being able to escape again.

"Why are you trying to make a deal with me?" I asked. "Why not just call the major now and have him kill me?"

"Because you fascinate me, Brooklyn. I never wanted to kill you. I only wanted to help you, I swear it." She said.

Did I trust her?

No.

Did I need a way out?

Yes.

Was she lying?

I hared to say it, but I had no idea.

"Are you scared, Miss Brooklyn?" She asked.

"Not scared, just hesitant and a bit paranoid." I quipped. She smiled at me.

"Don't be. I want to learn. Just like you always have. Just like you always do. Talk to me and maybe Abel might end up with some valuable information."

"What do you mean?" I asked. Dr. Hills smiled warmly.

Bitch. I still hated her.

"You think I keep all of my files in the hospital? No. I can tell you more about your condition, Miss Brooklyn. I can tell you about your boyfriend and the mission he was asked to go on. I can tell you about zombies and-"

"Give me one second." I said.

"Brooklyn, run. Now.

"What's your call, Miss Harker?"

"It'll just be me and you?" I asked. "No camera, no major, no one else will even know I was here?"

"You have my word, Brooklyn, but I want the headset turned off." She said. I sighed.

"Don't do it, Brooklyn." Sam said. "You're being stupid."

"Like you always do. Like you did yesterday and today and almost every single day of your god damn life." Janine snapped. "Go with her and then get out. Don't listen to Sam. He's a idiot."

"What? I am not! You know what, Janine? Why don't you just leave and-" I took a deep breath and shut the headset off, removing it from my head and passing it to Dr. Hills. She took it and sat down on the ground, locking the door behind her. I wasn't doing it for Janine; I was doing it for myself and for Jake.

I needed answers and if Dr. Hills wanted to play some quid pro quo, well, I was all for it because trust me, two can play the Hannibal Lector game and right now, if that was what I needed to do, then so be it.

Dr. Hills walked over to a drawer and took out a pen and some paper. I gulped a little. She smiled, but it wasn't the same kind of smile it was a scary smile and one like in a movie.

"How old were you when you started to feel pressure from your parents to be military involved?" She asked.

"Are you kidding me? This is what you're going to-"

"Come on, Brooklyn. You know the rules." I sighed.

"Fourteen, they wanted to send me to military school and I refused to go. Why did they kill Jake?" Dr. Hills looked down.

"What?" She asked.

"Quid pro quo, Dr. Lector." I smirked. She looked up after a minute.

"Jake was a threat to our power and by killing him it took away hope. I never thought that you would follow him, Brooklyn." She said.

"Well I did and you know what? My baby brother died because of your god damn-"

"Talk nice, Brooklyn." Dr. Hills said. "Do you think that most people are out to harm you?" She asked. I nodded. "And do you hold grudges?"

"Better then anyone else in the entire world." I said proudly. Dr. Hills still had her notepad out and was writing furiously.

"What affected you most about your parents death?" Dr. Hills asked. I told her that it was the fact that we had fought before and I would never get to tell them how much I loved them. She asked me a whole bunch of questions about myself and I asked her about Mullin's. She told me anything I wanted to know and never bat an eye. This was to good to be true.

"Is Mullin's going to attack Abel because of me?" I asked.

"There is no planned attack on your new base, Miss Brooklyn." Dr. Hills said. I breathed easy. "Why are you sitting with me here and now?" She asked. "And be honest."

"Well, I want to leave alive." I said and then sighed. "I'm also very curious about Mullin's and your offer intrigued me. You do understand that Major Ivory will kill you if he finds you here talking with me."

"He won't. I'm the only doctor and thank you for being honest." She said.

"Why foes Mullin's use numbers instead of names and why do you get names?" I asked.

"Names are a form of identity. Did you talk about that in school before you came here?" I nodded and she went on. "Mullin's wants you to see people as comrades and not friends or family. I get a name along with the other high ranking officials because it makes us seem bigger then you and more intimidating."

"Are we done?" I asked and Dr. Hills nodded.

"For today." When she said that it gave me chills. I don't know what she meant but I didn't want to. I took a deep breath and picked up my bag, snatching my headset on and snapping it on again.

"Sam? I'm back."

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yah, just get me back home." I said and true to her word Dr. Hills did not call for anyone or do anything along those lines.

It almost creped me out, how calm and sweet she was being. She still both scared and creped me out. I ran back to Abel as soon as I could. Janine was waiting for me at the gates, as was almost the entire base. She started to lecture me on the responsibility of a runner and I honestly didn't pay attention. The crowd started to thin out and Janine was still yelling at me.

Until I passed her the bag. She rolled her eyes and looked inside then gasped.

"Brooklyn, what is this?" She asked me.

"A bunch of files. Sam is the comms guy. I thought that he might be able to make some sense of it." I said and then Janine smiled a wry smile at me. It was not the 'you're forgiven' smile. It was the 'nice work' smile.

"Good work, Five, but this does not mean you're off the hook. You disobeyed my orders, turned your headset off, and went behind my back, not to mention burning half of Mullin's down. Five days worth of probation and then we have a food run for Christmas and I want you going." She said, taking the bag.

"Wait!" I called after her. She turned around. "Can I just take a few things?" I asked. She looked hesitant but nodded. I shuffled through and found my file and then my families and then Jake's and then Guy's and I walked back to bed. Sara was pacing the room. She looked over at me and gave me the damnation look for the first time in a long time.

"You scared me so much! How could you do that? That was just irresponsible! What were you thinking, Five? Did you even think about us back at base or did that just slip your mind? " She yelled and stormed out. Sam looked up from a comic book.

"Just you and me tonight, Five. Janine's gone for the night! Yah! Try pissing the town off more often It's quieter when you do. " He said. I lay back. Ed walked in with Molly.

"I'm sorry that-"

"No, Ed, I'm sorry I talked you into it. I was stupid. People know it's my fault and not yours?" He nodded.

"For the record, Runner Five, I think you're the bravest one here." He said and I smiled. Ed walked out.

"Sam?" I said. He looked down.

"Yah?"

"I think I have PMS." I said.

"What's that? Pissed at men syndrome? That's what my mum told me it was when I was younger."

"You're a idiot!" I exclaimed good-naturedly and threw my pillow up at him, which was a bad idea, because we all only got one pillow. I was gladder then you could imagine that Sam wasn't angry with me. "Sam?" I ask after throwing the pillow back and froth a little. "When's Sara going to be not angry with me?" I asked.

"Tomorrow. Trust me, Five. She's just a little hyper vigilante and she cares about you." I nodded and lay back. "Brooklyn, what did that doctor say to you?" He asked. I bit my lip.

"She just asked me a lot of questions." I said and he sighed. Silence for a while. "This wasn't it, Sam. I'm going back sometime. They started a new resistance and I need to figure out what's going on with Dr. Hills." I said.

"Don't be stupid, but I know that you're not, so I trust you, Brooklyn. Do what you think is right, but give everyone some time to cool off and, hey, enjoy Christmas and new years!" He said and I laughed, falling asleep to Sam's soothing voice, talking about some magic solar powered X Box and how zombies probably ate Santa.

No, Santa was killed by Mullin's Base. They killed all the holidays and believe me; I'm going to figure out all of those goddamn secrets in that base if it kills me. I'm going to help Guy with the resistance and not just because he's a good kisser or because I'm a hero. I'm not. I'm just a runner doing the right thing.

Conclusion of the day; Sam is the best friend I'll ever have and for the first time I am starting to realize that it's not me that does the hard work, it's Sam.

I'm not even going to mention Dr. Hills because I don't know how I feel about her anymore.

And kerosene smells like shit. If any of you, fellow survivors and readers, plan on burning down a base anytime soon don't use the stuff in red cans only matches.


	21. Apocalypse Soap Opera

November 19th 2014

I honestly don't know what time it was when my stomach started hurting and my first thought was about someone drugging me.

Maybe I am paranoid.

I stumbled out of bed and looked in the mirror. I was about to go back to bed when I felt a wrench in my stomach. I put my hand over my mouth, and rushed to the bathroom. I fell to my knees in front of the toilet and threw my guts up.

No, I was not sick. Trust me, I preferred being sick. This time of month was not my favorite and I didn't know how Abel would handle it. Mullin's had a supply of sanitary napkins and after a full cleansing and examination from the infamous Dr. Hills you could take one, but Abel...well...I wasn't so sure.

"Brooklyn?" I could hear a voice call. Then the bathroom door opened. Suzy was standing there in the doorway. "Brooklyn, I couldn't sleep and my mummy has a big run and- Brookie, are you ok?" She asked. I almost smirked at the nickname, but I leaned over the toilet again and threw up for a third time.

"Suzy, I'm fine. Did you- oh Jesus-" I groaned and felt the acidy and bitter taste rising up in my mouth. Of course, by now I had nothing left to throw up but I still I gagged again and puked. It left an almost burning sensation in my throat. "Come up here all by yourself?" I finally manage to choke out. She nodded and walked over to my side.

"Are you sick?" She asked, putting a hand on my forehead. "My mummy does this when she thinks that I'm sick. Would you like me to sing for you, Miss Brooklyn?"

"No, honey. I'm not sick." I said. She removed her hand.

"You look sick. Should I go get Dr. Myers?" She asked. "I think Dr. Myers is very nice. Sometimes she has me come in and sing to the people who are sick. I like making them smile. Brooklyn. It must be hard knowing that you're going to die or become something different that you're not. You're not dying are you, Brooklyn? Would you like me to sing to you? I know a very pretty new song." She said. I was sick again into the toilet. My stomach was starting to cramp up and I grabbed onto it.

I could remember the first time this happened to me. It was at my friend's house and I thought that I was dying the cramps were so bad. I had to get sent home and all. Of course, my mother didn't bother to comfort me, she only told me that it was a natural part of growing up, that it happened to everyone and if I went into the military I would have to suck it up.

Of course, I was thirteen at the time and I already knew I didn't want to be in the military.

Heck, I've known that I didn't want to be in the military ever since my mom and dad got me a camouflage printed jacket and I told them it that the little brown and black spots made it look like a dog crapped on out grass.

No one appreciated that comment.

"I just learned to sing a song called Viva La Vida by a band called Cold Play. Isn't that a funny name, Miss Brooklyn? If I were to have a band I don't know what I'd call them. " Suzy asked but by this time I was sick again.

"Suzy, can you do me the hugest favor and go get a grownup?" I asked.

"So you are sick!" She proclaimed.

"No, honey, I'm having PMS and possibly getting my period." I said without thinking. Suzy's little face creased over with concern.

"What's that mean?" She asked. I silently swore to myself.

"I'll tell you when you're ten." I said and put my head in my hands. She pouted a little.

"I am ten, Miss Brooklyn. I'm turning eleven on Christmas. My mom says I'm a Christmas baby."

"Can you go get Janine or Sara?" I asked, slouching against the wall.

"What's PMS?"

"Pre motherhood syndrome." I said. It was the first thing that came to mind and I was not thinking clearly and two in the morning. I instantly regretted saying it.

"You're going to be a mommy?" She exclaimed excited. I groaned, exasperated with the conversation.

"No. I'm not. Please go get Janine or Sara." I said.

"Well, Janine is angry with you and Sara has a run tomorrow." I closed my eyes and grabbed my stomach.

"Please just go get a grownup." I cried, my voice was starting to break.

"Ok, ok. Just don't die, Miss Brooklyn. If you die then there's no other grown up who will play with us. I'm going. I'll run as fast as I can." She said and true to her words ran out. After only a few seconds she came back to the bathroom tugging a tired looking Sam Yao. I groaned. This was going to be weird and very awkward.

"Brooklyn? You ok?" He asked and crouched next to me. I nodded.

"Can you get Sara or Janine?" I asked. He nodded.

"Sure thing, are you sick?" Sam asked. "Want me to get Dr. Myers?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Sara or Janine." I insisted and he leaned over. I was not going to have this conversation with Dr. Myers.

"You look sick." Sam insisted. Oh man, I really didn't feel like doing this now.

"She was throwing up." Suzy offered.

"Brooklyn?" He asked. I looked at him. "Don't lie to me."

"Sam? You are not a girl." I finally said after thinking about my words. "Please go get Sara or Janine and stop wondering about the mysteries of being a women." I said. He blushed.

"Ohhhhhh... I get it. Ok, come on, Suzy. Let's go get Sara." He said taking her hand.

"Brooklyn has motherhood syndrome! She's going to have a baby! The bird is going to come!" Suzy said and danced out of the house. I guess people didn't have time to educate the ten year olds in the ways of the world. That was my next goal of being here at Abel.

"She's not having a baby. Don't go saying that."

"I want a baby. I wish I was going to be a mother, just like Brooklyn." Suzy said as she left. I closed my eyes and sat up against the wall breathing and ignoring the cramps. A few minutes later Sara walked through the door.

"Want to have a cease fire?" I asked her, not knowing if she was still angry. Sara knelt down next to me.

"Sure, honey. What's going on?"

"Do you have a-umm-er-" I didn't really want to ask Sara. I wished she could read minds so that I didn't have to say it. She was probably pissed at me still and it was just awkward saying it. "A um-you know, a thingy. I didn't want to wake you up, but I don't know where they are and Suzy was to little and Sam's a boy." Sara laughed a little.

I didn't think there was anything funny about the situation.

"You look horrible. Are they always like this for you?" She asked and I nodded.

"Ok, I'll go get you a 'thingy.'" She said and I smiled a little. "Do you want an Advil?" She asked.

"Yes." I said without thinking. Sara smiled.

"Good. I'm glad you trust us now." She said and I lean back and try to relax until she comes back with the pills and the 'thingy.' I relaxed and after cleaning up Sara helped me back to my bed and sat down next to me.

"Aren't you going to sleep somewhere else because you're pissed at me because I didn't follow orders?" I asked. She shakes her head.

"Nah, it's much more fun staying here with you and Sam. Where's Janine?" She asked.

"Either too annoyed to come in here tonight or pouring over those files I got." I said. She smiled. Sam was back asleep. I took Sara's hand.

"You know, I'm glad you found my ID and I'm glad we're friends now." I say and she nods.

"I'm glad you're trusting us, Brooklyn. Everyone needs someone. Especially now and with your family gone and all, you shouldn't have to do it alone. No one should." She said and I nodded.

"Not Guy either." I muttered.

"Who's Guy?" She asked. I blushed and she must have known.

"Oh, I see. Ok, do we need to talk?" She asked me. I sat up and nodded. "Why not try it?" She asked. "Just go for it, Brooklyn. Honey, I know two guys right now who would be dying for you-"

"Two?" I asked and she nodded.

"Brooklyn, Sam is a very nice boy." I started to bury my head in a pillow.

"Go away now, Sara. Sam is just a friend. I loved Jake and maybe Guy."

"Brooklyn, honey, can you just talk with me?" She pleaded. I turned over and kissed my ring.

"I love Jake more than the world, Sara. More than anything in the world and more than-"

"He's gone, honey. I'm sorry, but he is." Sara said and I held back a solitary tear from falling.

"I miss him, Sara. I miss him more then I miss hot water, and my parents, and a real house, and feeling happy and gyms, and coffee with foam and-" I said and went on listing things that I missed. She nodded sympathetically.

"I know, I know. Believe me, I do."

"Tell me I'm irresponsible."

"I'm not going to say that. It's not true." She insisted and I lay back down. "Come on now, sweetheart. Act your age and let go of the past."

"Sara, do you ever wonder what's going to happen to us?"

"All the time, honey. We all do." She said and looked around the room.

"I mean not just us, but, well, the human race. I used to study biology, you see, there was this thing called natural selection and I'm kind of worried, Sara. You see, not only do we lose a friend, when someone dies, we also lose a companion and- Shit, Sara, and I don't know what I'm saying anymore. It's too late for this."

"Ok, sweetheart. Just relax, and don't you worry about needing my help with this. I'll show you where we keep them tomorrow."

"Thanks, Sara." I said and she smiled, getting into her own bed. "Wait, Sara, one more thing."

"What's that, honey?"

"Those files. Do you think Janine would let me look at them?" I asked. Sara sat up.

"I wouldn't push your luck as of right now, but later-"

"Because I asked her for some and I got a few of them. She gave me mine and Jake's and my families."

"Are you seeing Dr. Myers tomorrow?"

"Maybe. Depends on if I feel like showing up."

"Brooklyn..." She said and frowned at me. "Come on now, be nice."

"She's a crackpot who doesn't know what she's talking about and not to mention-"

"Stop that. You got her that box at the very beginning and now she's seeing if you can be the one to go on runs for her. Be nice." I looked around.

"Christmas is in a week. Do you guys do Christmas?"

"Yes we do. Us runners are busy this time of year."

"I think that we should find a tree and maybe I can get Jack and Eugene to play carols. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Don't expect that eye batting to get you anywhere with them. They've been together since they came here."

"It gets me places with other people." I said and Sara laughs.

"So, us runners kind of play Father Christmas for everyone here. We each have assigned barracks and help people get thing for each other."

"That's cool." I said, my mind already twirling with ideas about what to get people as to take my mind off of the cramps and blood.

"Brooklyn, when you see Dr. Myers tomorrow talk about Jake with her. Ok? See what it does. Just try it for me."

"I can't believe I even started this crackpot therapy sessions. I only did it so I didn't have to sit around in the damn hospital anymore."

"No one doubts your motivation, honey, but right now you need to get better."

"I'm not sick."

"You're rather paranoid, possibly depressed, and don't forget the insomnia. That's three right there."

"Who's to say that's bad? Maybe being paranoid is a good thing nowadays? Maybe not sleeping is better? What if we have a invasion and I'm the only one awake?"

"God help whoever is doing the invading."

"I'm not paranoid and I'm not depressed and I have a sleeping problem. That's not insomnia." I snap.

"Just go to bed, honey." Sara said to me, clearly done arguing. I closed my eyes tight.

Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. Sam. He was so sweet to me and so kind. He was always there when I woke up screaming or when I needed someone to talk to. He was patent with me and he never got angry at me. He was funny and always encouraging of what I wanted to do. He always played with the children and he never had a sour word for anyone. Not even Janine, who annoyed him to no end. He was always civil to her. I could feel my heart rate start to pick up.

"Sam!" I whispered. He looked down.

"Feeling better?"

"I was never sick. Did you get Suzy back alright?" I asked. He nodded. I got up. "I'm going to look for Janine. Can you just make sure Sara doesn't flip out or anything? Tell her that I'm fine and I was just embarrassed and feeling normal for that time of month?"

"Sure thing." He said and lay back down. I cracked the door open and walked out. I always forgot just how cold it was in November, because I always made the same mistake of going out in really short running shorts and really tight tank tops. They're very practical when going running because they feel good and absorb sweat, but around base, whenever I'm not running, I really should wear something different.

I took a walk over to the armory and then over to the comms, hopping to find Janine. She was sitting over the papers, the light on, and a cup of coffee, steaming by her side. I knocked on the comms door.

"Can I come in?" I asked. She looked up, gave me a nasty look and then looked back down at her papers. "Come on, Janine, I know your angry at me, but I'd really appreciate it if you forgave me. I had Abel's best intentions at heart." I said and Janine looked around.

"Can you make sense of this?" She asked me and passed me a file.

"I think this is a discipline plan." I said and touched it gently. "And this one is a map of the barracks." I said. She sighed and put them down.

"You should get some sleep, Janine." I said and put the papers back in the files.

"You're right. Let's go. We can make sense of these tomorrow." She said and I smiled.

"Sure thing. Don't worry about Mullin's, Janine. They're not going to do anything. Ok?" I said.

"I'm not worried, Runner Five. I'm just apprehensive. Nothing lasts forever." She pointed out and we started to walk back to barracks.

"True, Janine, but all we have to do is outlast the zombies and then we'll be fine." I said and she nodded.

"I do hope you're right, Miss Harker."

"I know I am." I proclaimed and opened the door to barracks.

"Hey, Janine!" Sam exclaimed.

"Hello, Sam." She said and lay down.

"Say, Janine, is there anything you need? Runner Two found a untouched hardware store downtown in the city."

"Not right now, Sam." She responded. That was weird. She would have usually been all over it and she never called Sam by his first name.

"Janine, are you ok?" I asked. She looked down at me.

"I'm fine, Miss Brooklyn. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

I asked and stood up.

"You know, I'm going for a walk." I said.

"Yah, just around base, Janine. I have things to mull over." I said and walked over to the rec center. As I opened the door I herd talking.

"I-I-I'm sorry! I really am! I just-"

"You're not sorry, dirtbag! You're not! You're the worst one here! You'll be eaten before you turn seventeen!"

"That's not true!" The first quivering voice said.

"Yes it is! You can't fight or use a gun or-" I banged the door open. A little group of boys from ages twelve to fifteen were all sitting in a circle. Someone who looked to be the leader was holding Darry's collar and looked about ready to punch him.

"And what on earth is going on here?" I snapped. The older boy dropped a very scared looking Darry and stood up.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked me, narrowing his eyes. Darry had run over to the corner. The rest of the boys were all looking a bit unsure of everything. The oldest one puffed his chest and flashed me his biceps.

I tried not to crack up.

Really? Really? This was supposed to intimidate me? The fifteen-year-old boy that pretended he had biceps. I wasn't scared.

""Sweetheart, let me tell you 'who the hell I am.' My name is Brooklyn Harker, or maybe you know me better as Runner Five. Either or works for me, but let me lay down the rules here. You do not, let me say that again, DO NOT touch anyone here in a violent manner-"

"Yah, but you and Sam Yao can get it on all you want in a very violent manner." The boy snapped back. I raised my head.

"Sam Yao is a very good friend of mine and if you ever talk in that degrading manner about him or myself again, I will personally see that Janine finds out and she'll let me deal with you." I hissed. How people, even in the apocalypse, have nothing better to do with their life then make up lies was beyond me.

"Whatever. We're busy. Leave now." He said and gave me another bicep flash. I was a little more pissed now that he'd dragged Sam into this. The fifteen year old was no longer just a joke.

"No, I'm disbanding this little fight club of yours. Starting now, by the count of three, you all better be out of here or I will personally see to your punishments." I snapped. No one made any move. Instead they all just stood up and looked me in the eyes.

Was I intimidated? No.

Was I more pissed? Yes.

Did I reflect on my actions a little more? Yes. Was this how I acted all the time? If so, I swear to god I'm sorry, dear reader and I will make every concerted effort to change.

Maybe.

"You're not doing anything, but leaving, Runner Five. We're busy!"

"It's three in the god damn morning and I'm sure your parents are worried or asleep. Either way, go home and stop this nonsense." I snapped and looked over at Darry, whom I had never seen so close to tears.

"Let us just finish with, Darry." The boy said. This was good. He was breaking down.

"Are you hazing him?" I asked. They looked at the ground. "No! No way! Everyone go home! I came here for some peace and quiet and what do I get? A bunch of fourteen year old bullies playing 'The Godfather!'" I snapped and slammed my hand down on the chair. Maybe if I played it violent then they'd leave.

"He needs to be taught a lesion! He's weak and useless! He should be-" I stopped. Those words rang a belle. They would say that at Mullin's all the time. I took a deep breath.

"Ok, honey, let me tell you something. I can't fight at all and I can just barely shoot a gun and don't you ever let me catch you saying that again. You have ten seconds to get out of here and go back home. NOW. If you think I'm going to be scared of your non-existent biceps you are sadly mistaken." I snapped. "Now you have ten seconds to get out of here and go back home or-" They were all gone before I could finish my sentence. Darry was still in the corner. I walked over to the twelve year old and knelt down. He was usually the smartass and he never shut up. He pushed me until I got angry and I always forgave him It was strange to see him like this. Those assholes must have really shaken him up.

"Thanks, Miss Brooklyn." He muttered and I helped him up.

"No problem. Listen, I don't know what's going on, honey, but you should talk to someone you trust about all this. Does your dad know?" I asked and he shook his head. "Ok, so why don't we go tell him together." I said and Darry shook his head vehemently.

"I'll tell him, Miss Brooklyn. He hates you." Darry said.

"Ok, just let me walk you back home. Ok?" I asked and Darry nodded. I helped him up and took his hand and we walked back home together. "You know, what you did when I was sick was sweet."

"What did he do?" A voice behind me asked. I turned around to see Simon, or Runner Three. To put it to a tee, Simon was even more of a wise ass then myself and I was not on the mood for it.

"What are you doing up, Simon" I asked with a sigh.

"Aww, don't you look happy to see me, Brooklyn. Well, It's five o'clock and I like to enjoy the peace and quiet or I have a run at six, but we'll go with the first one. Then you yelling over at the rec center disturbed the quiet and I thought that maybe there was something interesting going on, but it turns out that it was just you having another mental breakdown. What about this time, my dear Miss Brooklyn?" asked me. I turned to face him

"Have you been in the whiskey storage? Because you seem a bit drunk?" I said and he laughed, putting an arm around my shoulder. Darry snickered.

"Dear Brooklyn, dear sweet yet slightly airheaded, Brooklyn. You never as a man that, because the answer is usually yes." I smirked and Darry jumped up the stairs to his house. I ignored Simon for a few seconds, how I managed to do that was beyond me

"Visiting me in the hospital was a sweet thing to do, Darry. Thank you for taking such good care of the younger kids. You're nothing like those bullies." I said and he smiled.

"Thanks, Miss Brooklyn." He yawned. "Are you ok? You look tired too."

"Jesus, I am." I said to Darry and ruffled his hair. He yawned.

"Don't lose any sleep over those assholes. That's all they are." I said and smiled a warm smile. "It's hard, I know, but they're not worth your time." I said. "If you need anything come to me. Ok? Anytime of the night, just call." I reassured.

"Right, kiddo, and who needs enemies when you have people like Miss Brooklyn who sleep-"

"Ok! We're done here." I said and pulled Simon away, fearing what he was going to say to the twelve-year-old boy.

"Ok, Miss Brooklyn. Say hey to Sam for me and you don't listen to those boys either because they're stupid. I believe that you and Sam are just friends." He said and closed his house door. Simon turned to me.

"But I don't."

"Well, your opinion means nothing to me, you idiot." I snapped. Simon was one of the people I could be completely rude to and he would just snap back with his own remarks and take it. He put an arm around my shoulder.

Yah, he only did that when he was drunk.

"Why were you up this early, Brooklyn, dear sweet yet slightly-?"

"Because I need somewhere quiet to think and you are not providing that for me." I snapped. Simon laughed. He and I had a weird relationship. I liked talking to him but he got extremely annoying after three minutes.

"Ohhh...Somewhere quiet to ponder and think! Much more exciting then 'I have a run in a hour.' About what are you thinking, dear, sweet, and full of no good thoughts, Brooklyn?"

"You shutting up. It's making me smile." I snap.

" You don't look like you're smiling at me. Anyways, I think about you all the time. You and Maggie, but she'd slap me if I said that to her. You'll sit here and take it. Seriously, what are you thinking about?"

"Well, boys, I guess." I said and he looked around, the smile growing on his face. "And you're not one of them." I added.

"Any certain boys?" Simon asked. I shook my head and we started to walk over to the gates. I had the day off, as I was kind of on probation with Janine, but that was ok with me and I wasn't even going to try sneaking out.

"No, no certain boys." I said. That was a total lie. There were two boys that I was thinking about.

"Sam Yao is a boy." Simon said in a singsong voice.

"Yes, and so are you and so is Evan and Darry and Ed. There are plenty of boys in the town." I said, blushing.

"Yah, but only one boy your thinking about and I know that you're not thinking 'bout me or Darry or Ed. You're thinking 'bout Sam Yao, the comms operator, Sam Yao, the amazing one that you always talk about, Sam Yao, the one who saved your life more times then you can count, Sam Yao the-"

"Shut up and pipe down before I shut you up and run over to Maggie and tell her about your X-rated dreams about her."

"I'll tell Sam you like him and that you want a kiss."

"Then I'll tell everyone you're a liar."

"Please, everyone knows it's true, so stop pretending that I'm not right."

"I suppose in your world you're always right."

"Yup, so bottom line is that you tell him or I do."

"If you even think about it I'll-well-I'll- Jesus, Simon just leave me alone."

"You do like him though, right?"

"Well, there's someone else..." I said, trailing off.

"Who?"

"Are you going to shoot your big mouth off?"

"No, it's just for my personal storage, so when I see you I can just snicker and think of this, and anyways. You need someone to talk to and no one else understand your pain filled suffering. I do though. Keep going, this is getting good. It's been a long time since we here at Abel have had a good romance and tragedy." He said half sarcastically.

"Tragedy?" I gulped. Simon nodded.

"Oh, yah! These love triangle things always end in heartbreak and suicide."

"How do you know?"

"Because before the outbreak I watched far to many daytime Spanish soap operas on television. Damn, those people in Mexico sure know how to keep you hooked. I think when the world ended Maria had just left Alberto and he was planning to kill her new husband or something like that." Simon said and looked into my eyes. "Who are the lucky guys, dear, sweet, yet a very big tease, Brooklyn?"

"Guy. He's a soldier that I met. I kissed him, just to get something, but now I think I love him, Simon and I don't know what to do and I try to talk to Sara but she's all into this follow your heart crap and well, I can't talk to Sam or Janine and don't get me started on Dr. Myers and Ed just misses his wife to much."

"Ah, the Gossip Girl of our post apocalyptic world. I do love a good bit of drama now and then. You're a doll for brining it to me. Usually I have to hunt it."

"Yah, well

"What would you do, Simon?"

"Well, who is this Guy?"

"I told you, a soldier that I kissed and I think I love him."

"You love him? After one kiss? I don't think so! It's called a one-night stand, Saint Brooklyn Ida. Come on now, that's just ridiculous."

"I'm far from a saint, Simon. I'm the biggest slut in all of utopia."

"Far from that too. Believe me when I tell you, Brooklyn. I'd know."

"I just don't know how I feel about Sam or Guy. I don't know how I feel about Jake and I don't know what love is anymore." It was rare that I open up to someone that I rarely talked too, but hey, if this winded up all over base I could always just deny it.

Simon was drunk.

"Ok, can I get serious Dr. Phil here with you for a minute, Brooklyn. Will you slap me?" I shook my head. "Ok, I'm violating a guy rule by doing this so you will have peace." I looked up. "You owe me one."

"What? What is it?" I asked and adjusted the leather bomber jacket around my tighter.

"I'm better at reading emotions then you'll ever know. I'm a man of mystery, Brooklyn, and I find things out in this line of work."

"What's that? Getting drunk, sleeping with girls, or running?"

"The last one, now get the attitude in check or I won't tell you."

"Tell me." I begged, curious now.

"Anyways, like I was saying, I'm better at reading emotions then you'll ever know and Sam really likes you, Five." Darry said to me. "I mean, I don't know this soldier guy but Sam thinks you're really, honestly, smokin' hot and between you and me, I'd agree if I haven't been pinning over Runner Six for the last two days."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because I'm psychic."

"Really?"

"No, you idiot, because I see him staring at you, and he worries like hell over you, and when we thought you were gone that night? Well let's just say he was a nervous freaking wreck."

"Really?"

"You know that, stupid! He was all like 'Brooklyn's gone and now we don't-"

"Honest to god? You think he likes me?" I asked. Simon rolled his eyes.

"Could you honestly be more dense, Brooklyn? Did they screw with your head so much at Mullin's that you can no longer pick up social quos? Did they brainwash you so much that you can no longer realize it when a guy likes you? Come on, sweetheart. Open your god damn eye, Five. Sam likes you a lot and you have a choice to make."

"Really? Don't play jokes on me..."

"Have you not heard the rumors? Everyone is talking about it, airhead. I know that stare. Don't think I'm as clueless as I pretend to be. Man, look at the time. Already five thirty. I got to run. I'll say hey to Sam for you and I hope I helped. Goodbye, Brooklyn, parting is such sweet sorrow!" Simon called and ran off.

He didn't help. He only made it worse. Back at barracks Sara was stretching.

"Long walk, Brooklyn."

"I had some trouble. Don't worry about it, Sara."

"Want to talk?"

"If I'm not to busy throwing up my guts and worrying about a love triangle that only I know about. God, Sara. Is love supposed to be this hard? Would you even call it that?"

"Brooklyn, you have to think. I can't make decisions for you, honey, but you need to think about what love is, sweetheart."

"I know that it's strange. I'm supposed to love and miss my parents, but I don't. I think I love you though, Sara. I love you more then my mother, I know that much, in a matter of fact, Sara, you're like my mother." I said and then went on without thinking. "Sometimes I think that you're the only one here that I really and truly love. Is that wired? You're just so much like a mother to me that I-" Sara looked taken aback. "I'm sorry, Sara. I just-you're just always here. I don't mean to be weird."

"It's not weird, honey, and I'm glad that you trust me."

"I'm glad that you're here. Come home soon, Sara."

"Ok, I have to go now, sweetheart, but think about what I said." She ran off and left me alone in barracks.

"Stupid me. Why did I have to go and make things more complicated?" I snap at myself. "This isn't Melrose Place! This is the god damn apocalypse!" I yelled into nothing.

"Yet sometimes as a doctor you have to deal with everything. I don't like it much either." I heard a voice say. I turned around and Dr. Myers was standing in the door. "Want to start a session now?" She asked me and I was about to say something sarcastic when I bit my lip.

"Yes, actually. That would be very helpful." She smiled at me and I got up. We walked over to her hospital and the makeshift office. She sat down in a ripped chair and took out her 'Brooklyn' notebook. She was already on page seven and I had half a mind to steal it.

I probably would later during my probation time.

"So, Brooklyn, word travels rather fast here and I herd about Darry and Simon and...well...Sam and Guy." I tossed my head back.

"You're not going to tell are you?"

"Doctor-patent confidentiality rules. I don't tell unless you're threatening to hurt yourself or someone else."

"I'm going to go god damn hurt Simon. That's who I'm going to hurt." I said and she smiled.

"Let's talk about Jake first." She looks at her notepad. "Do you still consider yourself in a relationship?" I nod.

"I'd be disloyal if I ever was in another relationship." I said to her and she writes something down.

"Brooklyn, do you think that Jake would have wanted you to live like this?" I nodded. "He and I always swore we'd be together forever and now is forever, right?" She gave me her 'I'm a shrink and I know best' smile.

"Oh god, ok, here we go. You're going to get up and storm out." She worried.

"Just take your chances." I said, curious now.

"If Jake would have wanted you to stay sad and alone forever, even after his death, then he wouldn't have been a very good friend, now would he?" I had half a mind to throw my chair at her, but I didn't. I just sat there.

"I guess he wouldn't have wanted me to be sad forever." I say after a few minutes. "He would have wanted me to be alone though."

"I'm not going to say that I knew him, but that would be incredibly selfish if that were the case, Brooklyn." She said and sighed. "I had this girlfriend, Brooklyn Her name was Paula and I'm pretty sure we loved each other, but I don't know what happened to her. Let's just say that I can't hope for the best, ok? I haven't met anyone special yet, but I know that when I do, I'm not going to feel guilty, because I know that she would have wanted me to be happy."

"Jake wasn't like that though." I mused and looked down. "It's complicated."

"And we have time."

"He was overprotective, not abusive but overprotective. That's all. I'm angry with myself for kissing Guy and really, really liking Sam and being disloyal to Jake."

"You're not being disloyal if he's dead."

"What do I do, Dr. Myers?"

"You need to talk to them both and decide who you want to be with. I'm not taking sides here, this is up to you, but you need to remember who Guy is, different or not, rebellion or not, he's a Mullin's soldier. You used him, Brooklyn. Do you love him?"

"I don't know. Change topics and stop making this harder on me, please."

"Darry." She said. "Sensational job. They have a little group that apparently they haze people to get in. They plan on starting their own town when they're older."

"It'll be Lord of The Flies." I said and Dr. Myers laughed.

"Yes, you stopped them in their tracks. Well done. That's all I wanted to say on the matter."

"Next on your list?" I asked. She smiled at me.

"The missions I plan on sending you on."

"I'm willing to go, Dr. Myers."

"If anyone deserves to know what's in the box it's you, Brooklyn, you risked your life getting it. After Christmas I'll be sending you back to the hospital to look for some answers. You'll need to be able to relax and take orders."

"I can take orders!" I said offended. "I just don't choose to." She laughs a little.

"We'll do more work on fears later."

"Next?" I asked.

"Mullin's." She said and tensed her fingers on the pen. She knew that she had started treading in dangerous waters now. She probably expected me to shoot up and start yelling.

"I said I was sorry. I didn't really mean to burn half the base down; I just kind of did it. I know how that sounds but it's true." I pleaded with her almost and she nodded.

"I know how it works, that's not what I wanted to ask. I thought today we could work a little more on our irrational fears and thoughts?" She asked. I nodded.

"This is why I love therapy with you. You can come up with fifty million different ways to say 'you're a paranoid mess.'" I joked. She rolled her eyes at me and we talked about needles and electrotherapy and Mullin's finally she cut me off and put her pen down.

"This whole thing with Sam and Guy really has nothing to do with disproval. Your underlying feeling is all about Mullin's and loss. As much as you hate to admit it, Brooklyn, everything you do is because of Mullin's. The rebellious and violent nature, the smart talk, Mullin's taught you to be tough because you didn't conform. The only reason that you won't have a romance now is because you're scared of success and happiness. Brooklyn, you are more scared of loss then anything. Hospitals and sedatives are your fear of loss of control, with a little PTSD added. This whole Guy and Sam thing is loss of another relationship, your 'paranoia' might just be fear of someone taking your life or-"

"So I'm not really scared of anything?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Ok, but I'm more scared of something else?"

"Precisely."

"You're a genius!"

I didn't know all of what she meant, but most of it made sense. I held up my hand.

"Breakthrough!" I said with as much enthusiasm as my fried brain would let me muster. She was writing furiously and I put my hand down, yawing. "Dr. Myers, I'm spending the day in the recreating center. I want to get out of the hospital now and make sure things are ok for Darry. See you later, doc, don't stress too much about me. I'm ok. No longer a lost cause." I said standing. She nodded.

"I'll see you later, Brooklyn. I'm rather excited to pick up where we left off."

"You have a god damn medical breakthrough. Sensational work, doc! I'm feeling better already and I know what I need to do."

"Or WHO she needs to do." I herd a voice say and turned around to see Simon again. "Have you made up your mind? Tell me how things work out, dear, sweet, determined, and slightly stubborn, Brooklyn."

"Slightly stubborn?" Dr. Myers said innocently.

"Crap, I wished you'd be out for longer." I said.

"It was just a quick run. I have med. supplies and I couldn't help but overhear your session, dear, sweet, and emotional, Brooklyn."

"To bad, now that you know my secrets I'm going to have to shoot you, just like they did back at my base." I said without missing a beat." He laughed and patted my back.

"You're getting better at this." He remarked and passed the bag to Dr. Myers. I gave him probably the most genuine smile that I would have ever given someone I thought was annoying.

"Thanks, Simon. Bye, Dr. Myers. I'll see you soon." I said. It took a lot to be that nice to her, but honestly, she had helped me and she seemed pretty on ball. Maybe I could start to trust her a little more. Dr. Hills wasn't like her and she had a special mission for me to go on after Christmas.

Remember that box I picked up, dear reader? Well, we're going to look into it more. I'm going to be like Sherlock Holmes, which was kind of a boring book.

Conclusion of the day: Kids can be real jerks when they want to be.

PMS sucks worse during the apocalypse.

I am really scared of lose, not hospitals and boys.

I need to get Dr. Myers something nice for Christmas. Maybe a new stethoscope or some needles. As long as she kept them far away from me, still. I wasn't ready for that yet.


End file.
